Madax's Author Note: A year ago, I promised my dear Kumquat Queen that her gift this birthday would consist of cheese. I'm proud to say I've delivered on that promise. Enjoy, darling. Next year we'll have fun with three hundred loaves of bread.
I disclaim.
In his years as a soldier of the Blue Army, Leonard Church had experienced many things that your typical person would consider quite odd. He'd been blown up, become a ghost, recieved a robotic body built by an enemy officer, traveled back in time and spent a thousand years with a compulsive liar of a computer, and had, on two occasions, ventured into the egotistical mind of the dumbest man he'd ever met.
However, in light of his current situation, he decided that it would be wise to reconsider how he viewed those past events. Because nothing was quite as odd as seeing...
"Cheese."
Sister and Caboose shared the same insanely happy grin as Church took in their latest project. Tucker looked as though he could barely contain his laughter.
"It's very..." Church quickly looked through his mind for a word that wouldn't offend the two well-meaning idiots, "Detailed." And it really was. Right down to the small scar two centimeters below his left ear. "How did you...?"
Sister grinned even wider. "We took pictures of you while you were sleeping!"
Church barely supressed the shiver that made it's way down his brand new biosynthetic spine. 'Note to self: Place warning alarms on bedroom door. And possibly explosives.' He couldn't let it end there, though. "And why, if I may ask, did you make it look like me?"
Tucker snorted, "That dumbass Vic sent us a ton of cheese. And then Sister here mentioned that she'd always wanted to see a person made out of the stuff, and of course Caboose here insisted that it look like you." Caboose nodded happily.
"Now we have two Churches, and I get to have two best friends! Plus, we get to eat one."
"And yet, that all makes perfect sense, somehow," Church sighed. "So you just.. sculpted a copy of me out of cheddar cheese?"
"Nope!" Sister chimed in, "The gray guys helped us."
Bewildered, Church looked to Tucker for clarification. "She means the Reds. Apparently, their sergeant had a machine that molds cheeses into the shape of a person."
"What? Why would he have a...?"
"It's the Reds, dude. I'd be more surprised if they didn't have one."
Caboose brightened at the mentioned of the team that was ostensibly their enemies. "Petty Officer Eclair and his friends are coming over later to help us eat you!"
"What? You invited the enemy into our base?"
Tucker shrugged. "Don't worry about it, dude. They have a jeep made out of crackers!"
At that point, Church decided that it would be best to just stop asking questions. Forever.
End Note: Tell me what you thought, please. I need to get my writing fingers back after such a long period of disuse. See you all next year.