Maerad had accepted the fact that she was going to die. As the water devoured her, each tide and rush and pull, each violent new flow or motion of the river, that pulled her down into near oblivion, had made her consider what she would regret in life. Hem's face flashed through her mind, every scowl, every smile, every knowing glance he threw her way. She would regret the limited time spent with her brother, wishing that it could have been a whole lifetime. A real family. She would regret many things. She would regret that she hadn't found the Treesong, and defeated the Nameless for the saving of all the world. They would all have lives like hers had been, now, only there would be no Cadvan for them, no escape, unless a ruthless murder was an escape. She would regret not doing all things done in her unlived life, the life she could have had if only she had survived. She would regret not getting to know the people better whom she had so far met. She would regret never getting to go back to Innail. She would regret how she had delt with Dernhil. She would regret the many wrong and bad things she had done, but would not allow herself to make a list, since there was no time, no time before she would slip away forever. Most of all, she thought, she would regret something to do with Cadvan. What was it? She knew. She would regret never telling him how she really cared for him, never showing him that love. She felt a wave of sorrow and longing as she struggled not to breath in, and then, unconsciousness suddenly swept over her, as if she had been spared the shock of the burning pain of drowning, dying just before he was about to give in. The warm arms of death seemed to lift her up, and then, there was nothing.

Cadvan swam as hard as he could in the gushing currents of the river flow. He had never used his physical strength so in his life. Maerad had to be here, somewhere. He had seen her fall off of Imi, into the river. He had seen her body being spun violently around in some kind of current, her arms flailing wildly above her submersed head. Her head popping up moments later spluttering and gasping for breath and attempting to scream his name. He had never been more terrified in his life when he jumped in after her, and she had disappeared from the surface. The rain didn't help. Finally he saw a figure in the water and he knew it was her, but he had to get to her without the river swallowing him in defiance, he said a quick prayer in his head, to anything that was out there, and that heard him, and that had the power to change this, for her not to drown, for her to be safe, for it to not be too late.

Cadvan struggled to the shore, pulling Maerad's flopping body to a patch of grass, and, hovering over her with tears stinging his eyes, he began to pump his hands on her chest. He covered her mouth with his and blew air, then pumped her chest again. He did this over and over again, never losing hope. He would not let himself believe that she was dead when he had been close, so close. When she might have died two seconds before he got to her. He couldn't bare the thought of her being dead, let alone that it was all because of two seconds. He thought of how much he'd hate himself forever for not being able to cure the loneliness he knew she felt everyday, for not being softer with her, for not being everything she needed, for not telling her and showing her how he really felt, how much he really care and in the many ways that he really cared.

Maerad felt herself become almost aware. Suddenly, nothing became something. Am I dead? She thought. Then she felt something on her mouth, but it was as if her mouth was very far away from wherever she was. All she knew in that moment, was that it felt as if some supernaturally good being was breathing air back into her lungs, and was putting life back into her, bringing her back, her mind, her body, her soul, everything. It also felt as if that supernatural being was kissing her at the same time, kissing her with soft, warm, gentle, firm lips. Lips so pleasant she wondered if she had passed into some kind of higher existence, something better than the life she had just left that she had a hard time remembering at the moment. Like heaven. And then the mouth was gone, and there was a punching, pushing, pressure on her chest, and then she felt the pain, burning cold pain as she coughed up river water, as someone's hands lifted her to a sitting position, and as all memories flooded back to her, and she knew exactly who she was and why she was here.

Relief flooded through Cadvan like nothing he had ever felt before. He had never known that he could feel this relieved about anything, ever. Perhaps because he had never been. But now he was, and Maerad was alive. When he saw her eyes flutter and heard her choking sounds as the water came up from her mouth, he felt like nothing in the world could be more important than what had just happened. He realized that he was crying tears of relief and was glad for the rain.

Maerad looked at Cadvan as she gasped in the limited air of a rainy night. He was crying. She realized. And then she cried, too, throwing her arms around him and squeezing him as tight as her weak arms allowed her. His embrace was unsheltered, and he hugged her back with equal force. They stayed like that for a long time.

Maerad broke the silence, still holding onto him, shivering in the cold. "I th-thought I was going t-to die... I th-thought your ar-arms were t-taking me to th-the Gates, and that y-your mouth was some kind of angel... b-breathing me int-to the afterlife... all I could think w-was... w-what I'd r-regret... H-Hem... the T-Treesong... Innnnnail... y-you... n-never having a family th-that llloves me... that j-just wants me for me and n-nothing e-else...", she cried more and buried her face on his wet shoulder.

"Ssshhhh... now, now, Maerad," Cadvan said softly, stroking her head, "don't speak such nonsense, girl." He continued in the speech. I am your family, Maerad. I do love you for you and I'm sorry that I haven't made myself clear. You are my family. If there was no Treesong, no reason for us to be doing all this, I would still want you with me, because I'm selfish and I want you with me no matter what. I care for you too much, even, and I don't know exactly what it means other than the fact that I'd do anything to keep you with me, terrible, despicable things, Maerad, I would attempt to do impossible things, and I would die if it meant that you could be safe, and happy, and not miserable, like I've let you been for these past months. I'm so sorry. I have loved many people, Maerad, whether family, or friend, or lover, but I know that never have I had the feelings for any of them as I have for you. I didn't know it was possible to care this much. I need you to understand this because if you EVER FALL OFF THAT HORSE AND INTO A RIVER AGAIN, SO HELP ME...

Maerad comprehended all this as he said it in her mind. Each new word brought another wonderful, yet unidentifiable feeling through her chest. Her fingers were numb. But when he was done, and he was holding her even tighter than before, she knew what those feelings were. Cadvan, oh Cadvan, I don't know what my feelings for you mean either, and I've been bitter about that for a long time now, which was unfair to you, you did nothing to deserve that. All I know is I've never felt this strongly for anyone before, and the only people I've ever loved were people who either died when I was too young to understand, or were absent from most of my life. I'd do anything to stay with you, too, and that scares me, because I know that you are right, that there is something in me that is dangerous that even I am unaware of. Something that you have seen, something that others have seen, I've seen it in their faces when they observe me, something bad. I want to be all goodness. I want you to stay with me. I want to be your family, and feel like your family. I love you so much.

Cadvan's tears stopped falling, as his relieved breathing started to go back to normal. Her confession had made him feel as if all was right in the world again. She pulled away from him slowly, not letting herself release him fully yet.

"We need to move, and you need rest," Cadvan said over the sounds of wind and rain.