A Snape/Lily AU angsty fic that nobody needed. Set in Snape's POV.
Starts off as canon, but slowly develops into AU. Forgive me if I get anything wrong that was in the books, because, this is a total AU by the end and really, if I change a bit, it might suit this story better (I'm still saying J.K. Rowling is better than me, I'm just adapting some parts to fit in with this universe)
I don't own Harry Potter. I'd love to, but I'll settle to writing bad romance fics instead.
I saw that girl again. The one with the red hair and dark green eyes. I don't know her name, but I want to. She's on the swing, going far too high than it should. She can't see me, obviously. If she did, I'd be in a he'll of a lot of trouble.
Maybe it's time to reveal myself, show her who I am. She'd reject me, and I could stop tormenting myself for not knowing how she feels. It'd be another rejection on the list, another strike against my heart. Another tick on the sheet of paper that marks my hopelessness.
She looks gorgeous with that flower, so ethereal, so otherworldly. She's definitely magical. I wouldn't know, if it wasn't for the stolen moments that I have seen my mother using magic. She knows that Dad hates it, but she just won't. She seems so sad, so submissive to his every demand. He acts like she's something to hide, something secret and dark.
I hope that the girl won't turn out like that. Shunned for her capabilities, told she's a freak, a weirdo. A bit like me, and I know I wouldn't wish that on a girl like her.
It's not her I'm scared of. Just kidding, I'm absolutely terrified. However, it's her sister that makes me scared. She's made of the same things as my father, something inside her that believes that anything that seems out of the 'ordinary' or wrong, or weird, should be destroyed.
I know what she can do. I've seen her with that flower before, making it dance in the palm of her hand, her eyes lighting up with every movement that shows her that she's different, unique. She must know, deep down, that she's not the same as her sister, not the same as any Muggle.
Her sister seems to think that they're being watched. Well, she's not wrong. I think of meeting that girl for the first time, having a normal conversation, maybe even dating her.
The thought consumes me, and draws me into my imagination, long enough for me to think about my face next to hers, drawing closer and closer until-
"Severus? I'm not surprised. I knew you were weird since I saw you with your greasy hair. Watching Lily and me, though? That's the lowest you can go."
Okay, that stings. And, I'll have to find a new hiding place. This one's been rooted out, and now the girl, apparently called Lily, probably hates me. The other girl is gawking at me with a strange expression on her face.
"You're like her, aren't you? You can do...whatever that thing is, can't you? That and spying on us? You're a borderline creep."
I can't control it. It's happened before I can do anything about it. Before I've even processed it. She's flat against the concrete ground of the playground, thrown forwards by yours truly. She gets up, and I can see that she's bleeding.
I have to keep my control. Anything else like this, and I'd be shipped off to St. Mungo's.
Lily doesn't seem to care that I hurt her sister, but looks at me like she's wondering whether her sister was right, whether I am 'like her'. To show her, I lift the swings into the air, to the extent that isn't even physically possible. I let go of my concentration and the swing falls lifelessly to the ground.
Oh, what it is to be like this. An outcast, the fraction of society that can do this, this...magic.
Sure it's weird, but what isn't in the world?
Time Skip- Snape is 11*
"Sev, what's Transfiguration?" Lily asks, grinning at me. "We need Transfiguration textbooks for September."
"It's changing objects Lily, like changing mice into matches," I reply, hiding a smirk as I see Petunia in the distance, skimming stones. I haven't liked her since that afternoon in the playground when we were younger. Frankly, she's kept out of my way and I've kept out of hers, mostly.
We're at Lily's house. Her parents weren't the keenest to see me, considering what Tobias has done recently. I don't call him Father anymore. He doesn't deserve it. Not after what he did to Dedalus Diggle, a friend of my mother's. I hope I don't turn out like him, twisted and dark, not caring who he hurts or how.
"Do you want to go through Tuney's stuff? I'm bored." Lily asks, fully expecting me to agree. Obviously, I do. If there's anything I can hold against Petunia that she can't use against me, that's more ammunition in case she gets the 'smart' idea to try and hurt me, whether mentally or physically. Too bad, Petunia. I'm almost immune to that, a trait taken from my mother's side.
The crinkle of paper. The Hogwarts symbol.
Petunia's written something to Hogwarts obviously, and they've replied.
"Sev, I've found something!
To Petunia Evans,
I am sorry, but you do not meet the requirements for Hogwarts first years, and therefore cannot attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I understand that your sister Lily Evans will be attending in September, but we are unable to offer you a place due to the fact that you possess virtually no magic whatsoever. Please do not contact us again about this subject.
A. Dumbledore and M. McGonagall'
Did you hear that Sev? Tuney wrote to Hogwarts about me! I think she wants to go there!"
Oh, this is comedic gold. Petunia, the Evans sibling with a huge prejudice against magic, trying to apply to Hogwarts. How ironic.
Lily's mother knocks on the door of the room Lily shares with Petunia. Lily hurriedly puts the Hogwarts letter in her pocket to hide the fact that she was snooping
"Severus, your mother's here. She wants you to come home." Great. Right when things were getting interesting.
Platform 9 and 3 quarters is packed with Hogwarts students waving goodbye to family. I can barely see Lily's auburn hair against the crowds. Before I get to her, though, I'm shoved out of the way by another first-year. He has messy black hair, which he's covered in hair spray, so much of the stuff that he may be a fire hazard, and black glasses with round frames.
"Hey!" Lily calls "Leave him alone!" Unfortunately, though, I know this kind of boy. He's that sort of awful, arrogant and full of himself boy who will grow up to be almost a perfect replica of my father, and I know that the world shouldn't have another Tobias Snape.
Finally, after goodbyes from my mother, Lily and I board the train, looking for an open compartment. I see the arrogant boy sitting with some equally annoying boys, but am herded into their compartment by older, stronger kids.
This is going to be a long ride.