It was the same feeling she had each year watching the seasons change and the cold air breeze by and tickle the faces of youngsters as they jumped in leaves. Then the snow falls and they fall in it making angels. She loved watching them form wondering if she had ever been one or was she always an outcast even as a baby.
Hanukkah was coming soon and she was buying candles since hers got lost in the move to America. Ziva sighed as she passed the church and listened to the sweet melody as the singers voice sang in perfect harmony to Noel. She sighed remembering the days of being a young child spinning the Dreidle she made with her sister Tali and her brother Ari.
With a tear in her eye and stones in her heavy heart she stomped through the heavy snow till she reached the safety of her home and sighed. She had wanted to drive but the roads were so icy that with her crazy driving she would surely die and if not break a lot of bones so she shrugged that idea off.
She walked in her warm house and shrugged off her heavy coat, snow pants and boots. Ziva sighed feeling lonely. She had been at NCIS eight months now and surely no longer a newbie but still had no feeling of belonging. She felt a connection to Tony from their nice undercover mission a month before but he was a man who couldn't be tied down and with her past she wasn't sure if she wanted to put that heavy weight on his shoulders.
Ziva sat on her couch and weighed her options. There was McGee who would make a fitting husband she thought. Tim was still suffering though from the death of that cop though even with all they heavy support from the team. She could tell in the two weeks since that horrible case his spirits had lifted slightly but she was convinced Abby was behind that.
It wasn't as though she couldn't take the Goth down but what good would that do. Abby had a strong relationship with her men and Ziva didn't. It had been eight months since she arrived which meant in four months would be the anniversary of Kate Todd's death and in that time she hoped to move on so the reminder of her being Kate's replacement wouldn't hurt the team any more.
Ziva twisted a little till her legs were underneath her and laid her head on the armrest and wondered if this would be a silent holiday for her. The knock on her door shook her thoughts and she quickly jumped up. She crossed the room and opened the door to find Paula Cassidy with a pot of food. "Hi Ziva" Paula said and smiled sweetly.
"Um hi" Ziva said clueless as to who this woman was. Paula stepped inside glanced around the room then looked back at Ziva and smiled. "Oh Tony told me all about you and how you joined the team, so I came to see for myself how you have been handling it" Paula said and Ziva nodded.
She was about to speak when a second knock interrupted. Ziva answered the door to find the whole team standing there. "Hey Ziva, I heard this is the first night of Hanukah and so we thought you should spend it with us since your part of this wacky family now" Tony said giving her a kiss.
Ziva smiled as everyone walked in with presents and food and stuff. Abby hugged her with a giant smile and Tim smiled kindly holding Abby's hand. Gibbs and Jen then followed the couple with Ducky and Palmer taking the end. Ziva closed the door and looked at her friends with a new respect and gratitude.
"Hey Ziva, so care to explain what we do on Hanukah?" asked Tim as Tony rifled through Ziva's movies. Ziva smiled and went to her bedroom and took out her dreidle. She came back explained the game and ten minutes later the team was laughing as they took turns spinning it and taking and putting back Hershey kisses. Tony had been happy when he heard the prizes were kisses and Ziva laughed at his expression when she dumped the bowl of candy on the card table she set up.
Then Tony got bored a while later after he lost all his kisses to Tim who became the winner by luck as Tony called it. He then whipped out mistletoe from his front pocket and the girls groaned. Tim however smiled and as Tony leaned over to Ziva grabbed it and kissed Abby who kissed back with a lot of energy till they were both gasping a minute later.
Tony then stole back his plant after slapping McGee but the moment had died. Tony reached back over to Ziva but she just kept giggling till she was leaning back on her couch in full out laughter.
"Hey Ziva" Tony said annoyed but Ziva couldn't stop. "I'm sorry Tony, but ever since our undercover mission I can't kiss you without laughing" Ziva said and then turned away stopping to breathe. Tony tried again but once Ziva opened her eyes and saw his she burst out laughing and left Tony with a face full of spit.
Fortunately the plant didn't go to waste as Ziva finally clamed down took the plant and kissed Jimmy with much passion. Tony's eyes grew big and Paula felt bad so she kissed him and Tony kissed back hard which earned him a smack on the cheek when he finally let go.
Gibbs finally got the holly but Jen had caught Ziva's giggles and Gibbs couldn't kiss her. "Sorry Jethro, but blame Tony he's making me laugh" Jen said and so Tony was given a head slap along with the smack. Tony whimpered and Abby felt bad and patted his arm but ran before she could be kissed.
"Aw this stinks" Tony muttered and Ziva smiled. "Oh Tony I'm sorry, but Christmas isn't till next week maybe the girls in the office will kiss you" she said and Tony shuddered remembering each year he tried he was given bruises in places most uncomfortable. "Uh no thank you, I like my body the way it is" he said and everyone laughed.
After a few hours though yawns were being heard and then a minute later Tim was the first one asleep snoring peacefully on the couch which was a pullout bed and Abby decided to join him. Gibbs and Jen decided to leave with Palmer Cassidy and Ducky which left Ziva and Tony.
"So, feel better Ziva?" Tony asked and Ziva nodded and finally gave him the kiss he deserved.
"Yeah Tony, I think I finally am feeling at home" she said and Tony smiled kissing her forehead and then led her into the bedroom for some role-playing fun.