Disclaimer: I used a few lines of dialogue from the show, but I OWN NOTHING. Just grateful for the inspiration :)
When Castle showed up at the hospital, he didn't expect to cry. When she got shot, that awful moment in the cemetery, Castle had let all his emotions bleed out onto the vivid green grass, his tears mixing with Kate's blood. He cried even more on the way to the hospital, imagining what could have been, having to live with the fact that Kate would never know how he feels about her.
After the drive to ER and the long wait in the stiff hospital room chair, the only thing he felt was longing; the need to see Kate alive, the need to feel her beating pulse under his fingers, to see a smile on her still warm lips.
Sitting in silence with Jim, Espo and Ryan, goosebumps formed on his skin as his mind ran through an endless loop of all the possible outcomes of her surgery.
When the doctor finally came to talk to them to give them an update, it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Kate was alive, she was going to be okay and Castle had another chance to tell her that he loves her.
He had been totally fine when he heard the good news from the doctor only minutes before, so he was caught unaware by the tears that welled in the back of his eyes when he saw her, especially the ones that trickled down his face when she finally met his eyes and gave him a weak smile.
"Kate," he gasped, rushing to stand by the bed and swiping the moisture from under his eyes. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but he didn't know if they were there yet, didn't know if she heard him when he declared his love as she lay dying in his arms.
"You're staring at me Castle, I must look really bad," Kate murmured, and she did look bad; her face pale, her hair unwashed, but somehow she was still beautiful.
He smiled down at her, curling his hand into a fist at his side to keep from reaching for hers. "No, I just never thought I'd see you again."
They were both lost in thought for a moment, thinking about the other scenario that could have played out in the operating room. Kate broke the silence with a small cough as she reached for her water cup, sipping slowly from the straw to soothe the harsh dryness in her throat.
"Castle," she whispered, "I remember." She was staring into her cup like she wanted it to swallow her whole, afraid to look him in the eye.
"Remember what Kate?" he asked, hesitating slightly before sitting down on the edge of her bed so he could better look her in the eyes.
"I remember you trying to save me. I remember you told me you loved me."
He expected to see fear in her eyes at this acknowledgement, fear that her wall was crumbling, but instead he saw love shining back at him. Castle took the cup out of her hands and grasped her fingers tightly between his, a sigh escaping his lips as relief flooded through him.
He could tell by the look on her face, Kate felt the same way about him; a slight blush crept up her face at the admission, but from the way she was smiling he could tell she was happy. They could be together at last.
"Kate, I-"
She silenced him; pulling him down gently so their lips met in a slow kiss, heat spreading throughout his body at their first real kiss and the implications it held. She winced when he leaned too heavily on her, and he stumbled back, worry flashing across his features.
Kate never let go of his hands, so she pulled him back, letting him know she was all right.
"It's okay Castle," she whispered against his cheek, "I love you too."
Kate had been off work for eight weeks, enough time for her to physically recover from the bullet wound, before she went back to work.
The first couple of weeks were spent in the hospital, Castle constantly pushing his luck with the nurses when he refused to leave Kate's room, the promise of signed books and character names keeping him there even when visitors hours were long over. They spent a lot of time curled up in her small bed, watching reruns of Temptation Lane on daytime TV, and talking about everything that didn't come up when they spent their days trying to catch killers.
Once Kate was discharged they drove up to her dad's cabin in the woods, deciding it would be more relaxing than the hustle and bustle of the city. The cabin was their little slice of heaven; Castle taking every opportunity to shower her with attention, taking care of her every need. It was a little overbearing at times, but Kate was grateful to finally be able to accept the love he so graciously bestowed upon her.
The day Kate started back at work with Castle by her side, the precinct welcomed her with open arms. Her team had a case ready for her to work on and they easily fell back into the normal routine of the job.
A week later was when Kate began looking into the case of her shooting, trying to find the person who almost ended her life. Castle had thought she was working on a regular homicide from the 12th, but she couldn't hide all the files she brought home that included her name.
Internal alarm bells went off within Castle after she spent the next week obsessing over the files. Kate stopped coming over to the loft after work, and when he saw her at the precinct she had dark circles under her eyes giving away the fact that she wasn't sleeping much. She drank more coffee than seemed healthy for anyone, even someone with as much caffeine in their bloodstream as Kate.
Late one night, after a particularly rough case, Castle decided to take a bottle of wine to Kate's apartment. He wanted to surprise her with a night of relaxation to take her mind off her case and the one they were currently working on.
Castle knocked on her door, expecting her to answer in some yoga pants and a t-shirt, or maybe even her pajamas. He was definitely not expecting the black leather pants and jacket she liked to wear when she rode her motorcycle.
He lost his initial train of thought, distracted by her outfit as his eyes roamed hungrily over her body. "Uh, Kate…where are you going?" he finally managed to ask, stepping through the doorway to pull her body closer to his.
"I'm just – meeting a friend," she answered in a rush, averting her gaze to look anywhere but Castle's eyes.
He knew from experience that Kate was not telling him the whole truth, and he guessed that this had something to do with her case.
"Kate, don't you think you should take it easy? These people already tried to kill you once." He didn't want to stop her from solving the case, from getting the answers she needed, but he also didn't want to see her get shot again. Once was enough for a lifetime, and Castle didn't think he could take losing her a second time.
"Castle, it's fine," she answered, the flippant tone of her voice making him take a step back. "I'm being careful, but I have to figure out who shot me and what is has to do with Montgomery."
"Kate you're risking your life! And for what? What happens if the shooter finds you first and takes you down?" His voice was rising but he didn't care, he was not going to stand by and watch Kate die, that's for damn sure.
"That's part of the job Castle, you can't watch over me all the time," she rebutted, turning her back to him and walking further into her living room, reaching to grab her phone of the coffee table.
"You're damn right I can watch over you all the time, we're partners Kate! That's what I'm here for."
He strode into the room until they were close enough to touch again. Castle took Kate's delicate hands in his so she couldn't walk away again; he wanted to make sure she heard what he had to say.
"Kate, every time you walk out that door, I'm scared a bullet's going to find your heart."
The sudden change in his voice finally made Kate look up, her own watery eyes reflecting that sadness that Castle felt. She moved her hands to cup the sides of his face, dusting a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
"I'm scared too Castle, but I need to do this. I need to figure this out so we can be safe, together." She turned her head, avoiding his eyes and the pain she knew she would find there. She tried to pull away but he only held on tighter, not willing to let the greatest thing that ever happened to him just walk out the door.
"Kate I don't care if we aren't safe when we're together! If you die doing this on your own, what difference does it make?"
Kate turned back to face him. "I don't know Castle, but I can't see you die fighting my battles," she replied, anger evident in her voice as she imagined all the ways that her partner could get hurt by helping her with this, this case that seemed to hurt anyone who got in too deep.
"Kate, I can't-"
But Kate was done fighting. She pulled him in and roughly kissed him, nipping his bottom lip before soothing it with her tongue.
Castle was surprised with the sudden change in Kate's behavior, but he was just glad to be back on familiar ground. Fighting was something new to them, but this, this they were good at.
Castle turned their bodies and walked Kate backwards until her knees hit the edge of the bed where he laid her down, using his hands to convey all the emotions she didn't want to hear.
They spent the night reminding each other why they fell in love in the first place, why they worked so well together, but when he woke up the next morning, the space beside him was cold and there was a note propped on the nightstand: this is for you, for us, always.
Thanks to my lovely squad for being awesome betas! xoxo
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