Middle Earth University

MEU is a Lord of the Rings Alternate Universe (LotR AU) that was conceived of in 2003 when we wondered: what if the characters from LotR were college students? This is what we came up with.

The stories for MEU were written by a variety of writers - some stories were written by a single author while others were a collaborative effort. The authors include Corli (aka phoebenpiper); Kel (aka kelbebop); Leah (aka Daisy Thistletop); Jenny; and Cathleen. The author(s) for each story are listed in the description and/or in the individual chapters.

Please note: two male characters (Merry & Pippin) are lovers in this universe, so there will be some boy-boy hand-holding and tame kissing in the stories. However, some scenes are more explicit slash, and these are clearly marked with warnings and ratings because they may not be appropriate for all readers!

These were originally written as separate stories, but they're presented here as chapters. I've listed the author(s) for each story/chapter and a brief summary of each at the beginning - feel free to skip to the chapters you're interested in.

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1.) Moving In - written by Corli and Kel

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The students of Middle Earth University move into their dorms.

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And so it begins...another school year.

Legolas sighed, brushing the dust off his hands and looking around the small dorm room. It's not home, but it'll do for a year, he thought. He had carefully unpacked everything from his backpack and put all his belongings away, carving out a space to call his own in the double room. His Mirkwood calendar now hung on the closet door, and his Park Ranger medallion and "Think Globally, Act Locally" poster were over his desk. Looking at them now, he wondered if Aragorn was back yet. Legolas always liked checking in early, but the campus seemed strangely quiet without the others about. Maybe I'll see people in the cafeteria later, he thought, fighting off a sudden surge of loneliness.

And maybe my roommate will arrive soon.

Legolas was anxious to meet his new roommate. Because his roommate from last year had flunked out (he'd kept explaining that it would be easier for him to pass his classes if he actually WENT to them, but Glorfindel had refused to listen), Legolas had been forced to enter the roommate lottery. He'd expected a short bio on his new roommate, or at least a NAME, but the Housing Board had sent him nothing all summer. I hope he's tidy, Legolas thought, straightening his bedspread for the umpteenth time. And I hope he doesn't mind that I took the top bunk.

Legolas gave the room a once-over and then nodded. That'll do. He looked down at his hands and realized they were covered with dust - a by-product of the dorms being empty all summer. Legolas grabbed a towel from where he'd neatly placed it on the shelf by the door and walked down the hall to the bathroom. After washing up, he returned to the room to find the door open and a large greasy object in the middle of the floor.

"What is THAT?" Legolas asked, walking into the room and seeing the owner of the large greasy object, who looked rather greasy himself.

"It's a carburetor," the dwarf said, pulling assorted greasy tools out of his bag and throwing them on the floor. "My Hog's been acting up, so I thought I'd try tinkering with it."

"Not in HERE you're not," Legolas said, neatly folding the towel he'd just used and putting it away. "This is a dorm room, NOT a garage."

"Yeah, but it's MY dorm room." The dwarf picked up one of the wrenches and started to take the carburetor apart.

Legolas was appalled. This DWARF was supposed to be his roommate! What was the Housing Board thinking? He could feel his eyes turning brown with anger and frustration.

"It's MINE, too," Legolas said, seething.

"Oh," the dwarf said, smiling and looking up. "Then you must be Legolas. I'm Gimli, your new roommate." He walked to where the elf was still standing in the doorway and held out his greasy hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Legolas pulled his hand away, refusing to shake, not wanting to touch the dwarf after just having washed his hands. "Yes...uh...nice to meet you, too," he said warily.

"Hey, cool skateboard," Gimli said, picking up the green and brown board that was propped against the wall near the door. "Is it yours?"

"Yes," Legolas said, pulling it out of Gimli's hands and then looking around for a kleenex to wipe the grease off it.

"Cool," Gimli said, heading back to his carburetor. "Don't skate myself - I prefer to ride," he said, gesturing to the engine part.

"I can see that," Legolas said, carefully skirting by the dwarf to get to his desk in the corner.

"Hey, do you mind if I take the lower bunk?" Gimli asked. "I prefer it - it feels kinda like a cave, you know?"

Legolas sighed - at least the bed won't be an issue. "That's fine - I already took the top bunk."

"Perfect," Gimli said. "Oh, hey, before I get this too far apart, I better go get the rest of my stuff. I've got TONS of boxes downstairs - my dad brought them in his truck and dropped them off for me. Want to give me a hand with them?"

Legolas sighed. Next time you're lonely, remember this, he chastised himself. "Sure, I'll help," he said, following the greasy dwarf out the door and down the stairs.

...

"What kind of school IS this? They don't even have a fricking fencing team!"

Eomer smiled and opened the door the rest of the way. "C'mon in, sis." As Eowyn stormed passed him into the small dorm room, he added, "But I'm SURE we have a fencing team - I saw them compete last year."

"You saw the BOYS compete," Eowyn said, flopping down angrily onto the bed. "There's no GIRLS team. Can you believe it? Don't they know that those without swords can still COMPETE with them?"

Eomer laughed. "You're gonna fit RIGHT in here, sis."

She glowered at him suspiciously. "What does THAT mean?"

But Eomer knew better than to continue. "Never mind," he mumbled as he returned to unpacking his toiletries, subtly trying to change the subject. "So are you all moved in yet?"

Eowyn nodded. "Pretty much. I'm definitely glad I got a single - I so wouldn't want to be dealing with a roommate right now. But the closet space really leaves a lot to be desired."

Eomer laughed. "Well, you're welcome to share mine. But I really doubt you'll be needing your velvet gowns very much - t-shirts and jeans are more the norm around here."

His sister nodded. "So how about you - are you moved in?"

"More or less. It'll take awhile before everything gets up on the walls."

Eowyn grinned as she looked around the room. "I see you've already got your horse posters up."

"Of course." He noticed his sister's grin and added defensively, "What's wrong with that?"

Eowyn shook her head. "Nothing." Trying to hold in her giggles, she added, "It's just that you decorate like a twelve-year-old girl."

"Hey!" Eomer said. "You know, it wasn't too long ago that YOU were a twelve-year-old girl."

"Exactly - and I had some of these same posters."

Eomer laughed, playfully shoving his sister so that she fell onto her side on the bed. "Play nice, sis. If you don't, I won't introduce you to the fencing coach tomorrow."

Eowyn sat up, suddenly serious. "You'll introduce me?"

Eomer nodded, sitting down next to her on the bed. "You can talk to him - maybe he'll let you practice with the boys."

"Really! And compete, too?"

Eomer smiled at his sister's enthusiasm and calmly patted her knee. "Let's take it one thing at a time, shall we, sis?"

She nodded and hugged her big brother. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me, too. I think you'll really enjoy M.E.U."

"Yeah - and did you know they have a school paper called The Palantir?"

Eomer nodded. "Are you gonna try and write for it?"

"Sure - if they'll allow reporter that's a GIRL."

Eomer laughed, patting his sister's knee again before standing up. "C'mon - let's go to the bookstore to get our textbooks."

...

Climbing the four flights of narrow stairs and dodging the sleeping drunk in the hallway did not make moving in the mattress easy, but somehow they managed. As Faramir let it go, allowing the mattress to fall onto the floor of the small studio apartment, he looked around warily. "I can't believe you lived here last year," he said, still trying to get the hallway's urine smell out of his nose.

"It's not so bad," Boromir said, bringing in the last of the boxes from the hallway and then closing the door behind him, locking all three deadbolts. "Just make sure you lock your door at night."

Faramir nodded and started opening up boxes. "At least it's close to campus."

"Exactly," said Boromir. "Besides, it's only for one year, and then you can join me in the House."

Faramir stopped unpacking and looked up at his brother, surprised at his suggestion. "You think I should pledge Mu Epsilon Nu?"

"Of course," Boromir said, "no question. You'll love it. I'll take you over to the House and introduce you around after we're done unpacking your stuff."

"I don't know," Faramir said carefully. "I don't really think I'm the frat boy type." He then grinned and teased, "I mean, do they even allow double majors to pledge?"

Boromir put his brother in a headlock and gave him a noogy. "Very funny." Letting go, he added more seriously, "Actually, there are a lot of smart MEN - our fraternity president is even on the Honor Role. And dad was a good student when he was in the House." Boromir paused and waited for his brother to look him in the eye. "You know, I think it would mean a lot to dad if you followed in his footsteps."

Faramir shook his head. "You mean follow in YOUR footsteps. Besides, dad won't even notice if I pledge."

As much as he wanted to, Boromir couldn't dispute that. So instead he said, "You're right. You're in college now, not living at home. And dad won't know what EITHER of us do here. So this is your chance to just be who you really are." He smiled and added jokingly, "Even if you are a dork double majoring in education and anthro - I mean, what kind of lame double major is that?"

"Oh, and Poli Sci is so original," Faramir teased back as he lunged for his brother.

Their brief wrestling match was soon interrupted by the sound of a bottle breaking on the wall outside and a stream of obscenities coming from what was obviously a neighbour's ex-girlfriend.

"Did I mention that you should keep the windows closed, too?" Boromir said, hurrying over to the window to shut out the noise.

...

2 Halimath, 1409 S.R.

Middle Earth University

Four Farthings Dorm - East Quad room 136

1:48 pm

Meriadoc Brandybuck broke down the last of the boxes and piled them outside the room door.

'Well, I guess that just about does it,' he thought, shelving his textbooks in the bookcase.

Merry glanced around the dorm room he shared with Peregrin Took, at the belongings and decorations that made the tiny space distinctively theirs. Pippin's violin case lay across a wooden chair in the corner of the room, atop a pile of sheet music. Piles of clothes still lay scattered across the beds.

Pippin had abruptly abandoned unpacking several hours ago to run errands, leaving books and belongings scattered in his whirlwind wake.

Merry picked up a picture frame from the floor. It was a photograph that Pippin's sister Pervinca had taken over the summer. In it, he and Pippin were laughing, arms casually draped around each other. Merry smiled fondly and placed the framed picture on Pippin's desk, amongst the countless photos of Pippin's numerous relations.

Merry wondered how their friends would react. He hadn't seen Frodo or Sam all summer, and a LOT had changed since they had parted ways in Forlithe.

"Merry!"

Pippin burst into the room, cheeks flushed and panting with exertion. "Merry, you will NEVER guess what I've just gone and done." He unshouldered his heavy backpack with a groan and dropped an armful of bookstore shopping bags to the floor.

"Spend a small fortune on textbooks?" Merry teased. "That's hardly surprising."

Pippin stuck his tongue out. "No, you great ass, I pledged Eta Pi!" Pippin beamed as he proudly held aloft a knit scarf emblazoned with the Greek letters.

"You pledged Eta Pi? Why on middle-earth would you do a thing like that, Pip?" Merry frowned.

Pippin sighed dramatically. "Why? It's the only hobbit fraternity on campus, Merry! What do you expect me to pledge, Mu Episilon Nu?" He crossed his arms and stared at Merry expectantly.

Merry chuckled, "Hey, don't forget about that hobbit who won his anti-discrimination lawsuit over at Valinor Tech! I'm sure the Mu Epsilon Nus haven't."

"Anyway," Pippin remarked, eager to turn the conversation back to himself, "I think Eta Pi will be great. You'll see. By the end of this week I bet you'll be begging to join."

"I'm sure," Merry rolled his eyes. "Well, for now, I'm begging you to finish putting your stuff away so we can move the furniture around."

"About the furniture, Merry. I was thinking that we could loft both the beds, and push them together." Pippin held his hands out, palms down, and put them together to demonstrate. "See, like this. And then, there wouldn't be the pesky 'do we make up one bed just for show' issue, because we would be using both beds. You're happy, I'm happy, and the RAs are none the wiser." He leaned in to kiss Merry lightly.

"Mmmm. I like the way you think, Peregrin Took," Merry grinned, wrapping his arms around Pippin's waist to pull him back for another kiss.

Suddenly, he felt Pippin's body tense. "Pip, what's the matter?"

"Frodo? Merry, it's Frodo Baggins!"

Merry turned quickly to see Frodo Baggins standing in the open doorway of the dorm room. "Hullo, Frodo," he said sheepishly.

"What's the meaning of this?" Frodo asked incredulously.

Merry's mind raced. He and Pippin had talked about how they wanted to tell their friends, Frodo in particular. They had definitely wanted him to be the first to know - they owed him that. But this was NOT the way they had planned for him to find out. So Merry frantically fought to come up with a rational excuse why he and Pippin had been in a liplock.

But Pippin wasn't so bothered about being rational.

"I just bought this new lip balm at the bookstore," Pippin said cheerfully, letting go of Merry and heading towards Frodo, "and I can't figure out what it tastes like. What do you think, Frodo?" he asked, leaning in to give him a kiss.

Frodo pulled his face away before their lips could touch. "Get away," he said, playfully shoving Pippin back. "What'd you DO to him this summer, Merry - get the poor boy addicted to pipe weed? He's off his rocker."

Merry laughed, amazed that the diversion had worked. "No, no pipe weed, though that's a good idea."

Pippin shook his head. "No way - smoke is bad for a singer. Now ALE..."

The other hobbits both laughed as Frodo shut the door to their room and came the rest of the way inside. "The whole CAMPUS knows your proclivity for ale."

Merry nodded. "And the janitorial staff, too," he added, remembering a particularly fun Friday night that had ended in a particularly messy Saturday morning.

Pippin shrugged. "But at least it doesn't affect my voice." He grabbed his violin out of its case and started tuning it. "Or my bowing."

Frodo nodded and took in the room. His eyes came to rest on the two single beds, and he let out a snigger. "So what's with the two beds? You're not gonna fool anyone with those, you know."

Merry smiled. That was why he liked Frodo - despite his deep philosophical angst, he was amazingly perceptive.

But Pippin was not. "What do you mean?" he asked, still tuning the strings.

"He KNOWS, Pip," Merry said. "About us."

Pippin looked confused. "But how?"

Frodo shook his head, smiling. "I may be sheltered, but I KNOW what tasting lip balm looks like."

"I'm sorry, Frodo," Merry said, feeling chagrined. "We were going to tell you..."

"...But you didn't want me finding out this way," Frodo finished for him. He smiled at Merry. "I understand. And I appreciate it. So..." he said, sitting down on one of the beds, "what ARE you going to do with these two beds?"

As if to answer, Pippin suddenly began playing. It wasn't the cheery fiddle music that he oft played at parties - instead, it was music that would sooth a wild warg. Merry's breath caught in his throat at the beauty of the piece, and he was reminded of just how much he loved Pippin. Merry slowly sank onto the other bed so he could take it all in.

But Frodo was taking it all in as well. "What is THIS?" he asked, standing and yanking on the fraternity scarf, causing Pippin to scratch the bow across the strings discordantly and stop. "Don't tell me you're planning to PLEDGE?"

"And what if I am?" Pippin sniffed dismissively. He resumed playing.

Merry and Frodo exchanged exasperated glances.

"Pip...love," Merry began, nearly shouting to be heard over the music, "what Frodo means to say..."

Pippin stopped suddenly. "No, Merry. I know exactly what he was saying. The exact same thing you were saying earlier." He gestured with his bow. "Why do you two have such a problem with me pledging Eta Pi? Can't you just be happy for me? Can't you encourage me?"

"Of course we're happy for you, Pippin," Frodo replied, "but those Eta Pi hobbits can be a bit rough around the edges. Sam's elder brother Hamson didn't even last through pledge week last year."

"I hear he still has scars from the initiation rites," Merry added.

Pippin rolled his eyes. "You know how Hamson exaggerates, Merry. He spent half of last year in the health center. Besides, I've met the president and vice president of Eta Pi, and they're fine, upstanding hobbits. Future leaders of the Shire, and all that." He smiled winsomely.

"I've been here before, Frodo," Merry chuckled. "We can't win this argument."

"And here I thought Meriadoc Brandybuck was the rising star of MEU's debate team!" Frodo laughed.

"Ah, but if Pip were on the team, he'd put me to shame."

The way Merry and Pippin were smiling at each other, Frodo suddenly felt very much like a third wheel. He stood up abruptly from the bed and shouldered his messenger bag. "Anyway, lads, I was on my way to the dining hall for supper. Care to join me?"

Frodo needn't have asked, for a hobbit never turns down a meal.

...