10-30-2520 to 9-03-2521

CHAPTER 1

The scream rang into T'lana's mind as the bellow of the stricken dragon assailed her ears.

"Mirrith – help Sh'len!" Tath's scream cut into her brain as well as Mirrith's. Mirrith needed no urging; she lifted effortlessly out of the Queens' Wing on powerful wing beats stronger than many a larger queen, her wings strengthened by the great amount of Straight flight she had practised. She manoeuvred into place to slow the descent of the plummeting, tumbling, Thread-stricken bronze dragon and support him back between to High Reaches Weyr. There were plenty of willing young dragons to help Mirrith ease Tath to the floor of the Bowl, screaming from the pain of wings tattered to shreds and flanks deeply scored. Sh'len sagged in his fighting straps; and Calla and her helpers raced to unstrap him as R'gar and T'ral, Sh'len's brother ran forward with numbweed to help Tath.

"It is too late" said Mirrith in bewildered grief. "Tath will not stay."

The dragon shuddered; Talana felt the so tenuous desire to reach the blessed numbness of Between to freeze the pain; and with a final scream the mortally wounded bronze made the shift and disappeared. Mirrith raised her head in a keen of anguish and loss, joined by the rest of the reserve and non-combatant dragons. The eerie sound and the horror at the loss brought tears to T'lana's eyes.

"We must go back, Mirrith" she said urgently. "Fall is heavy – we will be needed."

"Yes. It must not happen to anyone else! They will be distracted" Mirrith agreed unhappily. She sprang into the air and they rejoined the Queens' wing, fighting Thread in the automatic way of the deeply shocked. Mirrith was answering questions rapidly.

"Tath went – his rider lives – he is badly hurt; Calla was dubious. To your left, Tamalenth – we must fight Thread!"

The little queen was upset that she had been unable to save her friend – for Tath was one of her favourite bronzes. She was desperate to avoid more hurt to her friends; and she knew Thread needed all their concentration.

T'lana wept silently for Sh'len's loss as she fired the flamethrower again and again at the gruesome organism, as though by aggression she could somehow bring Tath back. It was a subdued group that returned; and Mirrith flew straight to Laranth for mutual comfort. T'lan went to the arms of her beloved R'gar.

"How could it be Tath?" she asked futilely. "He was so gentle, so practical: so – so SENSIBLE!"

R'gar held her, tears in his own eyes.

"We have not lost anyone to Thread since the year of Mishaps, the year before you came." He said, his voice raw. "Sh'len – Shirallen – is badly injured and he is of course in deep shock. It would perhaps be better if he died of his injuries."

oOoOo

Depression lay on the Weyr like a black cloud. The loss of any dragon was a tragedy; a young bronze even more so. T'bor held an enquiry and established that sheer blind mischance had been to blame; for such situations always led to an outbreak of the 'if only' disease. T'bor had no desire to lose the wits of any of his riders through fruitless and uncalled for guilt. Deepest hit by this was T'ral, as trainee Weyrhealer, and assigned to R'gar that day. He blamed himself doubly – for not saving Tath, and for not being in the air with his brother in the first place. R'gar had to speak to him sharply, reminding him of T'bor's words about chance, pointing out that no one could have made a difference in the air or on the ground.

"Or are you going to feel always that T'lan and I could have done more?" asked R'gar. "I'd rather know if you blame us; and we'd realise why." T'ral shook his head.

"I know I'm being foolish R'gar – but knowing doesn't stop you feeling, does it?"

R'gar put an arm around the young man.

"No, son, it doesn't. And what will make it worse is that dragonless men often go through a period of hating those who still have dragons – and being angry that it is they not another who has lost his companion. You will have to be strong, T'ral, for yourself, for Firath, for Shirallen and for your parents." T'ral nodded. He respected R'gar more than anyone in the weyr; and if truth be told, was fonder of the crusty weyrlingmaster than of his own father. But he resolved to be there for his parents. T'llen and Shiralla.

oOoOo

The clutchmates of Shirallen were also deeply affected. Death happened to the very old or the very young; weyrlings who disregarded drills. Sh'len was a hugely popular wingleader, known if anything for his caution; and Tath's inclination had always been to seriousness bordering on the pomposity of his sire, Orth. L'rilly was inconsolable; like Mirrith, Tamalenth had considered Tath as one of her favourite bronzes, but unlike Mirrith, Tamalenth had permitted him to fly her last time she had risen. The general air of gloom was dangerous, destroying morale. T'bor called a meeting with L'gani, T'kil, R'gar and Pilgra. T'lana attended with R'gar; and T'bor did not protest, for he valued her practical good sense and innovative approach to problems.

"We must get our people – and ourselves – focused again" said T'bor. "Sh'len – or rather, Shirallen – needs all the help we can give him of course, whether he decides to stay or leave when his wounds have healed – but the entire Weyr has been shocked."

"On the positive side" said Pilgra, "R'gar has trained the weyrlings so well we have had lost no-one since the year of Mishaps. And the two we lost to Thread that time was an accident like this."

"It was not." Contradicted R'gar. "The loss of those two boys was due to foolish over-excitement. But both boys and dragons died; and no one but I had any reason to blame themselves. We mourned; and it passed. What is eating us up this time is the thought of being dragonless ourselves; and the guilt is over being glad that it wasn't ourselves."

The others digested this, and nodded. As always, R'gar had gone directly to the unpalatable truth of the matter and exposed it to view.

"The only thing that's going to sort us out is a bloody good mating flight." Declared T'lan. There was a shocked silence at her words; but after a moment stunned, Pilgra nodded.

"One strong emotion to displace the other. You're right, T'lana. Segrith is due to rise; but I can't guarantee when. We need something as an interim measure; Thread will fall again before she is ready."

"What can distract people enough?" Asked L'gani.

"Competitions?" Suggested T'kil. T'bor winced.

"It was in the games that Lytol lost Larth." He said sharply.

"Most of the people of an age to remember that don't, because they're Oldtimers." Said T'lana bluntly. "It's you, sir, R'gar, R'cal and L'gani."

"I don't remember it other than by what I was told." Said L'gani. "I hadn't Impressed then – remember I'm not weyrbred."

"Anyway, it need not be dragonback competitions." Maintained T'kil. "In fact the dragons aren't the ones needing adjusting. They'd be all right if we were – those selective memories of theirs sure are handy. I was thinking about strenuous activity of the endurance type. Worn out bodies sleep before the mind has a chance to brood."

T'bor nodded at his son, approving of the way he had thought it through.

"Does everyone agree?" He asked. There were nods all round.

"If I may make a suggestion" said T'lana "It could be made clear that fitness has dropped off; and fitness needs to return to standard in order for people to be better prepared to help their dragons. Drop stories about Jora and that sort of thing. That ought to lift people out of apathy." She gave a lopsided grin. "I've noticed" she added dryly "That enlightened self-interest is a greater inducement than any other reason."

oOoOo

T'lana spent time with L'rilly to cuddle the distraught queenrider. Apart from friendship, it was vital that a queenrider be emotionally as stable as possible to keep the other dragons efficient; and T'lana resorted to pointing this out rather brutally. L'rilly sobbed over her at this but promised to do her best. She valued T'lana's good opinion; and T'lana's tart reminder that she must remember her position not only as a weyrwoman but also of her Blood – whatever side of the blanket the youthful Lord Groghe had sired her mother – helped her to find the pride to carry on.

T'lana also spent painful hours with Shirallen. When it became plain that he was going to survive, T'lan used her gift of telepathy to stay with him so he should not be alone. She thus saw, as no one who had never lost a dragon could ever see but only imagine the depth of the void left by the ripping away of half the melded soul that was Impressed dragon and rider. The loss, too deep for words to describe, left Shirallen on the edge of madness in a despair too deep to emerge from.

T'lan knew that people could survive dragonless and even rebuild a life of sorts. Brekke had had the voice of her firelizard, and her lover's dragon, Canth, to hold on to her and be with her in the void; and being able to hear all dragons managed to far more than merely function. Lytol had immersed himself in his craft and spying on Fax at first, then had found love of a sort for the young Lord of Ruatha. He had revered his ward's choice to save a dragon life that must otherwise die Unjoined. He had survived on strength of will. T'lan did not know if Shirallen had such inner reserves of strength; but bronzes were not likely to choose the weaker minded candidates, and she was determined that he would not be alone. She was deeply fond of her friend, however irritating she may once have found his amorous overtures, so she did what she could though it wrung her heart.

oOoOo

The competitions helped somewhat; but it was a relief when Segrith rose. Talana let all her pent up emotions release themselves as she took advantage of her ability to hear all dragons. Mirrith, aware of both riders' needs, actually consented to let Laranth join the flight whilst abjuring him firmly to be sure and not catch Segrith. She and Tamalenth took themselves fishing for the duration. R'gar was grateful to the little queen for permitting him to be caught up in Laranth's desires. Shirallen had been one of his favourite pupils, though he tried hard not to have them. R'gar always felt deeply if anything happened to any of his weyrlings; and as dragonhealer too, the inability to save Tath weighed heavily on him. When he and Talana finally emerged he made sure to spend a long time fussing Mirrith's eyebrows to show his appreciation; and Talana gave her an extra special rub with oil. Mirrith positively glowed with virtue until a snide comment from Laranth about swollen heads and the width of weyr entrances caused her to nip the end of his tail.

oOoOo

It was not long after this that T'lana received a visit from Lord Holder Deckter of Nabol. The dragon stationed at Nabol after Meron's death never minded transporting the amiable ex-carter who was unfailingly polite to dragonkind and always spoke to dragon and rider both. Deckter greeted T'lana enthusiastically as though she were a kinswoman; which in all probability she was, if one cared to trace the connection.

"Sorted that matter of Derrinik!" he told her, referring to his brutal cousin who had abused his own wife and daughter and strangled his own new-born son in the mistaken belief that the babe was not his seed. "Had to execute him; couldn't have someone of that stamp wandering around holdless and stirring up trouble."

T'lana nodded approval. The state in which she had found the lady Rillys and her little girl Amrys had filled her with a smouldering anger.

"You've appointed a new Holder?" she asked.

"It's what I came about. I had a mind to appoint the Lady Rillys if she'd take it – and when she's finished wetnursing your little one."

"Felgarra is being weaned – Lanelly believes in weaning early – so there'll be no problem with that." Said T'lana. "Rillys has settled very happily into the Weyr though, and the choice will be hers entirely. If she feels it will bring too many bad memories, I'll not have you bullying her. I hope I make myself clear, Deckter my friend?"

He slapped her on the shoulder.

"I might have guessed you'd champion anyone you've taken an interest in, T'lana! No, I'll not bully her – but it is her daughter's birthright, and she should be aware of that." He added seriously. T'lana nodded.

"You're right of course. And if she did agree – she'd have to have the support of good men to replace her late husband's bully boys."

"I'd hand pick 'em."

Talana nodded solemnly and held out her hand; and they shook, as though on a deal.

Rillys was taken aback at the Lord Holder's offer; but when he explained that it was only fair to Amrys, she acquiesced.

"It will be a good ten turns before she is old enough to Hold in her own right." She said. "Do you think I can do the job?"

"I would not have made the suggestion if I did not." Said Deckter. "I have spent some time looking into how you ran things as Derrinik's wife; and the Hold was in good order so far as a wife's duties went. Good reports have been made of you by Hold personnel who have to do with its running. Most were only carrying out Derrinik's orders out of fear of him; I have executed or exiled those who willingly participated in his cruelties. Others I have moved to the main Hold where I can keep them under my eye. There should be no-one capable of giving you serious trouble." He said grimly. "but I counsel you, my cousin, to be lenient on those who had a part of tormenting you and Amrys, for it was surely in fear of Derrinik that most did so. I have been harsh; and I am sure you will know when to be stern; yet temper it with mercy. I have not dealt with every troublemaker, only the worst; for you must prove your mettle to the Hold."

Rillys nodded at the wisdom of his words; T'lana was openly admiring.

"This from the man who told Masterharper Robinton and T'bor that he had no knowledge of how to be a Lord Holder." She commented. Deckter shrugged.

"I daresay when you Impress you learn a lot about dragonet care quicker than you'd wish. It's the same when someone wishes a Holdership on you."

"Your point!" Laughed T'lana, explaining to a puzzled Rillys, "Deckter and I play for points, weyr against hold. It keeps both of us from getting too stuffy."

Deckter laughed.

"T'lana, the day you become stuffy, the Red Star will disappear up its own backside in shock!" He said.

T'lana had promised to fly Rillys and Amrys back to Rivenhill Hold, and to visit frequently. Rillys had considered leaving Amrys in the weyr with her friend Sagarra; but T'lana and Deckter had both been adamant.

"She must learn the handling of a hold bad with good." Said T'lana. "She is old enough that her absence could be considered an insult. She is capable of helping you and should be learning to do so. She's a capable child – she and Sagarra are managing the life out of me between them – and needs careful training. Maybe we could discuss the possibility of Sagarra spending some time fostered with you if the girls would like that."

Amrys clapped her hands; Sagarra and Rillys both looked dubious though T'lana's 'inner ear' told her for different reasons. She hugged Sagarra to show that she was not trying to get rid of her and added,

"After all, a possible future weyrwoman should have a more intimate knowledge of Hold life if she is weyrbred; and it would give Amrys and any other fosterlings you take insights into the weyr. As well as permitting the girls to pursue their friendship."

"That'd be GREAT, Sagarra!" cried Amrys. "And with all the riders you know visiting, why, we'd be knee-deep in dragons!"

Talana caught Rillys' eye and the two women laughed. Their respective daughters gave them the look reserved by all children for adults behaving in the unreasonable and incomprehensible way that adults have.

"Well" said Rillys "I never heard of fostering between weyr and hold, but I've been at High Reaches long enough to know that just because it's never been done is not enough to stop you!"

Talana hugged her. She had become deeply attached to the quiet, dignified woman who had offered to help her feed her infant daughter in the depths of her own bereavement.

"I shall miss you and Amrys." She said honestly. "As will the children. But I'd be no friend to stand in the way of you securing Amrys her destiny." She added, "I'll have a word with T'bor about sending you an ageing pair, or a smokeless weyrling with some maturing to do. That way you can call us quickly if you need to; and there's always the drums in the meantime."

"T'lan" said Sagarra urgently.

"What, sweeting?"

"If there might be trouble, I ought to go now to be fostered. I can call Mirrith or Laranth direct."

"You can? When you're not face to face?" T'lana asked. The little girl shrugged.

"Sure" she said casually. "I can't do it like you can – hear all of them anytime – but the dragons that like me hear me whenever I want."

T'lana considered a moment.

"We must discuss this with your father. Rillys, will you excuse us?"

"Of course, T'lana."

T'lana told R'gar what Sagarra had offered; and he asked if she were sure.

"Yes" Sagarra said. "I like Amrys; and Rillys will foster fair. And we don't want them getting overrun by someone like Fax, do we?"

T'lana stared at her, startled at how much her fosterling had grown up, and how much she had contrived to learn. R'gar caught her eye ruefully over his daughter's head.

"You once told me we keep our children cosseted in the Weyr." He reminded T'lan. "Well, sweetheart, if you've a mind for a change, we'll support your decision; and you can always holler for Laranth if you want out."

"I don't run, father."

"By the egg, nor do you!" He laughed. "Even when at times it might be wise to do so!" Sagarra was well known for her tendency to pick on – and often worst – bullies amongst new candidates. Her head lowered and charged with was at a painful height for most adolescent boys, and she knew all the craft tricks of fighting that could be wheedled out of older lads. Wheedling was a speciality of Sagarra's. R'gar added more seriously, "You will have to learn when is the time to fight – and when to run. There may well be more potent enemies away from the Weyr." Sagarra nodded, big eyed; then threw herself into his arms.

"Oh father, I am going to miss you!"

He hugged her to him and kissed her dark unruly mop of hair.

"And I you. But I am so proud that my daughter follows her sense of duty." He told her.

It seemed strange without Sagarra around; and T'lana missed having the little girl snuggle up to her. She missed her at bedtime, when Sagarra, smelling sweetly of clean little girl, still liked a story in bed; and she missed her running errands, helping with the babes and asking an endless stream of questions. She comforted herself that a year would soon pass; and the distance was short enough, even by straight flight, for easy visiting in case the herbs should fail and she fell pregnant again. Talana had no intention of wearing herself out by endless pregnancies; she had decided to have a gap of several years!

T'lana had asked Geriana to take a likeness of Sagarra as a gift for R'gar. Geriana had not intended to stay on at the Weyr after the last hatching, but there had been so much to draw, and she still felt herself to be welcome, so had delayed her departure. She was taken from time to time to check up on her llama and take it fodder, and tend to such of her garden as it had not already eaten, and she fully intended to return to her smallhold. Geriana was the only person in the weyr who was unaware that T'lana and L'rilly had brought her there to Impress; she merely thought that she was extending her contract! Many riders were in fact paying her to take sketches of their dragons, or themselves with their dragons, especially the newly Impressed who wanted to send mementoes to their parents. The dragons themselves enjoyed the phenomenon of having their likenesses reproduced small, and from what Mirrith let slip to T'lana accorded Geriana the honour of chatting to her. This further convinced T'lana that the girl was bound to Impress; that and her obvious delight in the sheer beauty of dragons. It had the purity of a childlike fascination, something which tended to attract dragons; for they would often condescend to talk to the very tiny fearless child whose wonder was a wonder of joy where the more respectful fear filled adult was ignored. As Mirrith said,

"Reverence to dragons is all very well but it's not as nice as being loved."

R'cal was furious at first that Sagarra had been permitted to go; and his firelizards scolded at R'gar from vantage points on R'cal's head and shoulders.

"Whatever possessed you?" snarled the angry Blue rider to his son.

"I will not prevent a child of mine from doing what she perceives as her duty" snapped R'gar. "It is very proper that she should be ready to discharge the obligation of her little sister. Felgarra owes a debt of life to Rillys – Lady Rillys as I should style her – and Sagarra also bears friendship to her daughter. Would you have stopped me from standing by my milk-mother and M'gol?"

R'cal scowled.

"No of course not. But she's so young – so vulnerable!"

"She's six days short of the age I was when you took me to Telgar Weyr and dumped me there to stay the night alone to stop me plaguing you with questions you couldn't answer about empty weyrs."

R'cal looked ashamed.

"I had no right to do that" he muttered. "But shards! I was so proud of the way you handled yourself!"

"And I'm proud of Sagarra." Said R'gar, gently. "Proud of her loyalty and bravery and sense of what is right. And" he added, "She will learn a lot there about non weyrfolk. All the experience she has to date is with her natural mother and meetings with Lords. Neither reflect a true picture."

R'cal grunted.

"You have a point" he conceded.

"And she can call Laranth or Mirrith or Camnath, not to mention one or two others that listen to her" R'gar said. R'cal nodded, mollified, and his firelizards settled back into more relaxed positions, their eyes losing the oranges and gaining the blues and greens of comfort.

"Well I'll be visiting her anyway" he said. "And maybe I'll be finding her a firelizard egg or two. Handy little things to have around." He stroked his three settled lizards; and they crooned at him happily.

oOoOo

Sagarra considered it all a big adventure. Of course she wanted to help Rillys too; Rillys had helped make Baby Sister strong. Baby Sister was pretty boring at the moment, but as she grew she would be a great ally in helping Sagarra to keep all the weyr boys In Order. It would of course be embarrassing if she, Sagarra, Impressed only a green, and little Felgarra had a gold queen; but there'd be plenty of turns to be sure that Baby Sister knew a decent respect for Big Sister.

The hold at Rivenhill was small, scarcely what Sagarra would call a Hold at all by comparison with Fort, Nabol or High Reaches, all of which she had visited. Rivenhill held perhaps four dozen people and claimed the allegiance of perhaps as many more from cotholds around it. The only reason that the Holder was ranking was because Rillys' late husband had been a Blood relative of Meron.

All the Hold had turned out to greet Rillys. Their demeanour varied from sullen through to genuinely pleased to see her back. Sagarra had no 'inner ear' like T'lan; but she had not spent the last four years around dragons without picking up some sensitivity. She ran her eyes over the assembly, marking out those she reckoned would be trouble.

Rillys gave a short speech in which she declared her pleasure to be returning, emphasising that she considered herself to be Warder for her daughter. She introduced her new fosterling and companion to Amrys, refraining from mentioning Sagarra's weyrbred background – Sagarra had met her eyes, and a tacit agreement had been made. The three of them had arrived on dragons whose colours were far beyond the status of such a small Hold – a Bronze and a Queen, whose rider had formally kissed Rillys on departing – and Rillys had exploited the impression this had created. She used the stunned silence to make her speech, and informed her people that, whilst the cruel excesses of Derrinik were over, she would not accept that as an excuse for slackness or idleness. She later told the little girls as they settled into their quarters,

"It is easier to slacken a tight control than to re-establish control if you have lost it."

Sagarra nodded. She could see that; her father used a similar principal in training weyrlings. But it was all so very different to the weyr where adults performed their duties to the best of their abilities because it would be a dishonour to behave any other way, not because they expected Pilgra or Keerana to shout at them. Sagarra, knowing only one example of well-run weyrlife, did not think that she was very keen on Holds.