Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 or any other crossover characters. They are owned by there respective owners. Not out to make any money or fame on others work.
This is a collection of fic's I was able to save of a web archive that has shut down recently. Some had been edited so my text reader would work better. So original authors and extra stuff was removed from the fic .
On the ones that have not been edited I will be editing them so the original authors will get credited for their parts. Also if you have the parts that I'm missing let me know in a PM will edit them in. Same with other fic's if you have them will post for others to be able to read.
Stop & Find : Money
Money makes the world go around [Episode 70217]
by Kestral
(just an idea for later exploration)
There were scads of foreign currency here. Even though it was only 'fanon' that he'd been dragged all over the world learning martial arts techniques - in the case of this Ranma it was accurate. Little paper bands or rubber bands or metal clips held the groups of bills separate, but the stack showed a remarkable diversity nonetheless.
Not wanting the stuff to wash away, and noticing the clouds thickening and darkening overhead, Ranma decided to gather the stuff up.
Large bundles of Deutchemarks (this being before the Euro), bricks of American $100 bills, rubber banded bunches of 1000 yen notes, similar groupings of Chinese and Italian and Norwegian money.
Looking at all the damage to the neighborhood one last time,
Stop & Find - Money: Going to Mom [Episode 70222]
by Red Priest of the 17th Order
Ranma couldn't believe it, he just couldn't. In his arms, he had trouble balancing the numerous stacks of paper currency. Sure, there was a LOT of the traditional Japanese Yen notes he recognized but there were also German Marks, Mexican Pesos, Moroccan Dirham, British Pounds, Norwegian Kroner, French Francs, Italian Lire and Dollars not only of United States origin but Canadian and Hong Kong's as well!
In short... Ranma was holding a small fortune in international currency.
The first thought that had gone through the pigtailed martial artist's mind had been to go see Nabiki. After all, the woman was always heaping bill after bill after surcharge after interest rate fee upon him for some slights both real and more than likely imaged and all of it scammed... it would be nice to get her off his back for at least a couple of days...
"But then again seeing how much this is, she might take it all as bonus interest..." he sighed. Nabiki was always trying to get more money out of him. There'd be no use giving it to her in that she'd probably just make some excuse to keep him in her clutches financially. "Besides..." he grumbled. "Kami knows if I take it home I'll get mugged anyway..."
Although he tried to, the Heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts couldn't repress the shudder that happened with the mental image going through his mind. It was yet another reason why he never had any money on him outside of Nabiki always bleeding him dry. People always kept going through his pack, his bedroll and personal belongings where he tried to hide money or other goods. He could just imagine coming home and being trampled upon by his father and Happosai... and then probably Nabiki for good measure.
But where could he keep this money, whom could he trust? Kasum—no, no... Nabiki would probably wheedle it out of her.
Hey, there was Uccha—no, not her either. She'd probably se it as him proposing to go into business with her or something.
Wait! Here was Miss Hina—damn it, not her either. Yes she was a responsibility adult now and then but ONLY now and then. Who knew what she might try to spend it on as soon as she turned back into a kid... although Ranma had to admit, he wouldn't mind her buying a truckload of ice-cream if she shared.
Cologne? Pfft! Not a chance. She'd probably keep it and try to use it to lure him into marrying Shampoo.
He didn't even consider Dr. Tofu. He stopped trusting that man since his second week in Nerima. The asshole busted his spine in the right spot as to put his legs out of commission... on some sort of internal timer no less! What would've happened if he'd gone a separate way from Akane or if she'd knocked him in the river when his legs went out? "Doctor do no harm, my ass..."
Lowering his head, Ranma sighed. There was really only ONE real option. And if she decided she wanted to keep the money or a portion of it, he couldn't blame her. It was his fiancées that had busted up her home that that time in the first place. Probably cost a lot to repair. Deciding to bite the bullet, Ranma began rushing off... to his mother's.
He just hoped this wasn't a bad mistake.
It was a brisk trek as the martial artist made his way to his mother's home. True, she was farther from his starting point in that alleyway than the Tendo residence was but the fact was when he wanted to get moving, he could run like the wind. He could feel the air rushing past him from the velocity, making the edges of paper money exposed past his arms flutter. Within the span of fifteen minutes, he was at his mother's abode. Jumping over the stone wall along the side of the house, (having wanted to avoid being seen at the main gate) Ranma walked around and up to the front door. Carefully balancing his bundle with one arm, he reached out with his right hand and rang the doorbell.
After a few minutes of waiting the door opened, revealing the redheaded woman in her favored purple kimono. Looking down, the Matriarch of the Saotome family smiled. "Son! What a pleasant surprise! Do come..." she trailed of as she took notice of what he was carrying. "Son? Did you just rob a bank?" Nodoka asked curiously, blinking her eyes at the obscene amount of wealth he was carrying with one arm.
Shaking his head, Ranma told her, "No, mom. I found it." At the incredulous look she gave him, he repeated, "Yes, I found it. That's why I'm here..." he took a moment to look around, making sure no one else was in sight. "Can I come in, mom?" He asked of his mother. "I don't want to talk about it out here in the open."
Nodding her head in understanding, the older woman replied, "Oh of course." So saying, she moved aside to let him enter.
Walking inside, Ranma waited for his mother to close the door. Looking around, he spotted and then walked over to a chair his mother had in her living room. He carefully placed all the stacks of monetary notes down onto the chair, taking a moment to look at the ludicrous pile of cash; it was a bit overwhelming now that he wasn't in a rush. "Mom," he spoke her title as he turned about to face her. "I need your help. I found all of this stuff in a storm drain and... well, I don't know what to do with it."
Raising her head as her son's voice had her attention, she asked, "Hmm?" She walked over to her son when he asked, taking a moment to look over the money, examining it. "You know, it could be stolen currency; Yakuza money. I'd call the police perhaps..."
Ranma winced. "I was afraid you'd say that mom. But when I found it, well... the bag it was all in was rather filthy and mostly hidden underneath a pile of garbage. I think it had been there for some time. If it was Yakuza, it was probably forgotten or... something... I dunno..." his shoulders sagged.
That made Nodoka raise an eyebrow. Why would her son be digging through garbage?
Noticing the look she gave him, Ranma sighed. "What can I say? Once I found the stuff, I figured I might be able to do something... get out of debt from Nabiki... pay you for all the repairs you had to have done... I don't know. I just didn't feel like I could leave it where it was, that I could do something with it. Something good."
The woman smiled slowly, in her eyes it was a very manly think to want to do something good with the wealth they had. "Hmm... I see your point," Nodoka admitted, raising a hand to rub her chin in thought. "...In that case... we should look into getting you a private bank account... one that won't ask too many questions should be our first priority. After all, we can't hide this money under a bed."
Wincing as that had been one of hits first thoughts, Ranma covered up any embarrassment by nodding his head in agreement with his mother. "It wouldn't fit under my bedroll anyway..."
Nodoka blinked her eyes as her son said that. "Bedroll?" She questioned as she turned to look at her son, her one and only child. "Aren't you sharing Akane's bed?" She hoped he wasn't spending his time with Kasumi or Nabiki too much. Akane was supposed to be his wife proper. Did they switch things around without telling her?
Rolling his eyes, Ranma snorted. "Please. Anytime I go near her room I end up getting clobbered by the uncute Tomboy!"
Sighing, the redheaded woman realized her son and his fiancée were still having pre-marital spats. "You know, calling her that is a surefire way to get clobbered son." A serious look came into her eyes. "And before you argue, yes, I know she jumps to wild conclusions but you don't help yourself either," Nodoka pointed out.
"I can't help it! She clobbers me first and I feel I gotta get back at her!" Ranma retorted. Realizing he was raising his voice to her, he apologized. "Sorry mom. It's just what you say... I ain't makin' my situation better but she just infuriates me when she acts up every flippin' time! Just last week I had her throw a bottle of maple syrup at me at the breakfast table for complimenting Kasumi's food!" It had been a rather sweet breakfast.
The woman nodded her head in understanding to her son's plight. "Yes, I've been noticing such about her, sadly..." she sighed. "Genma didn't instill good social skills or even simple tact with you... and poor Akane-chan's anger was never properly tempered. She has legitimate reasons to be angry at times but it and her insecurities consume her... not too unlike you." She smiled wanly.
"Uh... I... you see..." Ranma trailed off, blushing. He never wanted to make his mother ashamed of him. It was one of the few things he held higher than proving his masculinity at every which chance that came up.
Seeing how her son was becoming uncomfortable, Nodoka changed the subject. "But that's getting off topic. As for the money..." she looked at the stacks of paper bills again and considered what to do. Finally, she told her son, "I'll call some friends about setting up an account... another thing to maybe do is invest some of it to help it grow as well as take the currency you may never use and convert it all to Yen, if not all of it."
Nodding his head, Ranma could go with that. "Yeah, mom. I can do that..." he smiled. "So what now? Do we meet later and you give me ideas of what to invest in after you meet your accountant?"
"That sounds about right son," Nodoka answered. Bringing a hand over to him, she rubbed the top of his head. "This is your money, so it's up to you to decide what to invest into. I can merely offer suggestions as to what's best in the long run but in the end it is your decision." She felt giving him such responsibilities would perhaps help him mature.
"Cool," Ranma said, cheering up a bit. Raising his arms around his mother, he hugged the woman tightly, possibly for the first time since before his father took him on his training journey. "Thank you, mom."
Smiling brightly, the woman hugged her child back. "You're welcome, son."
Letting go of the woman, Ranma looked up at her, "Thanks mom. I promise you, I'll do the best I can with this. I'll invest wisely!"
"I hope so," she said as she ruffled his head. "I sure hope so."
Stop & Find - Money: Financial Blood-Suckers (LIME) [Episode 220909]
by Red Priest of the 17th Order
Ranma pumped his legs, rushing back home to the Tendo Dojo. He didn't know how to feel, having had to leave all of that cash behind with his mother—such would likely make her a target by something... but such what she insisted upon and he trusted her to do the right thing before the crazy fuckers his friends found out and demanded a cut for one reason or another.
Coming down off a nearby roof, onto the dojo's perimeter wall, and then back down to the ground, the son of Genma Saotome walked up to and opened the front door. "I'm back!" he called out.
The eldest Tendo daughter raised her head from where she was pushing her broom and smiled at her family's houseguest. "Welcome back, Ranma-kun," Kasumi greeted nicely. "Did you have a good day?"
"Oh, sure Kasumi!" the pigtailed martial artist said in an assuring manner. "Not like I found a king's ransom in various forms of currency and then brought it over to my mother's or nothing—I mean, GEE! Dinner smells GREAT!"
Kasumi just blinked for several seconds. "You found a ransom?"
"Nope, why'd you think that?" Ranma asked nervously, scratching the base of his pigtail, looking about. "Oh, we're having fish for dinner?"
"I... you..." the eldest Tendo shook her head. "Well, I may have misheard," she admitted. The woman then explained, "I would have sworn you said you found a lot of money and went over to your mother's. Never mind then."
Letting out a breath of relief at getting off the hook, Ranma took two steps into the house...
Only to be stopped as there was as he found Nabiki suddenly standing there before him. The middle Tendo daughter had her hands on her hips, glaring at Ranma. She looked the pigtailed Martial Artist up and down once, twice, three times. "Okay, Ranma, what did you do with it?"
The pigtailed martial artist blinked his eyes curiously "...Do with what?"
"The money!" the most mercenary of the Tendo daughters snapped, handing out her hand in a manner very much akin to extortion. "I can smell it on you! C'mon, and fork it over already, Saotome!"
"But I don't have any money!" Ranma yelped out, holding his hands out before him in a defensive manner.
Her glaring eyes seemed to narrow even more, as if to cut him open and see if the money was hidden inside her golden goose. "Right; like I'm going to believe what you say over my own senses." With that, her hands reached out, patting him all over his body. If Ranma had funds on him, she'd find them!
Let's see... her thoughts began. Lint, receipt for ice cream...
Wait; he never pays for that unless he has to! That means he had some money.
Continuing on... More lint, few coins stolen from Ms. Hinako, key to his... mother's house, she finished, smiling, but giving him a few more 'accidental' pats to make him flustered and thus easier to make slip up.
Although flustered, the heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts held his ground. "See, nothing..." Ranma said as he started to step away from the middle Tendo daughter, not liking where this was going... especially as she was feeling up 'little Ranma' and making him feel things that his father had taught him were evil and unmanly...
Only to suddenly bump against something. He turned around and realized it was his father, the lenses of the man's glasses flashing with a dangerous sheen. "Uh... Pops?"
"Where's the cash boy!?" the father of said youth snarled demandingly. "You better not even think of holding out on your father!" he threatened menacingly.
"I don't have any money!" Ranma shouted, waving his arms.
The older man roared in a growing rage. "Liar! I can smell it on you! Don't make me whoop your ass, boy!"
"I ain't got any!" the raven-haired teenager cried, darting to the side and avoiding his father's attempt to grab him.
"EEEK!"
Genma did succeed in his hands latching onto Nabiki, namely in the chest area.
"...That will be a hundred thousand yen for me not to tell Daddy that you manhandled one of his little girls," the middle Tendo said heatedly.
The Saotome Patriarch barely managed to meet the young viper's gaze. "...Soun wouldn't buy it."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "I also noticed you haven't let go yet."
"...Ah, yes," Genma removed his hand quickly and then coughed into it, clearing his throat. "Um... put it on the boy's tab."
"HEY!" Ranma shouted. "No way in hell am I taking that cost on my tab!"
"Of course you will," Genma shouted. "You have money now, you can afford to ease the financial bleeding of this Yen Vampire! You must look out for your old man!"
"Says who!?" the pigtailed martial artist demanded to know.
"Says me!" the portly sometimes-panda individual shouted back.
Nabiki stood back with a smile. "Sorry, Uncle. I don't trade in debts. Cash now or you'll pay later, and an extra ten thousand a day I have to wait for it."
"...No problem, surely my son will spot his honorable—URK!" he cried out as Ranma's kick caught him in the head.
"Oh, please!" the younger Saotome snapped at his father. "I've seen movie villains with more honor than you, Old Man!" Ranma cried. ""Now, I—eep!"
Nabiki decided to stop him from running off at the mouth or sneaking away like his father was, and decided he wouldn't likely flee if she held his 'little friend'. "Now, Ranma-kun, you really don't want to hide the fact you have money, do you? I mean, this is the type of big news I think everyone should know."
Ranma was stock-still, sweating profusely. "Um... could you please let go?"
Smirking, Nabiki was about to comment how he should be enjoying that she wasn't going to charge him for such when she herself was out-yelled.
"RANMA! I smell some serious coin on you boy!" was the battle-cry of the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts as he rushed to the hallway. "C'mon and give your Grandmaster a hand! I know you have enough to spare!"
"What is it with people smelling money!?" Ranma demanded to know, becoming increasingly frustrated.
"It's easy to grasp the scent, and it's an especially foreign smell on you boy." Happosai hissed. "Now if you don't hand any over right now, you're dead, you hear me? DEAD!"
"For the last damn time, I ain't got any money!" he cried out in exasperation.
Happosai narrowed his eyes. "Tell me where you're hiding it, boy, or I'll let Soun know you and his middle child are busy gropin' each other."
"Why are you dragging me into this, Grandfather?" Nabiki drawled, planning several different ways to make the small pervert pay for that. The bounty on his head was rather large, after all, and growing every day.
It was the only reason she hadn't turned him in yet: she wanted to see when it would finally level off.
Sighing sadly, Happosai shook his head in shame as he said to Ranma, in a saddened, almost distant voice, "You leave me no choice... I had sworn I'd never use this technique on a man but there is no other way!"
*Fft*!
*Fft*!
*Flip*!
*Fft*!
*Whip*!
*Fft*!
Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. "Old geezer, what the hell did... you... Eep!" he squeaked as he trailed off, looking down to see himself completely naked, Nabiki now grasping him more directly. Although horrified, a small voice in the back of his mind wondered how the old bastard stole all his clothing without moving Nabiki's hand.
Whipping out Ranma's pants into the air and making them flap, sending lint and a few coins flying free, the old freak snarled. "DAMN IT! WHERE'S THE CASH!?"
"WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS NOISE?" cried Akane, marching down the stairs. "I swear, I can't... even... study..." she finished lamely, staring at the scene before her.
"...Shit," as the last thing heard from Ranma, before it all ended.
Nodoka was smiling as she waited for word from her realtor about making an investment for her son. So far, all signs had looked good for the property to be purchased, and tons left over to renovate and hire staff. "Oh, I wish he was here to share the good news with..."
*BAM*!
Blinking, she looked out the hallway, spotting a nude boy impacted into the ground.
Oh, oh could it be? Did the heavens finally grant her wish, and give a poor, honorable, faithful woman the manly little slut-boy sex-slave she'd always prayed for every night for the past twenty-five years?
Yes, she had begun praying for it well before she got married, but after said marriage, she felt she genuinely deserved it!
Rushing quickly towards the damaged boy—well, she did have that kinky nurse's outfit she had always wanted to use—she paused, looking down... and felt somewhat upset that it was just her son.
She still didn't stop looking. That was what an imagination was for, after all!
"Urgh..." Ranma muttered, slowly opening his eyes. He wasn't exactly sure how it was his fault that the Old Letch had stripped him and Nabiki was groping him... perhaps Akane would have an answer when he finally got home... after the world stopped spinning and returned to focus.
"Ranma... Ranma honey, are you all right?" the Matriarch of the Saotome family questioned softly. "Did you come here as a shooting star, to grant your mother's wish for hot, incredibly naughty incest sexing?"
"...What?" Ranma asked, looking up at his mother in confusion.
"I mean, did you come back to see how your investment was going?" Nodoka corrected herself. No reason to scare the poor boy until things were ready for him to escape back to her womb.
Slowly allowing his mind to restore normal functioning, his eyes focused upwards, spotting his mother—and wondering why she was retying the sash for her kimono. "Um, not really. Something happened at the Tendo's. I don't think I should head back for a while." He may have wanted answers, but he understood that he also wanted to live.
"Well, if you figure that is for the best," Nodoka replied. Oh, she was going to have her son over for the night... maybe longer if she took her time trying to find him some clothes that fit.
However, she'd have to put such thoughts as seducing her son on hold for the moment. She blinked her eyes as her phone began ringing. "Oh, Ranma, head inside will you? I need to get that!" She started to rush into the house heading into the kitchen and grasping a phone off from the receiver there. She brought it up to the right side of her head and answered, "Hello! Saotome Residence. Saotome, Nodoka speaking..."
"Hello there, Megumi from Takahashi Realty speaking," the voice spoke up. "Is this the same Saotome that had been inquiring about the availability of 'The Pink Kitty' on 732 Nekomimi Boulevard?"
Nodoka seemed to perk right up at hearing that. "Oh yes," the redhead replied with a smile. "That is I."
"...You do know what this place is, right Ma'am?" Megumi asked. It wouldn't have been the first prank she had received.
"Oh, I do," Nodoka answered. "I also understand the last owner had a run in with both the Yakuza and the FSA, so, he's looking to sell at a deep discount. And I have been hoping to get my son started in the business world." She grinned. "Hope springs in me that he will take to it and learn how to be a proper manly man in the business world!"
"...Ooo~kay," Megumi replied. Yep, had to be real. No college asshole would be this insane over the phone. "Well then," the woman continued, deciding she needed to get this over quickly. "I'll be sending you a fax over the phone. If you and your son would sign it, then send the fax back, we can see about setting a time for an open house tour... is tomorrow good for you?"
Nodoka licked her lips. "Yes, tomorrow should be good." Oh yes, this was perfect. Now Ranma would HAVE to stay over. "Oh, Ranma!" She called out to her son, the phone/fax machine starting to spit out printed paper. "Would you come here, please?"
Of course, she'd probably have to get him some decent clothes to attend. Genma's suits would have been...
...
...
Oh, who was she kidding? Genma! Own a decent suit? Fool had insisted he could marry her in his gi!
Well, she had to hope some of her kimonos fit Ranma's female form. Then they would simply have to hit a store tomorrow and have him wear the suit out the door.
"Yeah, mom?" Ranma asked, entering wearing only a towel.
"Ranma, dear..." Nodoka spoke up as she took a paper from the machine. She looked it over quickly. "Would you be a dear and sign this document... top line where the big 'X' is..." she said with a smile.
"Um... sure..." Ranma said slowly, making sure he had a firm hold of the towel with one hand as he reached for the other. He signed it easily enough and then allowed his mother to sign.
As she put her name to the paper, the woman turned about, and started dialing the right numbers on the machine. "Okay Megumi, I'm sending it back to you—contract for deposit obligations for purchasing intent."
Ranma just blinked his eyes. He had no idea who Megumi was, but that hadn't looked like an engagement contract. So he didn't think anything of it.
Still he couldn't help but feel a shudder. But since it didn't even rate a '3' on the Scale of Nerima Back Shudders, he ignored it.
"Just got it," Megumi stated. "Okay, I'll see you there at noon. The cleaners should be through then."
Nodoka nodded her head, even if the Real Estate Broker couldn't see the action. "Good. Please let them know that I'd really appreciate it if they get decent cleaners for the blood stains—such is part of the contractual obligations for purchasing the establishment and I'd rather not have to pay further to make certain its cleanliness."
"No worries, such is standard, as well as repairing the bullet holes and cleaning the human organs from the wall." Stupid college partiers. Couldn't they just follow the rules? "I shall see you there at noon."
As Nodoka hung up the phone, she turned towards her son, deciding it was best he hadn't noticed her quickly discarded panties under the table. She'd probably have to get them on soon before he noticed. But she so had been looking forward to that wish...
"Now dear, go get a bath, and I'll see if I can find some clothes to fit you. Then w''ll settle down for a nice dinner. And I do apologize, but the bed in your old room is kid-size, so you'll have to stay with me in my room tonight."
Ranma blinked his eyes, once, twice. "Eh, ain't no problem, mom. I'll just sleep on the floor—I normally do anyway."
"There will be no argument over this, son," Nodoka said sternly. "When we retire, you will do as your mother says, be a man, and sleep in bed with mommy."
Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. "Um... mom? Why would you want me to sleep in your bed?" Didn't she know how dangerous it was? He got attacked in his sleep on a nearly nightly basis!
"Now Ranma, there will be no further discussion on this," Nodoka stated firmly. After all, it would be nice to have a male in her bed who didn't threaten to smother her in his sleep by simply rolling over.
"...Fine..." Ranma agreed. Why were all females stubborn? Oh well, worse came to worse, he'd just have to protect his mother like he always did Akane when she got in the way and ended up causing more problems.
He just hoped there were no marauding traveling princes looking for women to make their princess this time...
Or, in his mother's case, would it be a traveling king looking for a queen?
"Now, I do believe there should be a robe in the furo that was meant for your father," Nodoka continued. "Though he never wore it once," she continued, not having seen Ranma's earlier revulsion at wearing something his father had after a bath change to relief at knowing it had been still cherry. "But the rest of your clothes, we'll have to buy tomorrow. I'll call some friends and see if they can assist us with that tomorrow."
"Really?" Ranma asked curiously. "Why don't we just call Kasumi and have her deliver something?" He was sure she was possibly the only one he could trust in that household to handle his boxers.
Nodoka shook her head. "No; it'll be dark soon, and it wouldn't do to send her home in the dark."
"But she could share the bed with you," he offered.
"Yes, but then it would be tight for all three of us, and that would cause unsightly rumors about all of us." The Saotome Matriarch shook her head. "No, best not to let them know where you are at for the moment," she finished.
Ranma sighed. "Okay, fine..." he looked at his mother and pointed at her phone. "Could you dial for me? I... er..." he blushed. "I don't know the Dojo's number."
Chuckling lightly, she waved him off. "Go take your bath," she giggled. When she was sure he wasn't within hearing range, she snorted. Oh, like she was stupid enough to give those girls any lead! She had just finished decorating this new house, damn it!
That she may enjoy her son being manly, didn't mean she wanted those crazy-ass bitches in her hood, wrecking up shit!
"Oh dear, I may have been watching that rap channel too much," she replied. She frowned and realized she was holding the phone and was about to put it back on the receiver... when a small smile suddenly came over her face as she realized what she could be doing. "Wait until Ikuko-chan hears about this!"
Stop & Find - Money: Mommy Dearest (LIME) [Episode 237340]
by Red Priest of the 17th Order
Lying back in the furo, Ranma let out a long-suffering sigh. This... this had been one hell of a day and he was really, REALLY not looking forward to going back to the Tendo Dojo. That had NOT been his fault, kami damn it! He was not doing... "things" with that blood-sucking harpy-leech-vampire-bitch of a mercenary middle Tendo daughter!
And yet, he knew that is what Akane saw it as, and would likely pound his head into the ground with a tent spike as soon as he came home. Why a tent spike? It was about the only thing at the Tendo Dojo she hadn't smacked him with outside of Kasumi's cooking...
Man, why couldn't she assault him with Kasumi's food? No, instead she was always trying to get him with those culinary disasters she always tried to pass off as food!
So, here he soaked, trying to forget the worries of the world, while enjoying the fact that he could soak here and not have his time interrupted by a tomboy with a reading impediment.
"Son?"
...Okay, but in his defense, his mother was definitely not a tomboy.
Ranma sighed as he looked up. "Yes, mom what can I—WOAH!" He yelped as he saw the woman come in, clad in only a sheer kimono so wispy it was practically see-through. "Muh-mom! What'cha doin' here!?"
She smiled. "Silly son. Dinner is taken care of and I figured it probably would be best to clean up before we dine." She then took off said kimono either not noticing or simply ignoring how her son flailed in the water, getting a view that told him, yes, the curtains DID match the drapes... and that this was likely what his girl form had to look forward to if he had the curse for that long, something along the lines of age forty reaching over twenty.
Well, except for the bottom hair. His was already thicker there as a girl. Perhaps he should ask about that...
"Can you take care of my back, my manly property-owning son?" she asked.
Well, now there was a decision. Help his mom who liked to carry sharp objects—including said silk-covered object now sitting in the corner of the bathroom—or tell her no.
...
...
...Yeah, like he ever had a choice. "Sure, mom."
The woman smiled as she saw down on the tiled bench off towards the back with some faucets. Grabbing a bucket she kept near, she was already starting to fill it. "Thank you for being such a good little boy, Ranma. Mommy is VERY proud of you..."
Especially as she got a look at him down there. Kami-sama! He was as large limp as her husband was fully erect! Granted, she'd had a feeling such was the case from when he landed in her backyard, but there'd been that dust cloud generated from the impact which had made her view a bit hazy...
Plus it had been nearly two decades since she had last seen her husband's 'little buddy' and even then, it was under the effects of lots of alcohol...
Hmm... maybe that was what her mother meant by it being a tradition to do at least three dozen shots before the wedding...
She didn't get to consider much more as her son scrubbed along her back with a felt sponge, and some soapy water. She sat up straight on the back, clenching her legs together and curling her toes as she tensed. "Ooooooh! Oh, Ranma... your hands are VERY skilled!"
Now, while it was odd hearing such from his mother... Ranma couldn't help but puff up with a bit of pride at such praise. "Well, I have been studying Doc Tofu's books when I can." He had to! He wouldn't trust that doctor if his life depended on it! Screwing with his spine and making him paraplegic had been one thing but then screwing with so many medical texts that were meant to help, only to have him rip them up? And then finally to know what the Strength Sapping Moxibustion was but to have no clue how to treat it!?
Doctor do no harm, my ass... Ranma thought bitterly, not noticing how his hand moved down to rub the small of his mother's back.
"Harder!" cried Nodoka. Damn, her muscles had never been worked on so roughly! Personally, she did think that massage therapist at the local college had been a bit too effeminate to work her right.
But now, her manly son was taking care of some of her issues—more after they went to bed and it could all be blamed on wet dreams—at least, according to Maury.
"You sure?" Ranma asked, not wanting to hurt his mother. After all, without her... he might look like Pops in both forms...
Now there was a scary thought... which was promptly killed by Common Sense and Self-Deception... before it was sold to a medical ward where the cadaver was promptly violated by a college student with issues.
Nodding her head, the trembling woman shouted, "Harder!" Damn it, she needed that skilled hand working her spine with masculine might. "Show me how good you are at massaging! Show me you're the best!"
And THAT did it. Ranma might have often felt odd around his mother but when he was challenged, his pride often took precedence over common sense. His right hand rubbed the cloth around the small of her back harder, working her skin with soap bubbles and sudsy sins. His left hand took ahold of the other cloth that had been hanging on the bucket and slid it up and down along her spinal column, getting it nicely between his mother's shoulders.
Yes, it was an odd application of the Katchu Tenshin Amaguriken... but his mother sure seemed to like it.
After a rapid series of cracks, Nodoka Saotome would have sworn she had had the mother of all orgasms! Sadly, she also knew it was both her spine popping into place and internal tissues feeling joy at proper realignment.
Sadly, this also meant her naughty zone was not spitting like a professional American baseball player. But being a female, she could multi-task: thus both enjoy her perfect spinal alignment and plot on how to make her son work on her front.
Ranma smiled a little. Although he was flush with embarrassment, the way his mother was moaning in relief obviously meant he was doing something right. Both hands moved down, caressing his mother's hips for a moment, massaging her tense gluts.
The raven-haired teenager frowned. "Mom, you don't need to push back into my hands. I'm starting to lose my grip," he warned her, having to lean over to try and keep her from moving off the seat, his pectorals pressing into her sudsy back along her shoulders to help steady her.
It had been far too long for Nodoka, and not just intimate male companionship. Had that been it, she would have been working at the local High School in the Athletics Department, like all the other desperate single women.
But no; as a married woman, she couldn't merely sleep with some male gymnast or a speed skater—the rare straight one. Given that her husband was a martial artist, she would need someone not afraid of the small-penised bastard trying to cripple them.
Luckily, her son had no such fear! And hadn't her fellow lonely housewives said that if you wanted a better man, to raise them? Granted, they had probably meant the pool-boys they had visit... but damn it! Even Genma might notice that they had a pool-boy over but no pool!
His hands coming off of her rear, Ranma worked his hands up along the sides of his mother's torso, expert fingers gliding over her hips and up along her ribs, washing into her armpits, slowly rubbing. "Mom..." he said slowly as he cleaned her. "I know you're enjoying this but I'm almost done with your back, you're going to need to start cleaning yourself."
The woman cooed, both from the pleasure of her son's skilled martial artist's fingers and the disappointment of realizing that yes, he almost was done. "C-can't you give your mother a break and wash your mommy's front too?"
That made Ranma pause in his motions, eyes going wide and pupils shrinking to pin-pricks. "..."
It was a conditioned response. After all, when a guy who turns into a girl is hit hard enough for such reasons, even he will wash his girl-side with their eyes closed.
Sadly for him, Ranma was not such a boy, who could connect those dots. That was also, probably why said hits had never decreased.
However, that had also technically been his body. The body currently thrusting their suds-covered top at him was not in said category.
Leaning her head back onto her son's right shoulder, Nodoka nuzzled her left cheek to his right one. "Please, Ranma... mama is feeling surprisingly weak right now... be a good boy and use those marvelous hands to help mama get clean..." she turned her head, breathing hotly onto her son's ear. "Mama's feeling SO dirty..."
Ranma's back shuddered, a solid FIVE on the scale of Nerima Back Shudders. This was NOT good but... oh crap... why was his mom putting him through this? His eyes trailing over to the katana in the corner, the pigtailed martial artist wondered if he had enough time to just bolt out of the bathroom before she could get her hands on it. She was pretty out of it.
And then she whimpered, "Please?"
Sighing, Ranma knew he was going to regret this immensely. Resigning himself to cleaning the woman, his hands, still holding the towels, slide his hands around her torso, moving along the rib-cage, right to the sternum.
Must not look, must not look, must not look... the pigtailed martial artist thought bitterly as he cleaned his mother. After all, who could resist their mother asking for help... aside from lonely men who ran hotels and liked drag?
He was not Konatsu!
"Sure, Mom," he finally verbally replied. As he said such, his fingers dug deep into flesh, working to make them erase their tenseness! As a dutiful son, he would do what was necessary to save his mother, even from stress knots!
Sadly for him, Nodoka could direct him to fight those—or what she claimed was those—anywhere. "Ooooh... that's it, my manly son..." the woman cooed. "A little higher, please... I have quite a bit that needs washing."
Eyes watering—and not because there was soap in them—a resigned and soon to be mentally-scarred Ranma resigned himself to what needed to be done. His hands came up beneath his mother's breasts, getting behind them and cleaning into where they were press against her chest.
The woman's moans were quite the happy sort. "Yes... j-just like that, Ranma... clean nicely and then clean over."
Ignoring the growls he had come to associate with the Neko-Ken being crowded by new mental trauma demanding room, he continued to work, slowly inching upward.
Going higher, he worked to relieve her stress, and Kami help him, his middle right fingernail caught a nipple.
"OH YE~EEEAAAAH!"
And the Neko-Ken growled louder as it was pushed back to mental balcony seating.
"Oh, oh Ranma... just like that, just like THAT!" she praised him, raising her arms up and wrapping them behind his head, keeping her son pressed to her. "Please... work mommy's tits... mommy has dirty, dirty breasts... make sure they're nice and clean..."
Ranma whimpered, his hands continuing to move over his mother's mammaries.
The woman smiled wider. "Ranma..." she cooed her son's name.
The martial artist visibly shivered. Kami-sama, that was a seven! A SEVEN! It only got that bad when one of his rivals came at him with a new technique and/or power-up! "Y-yes?"
"Lose the towels and work the soap in with your hands..." she kissed his cheek. "Please."
Feeling a bit of himself die on the inside—and the Neko-Ken run through the doors of the balcony seating and try to get past the popcorn vendors—he did as told. After all, Mommy knew best... and had a sharp sword to gut you like a tuna if she felt you weren't being manly.
So, closing his eyes, uttering a prayer, and mentally repeating, 'they're just like mine' Ranma dropped the wash cloth and... groped Mama.
"OOOOOOH!" Nodoka moaned heartilly. "Yes, Ranma... work 'em... work mama's breasts just like—"
*RING*!
Both mother and son paused, eyes snapping open as the woman's pleasure and the son's tension was cut like butter facing a hot knife.
*RING*!
*RING*!
"...Is that the phone?" Ranma slowly asked, not daring to hope.
*RING*!
"OH KAMI DAMN IT!" The woman cursed angrily, wondering who the hell would call her. For their sake they had BETTER have a good reason for interrupting her cleaning!