A/N: A funny little piece for Halloween…then men and woman battle…no holds barred!
Happy Halloween.
Frank bit into his burger, loaded with cheese, bacon, mayo, all the things Denise banned from their fridge, "And the next thing I know she says, "Frank, honey..." And by then I know it's not good..."Molly wants Daddy to take her trick or treating." Molly can't talk...so that translated into, " You're taking her trick or treating whether you want to or not." There are three games on Sunday, she knows that...so I tell her know and had to sleep in the garage."
Michael laughed. "Been there."
"So how do I get out of it?" he asked. "It's my only "me" day, Sunday, but if I say no, she either gets mad or starts crying."
"You don't say no, you suck it up and do what she wants, tape the game and watch it later." He spoke like an old marriage pro.
"Oh, I forgot that tidbit; she cancelled the TIVO service, just up and cancelled it, no reason, no explanation, just gone..." He snapped his fingers. "The woman has gone insane. I think I'd preferred the sleeping with a kid your son's age, get a tattoo, and tight leather pants than this thing. I'm eating weeds, can't watch TV, oh, I have to put my boots on outside."
Michel cringed, "Okay, she's lost it!"
He nodded, "Jeremy calls and says she's going to be a grandmother and bam!"
"Maybe she's just on a health kick, I'm sure it will blow over," he said all the while thinking. "Yeah, right."
"That's not getting me out of Trick or Treating detail," Frank sighed. "I hate Halloween, it's not even a real holiday."
"I know," Michael sympathized.
The conversation continued until they heard, "Freak her out," from behind them.
They turned around to see Chase standing behind them.
"My brother's wife did that for their son's first Halloween, he suggested she have her friends over the night before for get together, she did, and we spend a good chunk of the night scaring the life out of our wives, does wonders for your sex life too."
Frank laughed, "I'm in!"
Chase sat down, "What's she afraid of?"
"Clowns," Frank replied quickly.
"Okay, what else?" Chase asked. "Clowns are good but anything else?"
"Haunted houses," he replied.
"Okay, there's a spot next to the Charleston Inn that does a haunted house, take her there tonight, get her to bristle a little bit and I've got a buddy who does some really great special effects and that kind of thing but it's going to cost you, I want something in return."
"What?"Frank asked.
"You get your wife to convince Pamela that we need a second chance," Chase told them.
He nodded and shook his hand. "Consider it done."
"Okay, get her out of the house tonight and keep her out for a few hours," Chase replied. "This is going to be a lot of fun; if we don't get caught."
Frank laughed, "Yeah, we get caught I'm divorced."
The trio conferred a bit more on what they referred to as Operation Haunt, before breaking and heading home to begin their various tasks. Michael's was easy; convince Claudia Joy to babysit Molly that evening. She quickly agreed.
At the Sherwood house, Frank had his work cut out for him. "Come on, Dee, just dinner and walk in the battery."
"No Frank," she said shaking her head.
"Why not, honey?" he asked going to give her a hug. "We haven't been out alone since the week I got back."
"Because I know you, you're going to take me somewhere to scare me because Halloween is tomorrow," she said.
His eyes brightened, "Maybe," he laughed snuggling her closer. "Or maybe I'll take you somewhere I can protect you...and hold you..." This would work...he hoped.
She shook her head
"Dinner, just dinner anything else is up to you, let's just have dinner, okay? Someplace nice, you choose?"
She smiled, "Okay fine, you win." She always caved.
He gave her a kiss, "I'll call Michael, Claudia Joy will babysit." He picked Molly up, "You going out tonight, peanut."
The little girl smiled at her Daddy.
He took her and called, Michael, "Phase one complete."
He took her to an Italian restaurant and they had a nice dinner then they drove to the haunted house by the Charleston Inn and Denise immediately protested. "No Frank!"
"It's fun, honey. It's not real, it can't hurt you," Frank said calmly. "Let's go do it together, and when Molly wants to when she's older, we can do it as a family, all of us."
She sighed "Fine but if anything jumps out at me I'm killing you"
"I'm sure stuff will jump out at you Dee, just go in knowing it will."
She rolled her eyes and got out of the car; she walked to the steps then stopped "I can't."
"I'm right here, just hold hands, okay? It'll be fun and if it's not...I was her diapers for a month."
She nodded and took his hand and walked into the dark house.
This haunted house was very different from the usual blood and gore style house, this one...A woman in Civil War costume directed them to a huge ballroom with chairs and a pastry spread and an old pipe organ. There was a cake and candles set up as well. After ten minutes, when more couples arrived, she spoke. "Welcome to the ancestral home of Phillip Thomas Clare, I know you are all here for some spooky happenings and I promise you'll have more than your fill, in addition to it being near Halloween, it would also be the birthday of Mr. Clare and two of his son, all of whom died in this house between 1858 and 1866."
Good idea!
Denise squeezed Frank's hand; the thought of knowing someone died in this house did not help her nerves any
The tour guide was interesting and soon Denise focused on that, in the hallway though she got her first good scare when she watched the faces in a tintype photograph of the home's owner and his wife morph into faces exactly like hers and Frank's.
She grabbed his arm and held on for dear life
The guide noticed her reaction, "This photograph was made the day before Mr. Clare as kidnapped and hanged in the town square by secessionist sympathizers. The story goes that he as ripped from his bed at night, dragged through the streets, and killed while his wife slept. Sometimes, visitor report seeing their reflections in the photograph often that is a predictor of things to come."
Half or it true and half isn't and no one knows what is hat
That flat out terrified. "Frank, let's go," she said, her voice was shaking.
"Its' okay, honey," he soothed. "Just a story. Anyway we can't just walk around her."
Denise bit her bottom lip and nodded, she was shaking.
He got his arms around her and snuggled her. He kissed her hair, "Stay close, you're okay. I love you," he whispered in her ear a second later he was on his butt on the floor.
"Frank, what happened?"she asked in surprise. "You okay?"
He looked a little frightened, the guide laughed. "That ladies and gentlemen was a brief visit from Teddy, the youngest of the Clare children. He likes to trip the guests.
Denise helped him up. "You okay?"
"Yeah," he laughed lightly, "Got the wind knocked out of me."
They continued the tour, one woman screamed up in the front of the group. That made Denise jump.
"It's okay baby," Frank soothed. "Just listen to the history, forget the rest."
She nodded and tried to focus on the story.
In the child's room, Frank was intrigued. "Denise, look," he directed her attention. "This was sniper foothold; see the wear marks on the sill and the holes?"
She nodded, she hated it here.
Her attention was caught by another stimulus a moment later; she shivered the looked, and then launched herself at her husband.
He caught her and she buried her face in his chest.
"What honey?" he asked noticing the tour had left them behind.
"The ghost, I swear I saw that man standing in front of me," she said.
"Okay, ssh, no one is here, it's all make believe," he comforted. "No one is here."
"Yes they are, please can we go home? I don't like this," she begged.
"Let's go, I'm sorry I thought it would be different," he sighed. He felt bad she as so afraid, he was expecting bad special effects, not true ghost stories.
As soon as they got back out of the house, he saw how frightened she really was, her whole body was shaking and she was pale. He took her to her favorite coffee shop to help her settle down, "Do you still want me to take Molly on Sunday?"
"Do you care to take her?" she asked "Roxy wanted all of us to dress up and do something."
"I'll take her," he nodded. "Would it be more fun if you did it tomorrow night instead, no interruptions?"
"Probably," she said and agreed to talk to the girls.
"Ask, you can do it at our place," he suggested. "I'll rope Godfather Holden into going with us Sunday."
She laughed and nodded, "Thank you."
Part of him felt guilty, but the majority of him was looking forward to the laugh of his life.
She'd finally started to calm down and they drove home but still declared, "No more haunted houses!"
"No more haunted houses," he agreed and stopped to get Molly. "You want to wait in the car?"
She nodded and a moment later Frank brought Molly out, she was covered head to toe in flour.
"What in the world did they do to my baby?"Denise asked laughing.
"Claudia Joy said that she left her in her seat for a minute and came back to this, she grabbed the bag..." He was laughing so hard his sides hurt.
"Nice," she laughed.
"It just happened, oh, I mentioned the party and she's game, going to make cookies."
She smiled and nodded "Thanks."
He got in the car and they drove home, Denise went straight and bathed Molly who fell asleep during it, she got her dressed and put her in bed then went to the living room, she couldn't stop seeing that man's face and when Frank came in the room and said her name she jumped out of her skin
"Easy, it's just me honey," Frank replied. "You ready for sleep?"
She nodded "Yeah," she said, but she knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep
There had been fighting all day around the house, nothing was quiet or safe. Denise hid baby Molly in the cellar hours ago to try to keep her safe from the cold and the raging battle. She passed by the bedroom that was her son's before he left for England where her lifelong best friend Claudia was nursing wounded soldiers. Among them a young Corporal LeBlanc who'd turned Charleston society on its ear by marrying a western saloon girl, they'd sent for her but Claudia doubted she's make it in time.
Denise prayed she would, knowing that if that were her husband she's never be the same if she didn't get to tell him goodbye.
Her heart ached for the women whose husband died hundreds of miles from them, alone, frightened...she tried when she could to bring comfort, but often her surgical skills were needs more than her maternal ones. As was the case now, a medical team member came in, "Doc needs you for triage, hundred or more coming in."
She nodded and went to do her job
She weeded through like it was a science, gut injuries kept comfortable, limbs straight to surgery for amputation, minor injuries kept in the barn with water and molded bread. Halfway through her worst nightmare came true, her own husband was on the pallet, shot through the stomach, she stopped her work and ordered him brought to the surgeons that minute until someone listened. The doctor took a look, ordered morphine powder and had him brought upstairs to the master bedroom essentially to die of infection.
"No, no you have to help him, you can't just let him die like this" she said
The surgeon, only forty, but looking about sixty looked at her, "He's already dead, he's gut shot, I can't save him."
"You don't know that, please, please just try!" she begged
One of the younger surgeons who saw an opportunity to wed the beautiful Mrs. Sherwood stepped up and with her as his assistant cut away the bullet, the infection and anything else before sewing him up and leaving him to his wife's tender care. He'd be dead in less than a week from something and she'd always remember he tried.
Denise sat by his side and cared for him
She nursed a constant fever, forced sips of water and held him when they'd run out of morphine for his pain, still three days later without ever waking up, he died him her arms.
Her world started to spin; he was taken from her arms, dragged still through the streets of town and burned as a traitor...a northern sympathizer...
Denise hot up and bed and reached for Frank, his side was empty and cold.
Denise began to sob, thinking it wasn't a dream, thinking she had lost him.
She sobbed his name over and over again, at some point she must have started screaming because Frank with Molly sans diaper ran into the bedroom to get to her. "Dee, Dee, I'm here, I'm right here, what is it baby?"
That only made her sob harder.
He put their half naked baby on the bed and held her, "What? What happened? Does something hurt? Dinner upset your stomach?" Molly was getting scared, Mommy was crying that was wrong...chubby little legs kicked and she screwed up her face to wail.
"Nightmare...you died...I couldn't save you," she cried.
"I didn't die, I'm right here; right here with you and our little one...Ssh."
Just then Molly started wailing.
Denise forced herself to calm down and snuggled her baby, "Why is she not wearing a diaper?"
"Because I was in the middle of changing her when I heard you screaming," he said.
Denise forward her tears down and laughed at him before taking the baby to dress. She didn't go back to sleep that night, she doubted she'd sleep again.
The next day Denise got up early and started getting ready for the party, she called and told all the girls to bring their costumes and they'd get ready over there so they didn't get made fun of by their husbands.
Frank hated Halloween and he did have some second thoughts, but Michael reminding him of a day with a baby carriage or three games in HD and he relented.
When Frank had left with Molly Roxy pulled out her Ouija board that Trevor, now in on the plan had Finn rig to respond to changes in tension to increase the changes the thing might move, it cost him $20 and a trip to a bug museum.
"Okay girls, the fun begins now!" Denise rubbed her hands together excited.
They all laughed and went and got their costumes on, and made margaritas then sat down to play the game.
Denise was very tense, she'd had the creeps since they left the house, hen Roxy hit the lights and lit candles she shivered.
"You okay Denise?"Roxy asked
"Yeah, fine, just got a chill, let's go, who's first?"
"Me," Pamela said.
They laughed and Pamela began with the first question, she asked, "Will Chase ever leave Delta?"
Everyone looked around knowing that answer already so they were surprised when the marker moved to the skull instead of the yes.
"Okay that was weird," Denise said.
Pamela looked a little frightened but shook it off as "Just a game." Claudia Joy and Roxy asked questions and didn't get any answers, Denise asked, "Will Frank and I have another baby?"
The thing again moved to the skull.
Roxy reached for the book to see what the skull meant, "Oh Hell!"
"What?"Denise asked quickly
"This board doesn't have a skull on it," Roxy replied and hot back from the table quickly.
"What?" she asked.
"It doesn't have a skull, that's a sun in the picture, not skull," she showed the direction.
"Shit!"Denise said and shot up like a bullet and backed up.
Claudia Joy kept her head, "The kids probably messed with it." But she took got up and cleaned up the game. "Let's watch one of the movies?"
They all nodded and went to the living room and sat down to watch The Grudge.
About halfway through the movie Roxy had to use the bathroom.
She got up and went to the bathroom and flipped on the light. The bulb set the room in a red glow and the mirror hazed over with a thick fog like substance before turning black. That scared Roxy to pieces and she screamed and ran out of there.
The other heard her scream and Denise went to her, "What happen? You okay?"
Denise saw what she saw and she to screamed and they both shot out of the bathroom
Pamela's cop instincts were going off by now..."Frank's playing a game with us,' she laughed. "I'm sure he's not happy about being kicked out of here."
He better not be, if he does, I'm going to kill his ass," she said
"Why would he do that? Roxy asked. "She gets a hang nail and he flips out."
"Because he has to take Molly trick or treating...Son of a...I am going to kill him" Denise said, she was mad now
The ladies spent a moment being mad, "Wait a minute, no offense Denise but Frank is no machinist, how did he pull this off by himself?"
Pamela asked.
"He didn't" Denise said after a moment "They all did this"
They looked at each other, "So do we just bust them or do we get even?" Roxy asked.
"Get even" Denise said
They all put their heads together and came up with a plan that would make their husbands sorry they ever messed with them
When Frank brought Molly home two hours later the house was quiet. He expected Denise to fly into his arms crying and begging him not to make her stay in the house by herself, but instead...nothing..."Denise?"
He went to look for her but he found nothing,
He looked around house, then he saw her nightgown, on the floor, inside out, he top as on the bed in heap, she hated hen he did that.
"Denise!"he called again
He was beginning to get worried and as they watched Denise felt bad, "I can't let him be upset like that."
"He was in on making the house you live in haunted to scare you" Roxy reminded her
"Pass the popcorn," Denise said biting her lip not to laugh. Over the next hour the phone was ringing off the hook with men calling about their wives, none had come home.
"Call the MP's!" Frank said.
The men gathered at the house and talked to the MPS, "There is no way that all of your wives got off this post without us realizing it." As they listened Trevor's brain was working, "Wait a minute. What are the chances they figured this out?"
"Pretty good" One MP laughed "They got you all good, they are hiding out"
Frank eyes lit up, "Okay boys, its payback time." The men put their heads together and half an hour later a 20 years old stripper arrived at the house.
"Oh hell no!"Denise said putting her hands on her hips
Roxy laughed, "Let's bust them ladies."
They all went into the house and the men knew they were in deep shit, especially Frank and Michael
Denise smiled at the girl, "You're services are no longer required. Get out of my house. "
The girl looked a little scared and she go out of the house as fast as she could, Denise stood in front of Frank with her arms crossed
"Got you to come out, didn't it? You scared the Hell out of me! I thought something happened to you!" He was screaming at her.
"Don't scream at me you son of a bitch!"Denise screamed "You knew that would scare me, you knew I was scared from last night, but no you couldn't resist making me scared again, making me have the nightmare I did last night, this was not some innocent prank, this was going too far and you knew that but you don't care, and we try to pull something on you and you bring in a half naked slut into my house!"
"We knew you were acting up because of that, we never intended to do anything with her," Frank snapped. "You are the...You know what, fine, it was wrong, okay, it was the wrong thing to do."
"Fine, whatever," Denise said, she was so mad at this point she had tears in her eyes.
The other were being dragged by their earlobes to their cars, they heard Trevor protesting, "Order are orders" as Roxy hit him over and over with her purse. Denise went to bed and locked the door; she didn't even leave cushions on the couch.
Frank tried to get her to let him in but she wouldn't, the hardest part for him though was when she had another nightmare and he couldn't do anything about it
He sat and held Molly as she cried over her mother's tears. Finally Denise came out, sheepish, scared, with tears dripping off her cheeks. "Tell me why?"
He just looked at the floor "Tell me why Frank, why would you do that?"She asked
"Started as a joke," he replied. "Just I like my Sunday's to myself and I thought ...then Chase suggested this approach and...I tried to tell you..."
"When?"she asked
"This whole week, I tried to tell you I didn't want to spend that time walking around and you got mad or didn't listen or started crying and I was talking to Michael and it all...got out of hand."
"You could have came in when you saw I was scared" she said
"We didn't watch, we were at the Hump until I got home," he replied. "The idea as for you to be scared and not want to be in the house by yourself is all, not for you to get so upset."
"Well I did" she said "You did this all because you didn't want to take your daughter trick or treating"
"Not entirely," he replied. "By this time in the week anymore, I'm tired Denise, I'm tired I don't want to do anything but stay here and unwind and relax and it seems that every week it's something else you want me to do with the baby or...But the worse of it, is that we're growing apart and I saw this as a way to fix all of that."
"You brought that stripper in here to bring us closer?"she asked, she was honestly, genuinely hurt by that "No, actually she was Michael's idea, I just want you to come out so I knew for sure everyone was telling the truth and you all were just hiding."
"You didn't have any intention of doing anything with her?"she asked
He shook his head, "No I knew the minute you realized what she as if you were here you'd be out and if not I'd have been too busy looking for you to pay her any mind at all."
She only nodded; she was still scared, and hurt
He stood up, "I'm sorry. Let's forget about it okay, it was all stupid pranks that got out of hand, let's just go to bed, okay?"
Again she nodded; she hadn't slept much because of the nightmares
He held her that night and in the morning she made him breakfast and things seemed to be alright until after his shower when he stepped out to see a dress, a pair of heels and a feather boa on the bed.
"Hey honey" she said, she had an evil smile on her face
Frank froze still; little did he know the other men involved in the game had similar costumes. They were ordered to take the children around the post in them if they ever wanted to get back in their wives good graces. Halfway through they stopped off at the Burton house and were each handed notes instead of candy for their charges, each one ready simply, "Pay back is a bi*ch, ain't it?"