I Forgive You
The TV glared back into the dark brown eyes. There was never anything interesting on. Soap Operas, Documentaries, Reality TV. Courtney rolled her eyes back into her head. Reality TV-that was a joke to her now. Two years later and it was still the one thing that haunted her mind frequently. But it wasn't just the show. It was the people. The friends Courtney had made, the enemy's she would never forget. And that boy. That boy who haunted her most beautiful of nightmares.
His green hair was still in perfect tact, his blue eyes still shining as brightly as the day the two had parted. How foolish Courtney found herself to have been back then. How foolish Courtney still found herself to be to this day. She tried to push it all behind her, tried to forgive Duncan for what he had done to her. So why did he still infect her thoughts? Why did Courtney still feel as terrible as she did before?
"Courtney!" Nothing. The brunette continued to stare blankly at the television screen as if it had drawn her in, but it hadn't. Courtney was not watching the TV, she was thinking about him again. Flicking through the channels should have worked, but it didn't. It never did. Television was the root of the problem. If it hadn't been for the whole ordeal, Courtney wouldn't have been feeling the way she did.
"Courtney...Baby, talk to me." The young girl slumped down on the floor beside her, wrapping a caring arm around her friends shoulder.
"It's nothing." Courtney quickly replied, jumping to her feet. Duncan wasn't going to get to her mind this time around. Courtney needed to move on. Move forward. Courtney needed to show the world that she had moved on, like he had been doing for the past two years of her life. After begging her parents to move them as far away as possible, Courtney reinvented herself. She didn't wish to be that stuck-up prep that everyone had grown to hate; she wanted to be a new person who she, herself, could trust.
But what had gone on during that final season was not something that went away as quickly. Courtney had promised herself that she wouldn't, but she did watch the tapes. She watched them over and over again. She watched how her love for Duncan deteriorated as Gwen's love for him grew. She watched as her boyfriend's love had moved on from her and onto someone more his style.
It hurt. Courtney was never going to deny the bad feelings she felt inside her chest every single time she watched the show. But, with every time she watched, also came with less and less pain. The more it was shown, the more Courtney got used to the idea. She got so used to the idea that in the end it didn't even feel like it was her anymore. They all felt like strangers to her.
Courtney and Duncan were just young kids in 'love'. It was never meant to last; it shouldn't have even worked out in the first place. But Courtney had accepted what was and never thought about anything but her own happiness. Being so young took its toll. No teenage relationship lasts for years on end. Most end before adulthood. Most teenagers go through multiple in their life time.
The young woman didn't blame Duncan for what had happened. How could she? The past was over and done with now. There was no point on dwelling on it any longer. Courtney forgave Duncan for what he had done. She forgave him.
It wasn't Duncan's fault. It was the three of them who got tangled up the whole massacre. It was the three of them who had created the whole mess that went on around them for far too long.
But none of them saw it. Not one of the three saw what it was doing to them because they were all too busy thinking about themselves. Thinking about their own backs rather than anyone else's. It was all part of the game. The sick and twisted game that Chris pushed them all into again and again. None of them knew what was going to happen next, they were all too busy living their lives. None of them noticed when the cracks shone through. It was only when it all came crashing down around them that they noticed.
Courtney forgave Duncan. He may not have known it, no one may have known it, but she did. Courtney didn't want to hold a grudge against him any longer. So she simply forgave him. But mentally forgiving Duncan wasn't the last step. He was still there, in the back of her mind. Courtney could still see him, could still hear him. Courtney still didn't know how to move on from her first love.
Hating Duncan was never an option for Courtney. How do you hate your first love? You would do anything for them, no matter what they did to you. Courtney would quite simply take a deep breath and count to ten. Duncan wasn't worth it, any of it.
It was never meant to last; it shouldn't have even worked out in the first place. She tried to push it all behind her, tried to forgive Duncan for what he had done to her. So why did he still infect her thoughts? Why did Courtney still feel as terrible as she did before?
But Courtney did forgive Duncan.
A/N: ME AGAIN!
I think my new thing to prove that I ain't dead will just be a songfic or oneshot every now and then...LOL! KIDDING!
I've been sick...I'm still sick, actually! Just it's gone down from the flu to a cold now xD And College is still draining...BUT GUESS WHAT? HALF TERM! YAY! I have nine days with no College and since Aaron is gonna be away for a bit, too, MY MOM CAN'T FORCE ME TO GO SEE HIM! YAY! Though, I am quite upset that he's going away for a bit...IT DOES GIVE ME TIME TO CATCH UP ON MY WRITING!
Do ya'll think I have some emotional imbalance if listening to this song made me tear up? I do...I'm pretty sure that's not normal! Or it may have been because I was thinking of DxC and how much I MISS THEM! Yeah, yeah, I'm a DxG lover too! We all know that...BUT I LOVE DxC TOO MUCH!
And...I thought this would be a shake up on things...Everyone writes one shots and stories and songfics about how well Duncan and Gwen are doing, how much Courtney hates them, how it all happened and such not...But, no one ever thought to stop and think...Courtney did forgive Duncan in the end. I believe she did. Sure, women can hold grudges for seven plus years (I know I can!), but the lyrics fit well;
We were just a couple of kids
Trying to figure out how to live
We were busy living the dream
Cause the damage is done
And I forgive you
Does any of that mean anything to ya'll?
Courtney and Duncan were seventeen years old! They were still starting out in life! Most relationships don't survive through teenage years! They both got caught up in the most ridiculous (yet VERY entertaining) TV show...And there is no point to dwell on the past. The damage has been done, just move on...
FUCK! What is with my sensitivity today?
I took the lyrics outta this one because...I think they make it look untidy, don't you? I think it just looks much better without the bits in between...
ANYWAY! I hope you enjoyed this :) I know I had fun writing it :) I was actually gonna write Mr. Know It All because OMSG! I am ADDICTED to that song right now! hehe! But...It doesn't go well...I was gonna then make it a Noah/ someone random assed fic...BUT! I can NEVER write Noah very well...I know...I SUCK! And plus, I want my Fanfiction re-entry to be about the one couple I adore the most!
DUNCAN AND COURTNEY FTW!
I do HIGHLY suggest that you go listen to Kelly Clarkson's new album! Especially Mr. Know It All and I Forgive You and Dark Side and...FUCK! What was the other one? OH YEAH! Whatever Doesn't Kill You (Stronger) GOOD SONGS!
QUICK MESSAGE! How many of you are The Going's On fans? I DESPERATLEY need to know this!
Thanks for reading, please review :)
Love, ChloeRhiannonX