Clara stood in front of her bedroom mirror, waffling between two dresses. She held up a black dress with a sweetheart neckline up to her chin and cocked her head. This?
"The black one for sure." Amy, her flat mate, was sprawled on Clara's bed reading a magazine. She hadn't glanced up before saying her decision.
"You don't think it's too revealing?" Clara pursed her lips before bringing a red sleeveless sheath up over the black dress.
"Nah, the lace on the sleeves makes it a bit more demure even with that bodice. I don't get why you are so nervous. How many of these holiday parties have you been to anyway?"
Too many. But this year was different; this year the Doctor was going to be there and after trying to get to know him the last few months, Clara felt that this would be her last chance.
The Doctor joined their small publishing company three months ago. He was a noted research scientist and had been hired to boost their academic division. Clara, being in children's, had no reason to ever meet the Doctor but he had quietly struck up a conversation in a staff meeting and Clara had been intrigued ever since. It was a nothing conversation, she couldn't recall it clearly but he had seemed thoughtful and sincere in his responses to her.
Too often, Clara's opinions and suggestions were shot down or dismissed in staff meetings. She was the only female editor on staff and while most of her colleagues enjoyed an ease of comradery, she often felt excluded. But the Doctor included her in discussions and had supported her suggestions on occasion. She knew nothing about him; he was reclusive and made an effort to be alone but she had tried to learn more about him.
She had discovered that he was a visiting professor at the nearby University and decided to attend one of his lectures. She had snuck into the back of the lecture hall and had listened with a sense of eager anticipation. He was a tall, thin man with greying hair and when he turned to face the room, she swore he looked right at. She panicked for a moment and then his eyes moved over the room, zeroing in on each other students present.
Had he recognized her?
When he spoke, his Scottish accent rang clear through the hall and she could see the students shifting into attention. At the end of the lecture, Clara had gathered her things and was hoping to stall a bit so she could say hello, to let him know she thought his lecture interesting but as she saw the queue of students around him, she knew she had to forgo speaking with him. Slipping out quietly, Clara hoped to find another way to get to know him.
And that way had presented itself in the company's annual holiday party. It was usually a lavish affair, lavish for such a small company but she enjoyed herself every year. It was usually dinner and dancing and she felt comfortable with her group of co-workers, a handful she had known since her University days. This year, she was determined to try and talk to the Doctor, perhaps get him to notice her.
She can't remember when she had it this bad before.
Sighing, she motioned for Amy to zip up the back of the black dress. Amy stood behind her after the dress was zipped and patted her on the shoulders.
"You looked stunning. You will sweep him off his feet." Amy laughed. "Just be prepared, Clara. Someone like that is usually not interested holiday gatherings or even social settings. He may not even be there."
Clara raised an eyebrow in the mirror, "What do you mean 'someone like that'?"
Amy shrugged and stepped back as Clara turned to face her, "You know, the reclusive older man with the mysterious past. He might not show, love, and you have to be ready for that."
"He'll be there."
Clara handed her coat to coat check and was waiting for her ticket when she heard the Doctor call her name. She turned to see the Doctor standing next to her and smiled warmly at him.
"Hello. I wasn't expecting to see you here." Liar.
He looked wonderful, dark suit and he wore a dark grey tie which was unusual for him. She turned back to the coat check to receive her ticket and stepped aside to let the person behind her up to the counter.
The Doctor stepped with her and said, "I usually don't like these things but I thought it would do to make a quick showing, new guy and all. I won't stay very long, make the rounds and say hello."
Clara felt her heart sink, "So no, dancing for you?" She tried to play it lighthearted but could not keep the disappointment from showing in her face.
Before he could respond, Craig and Danny, two of her former classmates and current copywriters slid up next to her and Craig placed an arm around her waist. "Clara, save a dance for me, yeah?"
Clara shifted uncomfortably, casting an exasperated eye over to Danny. Danny got the hint and dragged Craig with him, "We'll catch up with you later."
Clara smiled gratefully at Danny and turned back to the Doctor. The look on his face was a mix of emotions that Clara could not decipher and she could sense him retreating. She tried to hold onto the moment before it slipped away entirely.
"So…if you stay…don't have a dinner partner… would you care to sit with me?" For the first time, Clara felt insecure and unsure. She nervously twisted the rings on her finger as she waited for his response.
He seemed surprised by her question and hesitated before he responded, "That would be nice but I don't expect to stay that long. Thank you." He nodded at her before turning and leaving her standing there alone.
His rejection stung and Clara took a deep breath to settle herself. He hadn't even said good-bye or made polite excuses, he just said no and left. It hurt.
Clara looked down at her hands and decided she might as well enjoy herself. Amy was right, it's hard when you like someone like that.
Having decided to enjoy herself, Clara did. She danced with a few co-workers, let the wine flowed freely and when it came time to eat, she found herself paired with Danny whom she adores. He had pulled her chair out and she started to sit when she noticed three tables over, the Doctor pulling a chair out for his partner. She stumbled slightly and Danny had to catch her arm. Turning to him, she smiled her thanks and quickly faced the plate on her table.
So he hadn't left after all, he just wasn't interesting in dining with her.
She feels like an idiot, like a first class fool and she risks glancing up at the Doctor and locks eyes with him. He's watching her carefully and she's hurt and a bit angry. He must think her so young and foolish, to have a crush on him. He probably sees right through her and Clara has never felt so exposed.
Blinking back sudden tears, she dismisses the Doctor with a turn of her head and engages Danny in a lively discussion of everything and nothing. She misses the Doctor's wistful smile and quiet yearning as he watches her laugh at Danny's jokes.
After dinner, she watches covertly as the Doctor makes conversation with fellow co-workers. He nods a few times and she watches as he places a glass down and turns to leave. So that's it then. He's going. She huffs to herself before finally agreeing to dance once with Craig. It was while she was dancing with him that she felt a bit sweaty and uncomfortable. Maybe she should not have had that last drink, she knew it was probably one more over her limit.
"Are you all right?" he asked her.
"Sure," Clara said, straightening up. "It's hot though, maybe I will get some fresh air."
"I'll come with you."
Clara protested but he would not take no for an answer. It wasn't until they were sitting outside in a darken courtyard, that she realized how really dark it was. And that she really did have one too many drinks. She turned to Craig, feigning a smile, "I feel much better, and I think I am going to go in now. Might be time to call it a night."
"Sure, Clara." He grabbed her arm and as she tried to ease away, he clung with surprising strength, pulling her closer. "C'mon, Clara. A kiss, yeah?"
"No! Craig, stop it!"
"Aw, Clara-"
Clara found herself in a struggle, trying to push him away but he held tight. She tried to kick at him, but missed, and when she flung back her head to avoid his kiss, he began to kiss the bare flesh above her bodice.
"Craig!" She was angry with him, and with herself for allowing him to get her into this predicament. And as his hands tighten until they hurt, she began to be frightened. She didn't have a hundred percent of all her faculties, that damn extra drink.
The way they were sitting made it impossible for her to kick at him or use her knee. She reminded herself that there were about a hundred people only yards away if she screamed…
She made another attempt to push him off, but it was a mistake. He toppled backwards while clinging to her. She tried to pull back and stay upright, heard a seam in her dress rip as he clutched at her, then went down onto the paving, slamming her elbow and knee painfully, enough so that she did give a tiny scream.
A voice said quietly but with force, "What the hell…?"
And Craig's grip at last loosened. Clara started to sit up and felt strong hands lifting her to her feet. She turned to find the Doctor at her side, with a look of wrathful contempt on his face. Oh, this was perfect.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"Yes. No." She inspected her elbow, which was stinging, and realized it was bleeding, a couple drops falling onto her dress. "Damn!"
Craig was getting to his feet, "Clara's fine with this so just mind your own business, Doc."
"That's enough! Get out of here."
Craig took a step back at the menace in the Doctor's voice. He turned to Clara, "Clara, I didn't mean to hurt you. He muttered, resentfully, "I thought we were cool."
"The why didn't you stop," she said, furiously, rather glad that the Doctor had kept a steadying hand on her uninjured arm, "when I asked you to?"
"One little kiss," he whined. "Why can't you be a sport, Clara? Didn't think you would mind, you're always smiling and flirting."
Clara gasped in outrage but before she could say anything, the Doctor cut in, his tone laced dark, and "Apparently she does. Get out of here," he added, "you pudding brain fool."
Craig seemed about to argue, but it was the Doctor and he knew he would hear about this next week. He left them in courtyard, mumbling under his breath.
The Doctor whipped a white handkerchief out of his pocket and tied it around Clara's elbow. As he jerked the knot closed, he said, "And he's not the only fool. If you didn't want his attentions, why bring him out here?"
"Excuse you? I needed fresh air and I have known Craig forever."
He gave her a withering look, "You can't be that naïve."
Clara huffed out a breath, crossing her arms. She was starting to feel a bit dizzy and just wanted to go home. "Seriously, what's it to you? I could have handled it-"
"Yeah? Didn't look like you were handling it too well when I came in." The look on the Doctor's face was a mix of anger and something else Clara could not identify. Annoyance? Jealousy? Nope, not jealousy. You would have to like someone in order to be jealous of them and he couldn't even be bothered to have a meal with her so they didn't qualify.
Clara was silent for a moment before speaking. "I didn't want to overreact. He wouldn't have hurt me."
He looked her over in eloquent silence.
She looked down at her dress and sighed. The ground hadn't been too clean so now her dress was dirty, bloodstained, and had a tear in the front where the seam had ripped. She's scraped her knee too, she realized, and her tights were laddered. Perfect.
She said, "I've known Craig since Uni."
"What does that have to do with it?" The Doctor enquired.
Nothing, she supposed.
Then he added, "Especially in view of the signals you were giving him."
"What?" She shook her head, trying to clear some of the fuzziness.
"I suppose it's a party and all, and that's what people do at a party." The Doctor took a step backwards and started to run his fingers threw his hair distractedly. Clara watched in fascination as it started to stand on end.
"You should just be more careful…in the future. You're friendly and beaut-" he hesitated. "You're very friendly and kind and people may get the wrong message."
Clara took a breath. "Do you go around dispensing free advice to everyone or am I just special?"
He started at the world special, "No one thinks you're special. I don't think you're special. Who says you're special? It's just sound advice."
Clara couldn't keep up with the Doctor. He had started pacing in front of her and she seriously needed to sit down. Everything ached and she would kill for a glass of water.
"Look…Doctor." She put up a hand to stop his movements. "I'm leaving. Thank you for your help."
She turned to walk to back through the building. Maybe there she could call for a cab easily enough. He called after her, "Wait, wait, just wait. I can take you. Just sit for a sec and I will grab your coat."
Sitting was what she most wanted to do in the world but she wasn't going to simply do everything this bossy man told her to. "Don't bother, I can catch a cab."
"Why don't you just accept my offer?" The Doctor sighed and ran a hand over his face.
"How do I know I'm not getting myself into something else?" she demanded. "Going home with a strange man?"
She knew the comment was uncalled for but nothing had gone right this whole evening. She had wanted the Doctor to notice her and he had, but for all the wrong reasons.
He gave her a look, "Do you really think you're in any danger?"
Clara looked at him, his words settling heavy on her chest, disappointment coursing through her. Of course not. The Doctor didn't even like her, never mind her insinuation of placing herself in danger with him.
"Come on," he said. "My car is parked on the other side of the building. We can go this way."
He pointed ahead and she followed.
As they drove he hardly spoke, and Clara, smarting from his disparaging opinions, didn't want to talk, either. She gave short, brief directions and when they reached her flat he said, "Keys all set?"
She shook her head. "My flat mate will be home."
"Sure you'll be okay?"
"Yes, thank you," she added with some difficulty. Her head was starting to pound and she felt a wave of unhappiness wash over. All she had wanted for this evening was to try and get to know the Doctor a bit more, maybe talk to him and be clever. Instead, he rejects her dinner invitation and thinks she's too friendly with everyone.
Right. Better just go and let this one go down in the books with all the others.
"I'll get your handkerchief washed and returned soon."
"You needn't bother, just take care of yourself." He started to open his car door, presumably to come around to open hers. He couldn't wait to get rid of her.
She placed a hand on his arm to stop him. "Look, things didn't quite turn out the way I thought it would tonight. I thought…I guess…I wanted to talk to you. I don't know what I thought, to be honest. I like you and I just wanted to get to know you but you made it clear that you are not interested so I am just sorry. Sorry that you had to drive me home, sorry about taking up so much of your time."
The words just tumbled out of her mouth and she clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. Did she just say that she liked him? Oh my God, can this night get any worse? She panicked and started to turn towards the door, pulling on the handle to let herself out.
The Doctor had pulled back from her, eyes wide. He opened his mouth to say something but Clara didn't wait. She had already opened the door and shut it soundly and was making a break for it.
She ignored the Doctor's calls to her and ran as quickly as she could into her flat, slamming the door shut behind her. She leaned against the door and covered her face with her hands.
She was definitely going to have to find a new job.