A/N: So, this one is dedicated to Dani-Ellie03 for prompting me to write it despite the fact that she knew it would break my heart *ahem* As it promptly. Writing this one really hurt. I hope you guys enjoy...and it isn't too painful to read.
Emma stomped into the sheriff's station and yanked off her jacket. She felt like tossing it across the room, but knew it would bring her no pleasure. The fabric was in far too good shape to rip from the journey across the room, no she needed to break something. Technically she needed to break someone, but that wasn't an option, at least according to her parents. They were above violent acts of rage. Well, they might be, but Emma knew that she was far from above much of anything that included violence or rage.
"Dammit, Regina!" Emma yelled, her lip curling back over her teeth. Her eyes grazed her surroundings until she found something breakable, something that would give her some sort of release of the pent of anger. Grabbing the unsuspecting object, Emma hurled the stapler across the room toward the furthest wall, and smiled when it smashed into a few different pieces.
Sighing out a heavy breath, Emma's shoulders slumped forward. All that was left in the wake of her rage was an unbridled amount of pain. It felt like there was an invisible weight, weighing her down as she moved toward her office. She needed the time alone. Time to come to terms with everything that had happened recently. Her bottom lip puckered out as tears welled in her eyes.
She could feel the hurt, the pain welling in her heart. It was making her chest hurt and taking her breath away. It seemed like everything she did was wrong. She had lied to her son, and like all lies did, it came back to bite her in the ass. Emma was pretty sure that he hated her right now, it might not last forever, but the looks he gave her, it felt like it might.
Emma barely made it into her office when she saw it out of the corner of her eye. It sat perched in it's usual place, and she can vaguely remember James asking her once before why it was there. Her throat had dried up and she mumbled a lame excuse of having to use the bathroom, he hadn't mentioned it since. Now, it sat there, mocking her. It was her ultimate mistake. Sure, Henry was angry and hurt, and that fact killed her, but he would be alright...he would survive.
Tears burned her eyes and blurred her vision as she walked toward it. She hadn't laid a hand on the jacket since Gold had given it to her. In fact, she had tried to push any and all thoughts of him as far out of her mind as humanly possible. Thinking about Graham only served on painful purpose. It was merely a remainder that she couldn't possibly be the savior. A savior was a hero. They saved people, and she couldn't save him. That was what tore her apart the most, was knowing that if she could have only given into his theory a little more. Had been more willing to help him look for his heart, maybe...just maybe, she would have been able to save him.
Emma felt the tears fall down her cheeks, but she didn't care. It was a rare occasion when Emma let herself cry—really cry, and this time was one of those occasions. Everything that had happened in the past few weeks started to pile on top of her until she found she couldn't breathe. She needed an emotional release, and thinking of Graham was only going to push her closer to the emotional edge.
Her hands balled into fists around the fabric as she pulled his jacket down from the coat rack. A couple of tears splashed down onto the worn leather as she pulled the jacket to her face. She inhaled deeply and was pleasantly surprised that it still smelled like Graham. It was a woodsy scent mixed nicely with the cologne he always wore. It was a smell that would be forever engrained in her mind as his smell.
Slowly, Emma moved forward until she was standing by her desk. She sat down in a huff with his jacket still tightly held in her hands. She couldn't stop the tears now, even if she wanted to. Her body heaved and jerked as the awkward sobs jolted her body around. Leaning forward on the desk, Emma rested her head against his jacket as she waited for the sobs to dissipate.
Emma sniffled lightly when the sobs dissipated. A smell filled her nostrils, causing her to lift her head. Her eyes widened as she stared straight ahead. It couldn't be possible, her mind had to be playing a trick on her, right? Too much stress was causing her to have a mental breakdown, that had to be it, otherwise she had jumped right on aboard the crazy train.
He moved forward slightly, that same knee-weakening smile on his face. "I believe that belongs to me." He whispered softly.
Emma didn't know what to do. If she talked back to him, then she was enabling her hallucination. That couldn't be a good thing. Instead, she settled for staring at him, watching as he knelt in front of her. His hands, rough to the touch, reached out and fingered the leather jacket she was still clinging to.
"You can keep it. I suppose it's only fair."
Emma's eyebrow raised, unable to keep quiet any longer, "Graham...you're dead."
He chuckled lightly, it was a musical sound. Something that she had missed dearly. She closed her eyes to take in the sound in it's purest form. "I know. I hate that I left you like that. That I hurt you. I never wanted to cause you pain." Graham whispered softly, as his fingers reached out to caress her cheek.
Emma felt tears well in her eyes again. She let her eyes drift close as she fought back against the overwhelming emotion taking over. "This can't be happening. I'm losing my mind, right? I mean, that's the only explanation." Emma mumbled, as Graham continued to caress her cheek.
"No. You're not losing your mind, Emma. You're simply trying to deal with amount of stress and guilt in your life."
Emma eyed him carefully, "So, what...I'm dreaming?"
A frown etched itself on Graham's face, as he nodded. "I wish it weren't true, Emma. I wish there was a way I could come back to you. I want you to know how much I care about you. I hate seeing you unhappy. I need you to know that I don't blame you. It's not your fault that I'm dead...that would be Regina. She's the one that took my heart...she's the one that squeezed it into dust. In fact, if anything, I need to thank you. You might not think that you saved me, and I mean...technically you didn't, but you gave me a great gift before I died. You broke my curse. You gave me back my life. Don't ever doubt your greatness."
Emma blinked a few times, his words hitting a nerve. She shoved herself out of the chair, not carrying when it toppled over, her hand smacking the wooden desk hard. "It's not fair! I never wanted to love anyone again...why? Why, when I finally allow myself to open up again...why did you have to be taken from me?" Tears rolled down her cheeks, only causing her anger to rise.
"Because me choosing you over Regina, was not part of her happy ending. She would rather see me dead, then happy with you. It's not fair, Emma. You have every right to be angry, but use that anger. Use it to defeat Regina and her mother. Use it end all of the unhappiness, restore everything to the way that it is meant to be. Doing so, will ultimately give you your happy ending...no one deserves it more than you." Graham whispered.
Emma turned to face him. She could see that he was started to fade away. Her throat ran dry, dream or no dream, she wasn't ready to let him leave yet. "Please, don't go. I—I need you." Those were three words that Emma had promised herself that she would never utter to another man so long as she lived, and yet here she was, saying them to a man that was obligated to break her heart all over again.
"I wish I could." His lips puckered out, as his hand caressed her cheek again. "Please, Emma, move on. I can't stand to see you so unhappy." Tears were rolling down his cheek, as he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers one final time.
It felt like a whisper of a touch against her lips, and it was gone.
"Graham." Emma mumbled, as her eyes fluttered open. Her tears had long since dried, and her eyes burned as they usually did after she had sobbed so hard. Emma looked around her office, and as much as she feared, he was gone. The dream had been cruel. To let her see him again. To talk to him and feel his calloused hands touch her face again.
"Emma?" The voice was soft, quiet, and without accent.
She couldn't find it in her heart to feel saddened that it wasn't Graham. Not when she placed the voice almost immediately. Her knees were shaking, and she knew that she couldn't stand up. Instead, she called out, "Henry?"
He came around the corner and into her office. Tears were on his eyelashes. "I'm sorry, mom."
Her heart clenched, but a smile crossed her face. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Henry. I made a mistake. I never should have lied to you."
He walked in further, leaning forward on her desk. "But I understand why you did. Neal—he explained to me what happened. How he was the reason you were in jail. How he was the reason that you had to give me up."
Emma could scream at the tears forming in her eyes. She blinked her eyes a few times, "I still shouldn't have lied to you."
Henry nodded, "Yeah..." Emma could tell something was on his mind, her brow raised questioningly, as she waited. "Mom...did you love the sheriff?" Her brow furrowed, "Graham." He clarified.
Sighing, she nodded and bit her lip. "Yeah, I did. Still do."
Henry smiled sadly at her, "I thought so. I heard you calling out for him when you were asleep. Does it still hurt when you think about him?"
Emma shook her head, she would never understand how her son could be so perceptive. "Yeah, Henry, it does. It's something that will probably always hurt, but it's also something that I will be able to move on from. I will always love Graham, no matter what, but eventually I'll move on."
Henry got a pensive look on his face, as his face grew sad, "Will you still think about him?" Emma nodded in ascent, "I hate that she killed him." After a moment of silence, Henry walked around to stand beside Emma, "I miss him too, mom."
Emma felt tears well in her eyes again, as she leaned down and embraced Henry in a hug. "He'll always be with us, Henry. No one can take him from our hearts or our minds." Henry nodded his head, as he hugged Emma back tightly.