Author's Note: This isn't going to be a long story, maybe a few chapters. I'm still working through my block on my other stories. This story is the result of a rabid plot bunny that took refuge in my brain and wouldn't go away. Damn those plot bunnies. And I apologize in advance for the rather random chapter titles. I'm really not good with them.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters - if I did, I'd be really rich and a bit of a Dick.

Never Hang Out With People You Hate Without A Plus One

Chapter One: Of Galas and Monkey Suits

Olivia always liked these cool spring days, right before the heat of summer. Everything smelled all fresh and new and sweet. And even the smells of the city, the smog, the smoke, which could be unbearable in the brutal heat of summer, didn't bother her. Life was good.

Noah was finally hers, Johnny D was dead and she was on her way to becoming Lieutenant. Olivia still had mixed feelings about that, remembering how weary Cragen had become with the politics of his Captaincy. "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," he had told her so many times. She would joke that his red vines were an exotic form of tums to handle all the ulcers his squad (and the brass) kept giving him.

She still missed him. Having to live this new normal without him...it'd been a challenge. And sometimes she wished, oh God how she wished, he was still there with his Red Vines.

Take care of yourself. You deserve it.

Now he was off with Eileen somewhere in the Caribbean. Maybe it was the Bahamas. She wasn't sure. The last contact they'd had was a few weeks ago and he sounded happy. And absolutely delighted about Noah.

"I can't wait to see that boy of yours." He'd told her, a smile lighting up his voice. There had been none of the dark weariness that had clouded his voice and face in those many years at Manhattan's Special Victims Unit.

"And he can't wait to see you." She had smiled. Noah was starting to talk now and, unfortunately, his first word had not been mama but 'no.' Now he wouldn't stop using it.

"Noah, time for bed."

"No."

"Noah, time for your bath."

"No."

"Noah, time for your disgustingly mushy peas." Okay, so she left the "disgustingly mushy" part out.

"NO."

She had told Don that and he had laughed. "It doesn't get easier, Olivia." He chuckled. "Just wait until he's a teenager and those hormones hit."

For a moment, she had thought, Oh holy God, what have I done, but that moment didn't last more than a few seconds. Noah had been the best thing to ever happen to her and she wouldn't exchange any crazy, tumultuous, (occasionally vomited filled) moment of motherhood for anything on this earth.

Olivia couldn't help but smile as she remembered Don's parting words to her as they ended their last conversation. She had mentioned some of her concerns about becoming Lieutenant and while he had understood, he also had encouraged her to go for it. He had always believed in her - always given her far more "get out of jail free" cards than she had deserved - and, despite being retired, he would always - to some degree - be her mentor.

"As much as I hate to say it," he'd said, "Tucker's right. If you don't do it now, they'll put someone new in your place. I know you'd rather be on the street – and Fin too, and, God, how I understand that – but for the sake of the squad, you need to bite the bullet. I won't deny it's a gigantic pain in the rear but if anyone can do it, you can."

So she had reluctantly agreed. Told him that she would sit the Lieutenant's exam.

"That's my girl."

And here she was, on a cool April day, walking into work - on her day off - because she had gotten an odd call from Deputy Chief Dodds. It wasn't urgent, he had reassured her, but he had wanted to see her "at her earliest convenience."

In other words, get your ass down here, Benson.

Luckily, Lucy was available so Olivia had left a delighted Noah chomping on some froot-loops in her care. Noah very rarely got to have sugary treats so while he'd been slightly upset that she was leaving, the moment the cereal had touched his mouth, it was like she was invisible.

Why are you leaving me, Mommy….oh WAIT, I NEVER GET TO HAVE FROOT-LOOPS, YAY!

While she felt a little guilty about bribing her child with treats, it was easier leaving him happy than crying.

She could never handle his tears well.

Walking into the precinct, Olivia put her peacoat on the hanger and walked to her office where she saw Dodds flipping through some case files.

"Afternoon, Deputy Chief," she said pleasantly. Dodds turned around and nodded. "Afternoon, Sergeant." And this time he was almost… nice – which threw her for a moment. She wasn't accustomed to his civility – normally, he was on her ass about something.

"Do you have plans April 16th?" He asked.

"Only working, sir." She responded.

"Not planning on going to the NYPD Gala?" He asked.

"Not particularly, no." She said slowly. Olivia despised those types of functions. Just a bunch of rich people standing around and schmoozing. And, although they raised a lot of money for charity, Olivia secretly wondered whether most of it didn't go to line some of the pockets of the top brass. But she never vocalized that.

Plus, the whole make-up, dressing up part of it – she hated it. She was always much more comfortable in her work clothes or sweatpants at home – wearing anything too dressy around a rambunctious toddler was just asking for trouble. It'd only taken her a few times of baby spit up on some of her nicer clothes for her to figure that out.

#NewMomProblems

"Well, now you are." Dodds closed the case file firmly.

"I'm sorry but is that an order?"

"I don't like to think of it that way. Just think of it as a strongly worded request with no option to say no."

"But, sir…"

"Sergeant Benson," he said, a hint of exasperation strong in his voice, "if you're planning on rising up through the ranks, you're going to have to get involved with the politics of the job. Consider this a test run."

No is not an option. The unspoken words were crystal clear.

God, Liv hated being boxed in like this but she wasn't going to fight him on it. Pick your battles wisely, Olivia, Cragen had told her once. And don't wage a war when you don't have to.

"Yes, sir," she said resignedly.

"Good." He gave her a tight smile and walked past her. "I'll see you April 16th."

"Oh," Dodds spoke over his shoulder as he headed towards the precinct door, "you might want to bring a guest. There'll be dancing."

Oh, hell no.

Liv barely managed to refrain from rolling her eyes as Dodds walked out the door. Great. Just great.

There was no way in hell she was going through this misery all on her own.

And she knew exactly who she was going to call.

A slow smile spread across her face and a twinkle appeared in her eye.

Olivia Benson knew the perfect person for this assignment.

He was going to HATE it.

But if she was going to suffer through this evening, she'd be damned if she was doing it alone.

…...

"No."

"It's just one evening. Only for a few hours."

"No."

"There'll be bourbon."

There was a pause over the phone as if the person on the other line was seriously considering the proposal.

"Will the brass be there?"

"Yes. And the Mayor. And the..." Olivia named a few of New York's richest and elite families.

"Then not just no but hell no."

"You're starting to sound like Noah." Olivia mumbled under her breath.

"Oh, he's still using the word I taught him then?"

"That was YOU?" Goddamn you to hell, Hank Voight, I'm going to kick your ass.

Voight barked out a laugh. "Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

"I knew it. You owe me, you son-of-a-bitch."

"Good to hear from you too, Olivia. Seriously. It's been a long time."

"Too long." She agreed, with a small smile.

"You've been on my mind. Especially that time when you..." and the voice on the phone starts down memory lane.

"Henry Voight, you stop that!" Olivia scolded the rough-around-the-edges Chicago Sergeant, her friend, and occasional friend with some damn good benefits. That thing he did with his mouth...goddamn it, now he's gotten her started.

"So do I get anything out of this deal?" She could practically see him smirk over the phone line.

"Yeah." She said consideringly.

"And?" Benson could hear his ears perk up – if that was even possible.

"You get to see me squeeze my ass into a ball gown, eat dinner without busting out of said ball gown and try to suck up to the brass." She grinned.

"One, I can't wait to see that ass. Two, I'd enjoy seeing you "bust" out of that gown..." he grinned, "three, the only person you should be sucking...up to is me."

Liv rolled her eyes. "Promise me you're going to behave. My boss is going to be there and the last thing we need is you pulling your shenanigans around New York high society."

"Me? Misbehave?" He said innocently. "What makes you think I'd even try to do something like that?"

Olivia rolled her eyes again. "That better have been a rhetorical question."

On the other end of the phone, the Chicago cop simply grinned.

"Okay, then, it's settled. April 16th. Can you get a flight out here?"

"Sure. I just need to make sure the kids don't burn down the house."

Olivia sighed but smiled a little. "Don't you think you need to let the reins relax a little there?"

"Would you let Noah try to run your kitchen?"

Deliberately refraining from pointing out that her son was a toddler and his squad members were grown adults, she let him have his point.

"See you soon, Hank. Thanks for helping me out. It'll be fun." Olivia was lying through her teeth but she was determined to make the best of this.

"Okay, let's be clear- an evening of hanging out with the brass, trying to be nice to fancy-ass New York pansies and wearing a monkey suit does not equal fun for me. For a cop, you're a horrible liar. Fun, my ass. You owe me big time, Benson."

"You taught Noah to say no!"

"You're making me hang out with those people. For an evening. With dancing." He spat out with disgust.

"Call it even?"

"Not even, Olivia. You owe me."

"And how do you think you're going to collect?" She grinned.

"I think you know." His gravelly voice got softer and deeper.

And her face flushed. "Well, okay then. I'll see you on the sixteenth."

"It's a date."

"No, it's not." They'd never defined what they had and Olivia was not about to start now. Plus, she hated dates. They never ended well.

"Now who sounds like Noah?" Voight teased.

And grinned as he heard something like a muffled "bite me" as Olivia hung up the phone.

Maybe the sixteenth wouldn't be so bad after all.

For either of them.