It is so late it's early and I am tremendously sleep deprived and I was looking at the Darren Criss Out shoot. And I was like, "What if Kurt saw these? Also, what if he was as incoherent as I am right now?"
So Blaine and Kurt are IM'ing on the instant message client of your choice. Even fb, if you're feeling edgy and subversive. Underlined text is Blaine, all else is Kurt.
...I have the funniest feeling I'm going to regret this in the morning.
I don't own Glee, Blaine, Kurt, Out, or instant messaging.
BLAINE
BLAINE ,I AM LIKE
…like what?
you broked me
you broked me, blaine
you don't seem to understand
...evidently not
do want, blaine
DO WANT
yes. this is happening. I am pleased.
you seem more coherent now
…ish
so that's something
you are so cruel to me
I mean really
you are made of pure evil. pure evil.
what? why?
did I do something
I finded the photos, blaine
what photos?
don't play innocent
the sweater, and the leather jacket
and oh the open pink button-down, god that's my favorite off all of them
why are you so awful blaine
whyyyyyyyy
I still don't know what you're
oh god those
yes those, how many half-nude photo spreads do you do that you didn't remember
well you never said what you were talking about.
how did you
internet, blaine
the internet knows all and tells all
she is a fickle mistress; she keeps no one's secrets but her own
clutched in the dark, uncomfortably moist confines of /b/
also, never go there
but no more sad thoughts
you are SMOLDERING in these pictures blaine
you never smoldered at me
well to be honest I didn't think we were there yet
you've seen me get ready in the morning blaine
you watched me moisturize daily
we're there
we've reached that point
ah
also in interest of full disclosure
I may have forgotten every lesson I ever learned sophomore year
and consumed cupcakes given to me by puck
i suspect this may not just be a sugar high
…you know it's times like these I wonder why I ever let you leave Dalton
let? no one lets me do anything
they humbly request things
and if they're lucky
they are granted consideration from the head bitch
I never understood why you didn't have more friends
maybe you got high near them
okay that was really mean
like seriously
yeah, sorry
we're okay
only cause I wanna make out with you later
because you know what?
Rachel berry
can't believe im saying this
was right
your face tastes AWESOME, blaine warbler
good to know
and I wants it
we wants it for our very owns, precious
how many cupcakes did you have, kurt
only four
…
they were very good
I'm worried about you
I think I'll go over and see you
ur family's not home?
no.
why, did you want to have your wicked wicked way with me?
more like I wanted to make sure you're not about to pass out or something
do want
come quickly
I need urgent medical attention
preferably mouth-to-mouth
or mouth to other places,
also good
…I'm coming as fast as I can.