The stars were almost endless, in a space full of darkness and devoided of life.
But then came a ship made of steel. Almost as lifeless, but within it beg to differ.
At the helm of the ship was a man, sat alongside a woman made of mechanical parts. The man wore a cap, but was just like most of the crew. They wore their uniforms with the symbol for a military sort called Cerberus.
Suddenly, the high esteemed and surely known Commander Shepard came in the flying courters
"Joker, how are things coming along? I heard we almost hit some sort of... rock?"
Joker didn't take his eyes off his trail. Nor did he take his eyes off of his mechanical companion, EDI. "Everything's fine commander, just me and EDI..."
"Don't tell me. I let you do as you do without interfering. As long as it doesn't interfere with the mission or the goals of the mission. Or, as long as it doesn't seem like an immoral choice on my behalf."
Jokers turned around and smirked at the beautiful commander "dont worry. Nothing can distract me from getting us where we need to go."
And then EDI added, with her attractive voice "I'll help him on that part too."
Shepard nodded and walked away. She looked to her navigator, Kelly. "You have a message, Commander. I hope I'm doing well."
Kelly was an attractive woman, and a great woman who did what she needed to do at times. Shepard wondered why she talked about herself like she's not great at her job.
"You're doing fine, Kelly."
Shepard looked at the little console, and there several messages she hadn't read. She once tried reading the messages, but she always fell asleep. But one message caught her interest. It said:
Blak for hire! Does not use pussy guns or require any sort of armor.
Shepard smirked and read on
Very skilled with weapons and one man infantry. Locate on Omega.
"Well... this sounds interesting. A merc sending me messages to hire him. Huh... probably not one of the other mercenary groups we've encountered. Alright," she stood in the podium looking at the places to go "Joker, set a course to Omega."
Shepard, Miranda, and Garrus went to the club, Afterlife. They past all the people dancing and made their way to the owner of the whole place; Aria.
She looked at Shepard and her squad, and said "Shepard, don't you have a galaxy to save?" The blue woman sat back in her little couch by the big screens of dancing women.
"Well," Shepard began "I received a message from some merc named Blak."
Aria sipped her little alcohol and looked at Shepard, letting out small words "Who's Black? Why would someone be named after a color?"
Shepard looked at the message again, and repeated it. Aria paused for a while. But then smirked.
"I think I remember a certain guy walking into Omega, he seemed to be lost. First time in Omega, maybe. First time away from Home."
Shepard stared intently at Aria, waiting for an answer. Aria groaned and said
"I had my men take him to the other club. I was tired of him looking at me."
Shepard and her squad walked away, walking to the other club.
"Shepard," The perfectly engineered bio woman Miranda began "I don't know about recruiting this... Blak. He sounds like an amateur, and even if he isn't, how are we going to trust a merc?"
"I don't know about him actually being a mercenary," the Turian Garrus said "But if he is an amateur, then is it a good idea letting him on board?"
Shepard looked at the two, and said "I won't do anything to endanger my crew or the mission. Just... let me do things my way."
They walked in the bar, and inside was an angry long haired man who seemed to of thrown a glass down to the ground, breathing heavily with anger.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE WHISKEY?! ITS A FUCKIN' BAR, AIN'T IT!?"
The Salarian bartender looked this flannel wearing, jean and booted, revolver toting, chub in the eyes and said
"sir, whiskey is an alcohol that can kill your intestines!"
The man only stared at the Salarian "You alien fucks don't even have a god damn decent drink..."
He turned to Shepard and her squad "not only an amateur, but a violent alcoholic." Garrus muttered.
The man took a look at the three, and said "Hey, girly. Looking to hire a mercenary?"
The commander looked him up and down "Are you THE Blak that messaged me?"
He smirked and said "I guess those damn dusty computers do work after all."
"I'm sorry," Miranda said, intruding "did you say dusty computers? Why were you using computers?"
Blak shrugged. "I don't even know how to use the damn things..."
he sat on one of those stools by the bar and said "I wake up to this world all monkeyed on technology, and I can't even..." he sighed "never really had much skills in technology. Just a trigger finger and a liking to whiskey."
The three just stared at him, as he looked at the glass reflection of himself. They wondered what he awoke from, definitely. But also wondered why he wanted a job as a mercenary
"why ask for a job with me?" Shepard asked, looking at Blak "Why don't you join the blue suns or some group?"
Blak looked at the squad and said "I checked them out. There not Mercenaries. There drug dealing thugs. I don't do that shit. I kill for pay."
"So... youre like an assassin?" Miranda asked.
"No, I mean during wars. I killed generals with AMERICAN guns and I've tooken down AMERICAs greatest enemies. The guns you folks use now... are pussy guns."
"These "pussy" guns," Shepard said "can go through any enemies armor and energy shields."
Blak only looked at Shepard with eyes of anger and said "Un American guns are pussy guns."
"You sure are patriotic for a dying country."
Blaks eyes winded down on the anger, and began to fill with sorrow, but tears wouldn't come out. He said "Fuck... Commander Shepard, you think you could get me some whiskey if I help you defeat your enemies?"
"Well, since you've stated you're not an amateur, I can try."
Suddenly, Blak got up from the stool with a smirk on his face and said "Thank God! I thought I was doomed to alien piss alcohol!"
The Salarian bartender had an angry face, looking at Blak, and said
"The only alien piss you'll drink is the piss you'll deserve."
With the middle finger raised, and a laugh, Blak said "Fuck your drinks, your bar, and... yourself."
They left, and took Blak to the Normandy, who was amazed by the whole thing. The vessel stood in port "I'll be God damned! That's a beaut! Damn! You got any booze on there!"
Shepard went to check on Blak in his quarters, but he wasn't in the engine room that he asked to be in (because it reminded him of car engines).
She heard laughing in the port room, the room where all the cargo is. Grunts quarters.
Shepard entered the room, and there was Blak. The two were laughing around. "Glad to see your getting along with the crew."
Blak looked up, with tearful eyes cause of all the laughing, and said "I was gonna kick this krogans ass, but he and I found out we have a lot in common!"
"We both don't like those lizard Salarians." Grunt added
"And we both woke up in tanks."
Shepard looked at Blak "You were born from one of those tanks?"
Blak shook his head "I awoke from a cryogenic tank. Some bastard thought it'd be funny to get me drunk and shoved me in that shitty tank."
"Exactly... what year did you come from?"
Blak looked at Grunt and asked "when were you born, big guy?"
Grunt looked back at his tank and said "Can't remember. Just that I ran at Shepard, ready to prove my strength."
Blak sighed and said "I was born in 1987, got in the frozen food section in 2020. What's the year?"
Shepard couldn't help but just stare. This guys been around for that along? Almost like an Asari, except... accidentally.
"Damn. I'm thirsty. Wheres a drink when you need it?" He suddenly had a sly grin "Hey Shepard... That Jack chick down stairs got any booze? And horny intentions?"
Shepard just walked out of Grunts room.