Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking her easy. Unless you're me.
CRASH!
A boy and a girl crashed through a billboard in a golf cart. The girl was driving it, trying to look brave. The boy, on the other hand, looked back. "It's getting closer!" he exclaimed.
The girl took a deep breath as she kept on driving. She had long, messy brown hair and relatively pale skin. Her eyes were brown with noticeable bags underneath. She wore an orange t-shirt, gray shorts, and black sneakers. She also had a navy blue hoodie tied around her waist.
The boy looked somewhat like the girl. His cheeks were round with pink spots, his short hair was brown, his eyes were brown, and he wore braces. He wore a light pink t-shirt, dark pink Sony headphones, purple shorts, and black sneakers. He was also wearing a medallion that consisted of a small silver chain and a Twilight Sparkle blind bag figure.
My name is Dana. The guy about to puke is my brother Marcus. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.
Suddenly, an unseen creature threw a tree in the golf cart's path. "Look out!" Marcus hollered.
Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.
Let's rewind. It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air.
Dana (who had her hair done in a ponytail) and Marcus (who was wearing a Flower Wishes medallion) were in the living room of their house. Dana was sitting on the couch, drawing a picture in her notepad. Marcus was sitting next to her, using a tiny drill to make a Pony medallion. As the two were working on their own projects, their parents walked in.
"Kids, is this what you're going to do all summer?" Mr. Pines asked.
"Yeah," Dana replied, not looking up from her notepad. "Don't know about Marcus."
"I don't know what I'll do this summer," Marcus said, inspecting the new medallion. "Hopefully I'll convert the rest of my Blind Bag figures into medallions."
"How would you like to spend this summer in Oregon with your great-aunt?" Mrs. Pines asked.
Dana shrugged. "Sure," she said.
"I'm okay with that," Marcus said.
They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon to stay at our great-aunt's place in the woods.
When Dana and Marcus arrived in their room in the cabin's attic, they unpacked their bags. Dana brought her artist's kit, which consisted of several blank notepads, #2 pencils, pink erasers, colored pencils, and a slightly heavy manual pencil sharpener. Marcus brought his Pony stuff and his medallion tool supplies.
"This attic is amazing," Marcus commented. "Check out this cool shelf for my Pony stuff!"
Dana rolled her eyes. "I can never get why you like Ponies so much," she said.
"It's popular among guys," Marcus explained. "Wonder if there's a store in town where I can buy more Blind Bag figures."
My brother tended to look on the bright side of things.
Outside, Dana and Marcus were doing their own things. Marcus was checking out the forest, while Dana was drawing a sketch of the scenery.
But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings. That is, until I realized how beautiful this place is. It's been a week and I already finished a few sketches.
As Dana sketched, she noticed a woman nearby. She had brown eyes and light gray hair. She wore a maroon fez, which had a yellow crescent shape on the front. She wore a pair of rectangular glasses. Her outfit was a black woman's suit with the jacket buttoned closed, a bow tie similar in color to her fez, and a white dress shirt. She also wore dark gray stockings, light brown high heels, and yellow circle earrings. She held an eight ball cane.
And there was our great-aunt Silvia-
Dana rolled her eyes, finishing up her sketch.
-that woman.
Our aunt transformed her house into a jewelry place called 'The Surprise Hut'. The real surprise is that so many people came each day.
At the Surprise Hut, Silvia was showing a group of people various gemstones that were on display. "Ladies and gentlemen, behold!" she said. "A necklace wore by Queen Cleopatra herself!" The group got excited and took pictures of said necklace.
And guess who had to work there.
Dana and Marcus were nearby, sweeping the store's floor with brooms. Dana looked at the group as she sighed, already bored.
I thought it was going to be the same boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day...
One day, Marcus peeked through some bobblehead dolls. "She's looking at it," he whispered. "She's looking at it!"
Nearby, a girl looked at a note.
Hey there, gorgeous. You, me, romantic date. You game? Yes Definitely Absolutely
"I rigged it," Marcus told Dana.
Dana sighed. "Marcus, I know you're going through your whole girl crazy phase," she said. "But I think you're kind of overdoing it with the crazy part."
"What?" Marcus asked. "Come on, Dana! This is our first summer away from home. It's my big chance to have a summer girlfriend."
"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every girl you meet?" Dana asked.
Flashback
Marcus stood next to a girl who was looking at some postcards. "The name's Marcus," he said. "But you can call me your future husband."
The girl rolled her eyes and walked off.
Next Flashback
Outside, a girl was sitting on a bench with a turtle. Marcus walked up to the girl and sat next to her. "You like turtles, huh?" he asked. "Well I happen to like turtles too. Maybe we should hang out some time for a bit of turtle talk."
The girl got up and left.
End Flashback
"Mock all you want, sister," Marcus said. "But I've got a good feeling this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if I met a gorgeous girl today."
Silvia walked in it with arrow signs. "Okay everyone," she said. "I need someone to hammer up these signs in the forest."
"Not it," Dana said.
"Not it," Marcus said.
"Also not it," a chubby woman said. She wore a brown cap and emerald studded earrings. She had light peach skin and buck teeth. She wore dark brown shoes, beige shorts and a dark green shirt with a big question mark on the front and the word 'Staff' on the back. She also had a double chin and dark blonde hair that was pulled back in a ponytail.
"Nobody asked you, Salls," Silvia said.
"I know, and I'm comfortable with that," Salls replied. Then she took a bite out of a chocolate bar.
"William, I need you to put up these signs," Silvia said.
William was a very tall and skinny high school student. He had green eyes, pale skin, and freckles. He had chin-length red hair and was wearing a tan and black lumberjack hat. He wore a jade plaid shirt with a white t-shirt underneath, blue jeans and muddy rain boots. "I would, but I can't reach it," he said, not getting up from his spot behind the cash register.
"Well if no one's volunteering, I'll have to choose someone at random," Silvia said. "How about...Dana?"
"What?" Dana asked. "Graunt Silvia, whenever I'm in the woods, I feel like I'm being watched."
"Oh Dana, you and your imagination," Silvia said.
"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town," Dana insisted. "Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'beware'." She held up her arm.
"Looks more like 'bewarb'," Silvia said.
Dana looked at her arm. Sure enough, the bites read BEWARB.
"Dana, you have nothing to worry about," Silvia said. "The whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend town kooks made after drinking too much frozen beverages. So please stop being so paranoid." She gave Dana the signs.
At the forest, Dana hammered the signs to various trees. "Graunt Silvia," she thought. "Nobody ever believes anything I say." She put one sign up on a tree that read 'To The Surprise Hut'.
Dana started to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it made a metallic sound. She tapped the tree again with the hammer, causing more metallic sounds. Curious, Dana wiped away some dust and opened a secret window that showed a box with two control switches on top. She tested one control, but nothing happened. Then she tried the other switch.
Suddenly, a hole opened up the ground. "What the...?" Dana thought. She looked inside the hole and found a book. The cover featured a hand with six fingers on it and the number 3. She puts the book on the ground and checked to she if no one saw her.
Dana opened the cover and noticed an eye-glass. She looked at it and put it down. She turned the page and read a small passage that was in the book.
It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began researching the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon. In all my travels, never have I observed so many curious things! Gravity Falls is indeed a geographical oddity.
Dana skimmed through the book. When she was halfway through the book, she noticed it stopped after the left page.
Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed, I'm being watched. I must hide this book before 'he' finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.
"Hello."
That voice came from Marcus, who just showed up. "Whatcha reading?" he asked. "Some artist's manual?"
"Uh-uh-it's nothing!" Dana stammered.
Marcus let out a laugh. "What? Are you actually not gonna show me?"
Dana looked around. "Uhhh, let's go somewhere private."
Back at the Surprise Hut, Dana showed Marcus the book. "It's amazing!" she said. "Graunt Silvia said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has a secret dark side."
"Whoa!" Marcus exclaimed. "That's the second coolest thing I ever saw!"
"And get this!" Dana continued. "After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared!"
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "Who's that?" Dana asked.
"Well, time to spill the beans!" Marcus answered. "This guy's got a date!"
"Let me get this straight," Dana said. "In the half hour I was gone, you already found a girlfriend?"
"What can I say?" Marcus said with a shrug. "Guess I'm a chick magnet."
The doorbell rang again. "Coming!" Marcus called out, running out of the room.
Dana sat on the sofa and read her new book. As if on cue, Silvia walked in with a plastic teacup. "What are you reading, Dana?" the older woman asked.
Panicked, Dana stuffed the book under the seat cushion and grabbed a nearby magazine. "I was just catching up on-uh-..." She looked at the cover. "...How to Live Young at Sixty."
"That's a good book," Silvia said, sitting on a nearby chair. "Helped me stay this young in my old age."
Dana pretended to read as Marcus came back. "Hey, family!" he said. "Say hello to my new girlfriend!"
Dana and Silvia noticed Marcus stood next to an older girl. It was hard to tell what she looked like because she wore a black jacket with the hood up. "Hey there," she said.
"We met at the cemetery," Marcus explained. "She's pretty cool."
"So, what's your name?" Dana asked, getting suspicious.
"Uh...normal...WOMAN," the girl said.
"She means Nora," Marcus said.
Dana squinted. "Are you.. bleeding, Nora?"
Nora looked around suspiciously. "It's jam," she said.
Marcus gasped. "I love jam!" he said. "Look at this."
"So, are we going to go hold hands or... whatever?" Nora asked.
"Sure thing, beautiful," Marcus answered. He looked over at Dana and Silvia. "Don't wait up."
Marcus left the room. Nora smacked into the wall, then turned around and staggered after Marcus.
There was something about Nora that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.
At the hut's attic, Dana was reading off of the book.
Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for teenagers. Beware Gravity Falls nefarious zombie.
Dana gasped, comparing Nora to the picture of the undead in the book in her mind. She let out a scream. She looked out the window, seeing Nora slowly walking towards Marcus.
"You're amazing," Marcus said.
"Oh, no! MARCUS!" Dana yelped. "Watch out!"
Nora continued to walk towards Marcus as she raised her hand. Dana gasped then screamed as...Nora put her hand on Marcus' medallion. "Yes, that's a Pony," he said. "I like them."
"Pony," Nora repeated.
Dana leaned back in her seat. "Is my brother really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?" she thought.
Salls randomly appeared screwing in a light bulb, and Dana gasped. "You feeling alright?" the older girl asked. "I couldn't help but overhear you screaming in this empty room."
"Salls, you probably saw Marcus' girlfriend," Dana said. "She's gotta be a zombie, right?"
"How many brains did you see the girl eat?" Salls asked.
"Zero..." Dana answered.
"I believe you, Dana," Salls said. "I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure he's a werewolf. But you gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."
"As always, Salls, you're right," Dana said.
"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse," Salls said, adjusting her hat.
"Salls! The guest restrooms are clogged again!" Silvia called from downstairs.
"I am needed elsewhere," Salls said, leaving the room.
My brother could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence. After a few hours, I saw enough.
At the twins' room, Dana confronted her brother. "Marcus, we've gotta talk about Nora!"
"Isn't she the best?" Marcus asked.
"Marcus, listen!" Dana said. "I'm trying to tell you that Nora is not what she seems!"
Marcus gasped. "You think she might be a gamma girl like She-Hulk?" he asked. "That would be so hot!"
"Guess again, brother," Dana said. "Sha-bam!" She held up the page about the undead.
"A zombie?" Marcus asked. "That is not funny, Dana."
"I'm not joking!" Dana insisted. "It all adds up! The bleeding, the limp... She never blinks! Have you noticed that?"
"Maybe she's blinking when you're blinking," Marcus guessed.
"Remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?" Dana asked. "Trust no one!"
"Well, what about me?" Marcus asked. "Why can't you trust me?"
"Marcus, she's gonna eat your brain!" Dana warned.
"Dana, listen to me," Marcus said. "Nora and I are going on a date at five o'clock, I'm gonna be awesome, she's gonna be amazing, and I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!"
That afternoon, Dana sat on the couch going over her videos of Marcus and Nora. The doorbell rang. "Coming!" Marcus called out, running downstairs. He was now wearing his Twilight Sparkle medallion. He opened the door. "Hey, Nora! How do I look?"
Nora looked at the medallion. "Purple," she said.
"You always know what to say," Marcus remarked as he went outside and closed the door.
"Salls was right," Dana thought. "I don't have any real evidence. I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and-"
One of the videos showed Nora's hand falling off, then she casually put it back on her arm before Marcus could notice. Dana shrieked at the sight.
Outside, Silvia was in the middle of one of her tours. "And here we have the Chalmers Topaz," she said.
"Where was it originally found?" a tourist asked.
"Brazil," Silvia answered.
"Where did the name come from?" another tourist asked.
"A former Field Museum trustee who went by the name William J. Chalmers," Silvia answered.
Dana ran over to her aunt. "Graunt Silvia, you have to help me!" the younger girl said. "Marcus' life is at risk!"
"Sorry about my great-niece," Silvia told the tourists. "She can be a bit jumpy."
Meanwhile, Marcus and Nora were in the woods. "Finally, we're alone," Marcus said.
"Yes," Nora agreed "Alone..."
Back at the Surprise Hut, Dana ran over to William. "William! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my brother from a zombie!"
"Sure," William said, giving Dana the cart keys. "Try not to hit any pedestrians."
Dana got in the cart and started the engine. But before she could leave, Salls approached her. "Dana wait," the older girl said. "This is for the zombies." She gave Dana a shovel.
"Thanks," Dana said.
"And this is in case you see a pinata," Salls said, giving Dana a bat.
"Uh... Thanks?" Dana asked.
"Better safe than sorry," Salls explained.
Nora cleared her throat. "Marcus, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's something I should tell you."
"It's alright, babe," Marcus said. "You can tell me anything!" He crossed his fingers, hoping Nora was really a gamma girl.
"All right," Nora said. "Just don't freak out."
Marcus watched in shock as Nora took off her coat, revealing herself to be...five female gnomes standing on top of each other?
"Is this weird?" one of the gnomes asked. "Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?"
"Uh..." Marcus said, unable to form words.
"Right, I'll explain," the gnome said. "So! We're gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way. I'm Jill, and here we have Carol, Stella, Jaclyn, and Lucky Lu. Long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new king! So what do you say? Will you join us in holy matrimony?"
"Look...I'm sorry," Marcus said. "You're really sweet, but...I'm a guy, and you're gnomes. I don't think it'll work out."
"We understand," Jill said. "We'll never forget you, Marcus. Because we're gonna kidnap you."
As Dana drove the golf cart through the woods, she heard a loud shriek. "Don't worry, Marcus!" she called out. "I'll save you from that zombie!"
Deep in the forest, was surrounded by the gnomes. "The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for me!"
"Let go of me!" Marcus said. He punched one gnome away and kicks another in the stomach. The second gnome was knocked out cold.
By the time Dana showed up, Marcus was already tied up. "What the heck is going on here?!" the girl twin asked.
"Nora turned out to be a bunch of gnomes!" Marcus explained.
"Gnomes?" Dana asked. "Wow, I was way off." She took the journal out of her backpack and read the relevant page aloud. "'Gnomes; little men, or women in this case, of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses, unknown'."
"Aw, come on!" Marcus complained.
Dana walked up to Jill. "Let go of my brother!" Dana said.
"This is all really just a big misunderstanding," Jill said. "You see, your brother's not in danger. He's just marrying me and becoming the gnome king for all eternity!"
"You guys are butt-faces!" Marcus said.
Dana held up the shovel she brought, pointing it at Jill. "Give him back right now, or else!"
"You think you can stop us, girl?" Jill asked. "You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-"
Dana scooped Jill up with the shovel and tossed her aside. Then the young girl used the shovel to cut the ropes holding Marcus. He broke free of the gnomes and got up, takes Dana's hand and they both ran to the golf cart.
It wasn't long before Dana and Marcus escaped the woods. "Hurry before they come after us!" Marcus said.
"I wouldn't worry about it," Dana replied "Did you see their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"
Okay, this is where you came in.
As if on cue, the gnomes appeared, now in the form of a giant monster. Upon seeing it, Marcus gasped. "It's getting closer!"
One of the gnomes jumped out and landed on Dana. Marcus repeatedly punched the gnome off of Dana's face and the gnome fell off with Dana's hair tie, causing her hair to become loose. Thanks, Marcus," Dana said.
"Don't mention it," Marcus said. Suddenly, the gnome monster threw a tree in front of the cart. "Look out!" Marcus cried out.
Dana and Marcus crashed the golf cart in front of the Surprise Hut. Then they got out.
"Stay back!" Dana threatened. She threw the shovel at the gnome monster, but it smashed it.
"Why isn't Graunt Silvia helping us?" Marcus asked.
Speaking of Silvia, she was in the Hut, still in the middle of her tour. "Behold! The Dom Pedro!" she said. "It's the world's largest cut and polished aquamarine."
"It's the end of the line, kids!" Jill said.
"There's gotta be a way out of this!" Dana said.
Marcus took a deep breath. "I gotta do it," he said.
"What?" Dana asked. "Marcus, don't do this! Are you crazy?"
"Trust me," Marcus said.
"What?" Dana asked again.
"Dana, just this once! Trust me!" Marcus said. Then he stepped forward. "All right, Jill. I'll marry you."
Jill got off the gnome monster and put a gold ring on Marcus' finger. "Now let's get back into the forest," the gnome leader said.
"I do believe I have to kiss the bride," Marcus recalled.
"Oh, right," Jill said. "Lay it on me!"
Suddenly, Marcus turned on a nearby leaf blower. "Hey, hey, wait a minute!" Jill exclaimed, getting sucked up. "Whoa, whoa! What's goin' on?!"
"That's for lying to me!" Marcus said. He increased the sucking power. "That's for breaking my heart! And this is for messing with my sister!" He looked over at Dana. "Wanna do the honors?"
"With pleasure," Dana said. She switched the leaf blower's setting to blow, ejecting Jill far away and destroying the gnome monster. Of course, then the twins scared off the remaining gnomes with the leaf blower.
"Hey, Dana," Marcus said, putting the leaf blower on the ground. "I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."
"Oh, don't be like that," Dana said, taking out a spare hair tie from her shorts pocket and using it to tie her hair back in a ponytail. "You saved our butts back there!"
"I guess I'm just sad that my first girlfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes," Marcus said.
"Look on the bright side," Dana said. "Maybe the next one will be a gamma girl!"
"Oh, you're just saying that!" Marcus said.
"Awkward sibling hug?" Dana asked.
Marcus smiled. "Awkward sibling hug."
The twins embraced one another. "Pat pat," they said at the same time, patting each other on the back twice.
In the Surprise Hut, Silvia just finished her tour. Dana and Marcus entered. "Oh, there you two are," Silvia said. "I got something for each of you." She took out two identical boxes.
"Really?" Marcus asked.
"What's the catch?" Dana asked.
"There's no catch," Silvia explained. "Think of it as my way of saying welcome to your summer home." Then she gave each of the twins a box.
Dana opened her box. She didn't look happy with what she saw. "A hat?" she asked, taking out a blue and white pine tree hat. "It's nice, but I'm not exactly a hat person..."
"Just try it on," Silvia said, smiling.
Dana put on the hat and checked her reflection in a nearby mirror. She smiled. "On second thought, this does go with my eyes," she said, adjusting her ponytail.
Marcus opened his box. "No way!" he exclaimed, taking out a grappling hook. "I always wanted one of these! Thanks, Graunt Silvia!"
"Aw, anything for my sweet young great-nephew," Silvia replied.
That night, Dana and Marcus were in their room. Marcus already had his grappling hook on the shelf next to his Pony stuff. While he was working on another medallion, Dana was writing in the book.
Finally back safe and sound from one of the weirdest days at Gravity Falls. This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust, but when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side-with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.
Dana stopped writing for a moment and looked over at Marcus, who just finished making a Pony medallion. She let out a content sigh as she finished writing in the book.
Our aunt told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.