"To say I'm in love with you is a complete understatement," The words slipped from her lips as she watched her best friend sleep. Six months ago, Jane Rizzoli faked her death. Charles Hoyt had connections with someone who'd been mimicking his M.O. in another city. Instead for letting the news slip to the media, Unit Chief Cavanaugh and Jane decided the best way to keep her family and friends safe was to just pretend to die. She wasn't in witness protection. That would mean that someone other than Cavanaugh would have to know she was alive. Killing Detective Marino gave Jane the perfect escape. No one would question how she died.
Maura began to stir in her sleep. She didn't even know that the woman she'd fallen in love with, the woman she'd thought she lost, was standing right above her. The words seemed like a dream. She always dreamt Jane saying those words. Jane knew Maura would be waking up soon so she decided now was the time to leave the woman that owned her heart. Jane sent a kiss in Maura's direction, though otherwise she left the woman.
Twelve hours later.
Maura's POV.
"I think I might be suffering form Dyspepsia." I told Detective Barry Frost. "It's common. Just an upset stomach." I informed him when his facial expression gave off the idea that he didn't understand what I was saying. "Though, it could be more serious. For now, facts just prove to be an upset stomach."
"Do you get those a lot?" Barry asked, trying to keep his eyes off the body between us. I glanced towards the sink. It was only fifteen feet away from us.
"Lately," I sighed. "Since...Jane..." I didn't have to finish. I didn't have to say anything else because Barry already knew what I was going through. I wondered if he'd been suffering as much as I did physically. "Cause of death was her slit throat." I didn't bother to use the proper terms with Barry. He made it clear it annoyed him.
"Thanks, doc." Barry took off his gloves. He was leaving. I sighed and looked down at the body in front of me.
"You look like Jane." I noticed it when they'd brought her in. I hadn't bothered going to the crime scene. I let someone else go for me. It'd been too close to Jane's old apartment. Jane's old apartment. Something snapped inside my mind. The woman looked like Jane. She was probably the same age as Jane. Her body was dropped off near Jane's old apartment. Before I could go after Barry, he'd been standing at the door again.
"You don't think..." He couldn't finish.
I nodded. "I think so..." I walked around the table. "But...who could he have gotten to...do...his...this time?"
"Maybe...when he came after her the second or third time." Barry offered. I was leaning against the threshold of the door. "We have to tell Cavanaugh. We have to tell Frankie and Angela...and Frank."
"We have to make sure we're right." I told him. "I'll tell Angela and Frankie...as soon as we have proof."
"Doc," Barry looked at me. "What proof do we need? The time we spend on looking for the proof is the time we'll waste catching this son of a bitch."
"We can't just assume! It could be a coincidence." I would never assume anything. I couldn't. I had no proof.
"Fine," Barry turned, suddenly. He was angry with me. The only friend of Jane's I had left. Vince Korsak gave up on me. "You'll deal with the next body on your table." His voice was cold. He was gone before I could say anything to him.
Jane's POV
It was time. It was time to tell her that I was alive. It was time to tell them all that I was alive, still. How could I reopen their broken hearts? They all had every right to hate me but I needed them. I didn't need them to protect me. I needed them to protect themselves. Maura would be the first person I'd tell. If I could enter the precint without being noticed by anyone. I knew it was a longshot, but I had to try. My hat draped down over my face.
"Excuse me," I heard from behind me. I only stopped. "You'll need to take your hat off." The man ordered. I removed the hat, but as soon as I did, the person in front of me stopped in her tracks. Ma.
"Janie..." My mother didn't have time to see if it'd really been me. She was on the floor in the next moment.
"Ma!" I called to her. I was at her side, as fast as I could possibly be. "Call an ambulance!" I ordered the Uni behind us. I could hear him fiddling with the phone. The elevator doors opened and Maura stepped out of them. She looked down at us, more worried about my mother. She hadn't realized that she'd been sitting right next to me. She looked up. The surprise on her face said it all. This was not how I wanted any of this to happen. Maura stared at me.
"Jane..." Was all she could gasp. Her attention was pulled back to my mother when the Uni returned with information about the ambulance. "Thank you," Her hands fumbled against his as she pushed his fingers away from my mother's unconsious body.
"I'm just trying to help, ma'am." He said to her.
"I'm a doctor." Maura was staring down at my stomach. That's where I'd shot myself all those months ago. "She'll be fine."
"Okay." The man gave up with a sigh. He stared at me for a moment. "Jane?" His tone brought me back to reality. "I thought you died."
Though I had no idea who this man was and I had no idea how he knew me but I smiled, slightly. "Guess Jesus is alive." I tried to joke, but the words came out too quiet and nervous. When the paramedics made it to us, which was easy for them, they were already attending to my mother. I stepped away to give them the space they needed. Maura stayed next to my mother the entire time. She even got into the ambulance with her.
"Janie." I heard from behind me. The voice was familiar. Too familiar.
"Frankie." I turned with a smile. I embraced him into my arms, quickly. I could feel his tears on my neck. "It's okay, Frankie." I knew I should've been prepared for this. I couldn't quite possibly be prepared to hold Frankie as he cried. I couldn't possibly be prepared to attend to my mother when she fainted. I couldn't possibly be prepared for Maura. She looked...okay.
"What the hell?" He pulled away, suddenly. There it is. That anger I'd prepared myself for. I knew he and Ma would resent me.
"I had to." I tried to explain but he was pushing me. "Frankie, come on." His jabs weren't too hard. He knew I could take it. He knew I would take it without hitting him back. "He's back." I finally said.
Frankie's hands stopped right in front of my chest. "What?" He wiped his eyes.
"The surgeon..." I noticed Vince and Barry coming from the elevators. "Charles Hoyt escaped...again."
Maura's POV.
How dare she? How dare she? How dare she? How dare she? How dare she? How dare she? It didn't matter how I asked myself that question repeatedly in my own mind, I'd have the same answer. Which was nothing.
"Ms. Isles?" I heard from near the door. I turned to the doctor. "Angela's going to be fine. She hasn't been eating well."
"Neither of us." I glanced to the tray of food a nurse had brought in for the both of us. "I'll make sure she eats this when she wakes up." I promised. I knew I could keep that promise. I could keep that promise because Jane was alive. Jane was alive. Jane was alive. Jane was alive. Jane was alive. The thought echoed in my head, almost distracting me.
"Great," The doctor smiled to me. He was my age. He was very handsome. If I'd met him three years ago, I definitely would've been intrigued to get to know him. If I'd met him before I got to know Jane. "She's ready to go whenever she's comfortable to."
"Don't give her that option," The doctor and I looked to the direction from which the voice had startled us. "She'll never leave." Jane.
"Do you know the patient?" Doctor Campbell looked down at the chart.
"I'm her daughter." Jane stared at her mother, now. I could tell she'd felt guilty. She should've. She did it. She left us. She left me to take care of her erratic mother for her when Frank left her. When Frankie gave up on achieving anything because by Jane's example, being successful meant you'd die an untimely death.
"Ah," Doctor Campbell smiled a welcome. "She's fine." He set the chart down at the foot of her bed in a holder made for it. "I'll leave you all..alone." Did he sense how much I wanted to hurt her? He couldn't have otherwise he would have had security drag one or both of us out of the building.
"You faked your own death." I didnt' bother looking up at her. I could tell my voice was flat. It was odd how I could pull such a thing off when my mind was racing with different emotions.
"Yes." She took a seat on the otherside of her mother. "He's back, Maur." Her eyes searched mine, pleadingly. She wouldn't get her way this time with those big brown eyes.
"You should've killed him when you had the chance." My words were too cold. I could see I'd stunned her. Her body tensed up and she just dropped her eyes to her lap. I watched her fiddle with something on Angela's wrist. When the older woman began to stir, Jane stood, ready to take in whatever her mother had to throw at her. Which hopefully, in my own selfish desires, was a chair or a rock or something that would hurt her.
"Janie?" Angela had no trouble adjusting her eyes to the fluorescent lighting. She probably thought she was still asleep. "God, I'm dreaming. Did I die?"
"No, ma." Jane's fingers were raking her mother's hair. "I'm right here, ma." She wouldn't tell her mother why she'd left and come back. I knew her. She wouldn't tell her mother until it was absolutely neccesary.
Angela's reaction settled all of my hopes and desires. She slapped Jane across the face. The noise turned the heads of passing strangers. Some even stopped, afraid they should interfere. "How dare you!"
"I deserved that." Jane shook her head, accepting the pain. She pulled away from Angela, though.
"Do you know what I've been through, Jane?" Angela was assisting my help to accompany her with yelling at her daughter. I reverted my eyes somewhere else in the room. I would not be dragged into this. I hated Jane on a much deeper level. I wouldn't forgive her. I didn't have unconditional love for her.
"Ma," Jane tried but her mother only slapped her again, this time on the arm to shut her up.
"You are just like your father, Jane Rizzoli. Selfish. You don't care about anyone other than yourself." I queued the music in my mind. "You leave people and you're only worried about yourself. I don't care what ever your reasoning was, Jane. I don't care! It was still selfish. What ever it was, we could've protected you. We could've helped you!" Angela's words were covered by a shaky voice. She was crying.
"I did it to protect you, Ma!" Jane was also crying but she kept a safe enough distance from Angela. She didn't want to get hit again. "I did it to protect all of you! Do you think I fucking cared whether or not I died? I didn't want any of you to get hurt. I shot myself to protect, Frankie. How could you call me selfish?" Her words stung. They were true. Jane wasn't selfish. She just didn't think clearly.
"Janie," Angela's voice was calmer, quieter. "I love you, so much. Janie, I love you so much." She reached to pull Jane into a hug. When their bodies connected, I heard sobs from both women. I knew I should give them this time to themselves. I slipped away from the room, closing the door behind me.
Two hours later.
I brushed my toes against the carpet as some broadcasting of a baseball game dimmed my living room. I was too busy running my fingers through Jo's hair. She watched the game, as I did so. I spent a lot of nights like this since Jane faked her death. This is how Jane and I spent most of our nights. She watched a game with Jo and I, while I ran my fingers through Jo's hair and my attention was caught on something completely different than the broadcasting. Jane never noticed. If she'd ask me if I saw an amazing play by the players, I'd simply tell her I'd missed it.
She was too oblivious and at peace to notice that I wasn't ever paying attention to the game. Jo jumped off of the couch and ran around it.
"Where are you going, girl?" I looked leaned over the top of the to find Jo laying next to Bass. I smiled then turned back around. My fingers searched for the remote while my eyes focused on the people on the television. When I found the remote, I simply pressed the biggest button on it, turning off the television. I was off the couch and walking to check the alarm system only seconds later. In my haste to towards the door, I noticed moving shadows near the door. I was going to go grab the gun I'd inherited from Jane's mother that had belonged to Jane, but I'd seen Jane on the other side of the window now, looking into my house.
"Open the door." She ordered. It wasn't pleading, it wasn't impatient, it was just a command. I obliged as my fingers lazily fumbled with the bolt lock. Before I could even get my fingers to the knob, it was turning and the door was opening.
"What are you doing here?" I looked towards my kitchen to see what time it was. I knew it wasn't too late. I just didn't expect to see her outside of my house, peeking in.
"Did you know this was here?" She pointed to the welcome mat.
"Yeah-" My answer was cut short when I saw something glisten from that direction. I took an actual look at the welcome mat. There was a scapel there. "No...I didn't know."
"Don't worry, I already called 911." She quickly closed the door behind her.
"Okay..." I looked up at her. She looked tired. She looked like she hadn't slept right since she faked her death. "Then...what are you still doing here?"
"I have to protect you." She said, bravely.
"I can take care of myself, thank you." I was reaching for the door to open it but her fingers caught my wrist. She pulled my arm away from the door. "Jane, stop it." I tried again but she only completed the motion again.
"I have to protect you." She repeated, emphasizing ever single word, carefully. I glared up at her but I accepted defeat. "I hear you have Jo Friday." She looked around.
"She's over there." I pointed towards the living room. Jane didn't even wait for my permission to enter my home any further than she'd already had. I couldn't make out the figures but I assumed she'd found Jo when she began talking.
"Hi, girl." Jane whispered. "Did you miss me?"
Jo barked once.
"I missed you too, girl." Jane laughed. "Stop!" I heard licking sounds from them. I rolled my eyes and turned on the closest light. It lit up the kitchen and dining room. "Can we talk, Maur?"
"Don't call me that." I had my back turned to her. "You lost those rights."
"Everyone is mad at me." Jane was closer but not too close. She was smart enough to keep her distance. "I know I hurt everyone else. I know I hurt you. I just need you to listen to me right now."
"Fine." I turned to her. I held a cup of tea in my hand. "Explain."
"A year ago, in Chicago, there were murders that mimicked his precisely."
Jane's POV
"He got to someone, Maur-Maura." I corrected myself, quickly. I didn't miss the face she made but I continued, ignoring it. "Three women that looked a lot like me. They were all cops. Not detectives but cops. They still haven't found the guy."
"How do you know it's a guy?" Maura turned away from me. "Last time it was a woman." She looked outside her windows. The lights from the police cars were still flashing.
"Okay...they still haven't found the UnSub." I corrected, a bit annoyed. She was doing it on purpose. "When I shot myself, I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to delude him into thinking he'll never be able to kill me himself. I thought I'd be able to protect all of you, but after Cavanaugh recieved an anonymous letter stating that he'd just simply kill all of the people closest to me because all of you made me who I am, anyway, I knew I had to get back her. So, I came back, but I kept my distance. I would try protecting all of you. He must've noticed me watching all of you because then I recieved an anonymous letter at my hotel room."
"Inside of the envelope was pictures of me watching you. Specifically you. Althought he stated in the letter that he knew I was watching my family and friends just as he had been, he noticed that I protected you the most. He escaped the night I recieved that letter." I'd been rubbing the scars on my hands. It was a habit when I was nervous or deep in thought.
"Jane..." Her tone was cautious. She was going to say something else but a knock on the door interrupted her. She didn't say anything, she actually seemed relieved that she didn't have to say anything. A sigh escaped her lips when her back was turned to me. I followed behind her, closely. Ready for an attack if there had been any threat.
"Dr. Isles?" A scrawny Uni asked as he held the scapel in an evidence bag. "We were aware this was on your porch?"
"Not until Jane called you." She informed.
"We'd like to ask you some questions." He had his notepad ready.
"In the morning." Maura told him.
"But...ma'am." He was caught off guard.
"Look, Shawn is it?" She tried to read the name on his uniform. "I'm the Chief Medical Examiner. My answers from tonight will be the same in the morning. So, you or anyone else can ask me in the morning." Shawn flashed me a look but thanked her and left. Maura closed the door again. She could feel me right behind her so she waited until I took a few steps back.
"I can't leave you here, unprotected." I told her as I followed back to the living room. Maura sat down on the couch, I took the loveseat across from it. I would've sat next to her if I hadn't been too afraid of her slapping me like Ma had. Ma held back when she slapped me, Maura was pissed enough to hit me as hard as she wanted.
When Maura didn't say anything, I watched her, studying her expressions. Anger, fear, remorse, pain, disbelief, and that was the cycle for fifteen minutes. "What are you afraid of?" I finally asked her when fear had stayed on her face, breaking the pattern.
"That I'll wake up," Maura whispered without looking at me.
"And I won't be here." I finished for her. I'd been afraid of the same thing for months. I kept dreaming that I'd actually died, so eventually the nightmares escaped into reality. "I'm not going anywhere, again. I promise."
"Until you really die." She looked up at me. "I actually thought you were dead." She searched my eyes. "I refused to do your autopsy. Who did they have do that?"
"Cavanaugh told them that you would, and your assistant was told that the hospital would." I offered up. I knew the only way back into her heart was to be honest. Even if it meant that I would have to break her heart all over again.
"What are you going to do about him?" She was careful not to say his name.
"Track him down." I sighed. "Track him down and kill him once and for all."
So, here's the thing. I'm uh...I'm going through Chemotherapy. So that's why I'm trying to publish this as soon as possible. The story is fairly long, but when I'm feeling up to it I'll publish it as quickly as possible. Read, review, recycle and by recycle I mean seriously...save the earth. Go pick up that trash on your floor and sort it out.