This story is full of Darvey. Something happened to Harvey after Donna told him about her new boyfriend. She feels guilty. And it revives some feelings that she tried to hide so hard for months…
…
It is too late… Their relationship changed the past few months. He thought she was giving him some space to process everything that happened. Mike and Rachel leaving. His brother's divorce. The firm. Their fights.
It is too late… Now he knows. He knows that she did not lied when she yelled « I didn't feel anything when I kissed you Harvey ». He had doubts about that. Because she was mad when she said that… and he had just told her that he didn't want more. Except he wanted. Except he wants it.
But now it is too late. She wasn't giving him some space. She was forgetting him, in a romantic way. But even at work between them it was… pretty cold. She was falling in love with someone else... it was pretty obvious as she just engaged.
She was involved with that Scott guy for six months. He felt for her immediatly. Well… it's logic it is Donna after all. He even thought to propose after a couple of weeks.
Harvey just heard of that. Donna hided her engage ring for days but she finally confessed to him. They had spent the entire day to the firm. As often. But this time she came to finish some paperworks in his office, with him.
« What's wrong Donna ? »
« Nothing, I just wanted to be in this office with you like old times. »
« That's a lie. You are avoiding me for weeks. And we… we did not even went out for a drink since… well since you became the real managing partner. So tell me. Why are you here ? » He sounded pretty nervous and hard.
« Why are you so cold with me right now ? »
« Oh am I the colder one ? »
« I… you know what I gonna straight to the point. If I tried to avoid you these past few weeks, it is because something is happening in my personal life and I was searching for the best way to tell you. I have a boyfriend. For six months now. And he just proposed to me. I said yes because I like him and he makes me feel special. »
He wanted to yell at her. To apologise for not making her feel special. He felt his blood running from his veins. His head aching. His face was red of anger. He tried to calm himself and said : « I am happy for you Donna. You deserve the best. I hope he is a good guy. »
She expeled the air she was keeping and said : « He is. You should meet him. Before our wedding. »
« Wow wedding. You pick a day already ? »
« January 22th. »
« Are you kidding ? You came all the way here to tell me you going to marry that guy on my birthday ? »
« I am… sorry. But it is his birthday too. And I agreed to that day. »
« But why didn't you tell him about me ? »
She didn't knew. But Scott only knows Harvey's name related to her by work. Not by… anything else.
« Oh I see… He doesn't know about us… about our past together. »
« We have no past. »
« That is what I just found out. »
On that, he took his jacket and left his own office. Letting her alone in it. Yes, he was right. It was too late.
…
The morning after, Donna came to work late. She hadn't sleep all night and wasn't in a hurry to get here and see Harvey.
But as 10 o clock in the morning past, and he was still out of the building, she wondered if she did not said all those things too soon… and too hard.
By 11 o clock, she was in her office, working, and had forget Harvey's absence very fast. But when Louis knocked on her glass door, she knew something wasn't right. He had tears in his eyes. She didn't moved. She waited.
Louis approached her desk very slowly and said : « Something happened to Harvey ». And that day, her world collapsed.
…
Donna's life completely changed when she met Harvey thirteen years ago. She knew he was her person. But she also knew she couldn't be his person if she was just a secretary. She wanted to me someone very important before. And now she was. COO of one of the biggest lawyers firms of New York City.
But what can't she said that ? She should have told him her ambitions, her needs, her feelings. It was so hard to see him with other women all those years. So hard to hear him say « I love you Donna » with being able to say how.
To be honest, she knew why she lied when she said she felt nothing when she kissed him. She wanted to hurt him, make him pay for not making her his first choice.
Now she was standing in the hospital waiting room with Louis and Alex. Sam and Robert offered them to take care of the firm for when they come back.
Harvey had a car accident. It was badly injured and needed surgery. Louis was making a call to Sheila when a police officer came. Somebody else was injured in the accident. A young mother. And the police were investigating to know who was responsible.
« Are you Miss Specter ? »
« No. I am Donna Paulsen. A friend. I work with Harvey Specter. »
« How is he ? »
« I don't know. He is still in surgery. »
« I hope he'll survive to that. I need to know what happened. There are no braking marks on the road. His blood test is perfectly normal. Same thing for the other victim. Except she tried to avoid his car. »
« He did not ? »
« No. It's like he ran straight to her. On purpose. »
Donna was shocked.
« On purpose ? What are you saying ? »
« Did you friend have any problems ? Suicidal cravings ? »
She was on the edge.
« Are you trying to say that Harvey Specter tried to kill himself ? Risking somebody's life too ? »
« Mam' I am just asking. »
« Let me tell you who is Harvey Specter. He is the strongest person I know. He fights for his family, his friends, his convictions, his firm, his city and even his country like a lion. He loves life. I've known him for thirteen years. I saw him up and down. I saw him fall and get up. He was there for me when I needed. He would never let me. Never. I don't know why he did not brake. Maybe his car had a problem. Or something else. But I forbid you to say that he wanted to abandon me. »
But what if he wanted ?
…
Surgery went well but Harvey had a sudden hematoma which need to resort itself. And he was in a coma. He could last for days or weeks. And he could even die before.
Donna decided to take some days off to stay with him. Marcus and Harvey's mom were there. But they let her some time with him. Because they knew. They knew she wasn't just a coworker and that it was her voice that he needed to hear to wake up.
Donna had told Scott to let her alone. To give her some time to take care of her friend. He understood immediatly that Harvey was the « friend » who keep her from saying « I love you » to him. She had never said those words. Even though she was ready to marry him. Well… ready before the accident.
The police officer came back. He thought regarding Harvey's medical analyses, that he had a faintness. The young mother injured in the accident was okay now. And she did not complaint. So the investigation was done.
A faintness. Or a panic attack. And Donna knew it. Her announcement triggered it. She felt so guilty, like it was her fault.
She was sitting next to him, holding his hand, hoping he was going to wake up so she could tell him she was sorry. Sorry for putting someone else before him. Sorry for lying about his feelings. Sorry for making him wait for years. Sorry for that stupid rule that she decided thirteen years ago.
« Hey Harvey… » She could barely speak. She was crying. « Doctors said you could hear me… so listen… you have to wake up, you have to come back to the firm, to me… you are my… my rock… my solid stone… without you I feel completely empty… I don't know why I lied on my feelings. Why I waited thirteen years to come in peace with all of that. You remember when you told me that you loved me ? After you spare me jail ? Well I am sorry I pushed you too hard so you say it again or explain how… I should have told you that I wanted you to stay… all night… all life. It is my fault if we lost so much time. But it was so hard seeing you trying falling in love with other women all those years. That is what I tried to do with Scott… enough lies. I am going to break up with him. I am going to break up with him and you are going to wake up so we could be honest to each other and have our happy ending. Your the man of my life Harvey Specter. And I love you so much. »
…
Two days after her big declaration, Harvey was still in a coma. Maybe she was going to loose him… but she could't keep lying to Scott and had to end up things with him.
He was happy to see his fiancé after all those days, knowing what she was going through. But when he saw her… he knew he had lost her in that car accident where none of them was involved.
« What did you say yes ? » he asked when she told him that she made a mistake. And she told him the truth about Harvey. She thought she could have them both in her life. But it was impossible.
While she was with Scott… to say good bye… Harvey started to wake up.
…
His brother Marcus and his mother were with him. Donna arrived half an hour after that. She was mad at herself for not being here when he opened his eyes…
When she entered the room… she saw his smiling face and was so relieved.
« Mom maybe we should leave them alone… I think they have plenty of stuffs to catch up. »
« No work talking ok ? » warned his mother. And he consent.
Donna sat in the chair right beside him and just look him in the eyes.
« You scared me. »
« Excuse me who are you ? »
« Wh… what ? »
« Just kidding… my head is fine. My legs less… I can't walk for now. But doctors said it should be fine with a long rehab time. »
« Should ? Is there any… risk that you could not walk again ? »
« I guess but I plan to be on my feet to dance with you at your wedding… »
She smirked. « There is no wedding. I… I broke up with Scott. »
« What ? Why ? What happened ? »
She smirked again. « You happened. » Silence filled the room.
« Your accident… put everything… changed everything. Harvey… why did you not brake your car ? »
« I couldn't move… I… had a panic attack. »
« Is it my fault ? »
« Why it would be your fault ? »
« Because last time you had one it was when I left you for Louis… »
« Actually I have a panic attack every single time I thought I was going to loose you. »
« So this is my fault… »
« No… no Donna. I should have told you. That is my fault. Mine. »
« Told me what ? »
He didn't know if his head was clear enough to say that.
« Told me what Harvey ? »
« How. »
« What ? »
« I should have told you how I love you… why I choose you over Paula… »
« After what I just did, you still… lo… love me ? »
« You didn't do anything. And… yes. I can tell you now. I am in love with you Donna Paulsen. »
She was about to cry. She got up and sat on his bed, still holding his hand.
« I have some things to say before I kiss you again… »
That was his turn to smirk.
« I lied when I said I didn't feel anything when I kissed you. I felt everything. And I can't wait to feel that again and again and again… »
And her lips crashed on his.