Leisurely walking the palace grounds was a luxury I had not enjoyed in a long, long, while. I glanced at my dress, smiling softly. Thank goodness for those palace seamstresses. Had I been forced to wear one of those frilly, over-the-top, uncomfortable dresses, I would have gone crazy by now for sure. Instead, I prefered a simple dress, like the one I had on now. No adornments, no excessive frills, and subdued pastel colors, in place of some other bright, gaudy dye.
Perfect for moving around freely, but still suited for someone of my position. Bless the hearts of those kind, hardworking women. I walked slowly, lost in my thoughts, until I arrived at an ornate, carved wooden door. Gently, I knocked 3 times on the rich brown wood.
"Shirayuki?"
The voice that I loved most in the world, belonging to the man who owned my heart. But….there was something wrong. His voice held notes of panic, and a healthy does of fear. I instantly became alert. Less relaxed now, I pounded on the door.
"Zen? Zen, open the door! What's wrong? Did something happen?" I said frantically to the unmoving barrier that stood in my way. Zen's voice could be heard once more, and although the fear and panic were still there, it was suppressed.
"Everything's fine, Shirayuki. I'm a bit busy now, so I'm afraid I can't speak with you right now. We can talk later though, I promise." He said, in a strained voice.
I calmed down, and just as I did, I heard the tinkling sound of a…..a giggle. A feminine one. I stilled. The giggle came again. It was cut short by copious amounts of shushing. A woman? Zen was in his office with a woman? But...but he said….
Thousands upon thousands of thoughts rushed through my mind in that moment. Anger rose up within me. But it was soon replaced by something far, far, worse. A heavy, oily, heart-wrenching sorrow. Masking it all the best I could, I spoke up again.
"I understand. I'll speak with you later then, Zen."
Tears burned in the back of my eyes. I hoped that the person on the other side of the door couldn't pick up on the hints of sorrowful disappointment in my voice that I couldn't hide. Slowly turning away from the door, I made my way back to my office. Every click of my heels were like pounding drums in my ears, and the once comforting scent of the nearby garden suffocated me with the musty scent of flowers. It felt as if my bones were hundreds of pounds heavy, and the entire weight of the world pressed down upon my shoulders. Somehow, somehow, I made it back to the safety of my office before my legs finally gave out.
Hot, salty tears were flowing down my face, but I couldn't care for how I might have looked right then. Collapsing into a heap on the floor, I let out silent tears. The air was heavy with my pain, sorrow, disappointment, despair, and millions of more complex emotions I couldn't, and didn't want to label.
Who would save me now?