Disclaimer: I do not own Adventure Time.

A/N & Warning: I always wanted to write an 'it's not what it sounds like' type of fics. So don't worry when reading. Poor lil Finn, Flame Princess, Jake and Lady are not being scared for life… they just think they are :P

Marceline was turning 1003 today.

Yay!

But really, birthdays tend to lose something after about the 244th time. However, Finn was sure he was going to make this one memorable for his friend.

Yes yes, he knew how she hated people sneaking around her house. But she hadn't seemed so mad last time they hid in her closet. And there was no sign this time…

What could go wrong?

Spur of the moment Finn had decided to invite his brother and his girlfriend to join in a surprise party. Jake had decided to invite Lady, because the more the merrier.

Unfortunately, the hero had not been able to get in touch with a certain Candy Princess. No one seemed to know where she was.

But with the four of them now huddled together in Marceline's closet he was a bit glad they would not have to make room for another person.

"Shhhh" Jake hushed his friends, who had been giggling, talking about one thing or another, "I hear the door. She's walking to the stairs."

Flame Princess covered her mouth, trying her best to stifle her voice as well as glow from the dark.

"Wait, walking?" Finn whispered back to his brother.

A voice came from downstairs, too far to understand completely, "What you've never _ before."

The group was silently listening. They did not even need to discuss whose voice that was.

They had found Bubblegum.

"No." The Vampire defended.

They could hear the Princess try to find the best way to explain herself-, "Why not, it seems like … uh, something you'd be into." -without offending.

That wasn't working.

"What does that mean?!"

"Nothing. Nothing."

A 'tip tip' could be heard as elegant shoes came up the metal ladder that led to Marceline's bedroom.

The lights did not turn on. They had agreed that was to be the sign for them to jump out. And so with the lights still off, they stayed still.

After honest though, Marceline continued, "I just never … had the opportunity, I guess."

"Well I'm glad. This will be quite a birthday for you then." The pink woman cooed, her voice teasing.

Apprehensive, Marceline whispered back, "I don't know."

"Come one. Please"

What were they even talking about? Finn looked over at his girlfriend confused.

Hiding in the closet, Jake already wanted to cover Finns ears. He sensed where this was going but was too shocked by what he was hearing to move.

"Alright." Marceline resigned. "But keep the lights off." She added quickly.

"Awww" A giggle rang threw the dark, "You're shy, how cute." The Princess continued, unrelenting, "Are you scared of the faces you'll make when-"

"Hey! Stop making fun of me or I'll change my mind. It seems like you're the only one enjoying this situation anyway."

"Perhaps… for now." She promised, pausing, waiting for the Vampire to speak against what was to come. When nothing was said, she urged her forward, "Come here you." Her voice was no longer teasing, a comforting calm. After all, she really did want Marceline to enjoy the 'gift' she had in store for her.

Not that it was much of surprise by now.

Jake had been trying his hardest to keep calm, maintaining the belief that his friends on the other side of the closet door were simply joking around with each other.

But the harsh rustle of fabric and breaths becoming uneven, he decided it was time to go. Jake swiftly turned to their only escape to find she had apparently already phased through the wall on her own, leaving them trapped.

He momentarily considered giving them all up, bursting out of the closet before it was too late. That was until-

"Scared?"

"No- not really."

"Don't be."

"I heard it hurts. And since I'm not used to it-"

"I'll be gentle."

-there was absolutely NO way in the Nightoshere he was going out there now.

"Alright, I'm ready." Marceline sounded confident.

Jake covered his ears, too embarrassed to hear any more. He knew the Princess and the Queen were on good terms now and there were even rumors of more, but he could have never imagined this.

Looking over to see how his brother and Flame Princess were fairing, he was met with two very different reactions.

Finn looked to be in a state of confused shock. The burning girl next to him on the other hand looked as though she knew exactly what was going on, her blush literally red and hot.

With a swift swish, Marceline's breath hitched. Her voice sounded strained as she spoke, voice breaking yet again from another swift motion, "Glob- you said you would be gentle."

"I am. Promise, it will feel better soon." Bubblegum's voice seemed to match the Vampires as her breathing became more intense.

Jake turned to look at the pair next to him again, only to find the Princess of Flames to be looking at him with wide eyes. He tried to be strong, to seem not phased, but surely he must have looked a mess.

From outside a knocking could be heard, as though someone was rocking a small table. This resulted in a something glass, perhaps a lamp currently not in use, to smash on the ground at a sudden change in 'tempo' from the two.

Marceline cried out in surprise and a hint of discomfort.

'Oh my, Glob." Flame Princess mouthed. Jake could not read her expression but she seemed to hold a healthy teenage curiosity as to what was going on on the other side of the door.

What the Glob? Jake thought, How did they get themselves into this situation?

"Sorry it's just been so long since I did this for another person." The Princess soothed.

"It's alright." Marceline huffed. Did vampires even need to breath?

"It's already tight." Bubblegum observed, "Just a little more."

"I don't think I can take much more." Came a whine, "Please hurry."

"Just one more-"

The movement stopped and all seemed to fall in place again.

Still trying to level out her breathing, Bubblegum was the first to speak, impressed by her work, "How was it?"

"Not bad." Marceline seemed to think, "It didn't even hurt."

"Ha! Don't lie. You were acting like a baby."

"Was not."

"So." Bubblegum asked nervously, "Can I flip on the lights now?

"Hold on let me just fix myself a bit." There was a rustling of cloth, but only for a moment, "Alright."

The lights turned on and Finn was the soul one to jump out of the closet.

"Happy Birthday!" He screamed.

Flame Princess followed him awkwardly, not looking directly forward. "Happy Birthday." She said weakly.

Jake stayed in the closet, waited for the screams, wishing the night was over.

"Goodness!" Bubblegum seemed more surprised than Marceline.

As though it was nothing in the world, yet genuinely happy to see her friends, Marceline greeted them, "Oh you guys. Thank you."

"We have a lot of fun planned for your B-day." Finn informed her. "You ready to party?"

"Ya." Flame Princess agreed, sounding not at all embarrassed any more.

Wait what was happening? Jake peaked out from his spot only to find everyone fully dressed and well… not as he expected.

It was then Bubblegum, having been interrupted by the two teens, curiously asked the Vampire, "So, how do you like your first corset? Sorry, it's been a while since I've put one on someone else. "

"Dude, you were right. It is so my thing. I love it."

…say whaaaaaat.

A/N: So how did you like? Should I write more stuff like this?