A/N: I wanted to honor what iamconstantine gave us as she grew as a writer back then. There may be some minor (and major) alterations to her AU canon. Also, Adam Muto stated the TV series canon and comic series canon are separate, possibly different realities or alternate realities. I use this to an extension with Fionna and Cake and their collective comics. But there may be some Easter eggs sprinkled in there for fun!
Fionna- A thirteen-year-old female adventurer/heroine that resides in the Grasslands of Aaa. She sports a white bunny hood-esque hat that covers her golden blonde hair save for a fringe of bangs, has button eyes that are sapphire when enlarged, a blue shirt that's a size too large for her with a pocket sewn to the left chest, denim overall shorts, shin-high white socks with two blue stripes on the top, and a pair of black combat boots with white dorsums. She wields a ruby sword that can retract in on itself and revert into a shard, which she pockets in her hat or backpack. She also dons a circular green-verdant backpack filled with gimmicky knick-knacks, tools, necessities, and other such paraphernalia, which she is always almost never without. She is missing a few teeth due to biting rocks and trees and two buckedteeth to give her a "rabbitish" look. She is the younger, adoptive sister to Cake, having been raised by two cats: Julia and Maverick, along with their sister Jeraldine.
Cake- A twenty-nine-year-old cat that lives with Fionna in their Tree House. She sports pearly white fur with a sandstone spot over her right eye, all paws up to the wrists/ankles, belly, ears, and tail tip. She has pale blue eyes with slit pupils. She dates Lord Monochromicorn and knows Morse Code. Her tail frizzes out when she senses danger, on edge, stressed, or excited. Her pupils dilate when she experiences these too. She also plays a mean dulcimer. She is the daughter of two cats named Julia and Maverick, along with her sister Jeraldine and adopted sister Fionna. She apparently has a morning star with a demon eye on the hilt, but rarely uses it, since she can shapeshift.
The Hind- A dusky taupe colored female reindeer who terrorized the Candy Kingdom's citizens. She has velvety, chestnut antlers, a paler underbelly, and dark cloven hooves. She is a mute menace. Her snout is a darker shade of brown than her main coat. She has these intense, beady eyes, and can rear back and walk on her hindlimbs.
Prince Gumball- A 19-year-old gum-based humanoid and Fionna's crush. He is the prince of the Candy Kingdom. Prince Gumball has the same color scheme as his female counterpart. He has pink skin and his hair is somewhat in a quiff. His head is adorned with a small golden crown with a blue jewel. He wears a hot pink shirt with orange-pink puffed sleeves with magenta stripes and under-sleeves (accompanied by dark-pink sleeve cuffs), a large matching collar with a small blue jewel inside a gold crest on it. He has a belt with another gold crest and a small blue jewel design on the buckle, purple striped dark-pink trousers, and dark-purple shoes. Unlike his female counterpart, he also has visible pink eyebrows. Also, when his eyes, enlarge, they are purple. Kind of like how when Fionna's eyes enlarge they look exactly the same, only hers are blue. He also has ears, unlike his female counterpart. His loyal companion is Lord Monochromicorn. His full name is Bobbi Ned, and one of his nicknames is Bubba.
Butterscotch Maid- She is a small butterscotch with humanoid arms and legs, and sports a sacramento green onesie tux. She has a few buttons up the middle and a verdant bow tie. She is Prince Gumball's right-hand woman and loyal maid, and has latent demonic-worshipping streak about her. Unlike Peppermint Butler, she has sharp black eyes.
Starchie- A squat female maltball with tannish skin, short locks of brown hair beneath a cobalt casby, and like her male counterpart, sports a rocking brown mustache. She's a bit kooky and works as a gravedigger.
NO ONE WITHIN EARSHOT
Fionna and Cake compress their collective hands/paws to their ears while presumably screaming out with shut eyes.
"AAAAAAHH! NO TOUCHIES WITH THE TONGUIES, YOU WEIRDO!" a female maltball citizen, Starchie, cried out.
A female reindeer had pinned her down with her cloven fore-hooves, ravenously coating the poor candy subject in magenta dribble. It was rather disturbing. Starchie writhed fruitlessly beneath the ungulate, unable to pry her hooves off from her circular body. She was on her stomach in the middle of the gingerbread-laiden street of the Candy Kingdom near where civic buildings stood. Shops and such. One such shopkeeper, a humanoid taffy woman draped in a black apron and name tag that read "Taffitha" stepped out onto her shop's porch with a pretzel stick broom, but as she witnessed the chaos ensuing, she promptly stepped back and shut the door with a SLAM. The door could be heard being deadbolted and locked. It wasn't just her, however, whoever had escaped, shut their shutters, closed their blinds, slammed their doors, even boarding them up with wood.
"We're coming, Starch!" assured Fionna, who was racing beside Cake.
Alert, the doe immediately sprung away like a majestic gazelle, brandishing her velvety antlers at a passing candy girl and uprooting her from the grass, sending her flying into a hapless plantain guard, who yelped as the citizen collided with her.
Prince Gumball, who was handing Starchie a towel, frantically called to the girls, "Be careful, you too! This thing is nuts!"
Coursing through the crowd of distressed subjects, human and cat dogged the ungulate as she tackled Orange Soda Gal, mercilessly coating the sentient mug-headed woman in the slobber. Screwing her head around with a sickening, inhuman crack, she vaulted away. Bucking at a pair of plantain guards before grappling another, the hind split her spear in half with a hoof and began to suckle on her arm. The guard belted a girlish shriek as she felt sticky and tacky liquid almost coagulate against her greenish peel-flesh.
"Cupcake, nab her!" Fionna ordered her sister as the human girl leapt at the creepy cervid.
"Hee-yah cah-shaaaah!" the sandstone-and-white molly* sank her fore claws into the thighs of the furry beast. "Haha! Gotcha, ya caribou!"
(*A molly is another word for female cat.)
Fionna followed suit, subconsciously digging her nails into the ears of the Hind, yanking, as she straddled her by the shoulder blades. Rearing back and pedalling her forelimbs, she began to buck wildly like a bull, catching the two by surprise. Thrashing her hind legs, Cake was subjected to being tossed off, before a nasty kick to her skull rendered her out of commission, her tail bristling. Sne collapsed. Fionna felt her heart sink as she watched her big sister sustain the nasty blow.
"Cakey!" the teen shrilled as she abruptly lost her grip, falling into the tangle of the Hind's antlers.
The Hind jostled her head, before storming off towards a cotton-candy tree. Fionna haplessly slipped forward, her stomach pressed against the flaring nostrils of the cervid and chest on its snout. She clutched the velvety antlers in her hands tightly, clinging for dear life as the Hind stampeded down the street. Pain erupted from her spine as she clashed with a metallic building, her arms bending inward beyond their limits as a precarious snap-snap resounded, and her elbows were on fire. Her ulna and radius on either forearm followed suit, emulating the sound her elbows produced. She bit her tongue and hissed, eyes watering.
"Mm," she croaked. "Okay then."
Yet, the Hind wasn't finished.
Shoveling the human girl up with her antlers, she chucked her behind her, delivering a mighty kick to the human's already aching spine as she flew. Hollering with her arms flapping uselessly, she heard and felt a sharp CLANG-
Darkness.
Gradually coming to, Fionna whimpered. She was splayed on her back, hidden beneath a soft fuschia bedsheet. Gradually prying open heavy eyes with slight splitting headache, colors came into focus and shapes became tangible. Pinks, whites, and everything darker or in between that spectrum came into view, as well as mobile IV drips, heart monitors, gurneys, medical equipment, IV bags, catheters- gross- and so on. Glancing side to side, she saw hospital beds lined against the tall wall. She was in the Candy Infirmary of the castle?
The human teen blinked, half-memories and disjointed images buzzing in her mind, "Geez, what the donk happened here? Where's the reindeer? Dr. Ice Pop?" No answer. "Calling Dr. Ice Pooooop! Ice pops for m'foodhole." She hummed before realizing she couldn't exactly see her arms. Or, feel them. She cycled her feet, stirring the blanket above her. As the sheet was removed, she gasped as a cast was plastered around her entire chest, shoulders, and arms. Two metal bars suspended them at a 45 degree angle. "Ah, dude, I snapped my twigs!" She scoffed, calling out, "Hallooooo? Cakey? Cuuuupcake? … Prince? What the snizz… C'mon, guys."
She spotted two crutches leaning against her bedside. She curled in on herself, wincing, and stood, clasping onto the handgrips, lowering herself gently on the shoulder rests.
And thus, she marched- hobbled- outside.
Ambling on the crutches like someone with Stone Man Syndrome, Fionna ventured onward at uneven paces, her armpits aching. She glanced around the vacant candy streets, feeling a wave of unease. Yet, she swallowed it down.
"Yello? Y'all ups in the synagogue? Pledging your soul to Glob?" she hopped off her feet, pressing one boot on her left crutch and balancing like a seal on a beach ball in a circus act. "Yeehaw! Mastery, mastery!" She promptly fell. Gathering herself and groaning from her sore spine, she detected a faint clattering in an alleyway. "Huh?"
Fionna doddered over to the heart of the noise, her heart abruptly soaring in staccato speeds.
"C… Cake?" her eyes watered as she gazed upon the hooded, plumpish white-sandstone creature sifting in a dumpster. "C-Cupcake?"
Whipping around in what appeared to actually be a garbage bag with tatters at the end and a drawstring tying it around the user's neck, cerulean eyes dilated, tail frizzing. "Fifi!?" Rushing over she dropped her loot, her head concealed by the garbage bag hood. "Fionna, honey! You're awake!?" She softly coiled herself around her adoptive little sister.
She nuzzled into her sister's caked, albeit soft fur, "Heh, yeah, but my grill's all jacked up!" She glanced stiffly down at her cast.
Cake frowned, blinking as she softly ran her paw down one of the metal suspenders. She hummed, "Right, yeah… I noticed that."
Fionna leaned down, resting her chin on her sister's chubby side, "What's the deal? Did you rescue everyone from Antlers?"
Cake blinked, her eyes spacey, "Eeeeeh, yeah. I believe. Probs. Or somethin…"
Fionna glanced around, remembering the streets were spotless of citizens and their usual hustle-and-bustle, "So… Did ya notice that no one is around? Freaky. Usually we see the Kit Clan causing Kit-Clan mischief, or Cinnamon Bun doing something… CB-y."
Cake just stretched back to the dumpster, still coiled around Fionna via her stomach like a spring. She acted standoffish almost… Peculiar, but Fionna shrugged it off. This was still her sister. Cake hummed a small medley, "Mhm, mhm, creepies." She recoiled as a rat squeaked at her, causing her to simply close the dumpster lid. She drew back the hood of her black garbage bag cape. Fionna blinked in surprise as she saw bandages woven around her sister's cranium,
Which she tentatively reached for but winced when Cake touched it herself, "Ouchie. Don't worry your pretty lil' head, Fifi; they're all just hiding."
The human girl blinked, "Wait, why?"
"They're hiding from me!"
"Yeah but… why?"
"It's my b-day, girl! Lord Monochromicorn is elaborating a top-secret…" she stretched her face up close to Fionna, smiling giddily as she paused, glancing around before cupping her paw to her muzzle. "Surprise party!" She giggled like a little schoolgirl.
Fionna pursed her lips as she studied her sister's guazed head. She was skeptical, "He… told you?"
Cake shook her head, "No child, this is cat's intuition." She softly cupped Fionna's head in her paws. "I'm his GF, I know this is something my BF would totes do. Capiche?" She softly petted her little sister's hair fringe.
Fionna gave a small smile, comforted by the contact of her sister, "Uh, yeah. Cah-posh." She paused, before inquired, "Wait, the entire kingdom is roped in on it? Like, everyone? Everyone-everyone?"
Cake pressed her paw she had used to stroke the girl's hair to her lips, "Yes, Fifi, everybody- Orange Soda Girl, Lemon Lime Pop, CB, Mandy, PG, the Kit Clan, the Plantain Guard, the S'Mores Kids, Mrs. Cupcake, Buscotch, Starch-"
Fionna, being unable to use her arms, screamed loudly, "Okay! Okay! Okay! Cupcake, I get it! Everyone!"
The cat squinted, "Yeah, so keep it on the down-low. Gotta be quiet. They ain't gonna jump out until the time.." She leaned into her sister. "Is…" Her pupils dilated, almost eclipsing her cerulean schleras. "Right, Fi-o-nna."
Fionna grimaced, a tad uncomfortable, "... Okay, gotcha, sis. And… how do we do that?"
Cake purred, her calm demeanor returning, "Follow my lead." She gathered her loot, which consisted of wrappers, half-eaten foodstuffs, and the like. Maybe a can or bottle or two. Hey, a… shoe? Fionna watched her as the cat softly allowed her to ride on her back. "Oh, I am just a little ole queencat waltzing about my day! Hangin' with my best sis. I'd never suspect someone to surpriiiise me or anything!" She giggled, glancing back on the teen. "Subtlety, sister." She roped some beaded doorway curtains around her. "Now, that we got that covered, let's head to the Shack!"
Fionna was watching her sister bemusedly, yet amusedly, "'The Shack'?"
Cake purred and hummed some off-key medley, something along the lines of a bum's life. Fionna was softly splayed forward on her stomach, looking like a penguin sliding on its belly, against Cake's back, who was the size of a bean bag chair. They were passing into downtown Candy Kingdom where it became more and more decrepit. Gang turf. Land of the bums and pedallers. Cake began to shake her hips, her tail swishing. Fionna yelped as the cat suddenly bucked her a tad, but only to jar her focus onto the feline.
"C'mon, Fifi, sing with me, honey child!" Cake encouraged, her spacey and uncanny gaze piercing into Fionna. "Sing the Fantasy of Vagabonds!"
Fionna gave an uncertain smile as the cat, who was toting a fishnet full of her garbage loot, "I'm not sure how it goes…"
Cake just scoffed, "Like this, Fi." She cleared her throat,
"I got all my treasures
All these reveries! Made out of trash fantasies!
I don't suspect no nothin' with this garbage hood donned
Zoopa-dee-doopa-zee, Fantasies of Vagabonds!"
The human parted her lips to inhale, but was prevented by Cake abruptly halting and announcing, "We're home!"
There stood an old wooden shack behind a barred up old convenience store. The shack stood probably seven feet tall at the most, neglected and stained. It appeared to used to be white, but was now a brownish tint. The roof was made of rock candy of grays. The door had small holes in the wood, a candy cane glued on there for a door handle. Fionna gulped, soaking in the physical details. Cake fished out a key from a pocket she stretched into her fur, hair sticking to the taffy tool. Fionna gagged. Her sister unlocked the door, swinging it open before guiding the two of them in. Reducing her mass, Cake softly dumped her sister onto a tattered and dusty blue bean bag. She placed her cache of trash booty on the floor, unraveling the old fishnet. Fionna watched her in morbid curiosity, questioning the thought process behind selecting such items and this shack especially.
"So, when did ya have time to set up shop in here, Cakey?"
"Oh, this old cat's cradle? Eh, well, not too long ago," Cake pulled out a gaggle of bobbleheads of Prince Gumball. "I just found it after a while of wandering. S'bandoned or something. Just thought it'd work for now."
She strolled over to a small cauldron by an old furnace and sink embedded into the wall. She lit the pit beneath of the cauldron with a lighter, before tossing the plastic contraption aside. She gathered some candy vegetables, plopping them into what appeared to be a broth. She took a rusty kitchen knife, placing some slices of salami onto a cutting board before chopping away.
Fionna stared at her boots, before glancing back over to her sister, "So… what should I do to help?"
Cake's tail twitched, "Gather some spices for the vagabond soup, girl." She resumed her chopping as the soup bubbled.
Fionna smiled, "Oh, alright! I can try!" She stood from the bean bag, stretching her legs and journeying out of the run-down shack.
Venturing out on her crutches, she hobbled over to an empty looking shop. She glanced about, "Vagabond fantasies, lee-del-lee…~" She paused glancing at the cobwebs and dusty shelves and aisles. "Dang, sure it all quiet around here! Yes siree, would be a shame if someone surpised me and made me go wah-wah!" She ambled around a corner towards what appeared to be old living quarters of someone. She peered into the bedroom, before she suddenly took a whiff of something foul smelling. "Gag! Oh Glob, I reek! How long did Cupcake say I was out? A week? I'll have to ask when I get back…" She peered into a bathroom. "Huh, such a practical place to shower." She waddled in, placing her crutches aside. She glanced down at her cast. "... Oh well, showering naked is overrated anyway. Gonna wash me and my clothes in one go." She giggled, "Sure hope no one's hidden, and don't wanna, y'know, see me unlock m'socks!" She kicked off her boots and long socks. She wiggled her toes, feeling them breathe. She doddered into the shower, biting the drapes and dragging them around as she bent over stiffly to turn on the water to mix it. After such, she angled herself to allow water to flow around her, inside her cast, and down to her skin. After a nice shower, she stepped out, shaking herself out like a dog. "Man, that's refreshing!" She just decided to return back to the shack, not after nabbing some spices off a spice rack near an old counter.
Fionna took another look around the buildings as she stepped out on her crutches, spices tucked into her backpack. She hummed in thought. Something wasn't right. Something really wasn't right.
She slowly ambled back, mind heavy with thoughts.
Fionna sat on the dingy, blue bean bag, an empty bowl in her lap. Her crutches leaned against the wall near the door. Knick-knacks and junk littered the room. An infirm mattress was against the wall with mobiles of old stuff hung overhead. There was an old record player in the corner on a wooden end table. Curtains hid a yellowed toilet and one of the smallest showers the girl had ever seen. A small lantern connected to a chain hung from the ceiling. Thats flame, along with scattered wax candles illuminated the room. Fionna sighed.
She barely heard her sister nonchalantly maundering to herself, "Remember to let it cook over a low simmer for forty-five minutes, little sis. Evenly distributes the heat and cooks it juuuuust right. Boils those devilish germies away so you and I won't be sicks." The cat lifted her ladle to sip the meaty vegetable soup.
Fionna jumped as soup was plopped into her worn, plastic bowl. "Stay alert and eat yo vitamins, girly!" Cake reminded her.
The teen girl grimaced, staring at the carrots, turnips, and potatoes settling, "... Cakey… we're sisters, right?"
Cake blinked, pivoting to face her human friend, "Yeeees? Of course. Why, Fifi?"
Fionna stared at her salami-veggie soup, "... I have my uncertainties about your surprise party hypothesis."
Cake immediately dropped her ladle, tail frizzing and eyes dilating, "Hush! Hush! Keep it down, kid! They'll hear us if they're in earshot!" She softly cradled her sister close. Fionna heard the feline's heart thrumming. She pressed into her.
"But what if they're endangered! What if something happened?" Fionna quipped, anxiety rising. Cake shovelled a spoonful of the lukewarm soup into her mouth. She gulped it down, "Thanks. Maybe we should start looking ourselves."
Cake bristled, ballooning in size, "No way, sister, you'll ruin everything!" She fussily tightened her grip on her sister, shoving more soup into her mouth. "Stay here with me!" She suddenly winced, her grip loosening. "Yoooooowwww…" she slightly retreated from Fionna. She gripped her head with one paw.
Fionna frowned, "Sis… are you sure you're fine?"
The cat nursed her head, "Yes, Fionna. I'm perfectly fine!" She returned to her little sister, gathering more soup in the wooden spoon. Fionna was squished again, sandwiched between her sister and the bean bag chair. "Please… please just vow you will not go snooping around!" She spoonfed the heroine again.
Fionna frowned very unhappily, swallowing the soup, "... Okay, I will."
Cake hissed, eyes broadening, and she pointedly directed the spoon at Fionna's face, "Vow it! Cross your heart that you'll vow it!"
Fionna almost leaped out of her cast, "Cross my heart! Cross my heart!"
The sandstone-pearly white molly squinted skeptically, before smiling and purring, "Good." She grumbled bitterly aside, "... because my b-day's gonna rock."
After finishing her soup, Cake retired to the mattress by the eastern wall. A few candles were snuffed out. Fionna was curled up on the bean bag chair. She peered out a small window beside the door she happened to notice just now. She saw movement from around the bend of the old shop the shack was stationed behind. It was familiar… An epiphany occured! She nudged the slide window up with her head.
"Hey, you! Antlers!" Fionna called out exasperatedly. She felt like her arms were being snapped all over again. The reindeer Hind glanced at her with spacey, beady eyes. "Thanks a lot for destroying my arms, y'dumb-bag!" The Hind blinked and licked herself, causing Fionna to gag. The caribou leapt away, frothing magenta.
The human pointed her tongue out, blowing a raspberry, the carrots' taste still lingering. She sighed, before her hearing pricked up. She quirked a brow, glancing over to her sister. Resting. She glanced out the window into the distance. Something sounded like… muttering. It was resonating from an old well. Gathering her crutches, she vaulted herself out the window towards the well. She peered down the mouth. Her heart leaped.
"The Candy folk!?"
Fionna softly prodded her sister, "Cake. Cupcake!"
The cat just grumbled.
Fionna pursed her lips, before grasping her sister's stomach and ruffling the fur. Cake stiffened, before yanking her sister into her arms like her teedee. Fionna couldn't move. The human girl growled under her breath, "Cupcake! Wake up!"
Cake bristled, before staring down at the girl in the half-body cast in her arms, "What, Fifi, what!"
"I heard freaky sounds coming from that old well! We should investigate!" Fionna shrilled.
Cake just stared at her sister, before glaring, "No. You vowed that you wouldn't. Just be patient like your big sis, and wait for the right moment." The cat yawned before shifting onto her other side, her little sister still in her arms.
Something snapped in Fionna, her heart drumming.
"I've waited all day and all night, Cake! I'm tired of waiting for the right moment!" Fionna hissed, temper rising.
Cake's eye clenched ajar, "Well, I've been waiting for half a year, sister."
Fionna stilled, her blood coursing cold.
Half a year, sister.
Half a year.
Half.
A.
Year.
She began to tremble, "Wh-what do you mean?"
Cake pawed at her eye groggily, "I told you everything is okay, even if we're stuck waiting for a lifetime." Fionna saw little mites crawling in her sister's eyelashes. She tried to push away, but her spine ached when she tensed her legs. She whimpered, feeling ill and hysterical.
"I've been knocked out for nearly half of the year!?"
"Yeah, girl, but it's cool. No need to fret. That's only a blink in time."
Cake's grip loosened. More mites wriggled around her eyelids, some crawling under them-
It's over, Fionna. You've lost your sister.
Fionna wriggled softly out of her sister's arms, sniffling. She reached for her crutches after flumping off the gross mattress. She grasped them, glancing at her sister, edging back, before making a b-line to the well. Her heart pounded harshly in her ears, blood coursing, adrenaline pumping-
"F… Fifi?"
No! Almost there!
Her armpits ached as she waddled like a penguin.
"No! Don't! You crossed your heart!"
She steeled herself, lurching side to side-
Gogogogogogogogogogogogo-
She felt something tangle itself around her.
She shrieked.
Cake hissed, bearing her fangs, claws out. She pinched the crutches in half, causing Fionna to collapse just a hair's length from the well. The cat demolished the tools in a fit of rage, her eyes eclipsed with her black pupils. She was frothing from her mouth.
"You vowed!"
Fionna quivered weakly, feeling dazed, as she feebly pawed at the cobblestone well with stiff hands.
Cake stretched her head over to her and bit down on the neck race of her cast, reeling her back. Fionna cycled her searing legs.
She screamed.
"Oh my Glooooooooooooooo-"
Everything went dark.
Everything reset in a haze. Fionna whimpered. She gasped as she felt herself struggling to inhale. She glanced down, white dots sparkling along her gaze. Rusty chains bound her to the cauldron. Thankfully, the pit had been extinguished. Her ankles were also roped together.
She heard shuffling.
She glanced to the side-
"Surpriiiiiiise, Caaaake! For who's a jolly good kitty~, for who's a jolly good kitty~!"
Little dolls made of trash masqueraded along the wooden floorboards, superficially and crudely resembling Candy people. White and sandstone paws orchestrated them like puppets. A spacey look across black and cerulean eyes oversaw the little playtime. Balloon animals on black strings circled her body, and two black anvils on white strings grounded her.
Fionna glanced out the window towards the well. She could almost hear the murmurs getting louder-
"Uh, Cake… What the sneeze are you up to?"
"Gaze upon my vision on how I believe my surprise party will play out!" The cat purred, bouncing the trash dolls into a crudely-made dollhouse, making the ascend a staircase onto the second level where little plastic furniture and food were strewn about with tiny balloons, streamers, and banners. She jiggled them to mimic dancing. "Boogie-woogie, my pals! Oooooh, it's crazy ya'll made it! This makes me so jubilant! Makes an old cat smile! Yow." She clutched her head with a stray paw. While she played with her dolls made of garbage, she pulled up a little black stocking with a rock carved into a horn embedded into its head. A black bread twist acted as the little halo. "Lordy? Did you get the party favors?" She mimicked her boyfriend shaking his head. She frowned, "Well, you better! Because I know some people may try to snatch my presents, and I don't want them doing that."
Fionna gave a small, fearful smile, "May I play with your dolls too? I can give them little cute party haaaats!"
Cake squinted, "You're not gonna pull a fast one on me?"
"No way, girl. I crossed my heart, remember?" Her eyes watered. She felt sick. "Happy birthday, Cupcake. Seriously."
Cake mrrowed in elation, "Fifi, I'm so glad you finally came around! I'll be more than happy to unlock your chains!" She shuffled over, hands still on her dolls, shapeshifting a fang into a key and digging it into an unseen padlock. Fionna exhaled sharply. Her body ached. She was sweating. She felt her ankles loosen. She glanced down as her sister returned to her dolls. She used her left boot to pull down her right sock, seeing beat-red lacerations from the chains. She frowned. Cake would never hurt her like this. But this wasn't Cake.
Finding her resolve, she stood, wobbling. She softly limped over to her sister. An agonizingly farced beam crossed her lips. Cake cooed to her dolls, "Our last guest decided to join us!"
The human teen nodded, temples wetting, "Mhm! And I'm gonna get the party hats ready! Just don't look, I want it to be a surprise! I'll tell ya when to look, okay?" She limped over to the cauldron, and began to heave. Her legs were on fire, her spine feeling like it was being melted with molten lead, her shoulders screaming.
She tumped over the cauldron.
Green soup flooded the shack, dousing candles, drenching trash, and soiling Cake's fur. This was her chance! Fionna knocked the cauldron onto her sister, balloon animals and all, and bailed. She felt like puking, blood in her ears and muscles flaming.
"F… Fionna? You… tricked me?" Cake peeked from under the black cauldron, soaked in soup. She dropped her dolls.
Fionna quickened her pace, mind swimming. She stumbled, falling onto her chest. She caught herself on her sideways wrists. She screamed as her cast shattered, arms freed but burning.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" The bones scraped against each other as she cried out, eyes stinging. She ambled on all fours, a piece of cast still around her left wrist. She felt like a wounded animal, attempting to escape its predator.
Cake clawed out of the house, her avils dragging against the ground, balloon animals keeping her afloat, "Fifi, no! You'll miss the party! Come back! Fifiiiii!" She reached out her arms, tearing up.
Fionna foamed from her mouth, seeing red. She galloped on her still broken arms, nearing the well. She squatted, bunching her muscles, and leapt into the mouth of the well, plummeting into the abyss. The sting of sickeningly sweet water rushed around her as she sank to the pit of the well. A faint magenta light came from a cave below. She paddled helplessly to the light, the last bastion of hope. She felt the water stir around her. She dove earthward to the illumination. She swam through the cave system before resurfacing, gasping for air, and continuing to pound on her hands and boots. She skidded to a halt as an old metal door came to view, magenta glow bleeding from its cracks. She stood and opened it with her sore hands.
Fionna walked through, "H-hello?"
An enormous outcrop with old pipes lining the walls came into view. A sick magenta amber coagulated along the pipelines, cocoons encasing soggy and dissolved candy folk. They were suspended into these disgusting prisons. Fionna turned green, and puked into the gaping hole below where water cascaded into. She trembled standing up. Prince Gumball, once pink and healthy, was now a shadow of his former self. He was pale and lifeless, hair melted and face caving in. His entire frame was encased in the purple gel.
"F… Fionna…" he rasped, his eyes unable to open properly.
She began to cry, edging back.
"Surpise! Surprise!"
Fionna whirled around to see her crazed sister floating at the door's entrance. Fionna blanched.
"You did this to them!?"
"Huh, I did?" She clutched her gauzed cranium. "Owww… my melon hurts." She giggled like a looney, "They've been awaiting my arrival, girl! For my birthday!"
Fionna clenched her fist, glowering at her sister, "Stop being insane!"
Cake only guffawed like a lunatic. Fionna jumped, clinging onto her sister and socking her in the head. She stared, waiting for a reaction. "Hee, I'm a big, strong man! I'm a big, strong man!" Fionna clocked her again. "And now I'm a puppy dog! Woof woof! Haha!" Fionna slammed her fists down on her scalp. "Oh! The tea's ready, Mr. B!" She stretched an arm into a tea kettle. She then shifted her voice, "Hazel, no, I have work to do! Tea time was an hour ago!" Fionna shouted a war cry, headbutting her fiercely. Cake lulled, falling back from the impact. Her eyes fluttered open, "... What's going on here, child? Why you clinging to me?"
Fionna sniffled, smiling, "A-a reindeer wunked up your brain a-and made you go nuts." Her gaze darkened. "... And made you imprison all the candy folk for your unhealthy surprise party obsession." She pointed to the prisoners as they whimpered and groaned.
Cake grimaced, gazing at her sister. She… she had really done this? Her eyes became glossy. She wiped away her sister's tears, cradling her, "I… I really did? But… my birthday was months ago!" She floated her and her sister over to Butterscotch Maid, using her morning star paw to break her cocoon, "I'm so sorry, Buscotch."
The melted butterscotch person rasped in her arms, her little onsie suit caked in goop, "This… this was not your doing, Cake…"
Fionna and Cake gaped.
"Twas… Her," she pointed weakly at the wet Hind.
The Hind reared back onto her back hooves, pronating her fore hooves. She shook off the cloven hooves, revealing bony humanoid fingers. She cracked them, her mouth bisecting into two triangular maws with mandibles and snakes for tongues.
Cake gasped, dropping the maid, "Creep deer!"
The Hind strutted over to the fallen maid, who tried to crawl away, but she spun her in the tacky magenta spittle once more, hanging her upside-down like a sick trophy. Her beady eyes stared at Fionna and Cake. Fionna thrashed from her sister's grasp.
The reindeer split its dual mouths open, hissing.
Fionna's blood boiled as she dropped onto all fours again, arching her back like a cat, "Hisss… Cakey, free the candies." She stared back at her sister with dark eyes. "I'll take on Antlerrrrssss." Cake nodded, staring down at her sister with worry.
Cake went to work, using morning star paws to break the candy people free. She gathered them motherly, giving a few of the kids kisses to soothe their trauma.
Meanwhile, Fionna railed on the Hind, clawing at her like a cat. Her arms simmered, but she didn't care. The Hind needed to be taken down. She kneed the Hind in its furry loin several times, before she was headbutted and grasped. The heroine yowled as she was slammed into the wall, hitting a pipe. Antlers pierced into her, threatening to puncture. She was winded. No!
Cake gathered the Prince in her arms, glancing down from the pipe she was floating against. Fionna was scrapped upwards, entangled in the velvety antlers of the freaky caribou. Her baby sister shrieked in anguish as the pipe creaked. The cat's tail bristled as she gasped. She untied an anvil from her ankle. She called out, "Fionna!"
The girl yelped as she found an opening, kicking the ungulate away and flopping to the ground. She rolled away into the comfort of her sister's arms, who hoisted her up. The anvil crashed down onto the Hind's antlers, splintering them into sticks. She was cracked on the head. Cake hissed, tossing the other anvil into the Hind's chest. The reindeer collapsed, twitching. The weakened candy people just rolled her down the hole in the center of the outcrop, watching her vanish against the water. They all cheered.
Cake and Fionna fist bumped, "We did it!"
The heroine looked up at her sister, "How's the noggin?"
"Not psycho!" Cake glanced down at her sister's bruised arms. "How are your arms, girl?"
Fionna teared up, her voice squeaky, "... Still wrecked."
Prince Gumball softly slouched against the two sisters, "Thank you, girls…"
The two hugged him.
The monarch straightened himself, "She really wanted our sweets, but we denied her. If y'catch my drift."
Fionna shrunk back. She glanced around, "This place is giving me the heeby-jeebies. Let's head back."
Cake laughed, softly holding Fionna in her arms, "Heh, yeah, this place reminds me of my Uncle Joe's basement."
Dr. Ice Pop and Nurse Cheesecake walked forward, glancing at everyone. Dr. Ice Pop hummed, "I think we should all go to the Infirmary and get fixed up." They all agreed. Cake piped up, holding her sister up, "Yeah, and finish healing my sis' arms!"
Nurse Cheesecake giggled, "Of course. But we'll have to make her a new cast."
Fionna frowned.
Cake gathered them all up, inflating herself like a blimp to aid the balloon animals in flying them all up into what appeared to be a hole in the ceiling of the old pipe works.
"Yeah! Let's get fixed up!"
And there we have it! My first episode done! Thank you, iamconstantine, again, for your wonderful work.
I hope I can continue this, because this was a monster to write.