Notes: Implied male-pregnancy.

I pray for it to be something else. I pray to God as our friend crushes his foot into my abdomen once more. I squeeze my eyes shut, and try to breathe, but I can't. I can't breathe. I can't feel, other than the pain, and the liquid seeping out of my body and onto my pants, and then through my pants to the ground beneath me.

Yuusei...

I don't say it, but I dream it. I think it, I feel it, I love it, and, suddenly, it's vocalized.

"Yuusei. Yuusei!"

Our friend smirks above me, steps on my stomach again, then knees every ounce of his weight onto my chest. I gasp, and feel a substance begin to pour out of my mouth as our friend kicks me to my side with his foot.

And then it's gone. And I'm cold. Really cold. And then someone's holding me, and I try to smile. I remember how I was going to teach this new life the bounty of card-smelling.

"I couldn't read them before," I'd say. "I could smell them, though, as sure as your eyes are blue. Kind of purple, too. Beautiful blue-purple. See? Er, smell. Sniff, sniff. Don't they smell awesome?"

I hold it to my chest. I listen to its heart, I wrap my arms so lovingly around it. But then its heartbeat and warmth are gone.

And I sleep.

When I wake, Yuusei is watching me from the base of the bed. Our eyes meet. My beautiful blue-eyed angel. Maybe he thinks I'm dead, because he doesn't move towards me until I yawn and stretch my arms. He scoots closer, then rests his body gently over mine and places a kiss on my jaw.

"Gone?" I ask. My voice sounds so small. So afraid.

He doesn't reply. He just tries to hold onto me tighter, and my mind lingers away from what he must assume as sanity.

"I didn't see it," I say, "but I felt it. It got all over my fucking jeans, and it started coming out of my mouth. Did you see?"

I sound bigger now.

"Kiryuu, that bastard. I hope I coughed up blood all over him."

In reality, I don't. In reality, I hope I didn't stain his boots.

Yuusei tries to shush me by holding me tighter, but I break free and stand. I wobble. Yuusei reaches out an arm to steady me, but I swat him away.

"I hope I got that bastard bloody. So bloody, so bloody..."

Of course, in my sick reality, I don't hope at all. I just wish. I wish it had been his.