A/N: 4x19 was such a great ep with a lot of Liz/Ressler so I wanted to write a short little one-shot following the events of Ressler at Hitchin's house. All (of the many) mistakes are mine, and I own nothing.
Her eyes followed him as he was led into the car by the agent, feeling her heart sink somewhat as she stood under the doorframe of the front door.
Despite the fact that she knew it was protocol, there was still a part of Liz that made her want to go out there and stop that car, tell them it wasn't his fault, tell them that he's been through enough already and he doesn't deserve any other bad luck.
It wasn't his fault. He's the victim.
She turned around and spotted Laurel Hitchin across the room, talking with some other agents and felt her face grow red and palms clench instinctively, not completely recovered from their heated exchange that had transpired moments earlier.
Damn that woman. She's gonna pay for what she did to all of us. To Reven.
To Ressler.
She turned back to face the SUVs parked in the driveway and watched as the car Ressler was in reverse and begin to drive away, biting her lip subconsciously.
"We'll clear him, don't worry." The voice and sudden presence of Samar next to her made Liz jump a little, jolting her out of her thoughts.
"Yeah." she agreed, still not meeting Samar's gaze and continuing to stare out at the road that led away from Hitchen's estate, watching the faint blue and red lights fade as the cars drove further and further away.
"You did good today, Liz." Samar continued, stepping closer to Liz. "What happened with Ressler, there was only so much we could do. Don't blame yourself too much. We're going to exonerate him."
Liz shook her head regretfully, finally letting the emotions and confusion that had plagued her the entire day surface. "I meant what I said back there. Ressler's a good guy. He always has been, always will be. But this fight he's facing, what he's getting himself into… it's dangerous. What happened today was evidence of that."
She finally brought herself to turn and face Samar, her eyes glassy with the hint of tears. "He could have really put himself in even bigger danger. He could have died." She couldn't help but choke up at the last bit, shutting her eyes.
Samar's gaze softened slightly and she tilted her head in understanding, giving Liz a gentle touch on the shoulder. "But he didn't. He won't. What, you think Agent Donald Ressler gives up that easily?"
Liz gave something in between a laugh and a scoff and forced a weak smile in response. "Thank you, Samar, I appreciate it. I just… want to be there for him when he needs it."
Samar gave the smallest hint of a smile. "You will be. This isn't just his fight, Liz, it's all of ours. Whether it involves Kaplan, or Gale or Hitchen, we're going to take them down, every last one of them. All of us."
She turned around and walked back into the house, leaving Liz alone again, only this time with Samar's words resonating in her head.
Liz groaned, shutting the office door firmly behind her and threw the case file she had been holding on her desk.
She had just finished interrogating Krilov (with little to no success, with the exception of learning of yet another potential secret that Reddington had kept from her. She was certainly going to ask him about that later) and was in no mood to complete the paperwork she was required to fill out.
Sitting down at her desk Liz put her head in her hands and exhaled deeply, her mind wandering back to Ressler and the day's events making her feel even more confused and frustrated.
Is it all connected to Kaplan? Why did she target Ressler first?
Is it all my fault? Am I the reason why Ressler and Samar and Aram and Cooper are now tied into this mess?
Is it all because of Reddington?
Of course it is. Liz smirked bitterly to herself, somewhat happy to get at least one definite answer tonight. The feeling didn't last long, however as her mind drifted back to watching Ressler and Hitchen, and just how bad things could have gone if she hadn't stepped in when she did.
Liz knew how it was to be drugged, she knew the uncertainty and anger and frustration that came along with playing with memories, and she would have never wished it upon anyone to have to experience it.
But it did. It happened to Ressler.
I should've had his back, she scolded herself. I should've been at least one step ahead, like he always has been for me.
What if he's still hurt right now? I still haven't made an effort to check on him since he was arrested.
She felt increasingly worried as each second passed, and ultimately came to the decision that she was going to need to talk to him.
I need to hear his voice. Just some reassurance, and maybe a chance for me to apologize.
She scrambled through her notepad on her desk until she found the number of the department that was currently holding Ressler in custody. She swiftly dialed the numbers on the phone, put the phone to her ear and tapped her fingers anxiously on the desk.
After a few rings the line picked up but before they could begin Liz had already interjected. "Hi, do you currently have Agent Donald Ressler with you?"
"Who is this?" The voice on the other end sounded exasperated but still alert.
Liz sighed. "His partner, Agent Elizabeth Keen." There was no point lying about it now.
The line was quiet except she could faintly hear voices discreetly discussing something until the agent returned. "Hold on a moment."
"Thank you." Relieved, she leaned her head against the wall.
It was silent for another few seconds or so until she finally heard his familiar voice pick up the phone. "Liz?"
"Ressler. Hey. Are you okay?" She smiled, the sound of his voice calming her down.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Took a bit of convincing to let me on the phone, but I guess at this point they just don't really care anymore. After all, what else am I going to do in this room but sit and answer their questions. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." She couldn't help but grin slightly. He's been through all that and he still asks me if I'm okay. "How are you feeling? Did you get yourself checked out, are you clear?"
There was a pause before he continued. "Things are a little less murky now than they were earlier, I guess that's a good thing. I feel pretty clear-minded. They've got all their doctors down here to check out on me and they said that in a few hours all the side effects should be gone by then."
"Oh, that's good."
"Yeah."
She chewed on her lip. "So… what now?
"What now?" She heard him sigh. "Well, they go through with the investigation, I do whatever they ask and then hopefully by then, it'll be all over. Don't worry too much about me Liz, I know you are. Trust me, I'm fine. How did the interrogation with Krilov go?"
Liz groaned. "Bad. We got, like, nothing out of him." She decided to leave out the part about Krilov and Reddington and the memory incident two years ago; Ressler had enough on his plate already and didn't need to hear about whatever her current problem was. "But we will. We always do."
"You always do, Liz. You're a good agent, there's no doubt in that."
She found herself smiling again briefly at his compliment, but it faded fast once she remembered his condition. "Ressler, look, I'm really sorry about everything today. We should have been one step ahead, and now I'm going to do everything I can to get you out of there―"
"Liz, please. Stop blaming yourself." He interrupted her, his voice softening. "None of this was your fault. These are our jobs, these are our lives. We put ourselves in danger every time we step into the Post Office each day. We've got to learn to accept it. That's just how things are. No regrets, no apologies. This is what I do. I accept that."
Liz sat back in her chair, moved by his words. "A-Alright. I just want you to know that no matter what happens with Hitchin, and the Reven Wright case, just know that I'm here for you." She looked across from her desk to Ressler's empty desk and smiled to herself. "I should have been there for you in the past, but now, I'll be here for you. We're going to take her down. Whether this concerns Kaplan or not, we're going to prove she's guilty. This isn't your fight to face alone."
She felt her eyes water again. "You're my partner, Ressler. You mean the world to me."
And I love you.
The line was silent and so was Liz, surprised at her own words. But she meant it. Donald Ressler was one of the only men in her life that was honest and loyal and good god did she love him for it. She couldn't afford to lose him, she could never afford to lose him.
Then finally, "You mean the world to me too." At this, Liz immediately felt her heartbeat quicken and her cheeks flush.
"So, um, you take care, alright? Sit tight for a little while longer I promise I'll get you out as soon as I can."
He chuckled. "Trust me, I'll be here. Is that why you called, Liz? Because you missed me?"
Liz laughed in spite of herself, finding it odd but calming to be sharing a moment in a situation like the one they were in. "Yes. I miss you, Ressler." Just then she heard more voices on the other end of the line and could hear Ressler exhale tiredly.
"They told me my time's up, this officer's here and he's going to have to ask me more questions. Of course. As if they need any more proof whether I was drugged."
"Okay," she tried to hide her disappointment until suddenly an idea struck her. This is the right thing to do; you're helping him. "You know what? I'm going to talk to Gale tonight."
She could hear the change in tone of his voice. "Really? You're sure, Liz? Earlier you said―"
"No, you're right. I mean, at least he'll finally hear it from you and he'll finally get some closure. At least the task force problem would be taken care of. Okay, um, I really have to go now, Liz, I think they're going to cut me off now, but, uh... thank you."
Liz smiled just as the line clicked dead. "What are partners for?"
She put the phone down, feeling a newfound sense of confidence and motivation. Scrolling through her own phone she found Julian Gale's contact and smirked to herself.
Time to get to work. I'm going to get you out, Ressler. We're going to end this thing.
Together.