Love is a Battlefield, Volume 2

by CommanderHusky

The boys from South Park have gone trough a lot together, but now, as they start their teen years, a lot of things change. Multi volume, multi chaptered novel focused on the lives of the four main boys from South Park as they discover new things about themselves. Mostly focused on Kyman. Angst, comfort, hard themes and lots, lots of fluff. Rated M but with some MA content later

1. Chapter 1

Love is a Battlefield

Volume 2 Chapter 1

Sealed with a kiss

June 30

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Hi sweetie!

Hello my big and beautiful teddy bear! How are you doing?

I'm sorry that I couldn't write to you any sooner. The flight was pretty long and we got held up at the airport because of a system failure on the customs office computers... So we barely managed to get to the cruise on time. Then, we had to unpack and get settled in our rooms. Eric, you should see the rooms! They are beautiful and really big. I thought that we were going to be cramped in here, but we have lots of space and the beds are really comfortable. I'm sharing a room with Ike of course, but he keeps to himself most of the time, always reading and watching the room's T.V.

I wanted to write to you last night, but mom asked me to stay with Ike because he was feeling a little seasick, so I couldn't get to the computers room. I had to excuse myself earlier from dinner today so I could get some time to tell you that we got here safe and sound.

Sweetheart, how I wish you were here... I know you would love the boat and the many fun things there are to do in here. And the food is delicious! Although not as good as yours of course... :)

I can't write something too long right now because I know that mom and Ike will come by here soon before going to our room again, but I want to know, how are you doing now? And please, be honest with me okay?

I know that you don't want to make me feel sad while I'm here, but I'm your boyfriend and I need to know how are you really feeling. So don't refrain from telling me anything.

I'm missing you so much, and when I look through the window and watch the moon reflecting on the sea, I wonder if you are watching it too... Because if you are, then I could feel like we are, at least, a bit together... I know it sounds silly, but that's how I feel...

I hope that you're doing fine and even if this trip promises to be fun, I'm already anxious about going back and kiss you again...

But for now, I send to you a lot of hugs and kisses over here...

I love you.

Kyle.

June 30

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Hi Sweetie!

Hi my precious little guy! :D

I can't tell you how happy and relieved I am for getting this letter from you. I was worried sick, thinking that something could have gone wrong... I mean, it's not like you have to write to me everyday, but with the flight and then the cruise I...

Sorry for that, I'm glad that you are having a nice time already and that everything there is going well. I would absolutely love to be with you on that boat, I bet we could have so much fun, but most of all, I would love to see your beautiful smile whenever we found something nice to do or see.

You have to send me pics :) I would love to see that place and you having fun... By the way, try to take some pics of you at the beach ;)

Well, to answer your question, I am doing okay I guess... I won't lie to you, I'm feeling sad and missing you so much that it hurts, specially at night... But I'm trying to be strong and to think that you are having fun in there and that thought makes me happy. Because the most important thing to me is that you are happy. When you left, I cried a lot, I was really glad that Stan was there to take me back home, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do it... I never imagined that I would be writing something like this, but I don't feel so bad anymore talking about me doing this kind of feelsy things, at least not with you.

Kyle, promise me that you will have fun okay? I am here, feeling a little lonely, well a lot actually, but to me it's really important that you enjoy your trip, so don't feel bad about me.

Setting all that aside, you're still using that old email address? XD I thought you had deleted it already because you didn't liked the name I signed you in with... But you know, the instant that the notification came to my computer with that address I felt so happy...

I hope that you can get some privacy there, I know that this trip is about being with your family but I bet that there's so many things in the cruise to do that are way funnier without parents...

You know, I really liked that thing about the moon that you wrote, I do watch the moon at night. I used to do it a lot before, and now, I will do it even more. Because you're right, it is nice to think that with that, we are a bit closer...

You are so romantic and cute, I gotta warn you though, there are lots and lots of hugs and kisses waiting for you here :)

I wish I had something nice to tell you about things in here, but so far I've been boring my ass off, playing games and watching T.V. Sorry that your boyfriend is so boring...

Well, I bet that you don't want to read a book when there's so much fun to be had there, so I won't write more for today.

I'll wait your next letter anxiously and I send you millions of kisses and hugs over here.

I love you Kyle.

Eric.

July 1

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Re: Re: Hi sweetie!

Hello my gorgeous big boy... How are you doing today?

First of all, yes, I'm still using this old email address. My mother doesn't even knows it exists so it's perfect to write to you. And about the name... Well, I didn't loved it then, but I think it's kinda cute and the fact that you created it gives me this warm feeling while I'm writing...

I'm glad that you felt a little better with my letter. I was worried that you might be concerned because I hadn't wrote before. It's a little difficult for me to get on the PC to write because they are shared and there are only 20 of them and most of the time they are occupied by people doing business or something. I don't get it, they're on a cruise on vacations and they still keep working...

Anyways, today I got to try the water slide and the wave machine in the cruise's pool. It's amazing! I had so much fun, even if I was alone. You were right, I wouldn't have had so much fun with my mother telling me to be careful all the time... I still had to take care of Ike, who's still having trouble getting used to being in the sea. But he just spent the time sitting in a chair by the pool and reading.

I couldn't take any pictures yet. My father took some of us getting in the cruise and stuff, but since both mom and dad are on their own most of the time and my dad has the camera, I hadn't the chance to take some pics. But I will, I promise.

Even having so much fun, I'm missing you so much... When I read about how you cried at the airport I couldn't help but to cry too. I never thought that I could feel this way before, yet here I am, on a beautiful cruise in the middle of the summer and all I can think of is you and how much you miss me and how much I miss you...

Don't get me wrong, I am having fun, don't worry. But I just feel that a great part of my heart and soul is still back in South Park. Because you are that part Eric, you are the only thing that can make me really happy.

Just now I'm picturing you there, sitting at your desk in your pajamas and that makes me smile because it's a beautiful image, but it also makes me yearn for being there next to you, or waiting for you to join me in bed...

I never had sighed so many times in such a short while... Hehehe...

Eric, I know that you're hurting because we couldn't spend our first summer as boyfriends together. I am really sad about that too, but I want you to think about how many things we will do together after this summer... I know that I've said this to you many times before, but I just want you to have fun too, even if there's not much to do in our town during summer, I bet that there's gotta be something to for you to do...

I guess I'm a little scared still about you feeling sad... I'm sorry, we promised to leave all that behind and I really tried, but now, being so far from you I can't help but to worry, because I couldn't stand something happening to you while I'm here...

I don't know why I'm bombarding you with all of this. Maybe it's because I always thought I could make it fine by myself, but since you showed me how safe and protected I could feel beside you, being alone is starting to be really difficult.

I'm sorry, I didn't wanted this letter to be so gloomy... Actually, this is the third time I read it and I considered erasing it and just writing something else. But I don't want to be keeping my feelings from my own boyfriend, so I left it as it was.

Tonight I'll be watching the moon again from my bed... I hope that you do it too because I'll ask her to send you all my love for it is too much to be sent just through a letter...

Still, I send you millions of kisses and hugs and I take your words, I'll be waiting for those kisses you warned me about...

I love you Eric.

Kyle.

July 1

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hi Sweetie!

Hello again my little and precious guy :)

I hope that you're not thinking that you have to write to me every day... I mean, I love it, but the point of you being in that cruise is that you spend the time having fun and doing a lot of things, and not just siting in front of a computer writing to your annoying boyfriend...

It makes me really happy to hear that you had a great time at the pool. I figured that you were going to like that. Although I think that I would be pretty much like your brother and just stay in a comfy chair watching you play in the water... After all, that would be a really enticing view ;)

You're right about me having to look for something to do. I know that you left just three days ago but this is already starting to get to me. Being alone in here all day is making a mess in my head. Even playing games is starting to be boring and I can't stop thinking about how much I need to hug you and to sleep next to you... Even just to see your smile would be enough to make me feel alive again...

Don't be scared about what I just said though, I'm not having those kind of thoughts again... It's just that everything seems so gray without you around to light up my days...

Honey, I'm a little worried about you though. I don't want you to spend your vacations thinking about how I may be feeling, or scared about what I might be thinking... I may be sad about not having you for a long time, but I'm strong, or at least I want to be for the both of us. You're right about us having a lot ahead of us. Many more summers to spend together.

Now I'm thinking about that, because before we started to date, before you showed me that good things could actually happen to me, I just dismissed hope as something stupid. I even hated it, because every time that I hoped for something, it would turn out to be completely the opposite, always making me sink even more in the shit that was my life before... But now, I've learned that hope can be a great thing, and that I can look to the future in a positive way. Because every time I look forward, I see you there with me, and that makes me feel a lot better about the future, even if right now things seem a little difficult or sad.

I hope that you see how sincere I'm being right now. I'm not telling you all this just to sound reassuring. It's the truth, and I want you to concentrate on having a great time, knowing that I'm waiting here for you, a little sad sometimes maybe, but really happy about you having such a nice experience. Because what matters to me is that you are happy. So toss aside all the grim thoughts and have some fun on my behalf okay? :D

I loved what you wrote again about the moon... You're such a romantic guy, I love that :) I read that part so many times and I reckon that I probably did it with a big and dorky smile...

I can't tell you with words how much I love you Kyle, even reading your words makes me feel really warm and fuzzy inside. I'll be sure to watch at the moon today, and I'll ask her to send my love to you too... Not all of it though, we don't want to overload her right? ;)

So I'll save the rest for when you come back...

By the way, I'm glad that you liked the address in the end... I still remember when I created that account when we wanted to play that online game... We had been studying those turtles at school and I thought that the name suited you perfectly. Those are really cute and small creatures, but if you mess with them, you may end up losing a finger... Kinda like you XD

Anyways, I won't take much more of your time with my ramblings now. I just want you to know that everything is fine over here and that I'm missing you a lot and waiting for you to come back with a lot of stories to tell while I hold you and kiss you a lot... :)

I send millions of kisses and hugs to you.

I love you.

Eric.

July 3

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Finally a picture! :)

Hello my big and beautiful teddy bear. How are you doing?

I know that you said that I don't have to write to you every day, but I wanted to anyway. Although I decided to wait a little this time because I wanted to send you something...

A picture of a really big pool, filled with people having fun can be seen. In the middle of the frame, Kyle is standing by the pool, waiving at the camera. Clad in a green and white swim short that obviously doesn't fit him so well as when he bought it. His really pale skin glistening under the fierce Florida sun and many drops of water can be seen falling off Kyle's body and messy hair as if he had just stepped out of the water. Kyle's smile is wide and warm and it really transmits the joy he is feeling at that moment.

I thought a lot before sending you this picture; I'm just so embarrassed of it... Those shorts are really tight now that I gained a little weight since I got them last summer... Mom already told me that we're gonna look for another one at the cruise's shop.

Anyways, I wanted to show you a little of what's become my days in here. I spend most of them at the pool, I never thought I could enjoy it so much! At night, we always have dinner in the cruise's restaurant while the ship's band plays live. They're pretty good and they mostly do covers of popular songs.

I caught Ike having some bacon from the buffet counter today, while mom and dad were distracted... He was so scared about me telling them, but I told him that I wasn't gonna tell if he didn't tried to do it again.

At least is reassuring that he's feeling okay enough to eat that after spending most of the past few days throwing up... So we just left it at that and now he owes me one.

There are so many things to do in here Eric... I'm loving this place! Although I haven't done much besides staying at the pool, I will explore the ship some more tomorrow.

Have you been alone all of these days sweetheart? I thought that at least your mother would be there. I know that it's not the best company, but at least it could be, I don't know, safer for you?... I'm really sad and mad about all of that... I know that you told me not to worry about it but I just can't help it. I love you, I don't want you to be forced to spend most of your time alone, having to do all by yourself. I wish I could do something to help you, just getting mad about this doesn't solve the problem and I feel so impotent right now...

I was about to tell you to at least call Stan over or something, but I just remembered that he was leaving today...

I'm feeling like the worst boyfriend now, leaving you all alone for the whole summer... I know that it wasn't on purpose and I know that I should be glad about this trip and I really am. But I would also like to do something to make you feel better.

Sorry for starting over with this again, it's really hard for me to write to you without thinking about the person I love so much being all alone while I'm over here having fun. I promise I'll try to not be such a downer from now on...

Tell me about what you've been doing, even if you think it's nothing, I would like to know anyways. And stop telling me that you're annoying or boring already! You're nothing like that. You are the most beautiful and precious guy I've ever met and I love you, so don't say that again okay?

I laughed a lot about the turtle thing you wrote... You really think that of me? I mean, I know I'm smaller than you and that I have a temper... But I'm nothing cute like that...

I'm glad that you liked what I said in the last letter. I was worried that you could find that really corny and stupid... I don't know what came over me, I never thought myself as a romantic guy, but thinking about you just makes all those words and feelings to come out.

I have to leave now, it's pretty late and they're closing this area for the night. I'll go back to my room to think of you until I fall asleep like I always do...

I send to you millions of hugs and kisses my sweet big guy.

I love you.

Kyle.

July 4

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Finally a picture! :)

Hello my gorgeous little guy!

First of all... WOW! That picture was amazing! I couldn't stop staring at it for like an hour or so. You're so beautiful Kyle, I've never seen anyone so handsome and hot as you... And those shorts man... :P

Thank you so much for sending me this. I was so anxious and needing to see you again, even like this.

I'm happy to hear that you're having a great time at the pool :) Yesterday I was thinking of going to the public one in here to at least do something, but it's closed until at least one more week because the filters got broken or something like that. So there goes one of the few decent things to do in here during summer...

Sorry for not replying sooner, I went to bed early yesterday and slept like a log until 10am. I've never slept so much in a row. Somehow I was feeling really tired yesterday after we came back from saying goodbye to Stan. Kenny got some free time at the shop and we went to Stan's house to spend at least a little while with him before they left.

I may go by Kenny's today again, since his father is not opening the shop for obvious 4th of July reasons... By the way, are they gonna do something special on the cruise for today? I would love to see some real fireworks. The ones people use in here are always kinda crappy.

To answer your question, yes, I've been alone all week. My mother was supposed to come back today but I haven't seen her so far.

Honey, I've been alone for years now, having to fend off myself and even if it stings a little still, I've become used to it. The only thing I really miss is you and hanging out with the guys... So don't worry about me. My mother wouldn't be of much help regarding security issues, and it's not so easy to break in here or something after all...

The only thing I'm starting to worry of is that I haven't felt like cooking anything elaborate these days, so I've been living off pizza and burgers again... But I promise I'll do something about it.

At least being alone here has its advantages. The days are starting to get really hot in here; people are already saying this could be the hottest summer in South Park's history. So I spend most of the day with little clothes on (or sometimes nothing at all :$) in the living room where it's cooler than the rest of the house.

So I see that you're not the only sneaky Broflovski in there... ;) I laughed a lot at your brother trying to get some bacon behind your parent's backs, I guess he's one of my people now... XD But jokes aside, I'm glad that he's feeling better now. You know? I never told you before but I like that little Canadian stump... He can be weird sometimes but he's funny and very clever, I respect that.

Sweetie, don't worry about sounding corny sometimes, maybe I don't look like it but I really like that stuff :$ I mean, I've been feeling the same way since I started to fall in love with you. Never got to the point of writing poems and stuff, but many times I've found myself thinking really corny things about you and seeing that you feel the same way feels so good to me. :)

I don't know what I could tell you about my days in here, I mostly wake up, eat something, play video games, eat some more, watch TV, eat some more, play again and then go to bed... (Sometimes I eat some more before going to bed...) I haven't done anything remarkable as of now, but I'll get out of here tomorrow. I've decided to spend the day outside the house to at least do something else than lazying on the couch all day. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, but I'm not even enjoying it anymore. I miss you so much and doing that only makes my mind to get messed up again and I don't want that.

Kyle, I don't like to repeat myself but I'll tell you again: You're not a bad boyfriend for going on vacations with your parents. Yes, it sucks for both of us to be apart, it hurts to know that I won't be able to kiss you again for a month, but this is something that we gotta get used to. I really get it now. We're not gonna be able to spend the whole day with each other in the future, even if we were living together. And there's gonna be a time when we're gonna have to spend another time like this being far from each other, but that's just a part of what a couple is. Because we're together but we're also two guys that have their own lives and I think it's great that we do things on our own sometimes. So don't think like that anymore okay?

Well, I guess that by now you must be enjoying something nice on the cruise's restaurant before the festivities, so I'm gonna get something done in here and then I'll head to Kenny's...

Before I leave, I want to tell you that I also think of you every night. The poor Clyde Frog must be really tired of me squeezing him all night... :$ I really miss you and I love you much more than what words can transmit.

I send you millions of kisses and hugs.

Love you.

Eric.

July 5

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Re: Re: Finally a picture! :)

Hi my sweet teddy bear.

I'm really glad that you liked the picture, even if I'm still embarrassed about it, I think it didn't came out so bad as I expected. Mom bought me a new pair of shorts earlier today and they fit me really well now. Although I haven't gotten rid of the old ones as she wanted, I see that you liked them so I may show them to you in the flesh when I come back...

Oh my god... You're not only bringing out a romantic side in me, but also a flirtatious one...

Anyways... The festivities for the 4th of July were pretty nice. There was a huge dinner and toast at the restaurant and then, when the night fell, we all went to the main deck to watch the fireworks that were being launched from the cruise itself. They were so awesome! You know that I don't like the sound of them, it just gets in my nerves and most of the times I end up with headaches, but this time it was really worth it. My dad filmed some of the show so I'll bring it to you when I get back.

Thanks for caring about Ike by the way. I really appreciate that. I never thought that you could get to like him, but it makes me really happy. He respects you too you know? He would always repeat what you said when he was littler and some times that we have talked before, Ike always said that he was pretty sad about you being so mean, because you are so intelligent and knowledgeable... But I think that now you two could actually get along even better. That would be really great for me, because you and him are two of the people that I love the most in the world...

I'm sorry about the pool thing... I know how you liked that and it would have been great to get your mind off those sad thoughts... But at least you say that they're gonna open it again in a week? Maybe you could still have some fun there before summer ends.

And even if that doesn't work, I bet you will find something else to do...

How things went yesterday at Kenny's home? I hope that you had fun in there and that Kenny's father is not being too hard on him. Kenny is a hard worker but he deserves vacations too...

I hope that Stan is okay too, he must have arrived to L.A. already so I think I'll write to him too.

You know, I'm still a little embarrassed about it, but what you said about being alone in your house with no clothes on... That got me thinking some pretty... Hot things all night long... I still think about it now and I have never felt like this before. I mean, I know that I've been telling you that I want to wait before we do that kind of things, but a part of my mind is like desperate to finally see you like that... This is worrying me a little to be honest. Because I love you, I like you like I've never liked anyone before and I feel the desire to be with you like that. But at the same time, every time that I think of it, I have this strange and kinda horrible feeling through all of my body that freezes me and makes me feel uneasy. I don't know what's happening to me, and I don't want you, or even me, to think that I don't like you...

I'll try to think about all this to see if I can make any sense of it, because I don't want anything to mess up with the wonderful feeling I have when I think of you...

Sorry for going into the gloomy side again... It's not my intention but I feel that I can tell you anything and I often have those kind of thoughts in my head... Although I wouldn't want to annoy you with them or get you worried...

Anyways, there's another image that has been constantly in my mind since your last letter and it's the one of you sleeping while holding Clyde Frog... My precious and cute teddy bear... That is so sweet, I felt my heart melting when I read that and still feels like that whenever I think about it. You are a really sweet and tender guy Eric and I love that, because it makes me realize that I have everything I wanted in you... You are strong and caring and that makes me feel protected and safe, but you're also so sweet and cute which makes my heart to feel warm and at peace... I love you so much Eric...

Well, I don't want to annoy you anymore with my mellowness... So I'll be going now, hoping that you are feeling better after spending some time outside your house...

I send you millions of hugs and kisses over here.

I love you my sweet big guy.

Kyle.

July 5

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Finally a picture! :)

Hi little sweet guy :)

I just got up from a pretty long nap and came straight to see if there were any news from the cutest and most beautiful guy in the world and lucky me, here was your letter :D

It's like if we had been synchronized or something...

I'm happy that you liked the fireworks yesterday. It must have been quite a bother to you since the fireworks must have exploded pretty close... I hope that you're feeling better now. I still remember how bad you felt last year when we were at Stan's house and his father lit those big multi-layered ones that Stan's uncle bought in the border... You probably don't remember about it, but when you went to lay on Stan's couch while we were eating, I covered you with a blanket because you were kinda shaky and I thought that you maybe were having a fever or something...

Anyways. Things in here went pretty smooth. I stopped by Kenny's around 4 pm and we spent the afternoon playing games. That guy is still annoyingly good, even after many days without practicing... Just before the sun had set, we went to the grocery store to buy some burgers and we ran into Butters on the way back. Man... You should have seen their faces... Neither of them could look at each other, Butters was hella embarrassed and Kenny was just looking pretty sad. I sped up things a little and said that we needed to go back quickly.

Back at Kenny's, after the fireworks (which were pretty lame as I had thought) we went to Kenny's room and I asked what the hell was happening to him. The guy tried to evade the issue but I insisted and he finally said that he had been thinking about Butters since that incident at your birthday party and that he couldn't get him out of his head. And that running into him had just made things worse.

I think that our Kenny is falling for Butters and I don't know if I find that amusing or plain worrying.

I mean, I never imagined Butters being with anyone, he's like, I don't know... Too slow or something... And him pairing up with Kenny could be something worth to be seen... But on the other hand, I know that Butters doesn't really want anything with Kenny, which is a bust because I can see that Kenny is getting into him pretty deeply.

I'll try to talk some sense into Kenny if I can see him again this week. I can't let him to fall in love for the first time with someone that won't reply.

Oh Jesus... I'm becoming a softie... This is your fault Kyle, being with you is making me turn into a chick flick character or something. XD

You know, now that I think about it, I'll may ask Butters to come one of these days. It could be a good way to not spend the summer alone and I really want to know what happened between him and Kenny.

And now to the spicy stuff... ;) You're saying that you're up for some modeling on those tight shorts just for me? I love that idea... :P

In fact, I've watched your picture many times now... And I must admit that it brings some thoughts to my mind that I don't know if you would be comfortable if I wrote them in here... :$

Being serious now, honey I need you to know and understand that there's nothing wrong in us waiting to do those kind of things. After all, we're really young still and even if other people may be doing it already, we don't have to live by their rules or anything. We said that our relationship was going to go slowly, taking things step by step, being careful not to mess it up. And that's exactly what we're doing by waiting.

I don't think that you're not liking me just because you don't want us to make love just yet. I mean, the last times we made out, I could sense that you were really liking that and I can assure you that I was loving it too. So I don't think that we'll have any trouble with that when the time comes.

Maybe that feeling you're getting is just your mind telling you to enjoy things slowly, letting our relationship to settle before we move on with the next big step...

I think you should really appreciate that. I don't want to bring your mood down with what I'm about to say but, that chance was taken away from me years ago and now that we're together, I greatly regret that. I would have loved to feel all that excitement about thinking of this for the first time, but I can't anymore, and that's why I want to protect you, I want to protect your innocence because you are the most pure and beautiful thing in this world and I want that everything you do with me to be as perfect as I can make it.

One more thing, don't you ever think that you annoy me by talking about your thoughts. Hearing you talking about what happens inside your mind, knowing what you think and like and don't is like the most interesting thing to me. I mean it Kyle, I'm really happy that you think you can talk to me about everything because you can, I'm always here to listen to you, even if it's some random stupid thing, I will give you my full attention because I love you so much and nothing makes me feel better than to know that you trust in me to open your heart to me. Well, maybe that and a lot of kisses from you would be even better... :D

Well, concerning the thing about my nights in here... I hate to admit it but I'm embarrassed as hell right now... I mean, I don't even know why I wrote all that :$ But I'm glad that you found it cute and stuff, because well, you really bring all that in me and I'm happy to let your love make such an impression in me.

I don't know if I'm really that sweet as you say, but you can be sure that protecting and caring about you are my priorities and that I will do anything I can to make you feel happy and safe with me.

I too feel like that when you're around. I never felt so safe and at peace as when we're cuddling and I really feel that you make me complete.

I really love you Kyle...

I won't keep you any more from having fun now, so it's time for me to say goodbye for now.

I send you trillions of kisses and hugs 3

I said it already but here it comes again: I love you.

Eric.

July 7

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Earth calling Kyle...

Hello my sweet little guy...

I hope that you're not bothered by me writing again. It's just that two days have passed since I wrote to you last time and I got a little anxious. I feel like I'm annoying you now, if I am I'm sorry.

Just wanted to know how are you doing and if everything is alright in there.

I'll wait for your next letter and I'll try to be a little more patient this time...

I love you Kyle.

Eric.

July 8

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Re: Earth calling Kyle...

Hello sweetie!

I'm so sorry for not writing before! I'm feeling really bad about it now... The thing is that we finally arrived to the Bahamas and we spent these days on the beach and touring around the islands. By the time we came back to the boat, it was pretty late and I couldn't find a moment to sit and write to you.

Except for yesterday that we came back a little earlier but I was feeling so tired and sleepy that I even skipped dinner and slept all night.

Sweetie, you won't believe the beauty of these beaches! I was astounded when we got here. The water is so clear and warm that I could spend hours in it. Well, I kinda did... And the little shops around the beach are really nice. We had lunch in a different place each day and now I'm fearing that I'll gain even more weight because I'm eating a lot. Although it could get even with how much energy I spend in the water and walking around. At night I feel so tired that I fall asleep almost instantly but the next day all of that disappears and I feel great again and wanting to do even more than the day before.

I'm really happy to hear that you had a nice time at Kenny's house the other day. How are you feeling now? Did you got to do something else to keep yourself occupied?

I'm kinda worried about Kenny too now that you told me all of this... The guy has always played like he didn't cared about love, but I know that he is just wanting to meet someone who's really worth it and it would be really bad if he were to fall indeed for someone who's not feeling the same.

I hope that you get to talk with Kenny about this and I also hope that you get to talk to Butters. Kenny deserves to at least know why Butters rejected him so all of this ends well.

Honey, don't feel like you're bothering me by writing. I get that you got worried and anxious, I was wanting to write to you so badly too...

You are completely right about the thing with me wanting to wait before we make love... Now that I've been thinking a lot about it, I realize that I shouldn't feel so bad about it. We have a lot of time ahead of us and we will get there. Because I really want to, but I also want it to be perfect. Not just for me, but for you too, after all, it would be our first time...

I won't lie to you now, I cried a lot when I read your letter the other day. Sometimes I'm so immersed in loving you and in the wonderful things that we've done and will do, that I kinda forget about all that you lived before... But now, when I read that it hit me again and I felt so impotent for not being able to at least hug you. Because even if you say that it's over and that you want to get over it, I know that it still hurts a lot and I wish I could do something to ease that pain...

But even with all of that, you still think about me. I can't express how loved I felt reading your words about wanting to protect me like that. I want you to know that I will protect you too and I will take care and love you with all of my heart and soul. Your happiness is my priority too.

I don't think that you've become a softie... You're still the toughest of us all, you may have become more gentle and open to show how much you care about people. That is not a bad thing at all. In fact, that shows you are a wonderful person that can be really strong but still be kind without being naive.

I love that about you, because it tells me that you were true about wanting to change and it should make you proud, because all your hard effort is giving you rewards already, in the form of affection and care from the people around you.

And believe me, I know how much effort you're putting into this... I'm no fool, I've seen how sometimes you really have to control yourself before saying something too harsh or when you have to show your concern towards someone. And even more when people asks you about how you're feeling... But let me assure you that you're doing great and that you can lean on me if you feel the need to.

Even if you don't think the same, I still think that you are the sweetest and cutest guy I've met honey. You've done so many beautiful things for me and for others too, and imagining you laying in your bed holding Clyde Frog will always be one of the cutest images I'll have in my mind and you shouldn't be embarrassed to share those things with me, after all we're meant to share all of ourselves with each other right? Besides, I love to know these kind of things because they warm my heart and makes me love you even more...

And don't worry about repeating that you love me, I will never get tired of hearing it or of telling it to you.

I love you Eric, you're the most wonderful thing that has happened in my life.

I send you millions and millions of kisses and hugs.

Love you.

Kyle.

July 9

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Re: Earth calling Kyle...

Hi sweetheart! :D

I'm so happy to see that you wrote back! I woke up pretty early today, like I've been doing every day now, to see if there were news from you and I felt so relieved and happy when I saw your letter...

Sorry for being so clingy... Sometimes I think I need you too much and I don't want you to feel suffocated by that or anything.

The thing is that I do need you pretty much...

Anyways, I'm glad that you're having a great time at the beach :) I bet that place is wonderful and that there's so much to be done. I would love to be there with you...

Don't worry about not being able to write back honey, you are in there to have fun and to enjoy the beach and stuff. I don't want you to feel forced to write to me. I mean it, even if I do get anxious, that's just because I've always been impatient and I have to learn to control myself better. So don't feel bad if you can't write or if you don't feel like it. I mean it.

So you say that I will have a little rounder guy to hold and kiss when you get back? :P I mean, you already look amazing, but I'm kinda intrigued now with what you said ;)

But sweetie, I know that you don't want to be chubbier than you already are, so don't take my words too seriously okay?

I think you're right, maybe you are eating more than usual, but that may be because of all the things you're doing now. Remember that you spent like almost two years doing nothing more than going to school and lazying around. Now that I think about it, you turned into me XD

I got some news for you regarding our two blond lovebirds...

I called Butters to come here and hang around on Monday. He came and we had a really great time playing video games and talking about random stuff. I didn't wanted to be too blunt about the thing with Kenny but in the end, seeing that he wasn't going to bring up the issue, I had to ask him what had happened.

You should have seen his face! I had never seen Butters so flustered and... I don't know, sad maybe?

I kinda freaked out a little when he just stood mute for like a long time, I really worried then.

Finally, Butters told me that he was taken by surprise when Kenny asked him if he wanted to dance and told him that he was cute. Maybe Kenny is losing his touch or he was just too affected by Butters because he told Butters that he wanted to kiss him right then... Butters of course freaked out but just told Kenny that he felt flattered by that, but that he couldn't do it.

And here's where the thing gets really interesting... After pestering him a little, I finally got out from him the reason for that. The guy has a crush on, listen to this, not one but TWO guys!

Gotta admit that I was really taken aback by that and couldn't reply for a while. When I came to my senses, Butters face looked like if he was gonna explode from the embarrassment and he didn't dared to look at me... I kinda felt bad for him but my curiosity was too big and I asked him who they were.

Of course that Butters didn't wanted to tell me, he barely confessed that already, but I managed to get that he has been crushing on a guy for like years now, but he started to feel that he has zero chances with him. Then, a little while ago, he started to feel something for another guy and he hopes that it could be at least a little easier with him...

I don't know who those guys are but I'm pretty sure that they're from our school, although I'm not sure if they're from our own grade or not...

After a while, Butters was looking really stressed and for a moment I thought I was talking to Tweek there... So I laid off the issue and changed the subject, I didn't wanted the guy to faint or have a breakdown or something.

We spent the afternoon pretty fine, but after that conversation I could feel that Butters was feeling a little uncomfortable, so I told him that I was tired and he went back home. I was wanting us to watch a movie too but I could see that the guy wasn't feeling quite alright after his confession.

I tell you Kyle, this thing of me being good is really hard... I mean, I have like the biggest news in my hands right now and it tempts me to reach even deeper into this. But at the same time, I really care about Butters. After all, he has always cared about me, even when I did a lot of horrible things to him before and now I feel like I don't want him to feel bad...

Besides, I still gotta talk to Kenny about this. But again, I don't know if it will be really better for him to know that Butters likes someone else...

I wish you could help me with this, you always know what to do about this sentimental stuff... Even Stan would know what to do... I feel so overwhelmed now. It kinds of embarrass me to admit all this. I've always said that I can handle everything, but now, I have two of my best friends torn because of their feelings and I'm here, not knowing how to handle it. I'm so useless when it comes to things of the heart...

Anyways, I'll see what I can do about all of this. I just hope that I don't mess it up like always.

Sweetie, about the thing from my past... You're right, it still hurts. I think it will hurt forever... But that belongs to another life already. I have a new one now. A life full of new and wonderful things and people, a life that I had never imagined I could have. I owe that life to you Kyle, so don't you ever feel like you're not doing anything to make me feel better, you gave me a new life. To me that is worth much more than you could understand.

It makes me truly happy to know that you see how much of myself I'm giving to change... I can't tell you with words how much that helps me to keep going with all of this.

Sorry, I'm just a little too moved right now to keep writing...

I love you Kyle Broflovski. You are my life...

Eric.

July 9

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Sorry...

Hello again sweetie.

I'm sorry about ending the last letter like that. I regret not having waited a little to continue with it. I was feeling really moved by all of what I was writing...

Knowing that you can see how much I've changed and the hard work I'm doing to keep it up is what keeps me going on this track, the one that I know now it's the right one. But that also brings things upon me that I'm not quite prepared to handle, at least not in a calmed way.

Dealing with feelings has never been my strong point. Even less if those feelings involve realizing and feeling guilt about all I did in the past. But that's not the only thing that has been on my mind now.

I've been thinking about us, a lot. About how things are going now and about our future... Kyle, I've never been more sure about anything before than the fact that I want to spend the rest of my life beside you. I already told this to you but the thing is that thinking about that also scares me. Reading what you said in your last letter I take it that you're aware that this change is not a simple matter to me. Changing the way I act is starting to be less difficult with each day, but what's really worrying me is what happens inside my head.

Before I started to change, I used to cope with the world around me by detaching myself from it. I used to even enjoy the feeling of not really belonging to this world. Seeing that all the other people were just like some kind of game character that I could play with, made me feel so powerful and also allowed me to just shrug all the sorrow I caused to them.

But now I'm starting to feel tied to this world and to the people around me. When I see you sad or crying I can feel that pain inside my heart too. Even if I'm not the reason of it. I guess my mind filled itself up with so many disgusting stuff that now it's struggling to find some space for the good things that have started to happen to me, and also for the regret of what I did.

That struggle often takes a heavy toll. I always try to keep it cool, to remain calmed on the outside even if inside my head things are moving insanely fast. Sometimes I'm scared of that making me snap one day and hurt you... You've seen that I sometimes react violently to things overwhelming me. I'm really afraid of one day, instead of punching a wall, that I could hit you...

Kyle, I need help. You're doing a wonderful job keeping me on the right track and I don't want to put this kind of pressure on you, but I don't know if anyone else could help me like I think you could...

I've thought of going to a therapist, but that requires a level of trust I'm not willing to give to a stranger and without that, no therapy can work.

I hope that all of this that I'm writing now doesn't bring down the great mood you are having, but I do want to talk about this when you get back. In the meantime, I'll try to keep my mind away from these thoughts by maintaining me occupied.

I love you Kyle...

Eric.

July 10

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Re: Sorry...

Hello my sweet big guy.

I've spent like a whole hour in front of the PC trying to find the right way to begin this letter, but I see now that there is no right way so I'll just start with what's concerning me the most.

Eric, I'm not afraid of you. You shouldn't be afraid of yourself either. The fight you're keeping now, against that old you who didn't cared about people, who enjoyed with the pain of others, who hurt us and you a lot, is the biggest you have fought. I know that and even if you can't see it now, I want to tell you that you're winning it. Never before I saw so much love, care, kindness, selflessness and sincerity in you like I'm seeing now. It is a scary thing having to fight against one's own mind, but let me assure you that you are in control of yourself. I know this because when we talk, when you hold me, when I see you doing something nice for our friends, I can see that the one doing all of that is the real Eric Cartman.

I've seen you acting before, I've seen you lying, deceiving and I know that this is not the case. On the pretty scarce moments of sincerity you've had before, I always could see a beam of passion and pride on your eyes that was unmistakable. Whenever you acted nice just to get something, even if your performances were flawless, I could never see that shine on you.

But now, since you started to change, since we started to be together, I can see that shine easily, even more when you're feeling happy about doing something right. That's what is making me believe in you having the strength needed to overcome that toxic way of thinking you had before.

I've been really worried when you have shown those bits of rage whenever something goes over your head. Sadly most of those times it's me who has been responsible for triggering them. But let me tell you that I believe in you, I believe that you have what it takes to really take control of your life and not let your violent past to take over.

I'm glad that you're asking for help... Not because of what's making you needing it, but because that is another sign of you leaving your past behind. I want to help you Eric, although most of the times I feel pretty useless because I don't know how to really do it. But be sure that I will try, I'll be there for you and will do all I can to help you with whatever you need.

I've thought many times about suggesting you to go see a therapist... But I reached the same conclusion as you. I know there are some issues that you wouldn't want to discuss with a stranger, even if there's a supposed confidentiality... And sadly, without going over all of the things that did you so much damage in the past, there's no way to really solve the matter.

Maybe, when some time has passed and you have some freedom, you should go to see one without the possible repercussions of the things from your past.

You're right about us talking over all this when I get back. A letter doesn't give one the freedom to really express all that needs to be said about this and sometimes, mere words aren't enough and I think us being close to each other could make talking about these issues more easy.

I want to talk about the other things that you mentioned but first, I wanted to let you know that I love you and I believe in you. We'll talk about the other stuff once I know that you are feeling at least a little better...

I'll wait anxiously for your response.

I love you Eric.

Kyle.

July 11

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Re: Sorry...

Hello again little one.

I'm sorry for making you wait for a response. I wanted to write to you as soon as I got your letter but in the end I decided to wait a little more so I could write with my head clearer.

First of all, I am feeling better now. Telling you all those things that were going around in my mind was like easing a pressure valve. I feel a lot less stressed about it because I know that being able to tell you that kind of stuff, is the first step to fixing them.

But what made me feel a lot better was all that you said. I can't tell you how important all that is to me, because I've been really scared about not being able to maintain this change, but you're telling me that you believe in me, that you really see that I can pull through this... Kyle, I wouldn't have been able to do this without you...

I know that I'll have to wait a little longer, but I want to hold you so badly now... And I want you to hold me...

Honey, I'm so sorry about putting you through this when you're supposed to be having fun in there... I won't do it again, I promise.

Don't worry about me anymore. I'm fine now and I'll try to keep these kind of things out of my mind, at least for now. After all, I want to be able to enjoy this summer too...

I love you Kyle.

Eric.

July 12

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: A little something...

Hello again my big and precious teddy bear.

I'm really happy about you feeling better. I was really worried and sad about how bad you were feeling... I wish I could do more than just write to you now, but what I wrote before, I did it pouring all my heart in each word. I really believe in you and I want you to know that I'm here for you, to help you and love you and to build our happy future together.

Honey, don't apologize for telling me how are you feeling okay? I want to know if you're feeling sad because I want to at least try to do something. I really want you to be happy and telling me about your feelings is the only way we both can make that possible. You're not ruining my summer or something, don't think like that. Yes, I cried when I read about all that was happening to you, because I feel your pain too and I wish I could do something to ease your grief. But like I said before, I don't want you to refrain from telling me if something's wrong or if you're feeling sad. We are a couple and we should deal with all of that together.

Well... Now I'm gonna try to change the mood a little here... Since you were so happy when I sent you the first photo days ago, I thought it was time for me to give you a little something again...

Pasted on the email, there's a photo of a huge and colorful beach. Luminous, almost white, sand reflecting the ardent summer sun in contrast with the deep aquamarine blue of the ocean. The beach seems to be teeming with people. In the middle of the shot, Kyle is standing with his back to the ocean. A huge smile on his face and his hand raised, waiving to the viewer. Wearing only a pair of lime colored swim shorts, Kyle's skin doesn't looks so pale anymore and a light pattern of freckles has started to appear on his shoulders.

Again, I had to ask Ike to take me a picture because I feel it's kinda obvious that this photo is meant to be seen by someone special, since It's only me in it... So I'm sending it to you and then erasing it from the camera... Feels kinda stupid to do that kind of thing, but I don't want to take an unnecessary risk.

Ike's being great about this whole thing though... He kinda knows that I'm seeing someone, although I haven't told him who of course. But I'm feeling way better now because he's showing me that he is cool with that and he has promised not to tell anyone until I'm ready.

I really want to tell him everything but I think that it's still pretty soon. Not because of us, but because of even if he is a great guy, no one is completely safe from a slip up and I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on him or having my parents finding out about us that way.

I've been thinking about our friends a lot too. Were you able to talk with Kenny lately?

That thing about Butters left me a little in shock. I mean, I kinda imagine who he could have been crushing on all these years... But I'm not completely sure so I won't say anything, it feels kinda strange... The other one I have absolutely no idea who might be. He's always hanging out with Craig and the others lately, when he's not hanging out with you... Maybe it's one of them?

I didn't want to say this but... I told you Butters was gay...

I hope that he's feeling better though. I know how stressed out he can be sometimes.

I wrote to Stan yesterday but he hasn't replied. This thing about all of us being separated really sucks...

All the worries aside, I'm happy that you got to spend some time having fun with Butters. It makes me feel better to know that you're not so lonely and bored in there. Try to go out more, it will do good to clear your head.

Although I gotta say that I'm kinda jealous again... I hate to be feeling like this. Especially when I want the guy to be our friend. But it's just that I miss you so much and I'm afraid of losing you...

There, I said it... Eric, sometimes I'm really afraid of losing you. I feel so boring and lame next to how awesome and easygoing you are. I'm scared of you getting tired of me...

I know that you told me many times that it won't happen, but I still feel that way sometimes.

I need to hold you too so much sweetheart. I need to feel your arms around me and to press my head against your big and soft belly and kiss you for a long time...

I love you Eric.

Kyle.

July 13

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: A little something...

Hello my little sweet guy! :D

Thank you so much for that picture! It is awesome and dude... You're soooo beautiful... I'm never gonna get tired of telling you that.

It's really cool that you have Ike on your side with this... Although, does he already know that you're dating a guy? Because that's the really heavy thing right now... But I think you're being wise in not telling him everything yet. He is mature and all but he's still little and way too honest to keep something like this from your parents...

Anyways, I'm really happy about you having fun in there. It already shows that you spend quite a lot of time under the sun ;)

I bet that swimming in that ocean must be really great... Have you done some scuba diving or something? I would love to do that.

I haven't got to talk to Kenny yet. I went by his house today but he was too busy and I didn't wanted to bother him. I'll try to call him tomorrow.

By the way, I went on a walk by myself today... I never got the will to do it before but I was feeling really sick of being inside the house and so I took some food with me and went to the train station that Kenny showed us. I actually had a nice time in there, although I kept myself away from that huge ledge at the old office...

About Butters... You spiked my curiosity even more now. Who do you think Butters has a crush on? Tell me... Although, maybe you're right, it's never good to jump to conclusions based on a hunch.

I may try to ask him again about that. I thought of calling him again to do something together, he's been boring his ass at home too...

Speaking of him. Honey, you're not gonna lose me okay? Not to him nor to anyone. I'm yours. I mean that. I don't want you to feel bad about this because I know how much jealousy can hurt and I really want all of us to be friends, so it would be really horrible to put you through something like that.

I don't know why you still think that you're boring. Kyle, don't you know that I adore you? I admire you. I did it even before this whole thing between us started. You are the most funny, smart, interesting, cute, hot, caring and kind guy I've met or will ever meet. I love you Kyle, I really do. I will never get bored or tired of you. Never.

I don't want you to think that I'm hiding things from you sweetheart. I just said that I didn't wanted to tell you those things now because I don't want to make you sad or worried about me now. But I also do that for me. Because being constantly thinking about all that while I'm all alone in here only makes it worse. So don't worry, we'll get to talk about this when you come back, because for the first time I really feel that I can talk about all that happens to me with someone and I'm not gonna ruin this again by hiding within myself anymore.

So you just have to worry about having fun now okay? :)

I love you so much honey...

I send you millions of kisses and hugs :D

Eric.

July 14

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: News from the beach...

Hello my sweet big guy.

How are you doing honey? I hope that you're fine and staying clear from the dark stuff... It's really good to hear that you want to keep your head free from all the sad things for now, at least until we can talk about it in a better way. Don't take me wrong, I'm not saying that you can't deal with this, you are a really strong guy and I believe that if someone can endure all of this is you. But I really think that it would be better to wait until we're together again. I want to be by your side on this and share that burden so you can feel better and so we can find a solution together. I don't want you to deal with this kind of stuff alone anymore.

But all that aside... I met someone. I was drinking a soda at the little snacks bar near the spot on the beach we go to every day when a guy bumped into me from behind and made me spill all the soda over myself. I was so pissed off by that. But he apologized a lot and looked really sorry while he offered to buy me another one. After that we started to talk and we ended up having a real nice conversation.

His name is Thomas, which made me laugh a little because that's kinda an old man's name, although he's only 14... Turns out that we have a lot in common and when my mom called me to dinner, I realized that we had been talking for a couple of hours...

By the way, he's on the same cruise as me! Although I hadn't seen him around before. But that may be because he told me that he always kept to himself, mostly spending the day as far away as possible from the crowds.

Anyways, we agreed to meet up again tomorrow since we both think that it would be way more fun to hang around together on this beautiful place than being alone all the time.

I haven't tried any of the other activities on the beach yet. I just enjoy swimming in the ocean too much, but I will try to do some scuba diving later on, although it kinda scares me a little to be under the water for too long...

Like I said before, I don't want to tell just yet who I think could be the guy that Butter's crushing on. Probably it's just a silly thought anyways.

By the way, did you managed to talk to Kenny? I'm worried about him. He's always cheerful and it seems like nothing could affect him but I know that some things can really get to him, and I think that this one may be one of those.

Stan finally wrote back! He's having a great time in L.A. although they're always doing tons of stuff so he's got very little time to sit and write, that's why he hadn't done it yet. You know? He seems to have become really fond of you. He sounded really worried about how you were doing back in South Park and told me that he's really happy that you changed so much and got closer to us.

I have been thinking about my whole jealousy thing... You're right. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I can feel how much you love me and I trust in you. But maybe I still have those thoughts because you're honestly the best thing that has happened to me and you know how insecure I can be sometimes... I wouldn't want to lose you and I become paranoid... But I will try to erase all that from my head. I really want Butters to be our friend.

I'm so glad that you got to get out of your house and have some fun! That makes me really happy sweetie. Even if that place was kinda creepy at first, I think I would like to go there again with you and just spend some quiet time together enjoying the view... It's really romantic and well, I kinda like those things...

I hope that you can do more stuff like that these days...

I send you millions of hugs and kisses.

I love you.

Kyle.

July 15

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: News from the beach...

Hello my little precious guy! :D

How are you doing?

I gotta tell you, when I started to read that second paragraph on your letter, my heart almost stopped...

I had to get up from the PC and sit on my bed for a while until I felt brave enough to continue reading. Maybe this will sound stupid to you but I thought that I had lost you right then.

Because... It is something stupid to think like that right? I mean, he's just a friend right?...

I'll better talk about something else...

Well, I finally got to talk with Kenny and I told him all about the thing with Butters. He did looked hurt when I told him that Butters had a crush on someone else (I omitted the part of that someone else being actually two someones...) but in the end he said that maybe it was better that way. I don't know why, but he insisted in that he couldn't have been in a relationship with Butters. I didn't wanted to pry more because I could notice that he didn't wanted to talk anymore about that, at least for now.

We agreed to meet as soon as he got a break from work and do some stuff together. I'm really missing just goofing around with him like before...

After leaving Kenny to work again, I went to Butter's house and as we had planned the night before, we went on a walk through the mountains for the day. I really didn't wanted to spend the day at home since my mother came back and I wasn't in the mood to be in there.

So, Butters and I went to the north mountains and into the hiking trail that leads to the gorge near the limits of the town. Our plan was to get to the picnic area before the overlook, but your boyfriend, being a stubborn mule as always, decided not only to take a "shortcut" but also not to take a map with us and we ended up lost in the middle of the forest for at least five hours... :S

Butters was really nervous at first and almost cried when I told him, after going in circles for about three hours, that we were lost. But then, he stood up and said that he wasn't going to lose his temper and that he was going to get us safely back home no matter what.

I was really surprised by how brave he was the rest of the trip and now I have a new found respect for the guy. Although now I feel like shit because we were supposed to be back home before sunset but barely managed to get to Butter's house at 8pm and now, Butters is grounded for a week...

That's all my fault, even when he tried to get us into the right direction, I kept being an asshole and ended up getting ourselves more lost...

I wish I could stop being like that. I thought I had improved, but I'm still an asshole...

Anyways, even with the getting lost thing, we did had a great time and a lot of fun. That guy has a great, although a little weird, sense of humor and we laughed a lot during our walk.

I came back home so tired that I went straight to bed and just woke up a little while ago.

I liked what you said about Stan. I feel that we are indeed getting closer and I'm also very happy to finally be his friend, like really his friend... When the whole thing with Wendy happened I felt really bad for him, so I tried to do my best and I'll never forget how much he helped me when you and I had that... Thing about the hypnosis... Well, he even did so much for me, for us later... Stan is a really great guy and I'm really happy to be his friend.

I don't know why but I'm getting really emotional with these letters... XD It's kinda scary because it's something really new, but at the same time it feels great because when I remember all that has happened this last year, at least the good parts, it gives me a warm and wonderful feeling of finally belonging to something that makes me happy.

All of this is thanks to you Kyle, my sweet little guy...

I love you so much...

I send you trillions of kisses and hugs :)

Eric.

July 16

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Re: Re: News from the beach...

Hello sweetheart.

I'm so sorry about what I said... My god, that was some horrible wording... Honey, Tom is just a friend. Really. I'm really sorry about making you believe otherwise... I hope that it didn't made you worry too much...

Well, speaking of him, we met again like we had arranged. We spent the whole day walking around (he doesn't like the water too much) but I still had so much fun!

I was so immersed into spending the day at the beach that I didn't noticed the so many other things that were available in here. Tom had already come to Nassau last year so he knew his way around the town. A little away from the beach and the usual touristic trails, there was a big and wonderful flea market that had the most amazing and weird things to sale. By the way, I may have bought you something...

After that, we went to a community arts center where there was a really big group of people playing music. I was fascinated by those sounds Eric... That was such a beautiful music. We spent a lot of time in there, looking at the paintings that were hanging on the walls and at night there was going to be a play, but obviously we had to be back on the boat by that hour...

I don't know why but I feel so at ease with Tom. It's like we can talk about anything... Although I haven't told him that I'm with you yet... I don't know, maybe I just don't want to ruin this...

Honey, I know that again I'm maybe talking in a confusing manner but, let me assure you that Tom is only a friend. Yes, I would love for him to be a really good friend; I can see that we could get along more than fine. But I love you, I really do and I only want to be with you...

It makes me really happy to know that you got to spend the day outside and having fun! Maybe it's something stupid to you, but I feel proud of you for taking the lead and not be just a hostage of your loneliness...

I couldn't stop laughing when I read about you two getting lost... Sorry but, it was a funny situation and it made me recall our own "lost in a cave" time... Although at that time I didn't found it funny at all...

I'm a little surprised by Butters reaction too, although maybe we have been underestimating him too much over all of these years. He has been through a lot of things and he never lost his innocence or cheerfulness, which takes a great deal of might.

Honey, you're not an asshole. I mean, you are stubborn that's right, but you weren't doing that on purpose. Maybe you just have to learn to trust in other people's judgment and maybe just follow them instead of always wanting to take the lead. And I know that you're feeling really guilty and sorry for Butters being grounded, but at least you can make things right for him the next time.

I'm really worried about Kenny... It's not like him to surrender so easily when his mind is set on someone. Maybe this thing about Butters affected him more than we thought... Maybe the best thing right now would be for you two doing something to ease his mind on the subject. I know that working all day can be really bad if someone is holding such thoughts inside...

I hope that you get to do something together soon.

By the way, I love that you get to explore that sentimental side of yours... I think that it's really nice to see that you have all that inside you. I mean, you've been so cute and tender when we're together and that really makes me love you even more...

I send you millions of kisses and hugs sweetheart.

I love you

Kyle.

July 17

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Hello sweetie...

How are you doing my little and precious guy?

I must tell you that I felt so relieved when I read that last letter... I was really worried about that honey... I'm sorry, I know that's something stupid for me to think of, but I'm really afraid of losing you and you sounded so happy to have met that guy and it looked like you were having so much fun...

I'm feeling kinda stupid, well, hella stupid actually. I keep telling you that you have nothing to feel worried or jealous about me and the first thing I do when hearing about you meeting someone is to think that I may lose you... It's not that I don't trust you Kyle, but you gotta understand that you're so important to me. You're my happiness, my life... And most of the times I think I'm not enough for you...

Sorry for that. I didn't wanted to be a downer again... It's just that I love you so much...

I'm really happy that you're having fun in there and that you got to know something new and really interesting. I would love to be there with you. I promise that we will go there again someday and I want you to show me all there is to see. :)

I'm not gonna write too much today. I've been feeling really weird since that trip through the forest. I spent almost all of yesterday sleeping and now I'm still feeling my head a little dizzy.

Maybe it was the sun or that I'm just not used to walk that much... I'm gonna go back to bed now, although I would love to cuddle with you in there...

I love you sweetie.

I send you millions of hugs and kisses.

Eric.

July 18

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Re: Hello sweetie...

Hello my big and gorgeous teddy bear... How are you doing?

I hope that you're feeling better already. I must tell you that I'm really worried about that. Is not common to see you feeling like that. I mean, thinking about it, it's not common to see you sick at all...

If you're still feeling like that today you should call a doctor. I know that you hate that, but please, do it...

Well, I'll try to ease your mind (and mine too) a little by telling you about the things that has happened here...

I finally talked to Tom about us... I don't know why but I felt like I could trust in him and didn't want to keep that as a secret any longer. And he was really great about it! More than that... He's gay too... But don't worry honey, Tom is in love with someone already and besides he told me that he likes his guys skinnier... More importantly, I love you and only want to be with you, so there's no danger in this.

Tom asked me a lot of questions about our relationship and always kept telling me that all that was so cute... I felt embarrassed at first but then it was great to finally be able to talk freely about this, because what we have is beautiful and I love to share it with others, although I'm still thinking that it's best to keep it from the people we know...

Anyways, Tom told me that he has never been with anyone yet but he has been having a crush on the guy that lives next door to him and that has been his friend since they were 8. But the guy doesn't seem to be gay and Tom is really afraid of people finding out about him because his parents are really homophobic and stuff... That's so sad but at least he seemed so happy to be able to talk about it with me...

Oh! I'm sure you're gonna love this... We were talking about our hometowns and guess what? When I told him that I lived in South Park, he immediately asked if I had heard of "The Coon"... Yes! He knows you!

I was so shocked about that... Tom told me that he always have loved superheroes and when he heard about a real one living in Colorado, he immediately tried to look as much as he could about him. He's a big fan of you and I was surprised to realize that so many people have heard about you... I mean, I remember us being on T.V. when that thing with Cthulhu happened... By the way, I still think it was a really dick move on your behalf to use him just to get revenge on us...

I didn't tell Tom that you were "The coon" though... It felt like I would be betraying you if I did that. I know that you didn't want your secret identity to be known... Still I would have loved to see his face if he knew that I'm the boyfriend of a superhero...

Aside from all that, I finally got to try the diving stuff... And dragged Tom along with me too... It was so amazing! We got to swim around these huge coral reefs and look at so many beautiful fishes... I was afraid at first, but then I realized that it felt great and got to enjoy it so much. I regret to have done it so late... Today is our last day at the beach. Tomorrow we go back to Miami.

Still, I had so much fun in here and I'm really looking forward to come back with you and to enjoy this beautiful place together.

Honey, I'm still pretty worried about you though... Please, let me know how you're feeling and don't be stubborn about the doctor...

I love you sweetheart.

I send you millions of hugs and kisses.

Kyle.

July 19

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Re: Hello sweetie...

Hello my beautiful little guy.

I'm sorry that you worried so much about me... I'm feeling much better now, although the heat is making everything more difficult for me. But at least I'm not feeling dizzy anymore and the headache disappeared.

I'm not just stubborn about the doctor... I hate that guy always ripping on me for being fat. I mean, he's supposed to help people but he just acts like an asshole. I wish there was another doctor around here...

Anyways. I'm really happy that you got to have fun diving :) Told you that it was going to be great. I would love to do it sometime too.

Don't be sad about leaving the beach honey. You got to have fun in there, made a friend and enjoyed it a lot right? I'm sure that you're gonna have a great time in Miami too.

So the guy appreciates a good hero? I like that ;) I have more respect for him now... XD

I'm glad that you didn't tell him who I was though... I don't want that to be known... I mean, aside from the obvious thing with having to answer for the destruction I caused of course, I don't want people to know that because... Well, I'm not sure why, but I feel that it's better to keep that as a secret. Thank you for respecting that.

I really feel bad about Tom now that you told me about his family. When I was trying to figure out about my own feelings, I talked to a lot of guys over the internet that had it really hard at home and even at that time I could sympathize with them... Maybe it's because I feel I'm part of that for liking guys also, but I really think that people shouldn't suffer for liking someone of their same sex.

I know that we used to say things like "That's so gay" or "You're a faggot" I know that I was the worst when it came to insulting people with that kind of stuff, but even then, I used the words themselves as an insult and not because of what they meant...

Sorry for my ramblings...

I got to hang out with Kenny today :D We went to the arcades and spent the day just roaming around downtown, talking a lot and we even got to eat at Taco Bell. We even bumped into Clyde in there, who then joined us because he had been stood up by someone, although he didn't wanted to say who...

Anyways, we had a great time and I'm glad to tell you that Kenny's back to his usual mood. Of course I avoided the Butters issue and he never brought it up either...

Still, I think it would be better to keep an eye on him, I'm with you in that he has never surrendered so easily so there's gotta be something else to this.

I'm pretty excited about tomorrow because the pool is opening again, so I hope to spend some time in there the next week. Although I gotta buy a new short because my old one doesn't fit me anymore...

Stan is coming next Friday and I'm gonna see if I can get him and Kenny to come here on Saturday so we all can do something. I was thinking on inviting Butters too but maybe it would be best to wait a little more... I'll call him to see how's he doing though, I'm a little worried for him because I know his parents are really hard on him and every time he was grounded for something big like this he would be really quiet and a little zoned out for a couple of days after... Sometimes I think his parents are more than just strict... I may have a talk with him about that when we get together again.

I hope that you get to do a lot of things in Miami and be sure to go on every ride you encounter there :)

I send you millions of hugs and kisses.

I love you.

Eric.

July 21

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Arrived to Miami

Hello my sweet and beautiful teddy bear. How are you doing?

I'm happy that you're feeling better now. Maybe you were right and that was just because of the heat and the long walk? Still, if you ever feel like that again please go see the doctor right away.

I know that the guy is an asshole about that issue... He was the first one to tell me that I should lose weight when I started to gain and even got my mom worried about that. It took me a whole month to convince her that I was feeling well and that I didn't wanted to do any kind of diet or something. Still, he's the only pediatrician in the clinic and we have to endure that until we're old enough to see another doctor.

Well, I'm finally in Miami... I didn't thought that the trip back would be so short, after spending more than a week at the sea on the way to the Bahamas... But I guess that was part of the package of the trip.

Anyways, we arrived at night so we'll have to wait until tomorrow to step on land again, but I don't mind that, I'm so tired actually that I'm only still awake because I didn't wanted to spend another day without writing to you...

Today I spent the day with Tom going around the boat and exploring it a bit since it is our last day in here. We walked a lot and got to play at the arcade room for a while. Later we went to the sports area and played a little one on one, which I won by the way... I'm glad to see that I still got a touch for basketball... Then we went to the front deck and watched the sunset just talking. I was worried about boring him because I couldn't stop talking about you and how much I love you... Not because you're a boring subject of conversation of course, but because I realized that I sounded so immersed into you... But he just told me that it was cute how well our relationship was going, even after the little fall outs we had...

Don't worry, I didn't tell him about that day before my birthday... I mean, I told him that we fought and that it devastated us... But I think that what happened is something really personal and I wouldn't tell anyone that kind of stuff without asking you first...

Still, Tom told me that it was great that we got to reach an understanding and went back to be together again, fighting against what had done us wrong...

In the end we talked a lot about him and about the guy he's got a crush on. Maybe Tom and I get along so well together because we're pretty similar... We even like similar guys. I mean, his crush is so like you in many ways...

Although you're so unique and I don't think I'll ever find someone like you...

I'm so happy that you got to hang out with Kenny again. And I'm glad that he's being his usual self. Although I would like to have a talk with him about what happened. Not mourning forever about that kind of things is good, but denying them and not talking about them is not so good...

Well sweetheart, I'll be going to sleep now because it's pretty late and they're closing in here for the night. I hope that you get to go to the pool this week by the way and I too want to see you in those new shorts when I come back... Or maybe in the old ones? (I'm blushing so hard right now by the way...)

I send you millions of hugs and kisses honey.

I love you.

Kyle.

July 22

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Arrived to Miami

Hello my gorgeous little guy :)

I'm sure that you're already enjoying Miami right now. I'm happy that you got there safe and sound and I hope that you have a great time in there.

That thing about watching the sunset at the deck of the boat made me feel a little envious of Tom... I mean, I never thought of myself as a romantic guy, but I would have loved to be there holding you and whispering how much I love you to your ear as we watch the sun going down... :$

You know, I've realized that what happened to you with Tom yesterday is happening to me too. I mean, at least with the people I can talk about this stuff freely. The other day when Kenny and I went out, I couldn't stop talking about how much I love and miss you... I know I did it before, like Kenny let me know many times... XD But now it's like I need to do it not only because you're always on my mind... But also because it makes me feel a little closer to you now that you're so far away...

I've been watching the Moon every night you know? Maybe you already forgot about that and I must admit I'm feeling a little stupid about telling you this... The thing is that I miss you so much that I hang onto anything that can ease this emptiness a little...

I don't want you to worry. I'm not feeling depressed like in the first days, but still I miss you greatly...

Anyways... It made me laugh what you said about my shorts... XD I don't think that you want to see me in those old shorts... It's not that they're tight because I gained weight, I just outgrew them. I can't even pull them all the way up and it's not a sexy view at all... u_u

Today I got a headache again but I think it's because I spent too much time playing video games... I haven't left the house since I hanged out with Kenny, but don't worry, I'm just not feeling like going out. I'm kinda comfortable here for the first time in quite a while.

I've been feeling like cooking again and I've tried a couple of delicious recipes I got from the internet that I hope to make for you someday...

In fact, I've been feeling better these last days. Maybe it's because the initial shock of seeing you going away has finally passed and now, even if I'm still missing you like crazy, I'm finally able to think straight and positively. Or maybe it's because there's just two more weeks until you come back... :)

I don't want to sound too clingy or dependent of you. But the truth is that I do need you so much... It's not an obsessive thing, like before. It's more like, when I'm with you, I feel like I'm a different person, a better person and like I said to you before, you always manage to soothe me and make me think nice things...

Well... I hope that you get to have loads of fun in there and if you go to Disneyland, try to pay a visit to the Jolly Holiday Bakery. I loved that place so much when I went there, they make delicious cakes and pies... :D And don't worry, they have a sugar free menu too ;)

I send you millions of hugs and kisses sweetie.

I love you.

Eric.

July 24

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: At land again.

Hello my sweet and wonderful big guy. How are you doing?

After a day and half of going around Miami I finally got some time to write to you again. And what day and a half has been... After leaving the boat we headed directly to the hotel where we're gonna stay for the rest of our trip. Even if the place is huge, it kinda has this cozy look and feel that I loved instantly. The rooms are really spacious and the beds are incredibly comfortable. The only thing that could make my nights better in here would be having you in bed with me...

On the first day we unpacked everything really quickly because my parents wanted to start exploring the place right away. We took a cab to the center of the city and walked around quite a lot.

This city is amazing Eric! It's so big and colorful and even if sometimes can be a little noisy, that doesn't diminishes the wonderful things that are to be seen in here.

I was a little surprised to find a little truck that was selling Kosher food and we got our lunch there. After that, mom wanted to do a little "shopping reconnaissance" as she called it, which only meant that she wanted to have a look at the incredibly wide assortment of shops that sit on the main street of downtown, always saying that she planned to go back again with more time later on the week.

After that we took a cab to the David T. Kennedy Park, which is a really beautiful place with an amazing view directly on the coast. I would like to come back there with you someday...

At night, we had dinner at a nice Italian restaurant that thankfully didn't looked fake like most of the others we're used to. Both the food and the general mood of the place were great.

We finally went back to the hotel pretty late and I immediately crashed into bed and fell asleep.

Today we got up pretty early and went again to the coast. This time, while mom and dad were going around the shops, Ike and I walked around the coast and found a nice place that overlooked the Dinner Key. We spent a while just looking at the docked boats and talking. I can see that Ike doesn't like the crowds so much and to tell the truth, I wanted to just relax for a while too.

For lunch we went to nice restaurant with a nice view of the coast and later we visited the Kampong botanical garden. I must say that it was very damp and the heat didn't helped much to our after lunch sleepiness... But still, the place is really beautiful and I loved it.

Now we're back at the hotel, resting for a bit before going out to dinner. This time we'll come back earlier since tomorrow we'll go to Disneyland... I never thought I would be this excited to go there, but I am!

I'll look out that place you told me about and make sure to try some of the things in there, I mean, if you say they're good then they must be amazing...

But enough of my ramblings... I'm so happy that you're in a good mood again! I'm really glad that you're feeling fine and that you've regained your will to cook, since I know that you like that a lot and because it shows that you're not feeling sad anymore... At least not so much...

I'm already excited about trying those new recipes you talked about...

Even if you don't feel like it, you are quite a romantic guy Eric. I mean, you've done such beautiful and sweet things for me... That night at Stark's Pond, even if we weren't together yet, felt amazing and made me want for more, I'm still wanting to do those kind of things... All the dinners you made for me, cuddling at your sofa while watching movies or playing, all those sweet and soft words you have said to me... Your birthday gift and all you went through to give it to me... Honey, you are the sweetest and most romantic boy I have known, and probably will ever know...

When I think about all that, sometimes I feel so bad for not doing the same... I mean, I know this is not a competition, that I don't have to do something just because you do to get even or something... But still, you give so much of you into this relationship, into me and I feel like I've only caused you trouble or sadness...

I know that you will say that I'm wrong by telling you all this, that I make you happy and believe me, I can see that you're happy when we're together. But still, I feel like I'm not being so thoughtful and considerate with you as you are with me.

I want to change that and I'll do my best to do it.

I haven't forgot our little moon thing... In fact, it warms my heart that you kept doing that, because I've been doing the same, even if we didn't talked about that anymore. Every night I try to look at the moon and I tell her that I love you with all my heart and soul and I ask her to send you my love...

I need you a lot too sweetheart. Every day that passes by I feel like a void when I wake up and can't feel your arms around me... I don't think you are being clingy Eric. We love each other right? I mean, we're supposed to feel like that. I'm glad actually that we're feeling this way, because it means that our love is real and that, even if we can be without each other and still be fine, we're only complete when we're together and that thought is so beautiful...

All that aside... Eric, those headaches are starting to worry me... If you feel like that again go to the doctor, please... I don't want to be annoying with that but I don't want anything bad happening to you...

I have to be going now because I still gotta shower and get ready for tonight.

I send you millions of kisses and hugs.

I love you.

Kyle.

July 25

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: At land again.

Hello little cute guy...

I'm so glad that you're having a great time in Miami :) All those things sound wonderful and I'm sure that you still have lots of fun things to do in there.

That park with the coast view seems like a nice place. I would love to go there and just sit in front of the water, holding you and watching at the stars...

You know, that night at Stark's Pond, I had imagined all that so many times before we got to do it. Since I started to like you, I always dreamed of taking you there and just have a quiet moment together...

Kyle, even if I do nice things for you, even if you think they're great, I only do them because I want to show you how much I love you. I want you to understand that you don't need to do such things; you're already giving me the most precious thing anyone gave to me in my whole life... Your love...

I don't care if you don't tell me that you love me as many times as I do, or if you don't prepare dinners for me or if you don't give me nice gifts (By the way, the gift you gave me for my birthday was the best I ever got in my life and you know it), I only need one look from you, one kiss, one hug to know that you love me. Because maybe you don't realize about that, but every time we're together, when you do those seemingly little things I can feel your love for me and I know it's real.

So I don't want you to think like that anymore okay? Promise me that you won't think like that anymore.

If you want to do things for me, do them because you really feel like it and not because you think that you're not giving anything to the couple. Because you are giving us the stability and safety that we both need and that is more meaningful than any gift or romantic scene...

Well... I feel it's time to change the subject now because I don't want to become a bundle of tears again while I write to you...

Yesterday I went to wait for Stan at his house. Thankfully I managed to drag Kenny along for a while but we couldn't stay for long because they were all pretty tired and wanted to rest. Still we arranged to meet today so I'm waiting for Stan and Kenny to come here in a couple of hours.

After getting back from Stan's house, I walked Kenny to his home and then went to the pool and spent the afternoon in there. It felt great to swim again and luckily for me, it wasn't as crowded as always, so I got to relax a little.

I tried to call Butters but we were able to talk just for a couple of minutes. He's still grounded and that means that he can't talk to his friends on the phone... He assured me that he's okay, but I tell you, something is not quite right in that house... I got this feeling that there's something really wrong happening in there and that Butters is a victim of all that and with everything that happened to me well... I couldn't stand to see that he's going through something like that...

Tomorrow I'll go by Butter's house and see if he needs something. At least I want him to feel that he's not alone if something bad is happening to him.

I'm happy to tell you that I haven't got any more headaches so you can relax about that already. But if I get more I'll go to the doctor... I don't like that but I don't like to get you worried either...

Well, I better go start preparing everything for this evening, I still have so much to do...

I send you millions of hugs and kisses.

I love you my little piece of sunshine... :$

Eric.

July 28

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Sorry for taking so long...

Hello sweetheart. I'm really, deeply sorry for not having written to you in so long. I've been out of the hotel almost all the time and couldn't find a quiet time to sit and write to you.

That sounds like a lame excuse and sure feels like it. I'm really sorry Eric...

Well, aside from all that, I've spent the last two days in Disneyland, trying to get into as many places as I could. You were right, I do love the place! I thought it would be overly corny and stuff, but there's so many cool things to do. The only downside to it are the really long lines that you have to do at every ride... Still, it's worth the wait.

I found the bakery you told me about and after a long work of convincing, I got everyone to go there and have breakfast at it. Again, you were so right... The cakes are so delicious, although I only tried the sugar free ones, didn't wanted to risk having an attack and ruining everyone's vacation...

I ran into Tom at the gates yesterday! I knew he was going to come too but didn't imagined that we were going to bump into each other inside such a huge crowd. We spent the whole day together and had a lot of fun.

I hope that your Saturday evening with the guys went well. It was time that you had some company in there, although I must say that for what you tell me, you handled pretty well the whole thing... That makes me really happy and proud of you Eric.

Maybe I never told you this, but I've always admired your ability to make an overwhelming situation into something you can manage... I don't know if I could have been able to do the same in your situation.

How are Stan and Kenny doing? I know that there's just less than a week until I get to see you all again, but still I want to know...

Honey, that thing you told me about Butters is really worrying me... Do you think that he could be going through something similar to what you experienced?

To tell you the truth, I always thought that Butter's family was kinda messed up. All those times he got grounded for really small things, all the times that he seemed so nervous, even to the point of almost having a breakdown, about what his parents might think about anything he did... Specially that thing about the Bi-Curious camp...

I hope that you got to talk to him about this and I will do the same when I get back. I couldn't stand to see that such a nice guy is having such a hard time at home.

I'm really glad that you got to go to the pool again. I can see you love that and I would love to swim with you someday too. You know, to be a guy that always appeared so lazy you sure love to do a lot of things...

Sorry to have been such a downer about the whole affection displays thing... You're right about this not being a competition or something. I know that people show their affection in different ways. Still, I would like to do more romantic things. Maybe it's just because I'm still getting used to having a boyfriend.

I really love you Eric...

That little thing you wrote at the end of your last letter... Sweetheart, I can't even begin to describe how I felt when I read that... I never imagined that someone could make me feel such a huge tenderness overload with just a few words. But if I'm a little piece of sunshine to you, Eric, you are a whole constellation to me. Lighting up my life with each of the wonderful things you have to give to the world; that you chose to give to me.

I'm probably looking really stupid now, with my eyes full of tears and a huge and dorky smile on my face... But I don't care, because I'm like this from all the happiness I'm feeling for being your boyfriend...

I love you Eric.

I send to you millions of kisses and hugs.

Kyle.

July 29

From: awesome_me_4ever

To: red_snappingturtle

Subject: Re: Sorry for taking so long...

Hello my little sweet guy :)

First of all, I hate having to repeat myself so get this into your thick skull: You don't need to apologize about not writing every day.

I know that you're busy doing tons of stuff and having fun with so little time to actually rest, and those moments should be spent doing exactly that, so you can continue enjoying your vacations.

I'm so happy that you liked Disneyland. I mean, aside from the last time I went there, which turned out to be fun in the end, the other times I had so much fun. I told you that the bakery was great :) I'm glad that you liked it too.

So you met your friend again? That really is a big coincidence, but still I'm glad that you had him to make you company. When I went there I was alone and even if I did have fun, it would have been better to have gone with some friends...

Last Saturday evening was a blast! :D Kenny and Stan came over and we played a lot of video

games at first. That bastard Kenny is still pretty good at games, even if he didn't practiced a lot during these days, but I managed to finally win some of the matches I played against him. Aside from that, he seems to be doing really well and I can say that he's not faking his good mood.

Later on, after spending a lot of time playing and just as the sun was setting, we decided to take a walk since the air was so hot inside the house because the dammed AC wasn't working well... So we all went to Stark's Pond because we figured it would be nicer in there and luckily it was.

We started to talk about a lot of things and I finally thought it was a good moment to ask Kenny about the thing with Butters. He hesitated a little but in the end, Kenny told us that all that thing had hit him really hard, much more than he had expected. Kenny says that he doesn't know if he has an actual crush on Butters or is it just the fact that the guy said no what's making him so attractive.

The good thing is that Kenny is trying to get over this and he understands that Butters likes someone else and wishes the best for him. Still, Kenny asked us to help him a little to avoid running into Butters for a while.

In between all that, Stan told us a lot about his time in LA, in fact, he kinda wouldn't shut up with that XD But it didn't bothered us because he had some pretty interesting stories to tell.

I'm sure you'll want to hear them in person but I can tell you that he really had a great time in there, even if he missed Wendy a lot... You know, Stan was great about the matter of us being apart for this whole summer... He kept asking me if I was doing okay and telling me nice things to cheer me up, even if I told him a lot of times that I was feeling fine. I guess he understands how much missing someone can hurt and it moved me a lot to see that he was so worried about me.

After spending some time at the lake, we went back home and had dinner, which I had cooked of course... Later on we watched a horror movie and for once I was glad that you weren't here with us... That shit was disturbing... Even for me...

On Sunday I went by Butter's home and talked to him for a little while. It seems that he's not grounded anymore but he still doesn't want to leave his house... Kyle, I'm really starting to worry here. We were talking and he offered me a drink, so we went to the kitchen and when he tried to reach for a glass, he almost yelled and grabbed his ribs as if he were in pain. I immediately tried to help him but he jumped back and didn't let me touch him. I was so worried that I grabbed my phone to call a doctor but he asked me, almost pleaded me, not to do that. Then, he just smiled and said he was fine, that he had got bruised on his side while helping his father move some stuff from the basement... I know that he was lying, but he seemed so terrified that I was afraid to make things even worse. After that, he told me that he had many things to do and asked me to leave.

Kyle, I'm beginning to think that someone is beating him... I don't know if it's his parents or someone else, but I'm betting on the former from how worried he always seems to be about not pissing them off. I know that they used to slap him and yell at him a lot before, but this is different, if they wrecked him so bad now I think this goes well beyond the crap they used to do.

God, I'm so furious! But I don't want to do anything rushed; I know that these kind of things have to be handled really carefully and with a cool head.

In the meantime, I'll try to talk to Butters again, somewhere quiet and far from his home, to see if I can get to the truth or at least to let him know that he can count on me, on us hopefully, to help him...

Well, I'm gonna change the subject now... I've been going to the pool every day and I'm getting pretty good at swimming. I mean, I already knew how to do it, but now I'm becoming faster and less sloppy. I'm starting to consider taking actual classes to better myself at this...

Honey... I don't know why you even worry about not being romantic with me after all that you wrote... When I read what you said on that last letter I... Well, I cried... A lot. I don't know how you do it but you have managed to make me spill more tears in six months than I spilled in years... And the best part is that most of the times, those tears were of joy... I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for being your boyfriend and how much you mean to me...

I know that these are just simple words that are often misused but; I love you.

I hope that you get to have lots of fun on these last days of vacations you still have. And I'm sorry, but I also hope that they go by really fast because I'm needing to see you again so badly... :$

I send you millions of kisses and hugs.

I love you.

Eric.

July 31

From: red_snappingturtle

To: awesome_me_4ever

Subject: Re: Re: Sorry for taking so long...

Hello my big and beautiful teddy bear...

Well, I just wanted to write to you before we start making our bags again. We still have this whole day but mom insisted in having everything ready for tomorrow because we leave pretty early.

Still, we're going out for dinner tonight to say goodbye to the city.

I'm really happy about your day with Stan and Kenny and I hope that we get to do the same once I'm back in there. We still have a couple of weeks before school starts again...

Honey, I'm really worried too about the thing with Butters. Maybe we should all go to talk to him, although he might feel overwhelmed by that and perhaps it's better for you to make the first approach, since he seems to trust you more...

I can't write a lot now but we will have lots of time to talk about all this and more when I get back.

We'll be arriving at Denver airport around 8pm tomorrow, so I guess that we'll be at home by 9pm or so...

Well, I know we'll see each other in a short time but still, I send to you millions of kisses and hugs sweetheart.

I love you.

Kyle.

***Disclaimer: I don't own the South Park characters or any of the brand names mentioned in this story. I don't own any of the songs mentioned on the story or used as chapter titles.

***Chapter title's song is Sealed with a kiss by Brian Hyland