Maybe this was a bad idea after all…

Finn had convinced the two girls to accompany him and his bro on a super-awesome camping trip adventure; PB had some time off and Marceline was always down to fight some evil forest fiends. Jake was designated adventure chef, and was excited to cook his lucky hot dogs for the group.

In the end, they were spending the night in some cold cave in silence, with the two girls' backs facing each other. Finn dragged a stick in the dirt with a sigh. The sound of popping meat on the fire lightly echoed through the cave as Jake distracted himself with making dinner. He looked up to see Marceline tormenting poor little beetles with her pyrokinetic abilities with a mulish expression, while Bubblegum held a lengthy anthology, staring at the pages with a piercing glare.

The thick atmosphere of tension mixed with a potent scent of hot dogs.

Their tiff started as soon as they left. Marceline offered to fly the Princess, while Finn would ride on Jake's back on the way to the enchanted forest. PB was quick to complain about being uncomfortable on Marceline's 'bony, corpse-like body', a comment that Marceline repaid with the cruel prank of 'accidentally' dropping the royal towards the forest canopy (and flying down to catch her right afterward, of course).

After a good 20 minutes of scolding and ruthless insults ('You tactless brute!', You uncouth beast!'), PB made sure to completely ignore the vampire's existence once they made it to the training site. The evil forest fiends they pounded didn't offer much conversation, which made for a pretty awkwardly silent forest adventure…

And it quickly became night. To add to Finn and Jake's displeasure, they were also pretty lost in this enchanted forest.

Marceline finally broke the silence after boring herself with the torturing of insects. She stood up, shuffling her bare feet in the dirt, then floated towards the cave entrance with hands folded behind her head. "Pfft, whatever: I'm outtie, losers. Better find a way out of this dumb forest before you warm-bloods freeze to death." She flicked out her tongue in a condescending smile that glinted her marble fangs.

"Yeah, gee, thanks," PB muttered to her book, not looking up. Marceline looked back for a second before exiting.

"Hm, maybe we'll leave you here then, majesty."

Bubblegum tried to maintain her anger, but exploded by slamming her volume shut and tossing it gracelessly at her sleeping bag. "Ugh, that —! That—!" she struggled for a proper insult. Jake flinched in surprise, still tending to his warming weenies.

Finn threw himself onto his back. "Dude, this trip is so not bondy at all." He propped his head onto an elbow to look at the Princess. "Man, I don't get; we got weenies and fiends. And friends!"

"Hardly," Bubblegum muttered into the knees pulled to her chest.

"Hey, you know that's not true," Jake finally piped up. "You've known Marceline the longest out of all of us. If you guys really weren't cool, you'd never be around each other."

PB paused thoughtfully, eyes gazing at the flames. "…Yeah," she relented minimally.

"So what really is your whole deal?" Finn twirled his stick between his fingers. "Like, are you rivals or something?"

She scoffed. "As if Marceline would ever waste her time on competitions. She just takes what she wants." The last part of the sentence had more of a rueful tone. "She's been the exact same butt-head for 800 years."

Finn shot up a bit at the ridiculous figure. "800? Have you known her that whole time?"

"Unfortunately." A sigh. "She's known me since my creation."

"Whoa! Since you were like, a little baby?"

"My creation, Finn." Bubblegum folded her arms over her knees, moving her chin to face the cave wall. "Since my adolescence, my teenage years too." Then she hid her face in her palms. "Even my braces."

Finn and Jake blurted out laughing, trying to imagine a brace-faced Princess.

"Shut it!" she scolded. "Ugh, that stupid demon even facilitated my rebellious phase. That delinquent. How many millennia will pass before she grows up?"

"Rebellious? Radical— what did you guys do?"

Bubblegum considered the consequences of sharing these secrets, but somewhat enjoyed the storytelling atmosphere of an enchanted cave in the middle of nowhere.

"Magic booby traps." PB smiled at the memory of Peppermint being sprayed with unicorn glitter after opening every door, then getting upset at tracking the sparkly dust for the rest of the day. "I liked building stuff, she liked terrorizing people."

Finn busied his imagination with images of a pimply PB bullying candy people, along with the heir to the most hellish realm in all of Ooo.

"She was— and is—a delinquent," Bubblegum went on, peering at the flickering shadows on the cave wall, "but she wasn't a monster." It seemed like she was trying to convince a past memory with that statement, but she went on: "Marceline secretly escorts candy people who have lost their way back to the kingdom. She leaves gifts in Ice King's lair on his birthday, even though he's forgotten it. She contains all the evil, dangerous things in the Nightosphere to protect us; everyone in the land."

Finn and Jake listened patiently to her digress, then she continued, wistfully.

"Marceline is an incorrigible savage, but is still quite possibly the worst choice for a Lord of Evil."

Jake chomped on a freshly-cooked hot-dog. "It kinda looks like you've been through lots together." He smacked his lips, mouth full. "So then, what's the deal? You don't really mean all that mean stuff you say, do you?"

"It's not my fault!" Bubblegum blurted, kicking her feet out, displacing some cave dust. "She never tries to understand how I feel! It's so selfish!" She chucked a hot dog skewer at the fire. "Maybe I do want to just give up everything to blow up pixie nests and collect unicorn glitter for thousands of years, but I just can't."

The two boys chomped away noisily, considering this sudden outburst of emotion. PB dropped backwards onto her sleeping bag.

"But I always have to fucking pick." The archaic expletive was raw on her tongue. "Always an ultimatum…"

"Well, there are always compromises," Jake added insightfully. "You're the Princess. You can do whatever you want, can't you?"

"Yeah, PB! Whatever you do to be happy and have fun, we wanna do it to!"

"…I wish it was that easy."

The wind howled outside of the cave, and a crack of lightning tore across the sky. The dull drone of thunder echoed across the forest. The foreboding weather gave them a nervous feeling. Soft torrents came down shortly after, bombarding the nature with sheets of rain.

"I hope she's okay," the Princess whispered in a breath towards the cave ceiling.

"C'mon, we know better than to worry about the immortal Queen of Darkness in a thunderstorm," Jake laughed.

Bubblegum sat up, looking at the cave opening. She seemed to be churning heavy thoughts in her head.

"I'll go get her," she said, huffing to her feet.

"Are you floppin' kidding?" Finn exclaimed, "It's pouring out! You'll drown out there!"

The Princess shook her head with a smile, stepping into some sandals on the way out. "She's close-by, don't worry."

Finn tried to catch up, but Jake stopped him.

"It's girl stuff, man," the dog whispered. "I don't get it either."

There was an overhang close to the cave entrance that offered decent shelter from the elements. It had been a long time since they gained the ability to feel and sense how close the other was.

"…Feigning concern for the Lord of Evil, huh? Good thing your subjects aren't here."

"You look like a drowned cat."

"And here I was, thinking you were in a chivalrous mood."

"How'd the search go?"

"I found the path. Geez, my soft spot for mortals is ridiculous…"

"I was telling the boys what a softie you really were, Lady Abadeer."

"They won't believe you; Jake likes keeping his guts and organs intact too much."

"You're not so scary,"

"What else did you tell them?"

"A lot." Some silence. Lady Abadeer awaited addition to the statement. "I told them you saw my braces."

A roar of laughter belted out, hissing with the heavy rain.

"Man, teenage Bonnie was a nerd."

"Ugh, all the other Princesses thought I was so cool with a vampire pet of my own."

"Pet? More like a hostage." Marceline scoffed at the memory. "I can't believe I let you do your dumb dissertation on vampires, let alone use me for research."

"You let me!" The Princess added her own blurting laughter. "Your face when I asked you if I could 'milk out your venom'! You weirdo."

"Ah, did you forget the experiment that came after that? I've never seen you so red." Marceline's breath caught. "Never do you look more amazing—more enticing than—"

"That was my first." The weather hissed through some silence. "Experiment. You know. Like that."

Marceline looked off into the deep, dark blue. "Yeah, I know."

"Those were my only times, too. You were my only time."

"Yeah, I know."

Two huddled closer; shadows becoming one.

"How could you let me go?" A whisper. "800 years; it was only you."

"I never left. You know that."

"Marcy… Marcy, please look at me, you wet dog, you."

"I can take that form, if you want." Another crack of lightning. "I can become whatever you want."

"Stay like this."

"Do you have a soft spot for immortals now?"

"Maybe you could become a bit dryer…"

"Your braces and my fangs. I wonder which hurt more…"

"Don't be dumb; my orthodontic devices did not compare to violent blades like those."

"The better to suck you dry with."

"Ugh. Why do I even bother? You vulgar, tasteless ruffian."

"I don't want to spend another five centuries bullying and bickering, Bonnie."

"At least we're better than we were before." The Princess busied her hands with the pocket of the vampire's flannel. "Baby steps."

"I'm sorry for dropping you today."

Bonnibel reached behind her vampire's neck as a flash of the sky flickered their profiles. "Oh, don't worry, I'll get you back. Now, give me a kiss."

AN

i havent written in a while

its finals week; i hope this will help with my calc exam

antierotic