Cruel reality
Author: FOXOReily
Summary: Seven months pass after Michael left for Portland. Michael returns to Pittsburgh to spend his holiday. Brian is stuck at relationship with Justin as ever. Michael wants to talk to Brian something, but cannot easily make an opportunity. Time passes pitilessly... Sorry, there is no-beta.
Rated: R
Categories: Angst, Drama
Characters: Brian, Michael, David
Warnings: None
Completed: Yes
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Chapter 1
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At dawn, David gazed at a sleeping face of Michael in still weak morning sun. The wrinkle on the brow casting a shade thinly, and small convulsions to occasionally occur. Michael's smaller body was stirring restlessly in his arms.
"Michael, are you in pain?"
David asked quietly. Helplessly Michael pressed his forehead which perspired slightly to David's shoulder.
"Michael, do you want any painkiller or something?"
"No, I don't need anything."
Michael's voice was barely above a whisper. He looked up at David's anxious face and faintly smiled.
"I have to make my consciousness clear."
"Why do you board an airplane today?"
David asked while putting Michael's damp forelock through his fingers. To be frank, David didn't want to let Michael go; otherwise he thought that he should go with Michael. However, Michael strongly insisted on finishing his business alone. If usually, David can persuade Michael and bring the best way. Though, David could not but obey his will if Michael expected it this time.
"If I don't go today, mom will be surely disappointed."
"Umm...I can imagine it."
David lifted Michael's body onto his own and pressed his lips to Michael's temple and chuckled softly.
"If I was her, probably I would be not able to bear your absence for seven months."
"Definitely. If it was old her, she would be not able to bear it. But mom has a lot of being distracted other than my absence now."
Michael recalled the situation when he left Pittsburgh. It is seven months from that. According to the information from his mother and Emmett, Justin recovers himself from a tragic incident somehow and seems to be regaining original himself. The physical aftereffects seem to be left, but probably Justin will get over it. He is young, and he has a power and unyielding mind to heal his wound. And he is living with Brian now above all. So, with Brian... The blond teens obtained the man which he wanted most after all. On the other hand, Michael didn't have even proper conversation with Brian. Both the call and the email were cut off always a one-sided way. Michael didn't want to continue what Brian didn't expect. It was hurts so much, but Michael stopped all tries after having checked that no contact came from Brian.
"Anyway, I meet my family and friends."
Michael muttered slowly after having kissed David's lips. David looked into Michael's deep, dark beautiful eyes anxiously.
"But, one week later, you have to come back here. Will you?"
"Of course."
Michael caressed David's cheek with the back of his fingers.
"I'll come back for you."
And Michael was falling into a slumber again.
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When an airplane landed, Michael was thinking about what he must finish in this week. It was wise to have told only his uncle the arrival time of airplane. Actually, he didn't tell even his mother about his visit. Of course Michael intended to see his mother, but didn't want to let her do any preparation beforehand. Michael wanted to finish this visit quietly.
When Vic found Michael in an airport crowded with passengers, his uneasiness was broken off somewhat. The impression of Michael when he talked on the phone seemed to have quite changed with old nephew. Michael's quiet tones that seemed to be discouraged were enough to let Vic suspect something. And what was the most suspicious is Michael asked to him that he don't tell about his visit anybody. It enough made bewilder him. Vic worried about his dearest nephew. For these seven months, they were not able to contact each other frequently so that they expected it. Portland was too far to them. Where Michael has not at all acquaintance, he was isolated and may have been depressed. However, Michael who appeared in his very front was refined beautifully and seemed to be wonderful at first sight.
"Hi! Uncle Vic."
"Michael!!"
Smiling warmly, he embraced his nephew tenderly.
"How about your flight?"
"It was good. But actually, I was asleep all the time."
Michael rubbed his face with his both hands shyly.
"You know I don't like flying."
They have begun to talk as walking the crowded passage.
"So, how about gang?"
"Oh, mostly, they're doing well."
Vic placed his hand to Michael's back and urged him towards a parking lot.
"And I think officially all seems to turn into nothing except you disappeared. Your mother is meddlesome as hell as ever, and she has more audacity. Umm, firstly I should talk about good things. Girls are harmonious, and Gus is growing up to health. Also I think that you know Ted and Emmett are busy to develop their new business."
"Oh, yeah, I know it. I was surprised for their vitality."
Michael shook his head and chuckled.
"But I refrained from checking their site in our house."
"I bet David will not be pleased."
Vic smirked and they both nodded.
"Yeah, he would. Well, how about Justin?"
"Aww, yes, Sunshine... He's going to the art academy by support of Brian. Also he returned to the work in the diner. Well, I think he has almost recovered himself mentally. Unluckily, he seems to be completely on bad terms with his father, but he is building good relationship with Jennifer. Probably we don't have to worry about him anymore."
Vic smiled to Michael. Michael was angry at the tragedy which happened to a boy. The human of the kind like them can become the object of malice easily. Michael wasn't ashamed of his not having been doing coming-out officially for a long time in particular. He knew well it might not be right for all to reveal bravely.
However after he moved in Portland, at there life surprised Michael. David never hid that they were the gay couple, but the neighboring people accepted them without some pain unexpectedly. To Michael who thought that Portland was conservative and unsociable, this was unexpected in good meaning.
Michael discovered a big bookstore near the clinic which David is running, and he got the job of the Adviser administration in that comic book section. Michael's life in Portland could be said to have been favorable against everybody's expectation.
"So, Michael. How about you? Are you and David doing well?"
Vic asked while putting Michael's duffel bag in a car boot. Michael smiled at Vic heartily.
"It's great. I think that we're peaceful than time when we were here. Hank and Laurie are my good friends now. Actually, I seem to become David's son rather than his lover."
Michael smiles mischievously and rolled his eyes. Vic raised his eyebrows for curiosity.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I understood that my position was insubstantial. Fortunately, Hank took to me, but he already has parents. They had to put my subtle existence in the position that they could deal with. Consequently I seem to become Hank's older brother. Laurie has begun to treat me like her son-in-law. It's an understandable. To her, it will be easy to deal with me that she think I'm her son-in-law than I'm her ex-husband's lover."
Michael said so and hit a tiny sigh.
"But it's not so bad. That position seems to be comfortable for both me and all of them."
"Jesus, You're doing again! Do you respect the comfort of another person than your happiness again?"
Vic shook his head resignedly. Michael shrugged his shoulders.
"You know, it doesn't matter to me anymore."
And then Michael patted Vic's thigh lightly.
"By the way, I reserved hotel's room in the city. I think we can talk there without worrying about any disturb."
"Don't you really stay in mother's house?"
Vic asked doubtfully. He heard that choice from Michael beforehand, but, actually, didn't think that Michael really chose the hotel.
"If you appear before her once, I don't think your mother forgive it."
"But...you know, Uncle Vic. I don't belong to that house anymore. I'm no longer comfortable in there."
Michael muttered while watching the scenery which pass outside the car window.
"And I just need a place of my own."
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Brian felt a presentiment since he got up in the morning. He almost forgot such a sense since Michael left him. It seems to be an existing intuition between them. Especially, when they were younger, they were able to sense each other's accidents earlier than oneself. However Brian didn't think about Michael since Michael left him. A certain meaning, it may not be right expression that 'Michael left him'. However, Brian was thinking that Michael belonged to him all the time at least.
Eventually he was wrong. Michael can live without him. Michael can live his life with another man happily. Michael doesn't give a shit even if he writhes in agony in stupidity of his own. Brian understood that he is blaming Michael in unreasonableness. He let Michael decide it if he said as for the cause. But he needed an outlet of his pent-up emotion. When he is remembering Michael, he is always sullen and gets furiously angry next and becomes lonely gradually and finally, becomes hopeless. It was extremely unhealthy and Brian's behavior was annoying to everybody. It was sure as hell anyone wouldn't think that Brian was sullen when he is thinking about Michael. 'Morose face' was such as the pronoun of Brian Kinney. Even if he was the bitchy mood all the time, nobody mind it.
Brian woke up early in the morning and stared at the ceiling without moving in the bed. At his next, Justin is asleep soundly. He was looking askance at the blond head that he can think it is unnaturally to there. Brian was surprised that he's feeding this kid practically. The sense that rolled down a slope always clung to his mind since Justin's mother pushed the responsibility (It means Justin) to him. Occasionally he curses to the shit such as the morass that he stepped into. It was totally different from the life which he elaborated a plan.
(It can't have been this blond kid if I shared my life with someone.)
It was most obvious fact in Brian's mind. Brian was aware that he made a mistake in the time of the withdrawal. He was concerned too much with this kid. The sympathy caused a surprising debt to him. Justin's existence may have been certainly convenient for him. Brian uses his predominance and was able to persuade Justin easily. However, even if they're adopting somewhat open relationship, Brian noticed that Justin began to throttle him and kid's demand came to begin to be gradually huge now.
(I'm falling. Nobody can save me. Except him...)
Brian longed for the most precious person that he lost and sighed miserably.
"What do you think about?"
Because a muffled voice suddenly asked, Brian jumped up for surprise.
"Fuck...Justin. Do you want to give me heart-attack?"
Brian complained in anger after having regained presence of mind somehow. Justin uttered the dry laughter and moved his head on a pillow.
"Well, I don't know what you're thinking about. Still, I can't think that it's a good thing for me. Especially when you can't sleep and is brooding at the early Saturday morning. Are you mad at me something?"
Some uneasiness mingled with Justin's voice. Brian thought about what Justin asked during a little, but he didn't hold anger for kid particularly.
"I'm not mad at you. This has nothing to do with you."
Brian sighed as pinching bridge of his nose.
"Just leave me alone. I have a right to brooding and becoming morose. I don't have to say the reason to anyone. It's none of your fucking business. Did you get it?"
Brian muttered quietly but determinedly.
"Oh...I know now, you're already bitchy mood."
Justin could not but obey a claim of Brian first of all. The loft is Brian's castle, and he wasn't equal in relationship with Brian, here for the moment. Justin wasn't even sure whether they became equal sometime.
Brian crawled out from a bed languidly and went to the bathroom. Dumbly, Justin was watching Brian's hunched back. Justin felt that something irritated him. It seemed to be impossible to enjoy a morning shower with Brian somehow or other this morning. Such a treatment occasionally dented him, but was better than kicked out of the loft. At least after that tragic incident, Brian didn't treat him cruelly overtly. Actually, his present life can't stand up if there wasn't Brian. Justin depended on Brian for most of his living. He'll die on the roadside if Brian kicked him out.
(But...Why doesn't he dump me? Is it all, a thing by the sense of guilt? Is there the love between us as expected?)
Justin always wonders to himself. His confidence faded away more and more if he thinks deeply.
"But even so it's me that live with him. It is the most important point."
Justin decided to think about his doubt optimistically and sprawled out on a huge bed again.
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"Oh My God!! Michael!!"
Emmett and Ted ran toward Michael as pushing aside the half-naked men who is dancing in the dance floor. Saturday night's Babylon overwhelmed Michael which wasn't clubbing for a while. The guys that danced and wiggle their sweaty body sexily let Michael embarrassed for some reason. Emmett hugged Michael's body and almost swung him around.
"God...Why didn't you tell us you're coming?"
"Oh, it was a spirit of moment thing. Suddenly, my employer was decided to the remodeling of store, and he thought that I deserved some vacation."
"You were entrusting the comic book section of the bookstore, were you?"
Ted said and patted Michael's shoulder lovingly. Michael smiled at Ted and nodded.
"Yeah, you have no idea. The bookstore's size is almost same as NIKE TOWN."
"Good for you. You deserve that job."
"Anyway, sweetie, look at you. You're adorable, and fabulous! Does David treat you right way?"
Emmett asked skeptically. Michael nodded firmly to make his worrying friends feel relieved.
"It is more than right."
"OK, we need toast. Let's have a drink!"
They went to the bar and ordered each drink. Michael couldn't believe himself that he was in the Babylon. The human being is an adaptable creature to make fit the environment that there is now. He was already used to peaceful family life in Portland and forgetting this heat.
"So, how long are you here in town?"
Because Ted's soft voice asked him, Michael returned his concentration to the good old friends in a hurry.
"One week. Just long enough to see everyone."
"Oh, c'mon, only one week? If we had you again we couldn't think that you disappear again."
Emmett shook his head sentimentally.
"Sweetie, did you already see Debbie?"
"Not yet. I intend to keep the fun in the tomorrow morning."
"Oh...Don't you stay in the old house?"
Ted asked in wonder. Michael shrugged his shoulders as playing with a bottle of his beer.
"I stay at the hotel. Hotel is more convenient than staying in my old room."
"Umm...you know, it may not be so wrong."
Emmett smirked mischievously and pinched Michael's tiny waist.
"If you stay at your old house, your fabulous flat belly will increase by 2 inches at least."
"Yeah, you know my mother well. I assume that tomorrow mom force and feed me to eat the entire Liberty Diner menu."
Michael chuckled to two friends.
"By the way, I saw Uncle Vic and achieved a reunion with you two. I thought that I can see remain two guys if I come to here, but am I right?"
"Does it mean Brian and Justin?"
Emmett asked as sipping his Cosmo. Michael nodded.
"Aren't they here?"
"Um, in fact, Justin left here with his trick about 30 minutes ago."
"Oh...?"
"And maybe, Brian's in the backroom"
Michael was distressed by the feeling that wasn't satisfied while being walking in a darker backroom of Babylon. When thought about what happened to them, he couldn't believe this situation. Michael imagined that their relationship would respect each other a little when he heard that they had begun to live together again. Michael knew that Brian is Brian Kinney of the stud of Liberty Avenue. Even for Justin, he may not have needed to sacrifice himself. However, that night, Michael who watched Brian break down in front of his eyes was convinced that anything might change.
"Hey Tod, how's going?"
"Yeah, fine!"
While walking further to the darkness, Michael felt that exasperating migraine headache took him.
(Shit...not now...)
At the corner partitioned off with thin curtain, Michael found his best friend. Brian was sitting down arrogantly to a big armchair like a king. In his underfoot, two twinks were scrambling for Brian's cock, sucking and licking enthusiastically. The scene was what he got used to, but Michael couldn't help looking away for an instant.
"Brian...?"
"Hey, Mikey."
Brian muttered with having closed his eyes. And he frowned as if he doubted the words that he just uttered.
"Are you Mikey? No no...He was gone."
"Is this all you have to say?"
Michael muttered sadly. He knew Brian never changes. He loved even uninhibited arrogant Brian, but it was attended with a pain.
"It's impossible... Michael should be in Portland with good doctor."
Brian squinted his eyes and looked hard, and finally recognized Michael's figure. In there his beautiful best friend stood still and was looking at him. Michael's hair was growing than he remembered. The longish raven-black hair is framing his pale smooth cheeks tenderly. Brian rejected twinks and wanted to touch Michael. And he wanted to check a few things that it isn't a dream. If his lazybone legs hears what he says. However, his brain that soaked in alcohol and drug seemed to refuse to deal with reality.
"Jesus fucking help me...Probably this will be a hallucination. I may have taken too much in shitty drug tonight."
Brian grumbled and shook his head. He groaned loudly as blond twink swallowed his cock to a root.
"Oh, Shit...! Yeah, suck it, all of it! Jesus, Fuuuucckk!!"
Wordlessly Michael stared at his best friend ejaculating to blond twink's greedy mouth. He wasn't sure what he should have talked about with Brian anymore.
"Brian... Can we talk if you slip out from the effect of drugs and the alcohol? Maybe, tomorrow...?"
Michael looked back after having muttered like a soliloquy and went to the exit slowly.
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--T B C--