One-shot co-written wth Vala 411! Berk's most-singed Dragon Rider shares his top tips of Dragon Training.
Disclaimer. We don't own How To Train Your Dragon. Rights Remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.
No eels, squids, parrots, chatshow hosts or dragons were harmed in the making of this fiction.
- o -
SNOTLOUT'S 10+ RULES OF DRAGON-KEEPING
RULE 1: Always let the dragon know who's the boss
"HOOKFANG? HOOKFANG!" Snotlout yelled, standing in the yard wrapped in a towel. Hiccup, who had just been down to Lars' Corner Store for some milk paused by the fence and stared at his almost naked cousin.
"Is everything okay, Snot?" he asked his cousin kindly. Jumping and almost losing his towel, the stocky young man adopted a brash expression while hopping from one bare foot to the other.
"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?" he asked, his voice an octave higher than normal.
"Well, you're standing in the yard in a towel and it's only a few degrees above freezing," Hiccup pointed out.
"Fresh air," Snotlout said desperately. "Good for the complexion."
"So why is Hookfang sitting on the roof eating your pants?" Hiccup pointed out, his emerald eyes twinkling with amusement.
"Is he? I hadn't noticed!" Snotlout lied urgently. Hiccup folded his arms.
"Snotlout?" he asked more determinedly.
"Fine! I was just going through some basic training with Fangster and we got to the part where I show the dragon who's Boss. I ordered him off the couch." Hiccup pursed his lips and tried not to laugh.
"So how did that go?" he asked, biting his lip.
"Well, he refused to move so I shoved him onto the floor so he grabbed my pants and shot out of the window and up onto the roof…"
Hiccup was sniggering now.
"Were those your only remaining pants?" he asked in a strangled voice, trying not to laugh.
"Yeah-but I have to make sure Hookfang knows who's boss," Snotlout told him stubbornly.
"Oh, he knows," Hiccup assured him, tears of laughter streaming down his face. Then a gust of wind blew through and there was a loud slam. "Snot-where are your keys?"
There was a terrible moment of realisation.
"In my pants…" he murmured and glared at the roof, shaking his fist and finally losing his towel. "HOOKFANG!"
- o -
RULE 2: A drunk dragon isn't always a wise dragon
It was supposed to be a morning like any other. Wake up, grab breakfast, drink coffee, do the sudoku puzzle that was his guilty pleasure, but instead, Snotlout groaned as he looked at his thrashed living room. Fishlegs, his neat as a button roommate, was going to kill him. Not even their Roomba could fix this. There came a groan from the window that was destroyed. Oh, Snotlout knew who did it. The perpetrator was still stuck in that window after all.
"Meatlug-what in Thor's name were you thinking?" he asked as the Gronkle gave a whine.
"Yeah yeah," Snotlout groaned again as he started tallying up the damage. "I should have locked the liquor cabinet," Snotlout mumbled. "Who knew Gronkles liked red wine so much?"
Meatlug let out another groan causing Snotlout to huff. "Oh, you are totally staying with that hangover, you crazy dragon! Honestly, why did you even mistake my window for a doggy door? You don't fit into a doggy door!" Snotlout still wondered if Fishlegs' was in a hurry and wouldn't see the damage. 'Cause really, you'd have to be pretty sleep deprived to not notice that a quarter of the couch had bite marks in it.
Later that day, after managing to wiggle Meatlug out of the window, Snotlout was still contemplating how he could hide the damage from Fishlegs when the front door opened.
"Snot?" Fishlegs called from the front of their apartment. Snotlout could imagine Fish toeing off his shoes and them placing them in a neat pile before hanging up his coat. What he couldn't imagine was why Fishlegs was home early. "Speak of the devil and he'll appear."
"I took half a da-HOLY-ODIN-IN-A-MUFFIN-SHAPED-HANDBASKET!" Fishlegs screamed as he finally saw the state of their living room.
- o -
RULE 3: Never ride a flaming dragon in your swimming shorts
A glorious day in Berk was too good to waste and Snotlout wasn't going to squander a single minute. Of course, the others had chosen to head down to Thor's Beach and Hiccup had assigned them all items to bring. Typically, Snotlout had been asked to bring the beers and that was definitely going to be a problem since he had finished the last four the previous evening.
"Oh well-I can drop in Sven's Corner Store on the way," he muttered as he checked his reflection. He wasn't going to bother with a shirt or tunic when he could be getting his utterly adorable and insanely buff body tanned by the beautiful weather. In fact, it could finally persuade Astrid that she was making a hideous mistake going out with Hiccup the fishbone...
Hookfang looked up tiredly as Snotlout grabbed his wallet and thongs and made sure he was in his best pair of swimming shorts.
"Come on, Hookie-time to go," the stocky rider told him, pulling his shades on and slathering on a handful of suntan lotion. "Let's go to the beach." The Monstrous Nightmare closed his eye. "The others will be there," he tried as his phone vibrated. Hiccup was already asking where he was. "And there will be cod!" Snotlout yelled.
Reluctantly, the dragon lumbered up and squeezed through the door. Hookfang was grumpy and for a moment, Snot wondered if the dragon had been at the beer as well. Still, he was willing enough to stop at Sven's and was happily curled up asleep in the sun when Snot emerged with a keg tucked under his arm. And then of course the dragon wouldn't move from his lovely warm spot in the sun. And when pleading and cajoling didn't work, Snotlout sat in the saddle and kicked the dragon hard.
Roaring, Hookfang reared back and flamed up to the screams of his rider.
"My beautiful back hair!" he yelled as they rocketed into the sky, looping the loop and zigzagging around the town. "And my leg hair!" Still roaring, Hookfang accelerated down towards the coast. "And my…."
Sitting on the sand, Hiccup, Astrid, Heather, Dagur, the twins and Fishlegs looked up.
"I wonder where Snotlout is," Hiccup wondered, shading his eyes and scanning the sky. A scream grew closer and closer and a flaming missile zoomed overhead.
"There he is," Astrid said smugly as the dragon tipped his rider into the sea and then swooped round to land on the sand, making a laughing noise.
Sopping wet, his dignity gone, shorts scorched to the shortest possible imaginable, eyebrows missing and smelling of singed hair, Snotlout splashed to the shore, still holding the keg.
Tuffnut screamed. "My eyes!" he wailed. "I'll be having nightmares for weeks!"
"Yeah-thanks," Ruff grumbled. "So will I." Everyone looked at her. "What? We're twins! If he gets a nightmare, so do I!" Snotlout glared at her.
"Not a word," he said as Fishlegs handed him a towel and a spare pair of-thankfully longer-shorts.
"Saying nothing," the friends said as they all collapsed laughing.
- o -
RULE 4: Squids are more devious than eels
"Okay… what did you two do?" Hiccup asked one afternoon as he looked into the tree.
"Us?!" the twins asked in confusion. "This wasn't us."
"Yeah right!" Astrid huffed as she crossed her arms. She was standing next to Hiccup and didn't look very pleased. "Then why is Stormfly acting like a monkey? She won't come out of the tree!"
"IT WASN'T US!" the twins feverishly insisted.
"You know….." Hiccup thought for a moment. "Maybe it wasn't them. They would have been boasting about this otherwise."
"SEE!" both Ruffnut and Tuffnut said in unison.
"Well if it wasn't them, then wh-" Astrid stopped for a moment as she spied a barrel with legs. She took off one of her heels and threw it at the barrel causing it to tip over and reveal the person hiding under it. "SNOTLOUT?!"
"Oh, heeeeeeey Astrid….." Snotlout gave a nervous chuckle as he scrambled out of the barrel.
"What did you do?" Astrid asked as she was already taking her other heel off to throw.
"It was an accident!" Snotlout shouted. "An accident I swear!" He really didn't want to get Astrid mad. The woman could use anything as a weapon. Why, there was a time when she showed him exactly why ice cream cones could be dangerous. He still shuddered when remembering.
"What did you do?!" Astrid repeated her question while looking more and more murderous. In the meantime, Stormfly didn't have a care in the world and just kept hopping from branch to branch in the large oak tree.
"I just fed her, alright!" Snotlout confessed. "How was I supposed to know this would happen?!"
"Eel?" Hiccup asked, just to be sure. He knew the eel's effects on Night Furies but wondered if it would be the same on Nadders.
"Nah, just squids," Snotlout told the group.
"Well then Snot, hop to it," Astrid muttered.
"Hop to what?" he asked as he looked at the blonde curiously.
"GET MY DRAGON OUT OF THE TREE!"
It was that day that Snotlout, who came out rather crispy in the end, refused to feed squids to any dragons ever again.
- o -
RULE 5: Feeding time is bonding time-unless your dragon is after your meal
"Okay, Gustav," Snotlout announced superiorly. "As Riders of the Monstrous Nightmare…"
"The most powerful dragon in the Archipelago," the younger boy supplied helpfully.
"It's vital that you bond properly with your dragon," Snotlout explained to his audience. Gustav was a good kid, all elbows and bright eyes and enthusiasm but he knew nothing about dragon keeping and obviously, Snotlout was the finest choice to instruct him. "And feeding time is bonding time!"
Swaggering with his own self-importance (Gotta put a good show on for the kid, he thought) he wrenched the top off the barrel of cod, Hookfang's favourite and grabbed an especially large one.
"Hookie! Catch!" he yelled and threw the fish straight at the dragon-but Hookfang was used to his Rider and caught it deftly. Grinning, Snotlout gestured to the boy. Doing a rather pathetic impression of Snotlout's manly swagger, the boy grabbed a cod and threw it straight into Fanghook's face. It stuck. Giving a nervous look, Gustav offered another cod but the adolescent Monstrous Nightmare whacked his Rider across the Arena and caught the fish as Gustav bounced on the cobbles and landed on his head.
"Cool," he groaned. Snotlout grinned.
"We can work on that later," he said smugly and then walked to the side of the arena and the bowl of mutton soup his mother had left for him. Instantly, Hookfang and Fanghook were alert and homing in on him. Gustav scrambled up as they started nudging the stocky Rider and making little begging whines.
"Ooh-feeding time is bonding time," he commented, expecting another piece of Snotlout wisdom but the dragons gave a shriek and backed away as Snotlout as, without even stopping shoveling the food into his mouth, he grabbed an eel from the basket and wound it around his helmet like a hatband. Falling over each other, the dragons scrambled away until they were pressed against the far wall of the Arena. Snotlout gave a happy grin.
"No one gets between Snotlout and a bowl of mutton stew," he said.
- o -
RULE 6: Netflix keeps a dragon calm, chocolates do not
Snotlout didn't know why, but Heather had a Dagur-related emergency and had asked him to watch Windshear for her. Those emergencies usually took anything from an hour up to 2 days to handle. That was why there was now a Razorwhip curled up behind his couch. Windshear's head rested on top of the couch as the dragon gazed at the TV. Snotlout would deny this for all eternity but when Fishlegs was out of town, he would binge old shows. He was currently on the second season of Golden Girls that was playing on Netflix. The dragon seemed to like them as well as she rumbled everytime a sarcastic remark was made.
Another guilty pleasure of his was red wine and chocolates, which he had placed on the coffee table. Snotlout had learned from his previous mistake and kept his glass of wine out of Windshear's reach. His other bottles were now secured in a steel safe as well. He looked at the bars of Hershey chocolate and thought why not?
"Hey girl, want a treat?" Snotlout asked as he picked up a bar of chocolate.
Windshear perked up at being called and sniffed the chocolate carefully before eating the entire bar whole. It took only a few minutes for Snotlout to realize his mistake as Windshear slashed his couch in two with her tail.
"MY NEW COUCH!" Snotlout shouted as the TV show was momentarily forgotten. Snotlout looked at Windshear who was starting to act a bit hyper and then ate the plate of chocolates. "Oh fiddlesticks!" Snotlout exclaimed before running after the dragon to save his lace curtains.
- o -
RULE 7: When accepting a request to watch a certain Night Fury be sure to not have any parrots nearby
Snotlout really should learn to say no more often. Him saying yes is what tends to land him in some of the most outlandish situations, such as this one, where two officers knocked on his door. It seemed someone in the building had filed a noise complaint.
"Can you repeat that again, sir?"
"I said…." Snotlout took a deep breath, "that I wasn't the one causing so much noise. It was that damn parrot and dragon."
"And which dragon would this be, sir?"
"My cousin's Night Fury," Snotlout said as he called for Toothless. The dragon in question poked his head out of the kitchen and Snotlout was not in any mood to know what he was doing in there. Toothless gave a yip before returning to whatever nefarious plot a Night Fury could hatch.
"And the parrot, sir?"
"Half-eaten but alive," Snotlout told the officers.
"So what exactly happened?" the other officer asked, now looking more curious.
"Okay, so this was maybe twenty, maybe thirty minutes ago," Snotlout started telling the story. "Hiccup, my cousin, asked me to watch Toothless because he's taken Astrid out to a ski resort for the weekend." The officers nodded as they followed the tale.
"So Toothless comes home with me and when we get out of the elevator we come face to face with Old Mildew."
"And who is this Mildew?"
"He's the neighbour from 3 doors down," Snotlout answered. "So yeah, Mildew had a parrot with him and immediately the animals didn't seem to like each other." At this Snotlout made a face. "The bird suddenly begins flapping his wings wildly when he sees Toothless and started shouting 'GECKO GECKO GECKO'." Snotlout waved his hands in the air as the officers wrote down the events. "Next thing I know Toothless growls, pounces on Mildew and starts chewing the parrot!"
"Thank you for your cooperation," one of the officers said. "We do have to issue a warning this time."
"But it was the parrot who started it!" Snotlout grumbled.
"Yes, and we will be speaking with your neighbour as well." Snotlout nodded at this and wondered how that would go. He didn't have to wait long as a parrot screech was heard through the hallway a few minutes later shouting "PoPo PoPo!"
- o -
RULE 8: No matter what type of dragon you have and how long you have worked with it, it will always like Hiccup better than you
Snotlout had noticed this was one of the immutable laws of nature: all dragons loved Hiccup better than their own Riders (except Toothless, who already had Hiccup as a Rider). And it was never more obvious than on Bath Day.
All the dragon riders took their dragons to the full-service dragon wash on Eel Street in lower Berk every weekend and for once, Snotlout was determined not to be the last to finish. He and the twins had a competition for who could finish the first and of course Dagur and Heather had got wind of the competition so they were in on it as well. Even Astrid had that dangerous gleam in her eyes-as the most competitive person on Berk, Snotlout realized he was in trouble. Only Hiccup wasn't in on the wager.
Of course, he knew something was up when all his friends hosed their dragons down at a hundred miles an hour and began scrubbing like lunatics, bubbles and foam flying left and right. Damp from splashes by everyone else, Hiccup wiped the soap suds from his face and planted his hands on his hips.
"Okay-so what is going on?" he demanded. There was a guilty silence from everyone, broken only by the trickle of water from the hoses.
"Um...just a small dragon-washing competition, babe," Astrid admitted, swiping the damp hair off her forehead.
"WHAT?"
"Yeah-the first one to finish gets everyone else to clean his dragon for a month!"
"What do you mean his?" Astrid growled. "I'm winning this thing!"
"In your dreams, Astrid," Snotlout said smugly. "I'm clearly going to win."
"Er, dude-haven't you noticed there are two of us and only one dragon?" Tuff asked as he and Ruff head-butted and staggered back, their eyes crossed.
"It's not a competition!" Hiccup groaned.
"Yes it is-for the honour of Berserk!" Dagur grinned. "Especially since I have been training Sleuther to clean his own tail and use it as a scrubbing brush!" Heather groaned.
"Much as I love Windshear, she takes hours to polish…"
"Guys…"
"Meatlug has a smaller surface area to volume ratio than any of you others so I will obviously win!" Fishlegs commented smugly, scrubbing away rapidly. "Aren't you, my Meatluggy-wuggy!"
"Yeah-but the best fun is going to have Captain Pegleg there cleaning our dragon for us," Ruff commented.
"Not a competition!" Hiccup reminded them.
"Oh yes it is-it's always a competition!" Astrid said and winked at him. "And it's on…"
"I'm not…"
"Okay, all I have to do is sluice Hookie down and I'll have Hiccup on claw-cleaning duty for a month…"
Folding his arms, the auburn-haired rider scowled.
"Okay-it is so on," he said and turned to the others with a sudden smile. "Little help, guys?"
"Oh come on-that is so…" Snotlout began.
"...utterly…" Ruff continued.
"...hopelessly…" Tuff continued.
"...pathetic…" Dagur managed before Hiccup grinned-and all the dragons pulled away from their owners and nuzzled eagerly at Hiccup before splashing water over Toothless and helping the one-legged Rider to scrub him down. Sleuther, Stormfly, and Meatlug scrubbed, Barf and Belch blew water all over him to wash off the suds and Windshear used her tail to trim his claws. Finally, Hookfang gently flamed and dried the Night Fury off.
The Riders all stared at Hiccup as he rubbed their dragons' noses.
"Thanks, guys," he said brightly. "Okay-not a competition-but I win!"
The other Riders folded their arms.
"Unbelievable!" Tuff huffed. "Even when it involves work and washing, which our dragons hate, they do it for Hiccup!"
- o -
RULE 9: See Rule 8; After Hiccup they will like Astrid better.
The Riders all stared at Hiccup as he grinned smugly back from beside his perfectly clean and dry Night Fury and their soapy and still grubby dragons sheepishly walked back to their shocked Riders.
"That doesn't count!" Snotlout announced quickly. "Hiccup wasn't in the competition. So the next person who finishes will win…" Hiccup winked at Astrid and she rubbed her Nadder's neck.
"Guys?" she asked and the dragons all looked at her. As one, they all turned round and ambled over towards Stormfly.
"I don't believe it," Heather grumbled as her dragon began scrubbing the Nadder.
"Hookfang!" Snotlout yelled. "You're supposed to be my dragon!"
"Look, out of all of us, Hookfang likes you least-and he's your dragon!" Ruff giggled as Barf and Belch sluiced Stormfly down. Snotlout tried to grab Hookfang but found himself dragged across the concrete and then lightly singed as his dragon finished drying Astrid's. The blonde folded her arms smugly.
"I win!" she said.
"Okay, so that doesn't count because she's Hiccup's girlfriend and…" Snotlout began but Heather rolled her eyes.
"Snotlout-just give up," she advised. "No matter what you say, you'll come seventh." Grabbing his scrubbing brush, Snotlout glared at his dragon.
"Traitor," he muttered as he began to scrub once more.
- o -
RULE 10: If you are thinking of a career in dragon-keeping, do not. Run away. RUN FAR AWAY!
Eret, the local TV host, was seated on the set. A nervous-looking Snotlout sat next to him fiddling with his microphone.
"Relax," the host reassured him and gave him his million-dollar-smile. Pearly whites gleamed but it did little to stop Snotlout's nervousness.
Snotlout took deep breaths as the countdown to the show began.
"In 3… 2….. 1….. ACTION!"
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," Eret started out smoothly. "And welcome to another exciting episode of Eret's. As usual, I'm your host Eret Eretson and tonight we have a special guest." Snotlout gulped and fixed his tie, nearly jostling the small mic lose. "Now as many of you know, Berk is home to the Dragon Riders and today we have one of them with us. Give a warm welcome to Snotlout Jorgenson, Dragon rider and author of the book 'My Nightmare and I' which became very popular after its publication!"
Snotlout gave a nervous wave as the audience cheered.
"So why don't we get started, shall we?" Eret said as he held up some cards containing questions.
"So what was your inspiration for My Nightmare and I?" Eret asked.
"Uhm...well…..ah… my dragon Hookfang," Snotlout stuttered. The pressure was a lot. He never thought that he'd write a book, let alone have that book become a best seller.
"And what got you interested in dragon keeping?" Eret asked next, undeterred. "Is there any advice you'd like to give those wanting to go into such a career?"
"I do…. DON'T!" Snotlout said forcefully very suddenly, surprising Eret.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't go into a dragon keeping!" Snotlout said as he stood up and started pacing. It looked like he snapped when he started listing off thing that had happened to him. "I get eaten, I get burned, I get thrown into the sea." More pacing followed "Let's not mention getting sat on, losing your pants on a daily basis, having to deal with moody drago-"
ROAR!
A deep roar filled the set and Snotlout whipped his head around to see Hookfang standing backstage, looking mad.
"Now Hookie….." Snotlout gabbled, trying to placate the dragon. "When I said moody I meant…." However, he didn't get to finish that sentence as Hookfang started chasing him. The chase continued backstage and the audience could hear things hitting the floor and Snotlout shouting "HOOKFANG GIVE ME BACK MY PANTS!"
"Well now…." Eret chuckled to his audience. "The profession certainly seems exciti-"
"HOOKFANG NO! DON'T YOU DARE SET MY HAIR ON FIRE AGAIN!" Eret stopped as he was interrupted and that shout was accompanied by more things breaking.
"Never a dull moment on this set," Eret mumbled.
- o -
RULE 11: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, a mushroom a day makes a dragon sway
The gang was sitting on the beach once more, round a nice campfire with sausages, marshmallows, peppers, apples, mushrooms, and fish speared over the flames and various soft drinks and beers being enjoyed by the gang.
"Why on Midgard did you write a book that among other things detailed your Ten Rules of Dragon Keeping?" Hiccup asked his cousin incredulously.
"He's Snotlout-he doesn't need a reason," Astrid pointed out.
"Scratch that-he doesn't even know ten things about Dragon Keeping anyway!" Ruff sniggered.
"But he has contributed to Dragon Lore," Fishlegs noted.
"What? As man with the most incinerated sets of pants?" Tuff asked.
"The most times set on fire?" Ruff suggested.
"Maybe most hair burnt off in one go?" Heather sniggered.
"My eyes!" Tuff moaned in memory. "I had to go for counseling to get over that!"
"No-the amazing observation that chocolate is a bit like weed for dragons and they get completely crazed and horny after eating it," Fishlegs piped up.
"Don't forget squid," Astrid grumbled, leaning against Hiccup. He wrapped his arm around her.
"Yeah-I can't believe Snot was up that tree for four hours…" he commented.
"I wonder if there are any more things that don't agree with dragons?" Heather mused. Snotlout grabbed the skewer and peered at it.
"Leave this to me!" he said unwisely. "Now we know dragons are fine with fish, meat, sausages, cheese-yes, I'm talking to you Meatlug-and burgers so what next? He grabbed a marshmallow. "Okay, Toothless-catch!"
"Wait!" Hiccup yelled but it was too late. The Night Fury leapt and grabbed the melty globule, trying to swallow. His mouth was suddenly filled with mallowy bubbles and he looked alarmed and began to claw pathetically at his gummed up mouth.
"Oh Thor," Hiccup mumbled as the Night Fury tried to blast the mallow away, only succeeding in making himself jump and leaking smoke through his ears.
"Interesting," Snotlout said. "Stormfly-you next!" And he lobbed an apple. The Nadder tried to catch it but miscalculated and the fruit impaled on her nose horn. She gave a distressed roar and raced off across the beach, trying to dislodge the object. Astrid stared in shock.
"Stormfly!" she yelled and ran after her.
"Intriguing," Snotlout commented and grinned, grabbing a handful of mushrooms. "Okay-Hookie, Barf, Belch, Sleuther, Windshear-try these…" He threw the mushrooms at the dragons and they all caught them. And then they froze.
There was a pause as Astrid trudged back and stared at them, Hiccup looked up from where he was trying to scrape the marshmallow from Toothless's jaws.
"Um...what happened?" he asked.
"Barf?"
"Belch?"
"WINDSHEAR!"
The dragons all swayed to the left.
"Um...what was that?" Hiccup asked as Fishlegs looked up from his notebook.
"Oh dear…" he said.
The dragons all swayed to the right.
"Oh dear? What oh dear?" Snotlout demanded.
"Well, the Book of Dragons warns against 'the Evyls of Funghae'," he revealed. The dragons all swayed to the left.
"Are they going to do that all night?" Snotlout demanded. "It's making me queasy!" Fishlegs shrugged.
"No," he said as the dragons all swayed to the right one more time and then promptly fell over, drooling gently. "Ah...so that what 'the Evyls of Funghae' means…"
"They're stoned!" Dagur sniggered.
"So my Eleventh Rule of Dragon Training-An apple a day may keep the doctor away-but mushrooms make dragons sway!" Snotlout announced. Everyone glared.
"WHAT?"
"You do know you have ten rules so you can't suddenly have an Eleventh!" Fishlegs pointed out.
"You know Snot can't count above ten without taking his socks off!"
"And it's not even your rule!'
"Why not? Snotlout shrugged. "I can always keep experimenting with the dragons."
"THOR NO!" the whole group shouted at him as the dragons kept on snoring.
AN: (Or more accurately 2 crazy writers colluding)
Vala: "So that was fun."
Harry: "Oh yes!"
Vala: "Should we tell our dear readers about our new project?"
Harry: "Maybe? Maybe a small teaser?"
Vala: "I OBJECT! I think that is a teaser enough." (Smirks)
Harry: "You sure?"
Vala: "Nothing like a little wordplay."
(Snotlout runs past us with his pants on fire)
Harry: "He should really fix that."
Vala: "Yeah, the pants budget can't take it anymore."