I do not own Syfy's Alice or the Fox.
I do own a baby.
The Hatter, the Baby, and the Fox
Alice's aunt Jane was visiting for the week. She had brought along her adorable eight month old son, Stanley, nicknamed Lee. Cute baby-chubby. Bright blue eyes. Towheaded blond hair. Infectious laugh. The boy was definitely wrapping everyone around his little toddler fingers. Especially Hatter, former rough-edged conman of Wonderland. He was utterly helpless.
Hatter would lay flat out on the floor and the energetic toddler would play and crawl all over him, babbling and laughing. He damaged Hatter's bits on occasion, as young children are prone to do, but Hatter always seemed to recover quickly and without umbrage.
When Lee grew hungry, Hatter would toss him upside down over his shoulder, and wander into the kitchen for food, giggling child in tow. After a while, they'd wander out back out covered in food remnants. Upon admonishments from the gathered women, he would shrug his shoulders nonchalantly and take the boy into the bathroom. Then somebody would be obliged to spruce up the awash bathroom. It was a self-perpetuating cycle.
After some rudimentary tutelage, Hatter also began changing Lee's diapers. When Lee got the thousand mile stare and began grunting, Hatter would shake his head in mock disappointment at him.
"Is that any way to treat your own ma, young man? No, absolutely not. Come on, then."
And he'd sweep the child into his arms, carefully, and disappear into the changing area. A few times, he did return with baby powder in his eyebrows. But he refused to speak of it, playfully admonishing the child not to either.
"What happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom. Between us mates, right, Lee?"
Lee imprinted on Hatter so quickly that he had a special delighted smile and "Bah!" just for him by the second day. Hatter slept at his apartment, worked shorter hours at the tea shop that week, and seemed to spend all the rest of his time playing with the child.
Alice was beginning to feel upstaged by an infant, but she couldn't hold too much of a grudge. They were so cute together.
Hatter had even started to schooling Lee in the fine art of tea preparation. The one-room schoolhouse they attended was Carol's apartment kitchen. The not-at-all stern headmaster was Hatter. He kept up a steady stream of conversational talk, including loads of tea making information. The infant pupil in question did not show much initial aptitude for the culinary craft. He basically was just interested in gnawing on the tea packets while listening to the Hatter's voice. Hatter took it all in stride and didn't let it deter him.
Alice, Jane, Carol decided to embark on a girl's afternoon out about town. Hatter eagerly volunteered to babysit in Carol's apartment and the ladies gratefully acquiesced. He even received appreciative cheek pecks for his efforts.
They weren't gone long before returning temporarily to retrieve a forgotten handbag. Upon entering the dwelling, they stumbled upon a chaotic scene. Loud, thumping pop music emitted from the sound system.
'big blue eyes, pointy nose, chasing mice, and digging holes'
Hatter was in the living area, dancing with baby Lee in his arms. They twirled 'round and 'round. The toddler had his head flung back, gripping Hatter's shirt, laughing wildly.
'tiny paws up the hill, suddenly you're standing still'
Hatter clasped the boy to his tshirted chest, cradling his head and smooching his button nose while still bopping to the music. Hatter also appeared to be singing the words perfectly and in tune.
How long had this song been playing?
'but if you meet a friendly horse would you communicate by Mo-o-o-r-r-r-se . . ."
Baby Lee reached out and gripped parts of Hatter's face with his moist little hands, grinning and babbling along with him. Hatter laughed aloud and rubbed his face against the toddler's.
'What does the fox say?!'
They watched the adorable performance for a few more moments, Then, in mid-spin, Hatter finally caught sight of the women grinning at him and his small cohort. His face instantly colored, but he didn't falter. He was a showman with a rapt audience. He grinned and dipped down to one knee, holding the child with one arm and the other spread open toward the ladies.
And sang the Fox song to them in accord with the music.
'the secret of the fox; ancient mystery'
Baby Lee imitated Hatter's movements, holding his hand out to his mommy, babbling singing noises at them. The charmed women laughed and clapped at this picturesque tableau. Then Jane stepped forward to collect and cuddle her boy.
"Who's a silly boy?" she cooed at him and he babbled to her.
Alice rested her elbows lightly on Hatter's shoulders, ruffling his hair a little. He wrapped his arms around her waist, the rest of the room temporarily forgotten.
"Are you a silly boy?" she teased him.
"Oh, most definitely," he agreed cheekily as he dipped down for a light kiss.
After some brief discussion as to their upcoming plans, Hatter retrieved the boy from the doting ladies. And promptly shooed them from the dwelling.
"Go have fun, we'll be fine. Right, mate?"
Lee ducked his head on Hatter's collarbone and stuck his hand in his mouth, grinning.
And so the ladies left once more. The Hatter, the Baby, and the Fox remained behind.
A few hours later, the happy women returned again. This time to a quiet apartment. Upon further inspection, they discovered their boys. All tuckered out from their play. Hatter lay outstretched on the couch, one foot dangling, fast asleep, and snoring softly.
Toddler Lee was snuggled in a cradle of Hatter's torso, one arm, and the back of the couch. His head lay on Hatter's chest and a small collection of drool was soaking through the clothing's fabric.
Jane quipped, "Who should we tuck in first?"
"So, I was thinkin' . . ." Hatter began as they meandered down the sidewalk, hand in hand.
"Hmm?"
"One day, we should have loads of kids."
Alice smiled widely at him. He smiled back and squeezed her hand as they strolled. Of course, with any other guy ever, this would be a startlingly alarming conversation starter. But with Hatter, it seemed natural. Of course they would be together forever. Of course they would have children eventually. Of course.
"Okay," she said, savoring the complete comfortableness of this odd conversation. Baby Lee must be really getting under Hatter's skin.
"How many is 'loads'?" she inquired.
"A dozen?"
"They're not a box of donuts, Hatter!"
"Ooh, donuts! I like donuts! How about six?"
"Donuts?"
"No, kids."
"They're not puppies either!"
"Aww, puppies." A beat of silence. Then, "Nope, I don't know how to diaper puppies. Four?"
"How about two?" she suggested hopefully.
He strolled on with her, considering this compromise. Then he grinned again.
"Yeah, two! One for each of us to hang on to, yeah?"
They laughed together and walked on.
One afternoon, Hatter informed them that he was absconding with Baby Lee on a pizza run. Even though delivery service was available, it was apparent that Hatter wished to show off the child to his favorite pizza guy.
"Come on, mate. Let me introduce you to the wonders of pizza," he announced to the child.
Baby Lee babbled happily at him. Anything good with the hat man was good with him it seemed.
Jane was a bit hesitant as Hatter disappeared out the door with her child.
"Do you think they'll be safe?" she questioned, trying to sound casual.
Alice nodded easily. "Couldn't be safer. Hatter's got a sledgehammer."
"What?" Jane seemed confused.
"Never mind. Hatter won't let anything happen to him. Trust me."
Sure enough, they arrived back at the apartment within the half hour.
Hatter swore he had no clue why there appeared to be pizza sauce smeared on the child's chin. The boy didn't tell either. At least not that they could understand.
Lee had been born with a normal left hand. His right hand however was a little different. He had only three fingers and his thumb. These fingers were perfectly formed. The space where the pinky should be was simply empty, smooth baby skin. No disfigurement. Simply just not there. He could use both hands equally well and there appeared to be no other problem with him.
Jane had always fretted over it that hand. She worried that people would think her son was a freak when they saw. She tried not to mention anything but tended to keep his hand hidden when she could.
As Lee was playing with his new friend and giggling at the Hatter's voice one morning, Hatter discovered it. He stopped, blinked, and held the moist hand (babies are always moist) gently. He inspected it carefully, fascinated. Jane looked with baited breath, tension knotting every muscle.
Finally, Hatter grinned at the child who took back his hand, ready for less still and more play.
"Very cool child you are, mate! High four!"
As the three women gasped and sucked all the air out of the room, Hatter held up his hand, pinky down, to the child. After a moment, Lee slapped it with his tiny right hand, laughing in amusement.
"Yeah!" Hatter chuckled back and their play resumed.
Alice and Carol glanced surreptitiously at Jane. She sat, stunned, staring at Hatter and Baby Lee. Her expression was unreadable. She was like stone.
Then the stone crumbled.
And she threw back her head and laughed. Long and loud and full of unmitigated joy.
"High four" caught on quite well.
When Jane and Baby Lee departed to continue on their travels, there was much hugging and tears all around. Baby Lee snatched the hat right off Hatter's head as he netted one last baby hug and high four.
As Jane attempted to dislodge the hat from his weirdly strong determined toddler grip, Baby Lee began to whimper, bordering on crying. Hatter's baby heart could not stand it.
"Ah, let him take it. I've got others. You take care of it for me, yeah?" He waved at the boy, who babbled back.
"That was your favorite hat," Alice whispered.
"Shh, I know," Hatter wrapped his arm around her, watching them go.
He sniffled.
"Missing your hat already?" Alice jested gently.
He sniffled again.
"Not in the least."
Special thanks to Ylvis for creating such a curious, catchy tune that most of the children I know love and play/sing constantly. I fear I may go slightly mad at this point. Haha. No, I'm not joking. ;)
On the hand thing, I knew a kid just like that. And yes, we absolutely did high four.
Thanks so much to Fairyhaven13, CrimeShowsNumber1Fan, and Rammy-x for your delightful reviews! You've made my day!
Thanks so much to Eruva, Roazhonad, and Buddy28 for adding your support to this lil fic.
Go ahead. Leave a review. Come on, you know you wanna. The Fox implores you. Whaddya say? ;)