Jiyū (freedom)
I may have just been a Vocaloid, a machine programmed to sing and please humans, but I had feelings, didn't I?
I know I was built by humans instead of conceived by a man and a woman, but what made my origin so important? I thought the important thing was that I was there. I know I had a mind that was created by scientists, but what did that change? As far as I knew, I still had emotions, the full range of them, and conscious thought. My nervous system was made of the same material as those of humans, it just had a different origin. It hurts me deeply to think that some people still don't believe I have the ability to think, to feel.
"You're going to listen to me, and me only!" screamed the Creater, or Master, of the Vocaloids, "Remember who created that mouth of yours, Kagamine Len."
He was always saying things like that. He thought that because he had made me, I had to do everything he said, no matter what it was. Wasn't I my own person? Couldn't I make any decisions for myself?
"Yes, sir." I refused to call him Master out loud, "I understand."
"Good, now I want you to keep working on that new song of yours. You can sleep when it's perfect!"
I couldn't take it anymore. It was 2 A.M., and I had been up since 7 A.M. That morning working on new material. This was a normal day for me. Vocaloids aren't like any other robots. No matter if you're one of our biggest fans, or one of the religious people who are against our existence, there is no denying how similar we are to humans. We don't use batteries, we eat. We don't charge, we sleep. We breathe, and make our own decisions, at least when we're allowed to. We learn. But we weren't treated like people. We still had the rights of an object. We were property.
"Yeah, I-I'll work on it. Sorry." I nodded.
I was practicing my performance of a new song, "Butterfly On Your Right Shoulder." I loved the song, but I didn't want to work any more that day, no matter what the song was. I was tired. I spent my days singing and working on dances, doing performances, and taking classes with the other Vocaloids in between. We only had two hours of break time during work days. We usually weren't allowed to go to sleep until maybe 3 A.M. Our lives were busy, we had hardly any time to relax, and we had to stay with this lifestyle whether we wanted to or not. After all, what could we do about it? In the eyes of the law, we were just objects, and therefore had no rights. The Master of the Vocaloids could do whatever he wanted with us, and we couldn't do anything about it.
He did let us have two days a month to do whatever we wanted. I looked forward to those days whenever I was working. Those times when we were allowed to go out and spend time together made all the work worthwhile. It was a taste of freedom.
I remember once, Miku, Rin, and I went shopping together. It was so much fun getting to choose my own clothes, rather than having to wear whatever Master chose for me. I picked out three pairs of pants, two new shirts, and two pairs of shorts. I wore them as often as I was allowed to. No matter how small, any choices I made for myself were important to me. There was no better feeling than being able to make a choice for myself, to feel in charge of my own life, and no worse feeling than being forced to do something I didn't want to do. I hated feeling powerless, even though I felt powerless almost all the time.
Many other times, I went to the movie theater with Kaito. I loved going to see movies. They allowed me to visit other worlds, to see through the eyes of another. I'm not sure which I prefer, movies or books. My favorite movies were, and still are, My Neighbor Totoro and Spirited Away. I was always a big fan of Studio Ghibli films. They opened my eyes to a magical world, one much more exciting than the mundane life I lived.
Aside from the films themselves, I loved spending time with Kaito. He had been my best friend since I was five years old. (I was built to first resemble a human baby, and gradually grow older, just as humans do. Of course, my growing will dramatically slow down once I reach 18, go preserve my "cute" image. Master didn't want to lose money, did he?). Anyway, Kaito and I were (and still are!) really close. We shared everything. I was nearly as close to him as I was to my twin sister, Rin. He was the only one I told about how much I absolutely hated Master, and about how I dreamed of someday escaping this controlled life and going into the outside world, of having freedom. I would get into serious trouble, perhaps even be killed, if it was found out that I said those things. I trusted Kaito, though, and knew that he wouldn't tell anyone. In fact, he often talked with me about the life we would have after escaping. We planned to take on new identities, go to college, and find careers that we enjoy. We would live together. Of course, we would invite Rin and all the other Vocaloids to live with us as well. Kaito is really special to me. To tell you the truth, he is much more than a friend to me.
These adventures were fun, but they didn't last long. Before I knew it, I would be trapped in a tight room, practicing the same songs for hours and hours. Even the "breaks" were mostly used to complete the homework we were given for our academic classes. Sometimes I felt like I had no real reason to live, if you even count us as alive. But then I would think about Kaito, Rin, Miku, and everyone else I loved. They were my reason to live. They made it all worthwhile.
Working on the song, I realized that I had been daydreaming. I should have been working harder, but I just couldn't. I was too tired. I decided to go in with Kaito, since he had already gone to bed that night. He wouldn't mind.
I crawled into the bed, surprising him. He was still awake, and greeted me with a warm smile. He was reading a book.
"What are you doing here, Len?" he asked. It might have sounded like he was angry, but he was smiling and his voice was cheerful, though tired sounding.
"I couldn't work anymore." I yawned.
He didn't reply, but instead pulled me into a warm embrace. We were both too tired to talk anymore, and no more words needed to be said. We just fell asleep like that, in each other's arms.
That night, I had the most amazing dream, though one I'd had many times before. Kaito and I were coming home from work. We were coming home to a pretty, blue house that we picked out ourselves. We were talking about who-knows-what, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that we were able to talk about whatever we wanted to, as loud as we wanted to, without having to worry about any kind of punishment.
The next thing I knew, I was awoken by the sound of a loud alarm. At first, I was angry at the alarm for taking me away from such a perfect world, but then I realized that I would get a real taste of freedom that day. It was a free day! I couldn't wait to see the outside world. What adventures would we have this time?
I noticed that Kaito was still asleep. He was such a heavy sleeper that the alarm couldn't even wake him up. I was the complete opposite, waking up at even the smallest noise. I shook him several times until he finally woke up.
"Let's go to a movie today! Or an art exhibit!" I said excitedly.
"Yeah, that should be fun." he yawned, "Let's just sleep a little longer though."
"How can you want to sleep longer on such an exciting day?"
He hesitated.
"Alright, alright. Let's get up."
We slowly forced ourselves to get out of bed, which took a lot longer than it should have. Then, we started getting dressed. I wore my jeans and new "Perfume" shirt. He wore his long pants, a white shirt, and a new blue jacket. For some reason I thought we looked very bourgeois. We were almost out the door, when we were suddenly stopped.
"Where do you think you're going?" Master raised his eyebrows.
"We were just going to go out. It's a free day, right?" Kaito asked.
"Well, yes, it is, but not for Len. He didn't finish his work yesterday, so he'll be staying with me."
What? He wasn't allowing me to have the free day I was so excited for? How could he?
"But.. I was almost finished with everything! I-it was 2 A.M.! Please let me go!" I begged. I wasn't going to miss one of my rare days of happiness. No way!
"Sorry, Len-kun. Almost isn't enough." he smiled in the most sickening way, "Kaito, you can head on out. Len will be able to go with you tomorrow, I promise."
"But-"
"Now!"
"Yes, sir." Kaito sighed, following the other Vocaloids out the door.
"Now, Len-kun, just how should I punish you?" he grinned, once everyone else had left, "Don't worry, we'll have fun lots of fun together."
I started to feel sick. I had a feeling that this wouldn't be like the normal punishments I often recieved.
I had a very bad feeling.
AN: Yay! The first chapter is done! Sorry that it's a bit short. This is the first time I've published a fanfic for a while, and I sincerely apologize for that. I hope you haven't lost complete faith in me!
I'll be publishing more from now on! I've started working on a new Attack On Titan/ SNK fic as well. But I'm focusing on this story for a while. I hope you will read on, and enjoy! I will start working on chapter 2 as soon as possible.
Disclaimers :
I do not claim to own Vocaloid or any of the characters associated with it.
I do not in any way condone rape or any form of sexual assault. I am well aware that it's a horrible and damaging act. This story will contain things that may be triggering for some. I don't mean to offend anyone.