Osscrover of Dom: DEATH OF LIFE OR DEATH
BEGGINNING of PART ONE: INTRODUCTION TO THE STORY
HE GOING TO KILL US! Said the demons.
I WILL SHOOT AT HIM! Said the Cyberdemon, and he fired the rocket missiles.
John Stalvern plasmaed at him, and tried to blew him up.
But then the ceiling fell, and they were trapped, and not able to kill.
NO! I MUST KILL THE DEMONS! He shouted.
The radio said: No John, you are the – and the radio was explodded by an unseen thing, and John was not a zombie.
Who did that? John said.
Sounds came out of the rubble and the rubble stirred like peanuts in a tree, and it was the cyberdemon!
JOHN STALVERN YOU WILL DIE THE DEATH OF DEATH OF LIFE OR DEATH! It aboved.
The cyberdemon pointed the rocket missiles at John's face, and John tried to escape, but John was trapped, and not able to escape.
The cyberdemon pointed closer to John's face. EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE SAID IS TRUE! I WILL MAKE YOU DIE THE DEATH OF DEATH OF MURDER! YOU WILL PAY FOR KLING DEMOS BY COMING AN DE – and an crowbar grenade landed in the cyberdemons mouth, and it was deaded.
John Stalvern looked around, but saw no thing, and no one, and was scarred, because scars are cool, and chicks dig them.
WHO DID THAT! Said John Stalvern.
I DID! Said a voice in the dark.
John Stalvern tried to see who or what or when was talking, but could not, so he gave up, and became blind.
A figure walked out of the dark.
I AM JOHN FREEMAN! Said John Freeman.
HAVE YOU COME TO KILL ME? John Stalvern said.
NO JOHN STALVERN! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU!
WHY? John Stalvern said.
BECAUSE ONLY YOU CAN HELP US SAVE REALTY! John Freeman shouted.
END OF PART ONE!
BEGNINNING OF CART 2: CART 2
NO JOHN STALVERN! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU!
WHY? John Stalvern said.
BECAUSE ONLY YOU CAN HELP US SAVE REALTY! John Freeman shouted.
HOW DO I DO THAT? John Stalvern said.
I WILL SHOW YOU! Said John Freeman, and he took a portal gun, and shot it, and made a portal, and shot it again, and made a portal inside the portal.
YOU MUST BE CAREFUL WHEN YUO DO THIS, OR YOU WILL BE TRAPPED FOREVER! John Freeman csaid, and they both went through the portal, and they were careful, or they would have been trapped forever.
After taking five minutes to go 53 million light years, they arrived in the good guy base.
WHERE ARE WE? John Freeman said.
WE ARE IN THE GOOD GUY BASE WHERE THE GOOD GUYS HAVE THEIR BASE! John Stalvern said. I WILL SHOW YOU AROUND! And John Freeman showed John Stalvern the Good Guy Base, and it was awesome, because there guns, and a pizzeria, and guns, and water slide, and a waterslide made out pizzas that shoot guns!
IM BATMAN! Batman said.
IM JOHN FREEMAN! John Stalvern said.
YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHY YOU BROUGHT WERE HERE. TWO YEARS AGO, IN 1992, I FIGHT PENGIN AND CATWOMAN. I KILL PENGIN AND MAKE FRIENDS SEX STUFF WITH CATWOMAN. BIG FIGHT HAPPEN AT ARTIC ZOO PLACE. PENGINS SHOOT ROCKETS FROM HEADS. THERE EVIL BUSINESSMAN NAME MAX SHREK FIGHT CATWOMAN. SHE KILL HIM WITH LIP LIGHTNING! Batman say.
BUT IT WAS OTHER WAY ROUND! WHEN NOT LOOKING, SHREK CHANGE PLACES WITH CATWOMAN! Batman whispered.
THEN FIVE YEARS LATER I HAVE SHREK WITH SEX! I DID MEAN'NT IT! I THOUGHT WITH CATWOMAN! BUT WAS ACTUALLY SHREK! THEN ROBIN KILL SHREK! Batman shouted.
AND THEN ROBIN LEAVE FOREVER! NOW MUST KILL SHREK, BEFORE HE TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSITY!
BAGMADINOFF PART 3: THEY IF ATTACKED!
JOHN FREEMAN SAVE JOHN STALVERN! Morgan Freeman shouted.
BATMAN THINK HAVE SEX WITH CATWOMAN, BUT ACTUALLY IS SHREK! Morgan Freeman shouted.
NOW THEY BE ATTACKED BY ZOMBIE GOAST JOKER! Morgan Freeman whispered.
AND THAT IS WHY CALLED YOU HERE I DID! Batman said.
SHREK TRYING TO TAKE OVER UNIVERSITY! AND WHEN SHREK DONE WITH UNIVERSITY, SHREK MOVE ON TOO REST OF MULTIVERSE! AND THEN ALL REALTY WILL BE SHREK! Batman said.
SHREK AND THE COMBINES MUST BE STOPPED ONCE AND FORREST OF TIME!
THEN THEY WAS ATTACKED BY ZOMBIE GOAST JOKER! Morgan Freeman whispered.
I CAN HANDLE THIS! BATMAN KILL JOKER BEFORE, BATMAN KIL JOKER AGAIN! Batman shouted.
BUT NOW I AM ZOMBIE GOAST BATMAN! NOW I CAN'T BE STOPPED! Joker said, and Joker shot a zombie goast cannon at Batman's face, and Batman was dead.
HAHAHAHA! BATMAN ALYAWS WALK AROUND WITH HOLE IN MASK, EASY TO TARGET! NOT WHY SURE WHY NOT THINK OF IT WHEN I WAS ALIVE! VERY FUNNY! HAHAAHAHAHA! Joker cackled.
NOOOOOOO! JOHN FREEMAN SAID! BATMAN WAS LIKE BRO TO ME! John Freeman said. JOKER, YOU WILL SUFFAR!
And John Freeman shotted Zombie Goast Joker in the face, but Zombie Goast Joker was Zombie Goast, so was not hurt.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JOHN FREEMAN YOU CANNOT HURT ME! COMBINES WILL RULE REALTY! Joker cackled.
And Joker through marbles, and the room explod. John Freeman and John Stalvern was sucked into space like flying turtle. John Freeman had idea.
JOHN STALVERN! JOHN FREEMAN AND JOHN STALVERN MUST BREATHE HEAVY! IN SPACE, NOT MUCH AIR! MUST BREATHE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! John Freeman said.
GOD IDEA! John Stalvern shouted.
So they breath heavy, until they was pick up by passing ship. It look empty, but John Freeman knew it was Batamn's BATUFO. So tehy gotted insid and was shocked to see Batmna.
BATBRO! ALIVE! John Freeman and John Stalvern shouted simutayneuslee.
NO! Batman said. IS ACTUALLY THE MASTER! And the Master ripped off Bsatman's mask, and through it at airlok buttan, and they was sucked outside.
They went flying towards teh sun, and they began to feel hot, because sun is star, and star is hot.
They went on fire, and John Freeman knew they had one chance only.
WE MUST BLOW THE SUN! John Freeman shouted.
So John Freeman and John Stalvern shot at sun with rackets and the rocket missiles, but was no good, because sun was too big.
John Stalvern had idea – In order to fight sun, one must be sun! So John Stalvern became sun, and punched other sun, and the sun blew up! But this made John Stalvern tired, so he became humen again.
John Freeman and John Stalvern thoghted they was safe, but they was wrong… SUn had became black hole!
END OF PART 4!
BEGNINNG of PART 5: THEY IF SUCKED N BY HOLE BUT RESCUED!
They thoghted they was safe, but they was wrong… Sun had became white hole, which is like black hole, but more racist!
John Freeman and John Stalvern were about to get sucked into the hole when they was resuced by hands from a space ship.
COME WITH ME! Said femal voce from insid.
IT WAS SARAH PLAIN AND TALL! Morgan Freeman said.
SAFED YOU! NOW GUESS THE NAME OF MY DOG! Srah Plain and Tall said.
IS IT GUESS? John Stalvern asked.
NO, IT SCOOBH DOO! Sarah Plain and Tall said. COME MEET CAPTAIN OF SHIP!
The three of them walked to cockpit of Mary Celeste, where they saw two cats, one Garfield, the other a Nic Cage Cat.
THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! Nic Cage Cat said.
HI, I'M GARFIELD. THIS IS MY SHIP, THE MARY CELESTE. NOW, IF YOU COULD HAND ME THAT LASAGNA… and he pointed at a lasagna.
YOU SOUND LIKE PETER VENKMAN! John Stalvern said, and he through the lasanga and Garfield.
As pan slid from face, Garfield said, "AND YOU SOUND LIKE CHUCK CHUCK MCBUCKBUCK."
THANK YOU, John Freeman said.
BUT YOU'IS SUPPOSED TO BE STARCHILD, John Freeman said.
YES, BUT AUTHOR OF "ALONG CAME A SPLUT" THOUGHT BAD AND DELETED, Garfield siged. IS SAD. NOW AM TRAPPED IN LIMBO BECAUSE AUTHOR DESTROYED MY TIMELINE. EXIST ONLY THREW MEMORI OR OTHERS.
NEED YOU HELP TO SAVE MY SOUL! Garfield said.
END OF PART 5
BEgININNG OF PART 6: THE PMBUSH
NEED YOU HELP TO SAVE SOUL! Garfield said.
Then pie hit shield.
OH NO, IS SLUTS! Garfield yelled, ad pulled left.
More spluts hit ship, even though Garfield try really hard not to let spluts hit ship.
WHY SO MANY SPLUTS? John Freeman asked.
EVERYTHIME FANFIC WRITER THINK HE CAN RE-WRITE STORY, CREATES AnOTHER GARFIELD AN OTHER SPUT. Garfield grows owl
WHERE OTHER GARFIELDS? John Stalvern asked.
SUTS EAT THEM ALIVE! I AM LAST GARFIELD! Garfield said.
TOO VIOLENT! Concern mom say.
SUTS HIT THEM IN FACE! SEND THEM TO NEXT DIMENSION! Garfield say.
SPUT BROKE HOLE IN REAR! IN VASION ROMM! Sarah Plain and Tall yell.
STOP THE THE SPLUTS! Garfiell yell, ad John Stalvern and John Freeman move to stop them.
HAHAHA, BROKE HOLE IN REAR! THAT'S FUNNY! Sarah Plain and Tall say.
NOT FUNNY IF SPLUTS GET US! Garfield say.
SPUTS GONE! John Stalvern say.
THROUGH FAT MAN T THEM. THEY FLEY! John Freeman said.
WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEM, Morgan Freeman say.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! THOUGHT COULD SECAPE JOKER? Joker fire zombie goast cannon at Mary Celeste. It hit her on butt.
JOKER YOU ARE PERVERT! And Mary Celeste slap him into nextby sun.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Joker die laffing.
END OF PART 6
BEGNININING OF PART 7: JOKER STILL ALIVE
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Joker die laffing.
JOKER DEAD NOW! Morgan Freeman say.
END OF PART 7
BEGINNING OF PART 9: TRAPPED ON RHE SHREK STAR
They was caught in big tractor beam, and big tractor pull them into Shrek Star.
WE IS TRAPPED! Say John Stalvern.
ISS ALL YOUR FAULT say Garfield.
SHUSH, John Freeman say. NEED TIME THINK.
John Freeman began to mediate, rising from floor in lettuce position.
Meenwile, Emperor Shrek felt there presence.
ALL GOING ACCORDING PLANE, say Shrek. SOON WILL CONQUER TJE GALAXIE.
One of Shrek servant come. WHAY IS YOUR BIDET, MY MASETR?
KILL SARAH PLAIN AND TALL. KILL GRAFIELD. KILL JOHN STALVERN. KILL JOHN FREEMAN!
END OF PART 9:
BEGNNIHFOG PART 10: THEY ALL GET KILLED!
Doctor Dom was trying build teleportal, but was distarted from large booms outside Castel Doom.
PERRE ELLIOTT TRUDO! YUO WIL ROO THE DAT YOU TRIFLED WITH DOCOTOR DOOM!
But Trudo herd it and smash wall through Castle Doom.
NO! CANNOT DO THIS! Doom lamancha.
JUSS WATECH ME! Trudo say.
And Trudo strangle Dom to death.
END OF PART 10:
BEGGING OF PART 11: TRUDO KILLS DR. DOM!
All of Combines and Emonds and Zombie Goasts and Spluts gaher in hanger bay.
FIRE! Shrek say.
All people fire. Everyone inside Mary Celester dead.
MWAHAHAHA! Say Shrek.
END OF PART 12
BEGININIG OF PART 13: THEY NOT REALLY DEAD!
WE ARE DEAD! John Stalvern say.
OH NO! Say Sraha Plain and Tall.
WE ARE NOT DEAD! John Freeman sayt. WHEN MEDIATING GOR IT CONTANCT DITH WITH EHT SPIRIT OWRLD. SOFMUND SOMEONE TO HELP!
AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU EXPECT HEPL FROM THE JOKER? Joker say.
ARE WE GOING HAVE TO FIGHT YOU AGAIN? Garfield say.
WHY FIGHT PERSON WHO SAVE YOU? Joker ask.
NEED YOUR HELP, JOCKER! John Freeman say.
BUT IN HEAVEN! WHY CARE! Joker say. ALL BEST COMEDAINS HERE! CAN SHARE MATERILAR!
IF SHERK WIN THEN ALL EVERYTHING EVETYHRIN BECOME SHREK! REALTY IN DANGER! John Freeman say.
THAT NOT FUNYY! ALL SHREK JOKES ARE ABOUT HAVING OGRE SEX! ALL STORIES SAME! Joker yells.
Joker think to himself.
WILL HELP YO! Joker say, and extend plam in freidnship.
NOT FALLING FOR TJHAT, John Freeman say.
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Joker laugh.
END OF PART 13: THEY'RE BACK!
AT LEAST GO WITH HONOR! Dinobot say.
FINISH IT, Shrek say.
All combines and zombie goasts and edmons sand sputs fire rackets and masheen guns and bear hands at Dibot and Tom Sawyer and Benji infront of Mary Celeste.
But then shots fire out of off screen and desroy all rackets and missles.
Combines gasp! Zombie goasts gasp! Demons gsap! Shrek fasp!
Smoke clwars in front of Mary Celests.
LOOK WHOSE BACK AND TIME! John Feeman say.
Shrek schoed. DESTROTY THEM!
But John Freemn and Jon Stalvern and Garfield and Srahh Plain and Tall and Joker and Dinogt and Tom Sagwmer and Benji all shoot first, and gthey kill Combines and Demons and Zombie goasts and hurt Shrek.
AHHHHHHHHHH Shrek say as right arm fall off.
They make way throghu Hanger Bay towards Shrek, who flee through dooway
.
Joker say, JOIN ME ZOMBIE GOASTS! WILL TAKE WHA OUTRS VVAKC!
But Joker grab by Zombie Goast Ridley and scapred alongwll like Pikachiu.
WHERE GARFIELD! Srah Palin and Tall say.
WENT THAT WAY! Say helpful Demon.
THANK OYU! Sarah Plain and Tall say, and slice helpful demon in two with chainsaw, before running down omnious hallway.
WHERE SHE GO! John Stslvern say.
NO TImE MUST STOP SHREK! John Freeman say.
STOP VIOLENCE ! Conrecm mom say.
John Freeman shotted concrem mom in face.
GOOD SHOOT! Say Joker.
THAT HORRIBLE, Say zombie goast concern mom.
YOU NOT EVEN REAL CONCERN MOM! John Stalvern say, and rip concern mom face off. Was actually the Master!
WHY HERE? THE DOCTOR NOT IN THIS STORY! John Freeman say.
OH, The Master say, embossed. The Master left, and the gang went to fight Sherk.
END OF Part 13:
Beginning of Part 14: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The gang went to fight Shrek, but when they went to next room, they was attacked bye Godzilla!
SKREEEEEOOONNNNNNK! Godzilla say.
ALMOST STEP ON ME! John Stalvern say and he plasemaed and Godzilla shoot fire at him, and John Stalvern catch on fire and say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
But Godzilla step on Cyberdemon, so everything ok.
But then Cyberdemon bigger then Godzilla step on Gofzilla, so not ok.
NOOOO! Say sad kid who like Godzilla.
JUST FIKSHUNALL CHARACTER, say mom who naaot care much.
IT OK, HE BE BACNK IN NEX MOVIE, dad who know what say say.
JOHN STALVERN! TIME TO EMBRAYS YOU'R TRUE NATURE! The big Cyberdemon (who look like Will. Defoe) said.
WHAT YOU MEAN? John Stalvern ask.
NO! DO NOT LISTEN TO CYBERDEMON WHO LOOK LIKE WILL. DAFOE! John Freeman shout.
JOHN, YOU ARE THE –
And the Cyberdemon was shotted by Joker flying Ridley hile leading army of Zombie Goasts.
I'VE FINISHED MT NAP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Joker say.
END OF PART 14: TH FINAL BATTLE
Joker was flying Ridley around and leading army of Zombie Goasts, fighting Combines and Demons and nuns, but hten problem came when true nature of Shrek Staqr revealed… Inside Shrek Star was ship from Tiatan A.E.!
WHOSE YOUR DAFFY! JOKER YOUR DADFY! Joker say and laugh like mad.
Then Shrek use ship from Titan ae to absorb all energy from Zombie Goasts like in Titan A.E. and they zombers were dead. Even Joker and Ridley.
OH NO! Said John Freeman.
NO! Say John Stalvern.
The Combines and the Demons srruonded them like rabiits in a turnip.
But then big hole happen in wall, and army of humens run in with lasar guns and missile lasars and lasar machine guns and granaisd and flying sharks!
DAD! President Henry Freeman say.
SON! Say John Freeman.
And they ran and they hugged.
THOUGH WAS DEAD! Prseidnt Henry Freeman say.
NO SON. WAS TELEPORTALED INTO OUTER SPACE AND SAVED BY BATMAN! John Freeman say.
And they hugged.
GOOD SEE YOU, SON. John Freeman say.
GOOD SEE YOU DAD. Hnery Freeman say.
MUST GO NOW SON. MUST STOP SHERK. John Freeman say sadlike.
And John Freeman let go, and backflipped into the air, ripping head off flying demon and flying it like hang glider.
John Stalvern saw and ripped off face off of flying bulb one etye demon, then rip out brain, carve hole in skull with fists, and fly it like trouble bubble.
Shrek saw this and pioured giant vat of magic bubblehy potion, which hit humens and demons and combines and turned them into Shrekmorphs! But Dinobot hit it with laser eyes and destroys the likid.
GOOD SHOOT! Say John Stalvern. John Stalvern knew he had to fight Shrek, because John Stalvern was underdog of story and needed to become an hembrol. John Freeman new had fight Shrek to save realty.
Neither would let realty down.
Meenwhule Hnery Feeman and the humens were shoosting the combines with the demons and the combines that had been killed and resurdted be yhe toion.
Voice came over intercom. UNLEASH MECHA DONKEY! Shrek say.
And the Combines unleashed the Mecha Donkye, who was life Donkey but giant and robot and gatling guns for legs.
And the Mecha Donkye fired on the humend with the rocket missiles and ate theor corpses.
RETREAT! Say Human General.
NO! WE FIGHT! Say Henry Freeman.
Human general try to run away , but steeped on by Mecha Donekey.
WE FIGHT! Say humens, and they punch and kick and shoot and lick Mecha Donkey to death and the humens cheered but then attacked by waffles.
Meanwhile Sarah Plain and Tall mfind Garfeidl.
LOOK EVERYWHERE BUT NO FIND YOU! Sarah Plain and Tall say.
HAVE PLAN! Say Garfield. WILL BE TRICKEY, BUT CAN DO IT! And they ran down hallway towards command center.
Menawhile Jogn Stalvern and John Freeman are on train inside Shrek Star.
OH NO! IS GENERAL GRIEVOUS! Say Jogn Gfreeman.
AHAHAHAHA! WILL ADD YOUR LIGHTSABERS TO COLLECTION! Greivous say.
NO HAVE LIGHTSABERS! Jogn Stalvern say. BUT SHERK DO!
General Grivoues think for minute. OK ON YOUR SIDE NOW! And they all shook hands.
So they went to door and was surpised to see no-noes kid with bloody hoodie and doumb nife.
OH NO! IS JEFF THE KILLER! Say John Freeman.
IS JUST KID! WILL KILL! Greovous say.
But because in all Jeff stories Jeff ave ridiculous powers make no sense Jeff picked oup Gweneral Grivoes by legs, spin around and throw hrough scieling.
OH SHIT! Say John Stalvenr.
So John Stalvern and John Freeman shoot masheen guns at Jeff, but Jeff blucok them with nifge.
GO TO SLEEP! Jeff say.
But John Freeman and John Stalvern did not listen, and fired rackets instedd.
Meanwhil. Sarah Plain and Tall find Garfeidl.
WHAT DOING! Sarah Plain and Tall say.
LOOK AT THIS! Say Garfeild. Garfield shpw off gear.
THIS IS T-COG! MAKES TRANSFORMERS TRANSFORM! STOLE THIS FROM HERE WHEN HEAR YEARS AGO! Garfield say. NOW HAVE PLAN!
WHAT PLAN?! Sarah Palin and Tall say.
WAIT AND SEE! Garfeidld say, and he fiddle with computer.
END OF PART 15
BEGINNING OF PART 16: FINALD PART OF FIANL BATTLE
John Freeman snad John Stalvern fire atomic bombs at Jeff the Killer, but Jeff block them with nife.
SOON WIILL GO TO SLEEP! Jeff say and laff.
SHUT UP! Say John Stalvern, and he punch Jeff head off.
And fish face fall off Jeff while head roll on ground.
John Freeman looks in for closer look.
OH NO! John Freeman say.
WHAT WRONG! John Stalvern say.
John Freeman turn away snd keep looking down hallwsy to fight Shrek.
John Stalvern walk up and see face underneath Jeff fish face.
OH… John Stavlern say sadlike. IS ROBIN….
He put figners aon eyelids and locse them.
WAIT FOR ME! John Stalvern say, and run after John Streeman.
Outside, people outside Shrek Star could see Shrek Start transforme like Transformer. Change into shape that is not Shrek…
Meanwhile, insid, Aragorn go to place with dead warriors.
MUST FIGHT FOR HENRY FREEMAN! MUST HONOR DEBT YOU ACCEPT BUT NOVER HONOR!
FINE. WILL LEAD DAED ARMY AGAIN, Joker say.
NO! NOT THIS TIME! Say man in dark.
Meanwhile Henry Freeman lead fight against Combines and Demons, but Human numbers get smaller as Demons kill and turn them into zombies.
THIS MIGHT BE END BOYS. HOPE DAD CAN DO WHAT NEED DO. Henry Freeman say, tired and depessed.
NO! HENRY FREEMAN, DO NOT GIVE UP! MUST HAVE POSITIVE WAVES! Oddball say.
NOT MUCH CHANCE LEFT, Say Henry Freeman.
NO, MR. PRESIDENT. MUST REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY NAME! MUST LIVE UP TO FULL-LIFE CONSEQUENCES! Oddball say, and point at big demon, before leading charge in tank.
Henry Feeman thought to himself. He did no family name, and he had lived up to Full Life Consequences before. But now, with millions of Combines and Demons attacking, and only ten thousand – make that seven thousand humens left. But then saw giant demon step on tank with Oddball in it.
NOOO! Hnery Freeman say, and knew what do.
Henry Freeman rip off suit and tie, and expose massive muscles. Put on red headband and started making flaming bow and arrow, like in Rocky.
Then he yell, ADRIAAAAAAAAAAAAN! And attack demons.
Meanwhule, Garfield working at computers. ALMOST DONE! He say, while Sarah Plain and Tall fire at demons with masheen guns and palsma rifles taped together to flamethrowers and bazookas like in Aliens.
Meenwhile, Hnery Freeman cut off giant demon head with sword big like dinosaur.
But then Robo-Hilters from Wolfenstein and The Asylum fire weapons at him, and he is hit, and he explodes, but when explodes he explodes the Hitlers.
THAT NO MAKE SENSE! Say pieces of Wolfenstein Hitler.
DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SCIENCE! Say Morgan Freeman.
Flaming Asylum Hitler land on top of Demon portal, and make make it explod!
Meewnhile, John Stalvern and John Freeman and General Grievous found Mario Karts and were riding aound in ship from Titan AE, then stop when see little bottles.
IS DNA! Say John Stalvern.
BUT WHAT IS GREEN GOING INSID? Say John fReeman. Then he real eyes. NO! IS OGRE BLODD!
Girvous slash tubes tht go insid tinny bottles.
Shek look at them from secutity camera.
NO! WILL NOT LET STOP PLANS TO TAKE REALTY!
And he sent minions to stop them.
John Stalvern John Freeman and General Grivous find long road inside ship.
SHOULD NOT BE HERE! Say General Grivous.
WHAT IS? Say John Freeman.
IS PODRACE TRACK FROM TATTOOEEN! Griovous say.
Thne Shrek minions come up.
WE WILL BEAT YOU IN RACE! Say Dick Dastardly, and Muttley laff.
WILL THROW ROCK! Say Killer Croc.
COMMANDO ELIET WILL DESTROY GORGONITES! Say Chip Hazard.
ENOUGH! Say John Freeman. YOU ALL PAYED BY SHEK TO KILL US IN RACE! NLY TWO OF YOU NO HOW! BUNCH OF YOU IS TORYS! THIS MAKE NO SENSE!
All minions look perpexled.
SERHK WANT TO REPLACE REALTY WITH SHERK! Say John Stalvern.
Minions look Grivous.
IS TRUE! HAVE SEEN IT! Grivous say.
Minions think.
WILL THROW ROCK AT SHREK! Say Killer Croc. And everybody chered.
Meenwhule Srah Plain and Tall fight evil twin, Susan Hot and Short in sweord battle.
ALMOST DONE! Sat Garfield.
Meenwhil,e Shrek angry.
BULLSHIT! ALL PLANS ARE BULLSHIT, MUST GO KILL! Say Shrek, and explode out of Christopher Walekn body in ogre body.
END OF PART 16
BEGGININNG OF PART 17: THEY FIGHT SHREK
Shrek ride in cable car real fast, going down cable faster that normal. He would kill John Freeman and John Stalvern and General Grivoues, and Daick Dastardly anD Muttley and Killer Croc and the Commandeo Aeliet.
Shrek leap from cable car onto platform before it crash in wall.
WILL KILL JOHN FREEMAN! He shouted. WILL KILL ALL!
WOULD HAVE BLESSED ALL WITH BEING PART OF SHREK! BUT HAD TO RESIST! NOW SHREK WILL KILL ALL THAT IS NOT SHERK! He scream.
Room is dark, and Shrek no see no one. Shrek slammed foot on ground, but no one do nothing. Shrek angry, but smile when think what do nex.
WILL START WITH WOMEN. WILL KILL YOUR SISTER, JOHN STLAVERN. And smile gew bigger.
NOOOO! John Stalvern say, and rush out form doarkness, trying hit Shrek with lightsaber.
John Freeman sig and slap face. JOHN STALVERN YOU NO HAVE SISTER, he whisper.
But John Stalvern actually manage to beat back Shrek to lefdge. Because this like Return of Jedi, he tried to cut off Shrek right arm. But Shrek right arm already gone, so Shrek punch him in head, and make him go flying.
Shrek begin to bleed heavy from many wounds. Then spirit ascend from within Shrek… Was Skip Westcott!
YOU USELESS TO ME SHREK! YOU DIE TO EASY! Skip Westcott say. AND NOW END WILL COME! And he electrocute John Stalvern and he scream.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FATHER DEAD, JOHN STALVERN… CANNOT SAVE YOU! And Skip Westcott laugh.
FRIENDS WILL SAVE ME! Say John Stalvern and he scream.
THAT YOUR WEAKNESS! Say Skip Westcott.
Commando Elite attack Skip, and hurt Skip, but he electrocute them easy, and use the force to therow them off platform.
Genral Grievous attack next, swionging lightsabers, leviyaying and using his feet too! But Skip Westcott was spirit, so blades went torouh him! And he grabbed Grievous head in hands, even though Grievous try to push, and crush his head, and Greuvous scream and die.
Skip Westcott laugh as throwaway Grievous body. Truened back to John Stalvern, who shot palsma rifle in Skip Westcott face, which hurt him and mess up his face and he scream, and then he shoot lightning at plasma rifle and make it blow up.
WHO COME NEXT! Say Skip Westcott.
John Freeman come and throw crowbar granaid at Skip Westcott, but Skip Westcott was not deaded. Skip Westcott grab John Freeman with the force and swing him and hit him on walls.
YOU WEAKEST ONE OF ALL! NOTHING WITHOUT YOUR TOY! Skip Westcott say. ANY LAST WORDS?
YEAH… CAN KISS MY AXE! Say John Freeman, and he pull out axe and throw it at Skip Westcott face. Skip Westcott scream and drop John Freeman.
NOW! Say John Freeman, and Shrek grab Skip Westcott and hold him still, so Killer Croc through a rock at him!
Skip Westcott fell off platform, screaming, and fall and fall and fall. Everyone cheer. But then hey hear laughing, and Skyp Westcott came back up on platform!
YOU THINK CAN KILL ME WITH ROCK? AM SPIRIT! AND ALREADY DEAD! AM EVIL IN CAR, MATE! CANNOT DIE, EVER! Skip Westcott say, and he laugh and electrocute people.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Laugh Skip Westcott.
YOU! Say voice from offscreen.
Skip Westcott stop laughing and turn around. He see small form of cat.
WHAT THINK YOU CAN DO? Skip Westcott say.
I AM SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE, Nic Cage Cat say, and his skill turn fire.
WHAT? Say Skip Westcott.
YOUR SOUL WILL BURN. Say Nic Cage Cat, and use pencnace stare on Skip Westcott.
NOOOOOOOO! Say Skip Westcott, as soul is inceinerated and sent to hell.
People breath sig of relief and rest from attack. But then Titan AE ship start to shake!
Dick Dasdtadrly and Muttey pop up in mortorcycle. MUST GO NOW! He say.
John Freeman rush to pick up John Stalvern.
COME ON BRO! MUST GO! John Freeman say.
Killer Croc pick up General Grivous.
WHY TAKE HIM? Say Dick Dasradflty. IS JUST DROID!
EXACTLY! Say Killer Croc. CAN REBUILD HIM!
All was in mortarcycle, and Nic Cage Cat leap in driver seat.
WAIT! MUST HELP SHREK! John Freeman say.
HURRY UP! Say Muttley.
AND JOHN FREEMAN RACE SAVE SHREK! Say Morgan Freeman.
MUST GO, SHREK! John Freeman say.
NO! HAVE DONE MANY BAD THINGS… BEEN BAD! Sherk day.
NOT FAULT! IS SKIP WESTCOTT DID THOSE THINGS! Say John Freeman.
DEAD ALREADY. LET ME GO. GET MEET CHRIS FARLEY NOW. Shrek say.
John Freeman did not want go.
GO NOW JOHN FREEMAN! Shrek yell, and John Freeman run, and Shrek smile before flaming roof fall on him.
John Freeman run to motorcycle, but then ceiling fall, and John Freeman trapped, and not able to escape!
NOOO! Say John Stalvern.
IT TOO LATE! HE IS GONE! Say Dick Dastardly. And Nic Cage Cat drive mortorcycle away to escepa.
END OF PART 17
BEGINNING PART 18: THE ESCAPE
SHREK WAS POSEESSED BY SKIP WESTCOTT! GOOD GUYS AND BAD GUYS UNITE TO KILL SKIP WESTCOTT! BUT JOHN FREEMAN SAPARATED FROM GROUP AND LEFT BEHIND! CAN GOOD GUYS ESCAPE SHREK STAR? Morgan Freeman shout.
MUST ESCAPE! NOT MUCH TIME! Say Killer Croc.
WORKING ON IT! Say Nic Cage cat.
As group race across TATTOEEN, rcosk and stalagmites fall on them, but they too fast, so they not hurt!
Meanwhile, humens have beaten Combines and Demons and Shrekmorphs!
WE DID IT! Say Humens.
BUT MANY DEAD! Say other humens.
IS OK! MAYBE COME BASCK TO LIFE IN NEXT STORY! Say Humens.
YAAAYY! Say other humens.
Shrek Star begin shaking, and this scare all humens.
MUST GET OUT! Say humens, and they run to hole, but they walked to Shrk Star, so had no ship to escape in!
WE GOING TO DIE! Sat humesn, and they scream!
NO! WILL SAVE YOU! Say Garfield, as he fly Mary Celeste in front of hole. Humens walk quickly to Mary Celeste to escape, and Mary Celeste get very full!
NO ONE ELSE LEFT! ALL OTHERS DEAD! Say Walter Hobbbs, new leader of humens.
Garfield wanted wait, but Srah Plain and Tall say, NO TIME! MUST GO, OR EVERYONE DIE!
So Garfield had fly ship away from Shrek Star, and was sad because leave friends behind.
Garfield and Sarah Plain and Tall shed a tear as they flew away, until one of humens said LOOK!
And they looked and saw mortorcucle flying out of still-changing Shrek Star! Garfield hard-turned Mary Celeste to pick up mortorcylce, and they landed insid!
Everyone cheer! Everyone get together and talk about battle, but one concversation was impotent.
SO, WHERE THINK SPLUTS GO? Say Benji.
DON'T KNOW, Say Dinobot. HOPEFULLY THEY NEVER COME BACK!
But then they come back! Billions of sputs, all ready to kill the muhens!
FUCK! Say Benji.
IS OK! Say Garfield, and he trun on the stealhtc cloak. PRESS RED BUTTON, SARAH PLAIN AND TALL!
And Sarah Plain and Tall press red button, and lights on Shrek Star turn on, but was not look like Shrek… Look like Garfield!
And all the spults charge at Shrek Star, and they all hit it, and it explode!
And the humens cheer and celebrate! But not all was whale! Piece of shrek star hit Mary Celeste, and turn off clock!
Now sputls could see Mary Celeste, and they all flew at it!
WE IS DONE FOR! Say Dick Dastardly.
WAS GLORIOUS BATTLE! Say Dinobot.
SARAH PLAIN AND TALL… IF NOW LAST CHANCE SAY IT… Say Garfield. WILL YOU MARRY ME!
YES! Say Sarah Plain and Tall, and they kiss!
But then come glorious sounds…
DEAD MEN! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Say dark figure.
AND THE ARMY OF DEAD GUYS FLEW AT THE SPLITS, AND HIT THEM AND KICKED THEM AND LSICED THE AND ATE TJEM! Say Morgan Freeman.
SOON ALL SPLUTS WERE GONE! Morgan Freeman say.
FINALLY SAFE! Say Garfield as everyone on ship cheer.
IS OVER… Say John Stalvern, and he wish that John Freeman, his bro, had survived see this. But John Freeman was dead, killed by roof falling on him.
BUT WAS NOT OVER YET! Say Morgan Freeman, as he paint on floor.
END OF PART 18
BEGNINGO OF PART 19: EPIC LOG
Morgan Freeman had painted circley thing with three dots on floor insid the Mary Seleste. In circle were gather Garfield, Sarah Plain and Tall, John Stalvern, Nic Cage Cat, and people not impotent enough to have names.
YOU NITTY! DO TEA! DETH'S TINNY! Morgan fReeman say, and put one John Freemans hats on big dot.
But nothing happen, because ending Bionicle Mask of Light make no sense.
But then someone come down stairs! Everyone look shock because make no snes, and direcor say differen acor!
GARFIELD, Lyman say. WHAT HAPPEN ODIE?
END OF CART 19
EDN FO SORTY