Hey guys. This one is Shorter than Favorite Color. If you haven't read it, Check it out. It's a Malec Fic. :) This one is focused on the relationship of Clary and Jace. AKA CLACE! THis is just a one shot. I won't be continuing it. Sorry guys. Anyways. Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Instruments or One Less Reason. Jace's Song is All that's best in you by One Less Reason. Beautiful song. Check it out.
Anyways. Enjoy. :)
I watched as Jace climbed onstage. We were supposed to come to his performance together, but I can't face him. Not yet. He hurt in ways he promised he never would. They told me he'd go back to his old ways; I just didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it because I wanted us to work so badly.
I never thought I'd see the things I saw that day. It was supposed to be just another day, but it turned out to be the day that changed me. He didn't just kiss another girl, he kissed Aline. When Jace had asked me out so long ago, I was happy because he was something Aline couldn't have. But Aline always gets her way.
Was I just another game to him? I was just like all those other girls who thought they were different. But I wasn't different. I was stupid like every other girl who's been around. I should've said no. I should never have opened myself up to be hurt. I promised I would never be one of those girls.
He took a breath. "Okay. This is "All That's Best": A Song for Clary." Clary couldn't believe it. He was dedicating his song to her. He knew how much she liked One Less Reason. She knew what he was doing before he even began. He was going to woo her over by serenading her. She didn't want that so she turned to leave. She knew coming here would be a bad idea.
He started to sing as Clary walked away. "You've grown so much. You've come so far. I never thought we'd end up here." Clary was to the bar. She stopped to order a drink before she left. "I wanted to tell you goodbye. I know that you're safe. Now that the pain is gone, all of the love remains. Though all my faults turned out to be some truth, I couldn't see all that was best in you."
With every word Clary's heart broke even more. She had to get out of there. "Wanted to tell you I lie. I make mistakes. And when I failed in life, it was you I blamed. Through all my faces you could see right through. I couldn't see all that was best in you." Clary had made it to the door when someone grabbed her wrist. She turned around and saw Simon. He looked sympathetic. Clary didn't need sympathy. "Clary," he said. "You need to hear this. Stay, please. You haven't been the same since. You need to know."
Jace continued his song. "Wanted to tell you I tried to make it okay. With just one letter gone I lost the name of that little boy smiling back at you. He could see all that was best in you." He took a breath. "That's it."
The audience applauded. But all Clary did was watch his pained expression as he walked down the stairs. He made eye contact with Clary and walked toward her. He didn't care who was in his way. He walked around them. They congratulated him and told him good job, but he ignored them. He never broke eye contact with Clary. Clary found that she couldn't move. His eyes were piercing into hers keeping her in place. She thought if Jace would only look away the spell would be broken and she could move along. But he didn't break the connection they both felt and she didn't walk away.
When Jace was close enough that Clary could smell him, he finally stopped. He stood still looking into her faded green eyes. He had taken their shine away. It was his fault and he knew it. But he couldn't find the right words to use to tell her that he was sorry.
Sometimes Clary was all he saw when he closed his eyes. He saw all the pain in her eyes when Aline kissed him. She was all he felt when Aline was touching him. He had screwed up. He didn't tell Aline no, when his body screamed that she didn't feel right. She was different. She was not Clary and he had screwed up. He took her smile away: the smile that always broke through the gray clouds when he brought storms.
She was the ink that made him the picture that he was. With her, the masterpiece was complete. But now the paint had faded and the ink had smudged. The lines were smeared and he couldn't see which way was up. He saw, only too late, how much good Clary would do for him. He was blind. He couldn't see how alive he was when Clary was with him. He had to have it all just so that he could lose what was most important to him.
Clary was the first person to ever see right through Jace's façade. She had developed a bull-shit detector. She could see right through the crap he was spitting when they first met. She knew she would get down to whatever it was that Jace was hiding. When Jace had finally told her about his abusive father, she almost flew off the grid. She would never have thought he'd been abused. He hid it so well. But, then again, she hid her past so well. The truth is Clary had no idea where her mother was at times. She was elusive. Ever since she woke up from her coma, she'd changed. She went out late at night and sometimes she didn't come home. Clary pretended this was normal. It was fine for her because, while her mother was asleep, she learned to fend for herself.
She had promised herself that she would never open up unless she was sure of herself. And she thought she was. She was. But even she couldn't see pass this. She had to call it quits. She couldn't be hurt again, so she had to retreat into her own head. She hadn't realized she had visibly changed. She didn't mean to hurt anyone, not even Jace. No matter how much she thought he deserved it, she didn't want him to be hurt any more than he had already been. He had been through the mill just like everybody else. No one deserved a second round.
Clary looked into Jace's golden eyes. He had had his share of mishaps and pain and it almost made her sympathize with him. Then she remembered what an Ass he was to her, and she realized she couldn't take it. All that was left in her was enough strength to be on her way home. She would not cry in front of Jace. She would not show him or anyone how badly she'd been broken. She turned and walked away.
Jace watched her as she left. He couldn't fathom why she didn't understand. He was sorry. He never had to tell a girl more than once that he was sorry. Clary wasn't as easy. He should've known it would take a lot for her to believe him. She was not one to lay herself across the line. She was careful. She was so careful that Jace realized he didn't even know her story, but she knew his. He was determined to find out. And so he followed her.
Away. That's where she was going. Away. She knew her mom wouldn't be home. She never was. She would be long gone before her mother even noticed she was missing. She could make it on her own. She had no choice. She needed a new town to leave this all behind. Simon would understand; he always did. Jace would be okay. Izzy would miss her but she'd get over it. The only person who could possibly hurt with her decision was herself. And she knew she would be just fine.
She already had her bag packed. Running away was not a new idea that had just popped into her head. She had thought about it, planned it out. She had money saved up. She had enough for a year, maybe. She didn't know where she would go from there. But she had to get out of this town. Maybe she'd go out of the country. It was so unrealistic, it might've worked.
She turned out all the lights, grabbed her bag, some water and canned food. She was out of there. She turned and looked at the house she'd grown up in. She would not be coming back. She walked away from it all. She didn't want to think because she knew it would make her second guess herself. It was sad that moving on with the rest of her life began with goodbye. These things passed.
She thought about why she was walking away. This was all she had ever known. One bad year, and she was torn. First her brother died in the war overseas. Then, her mother got sick and went into a coma. For five months, Clary was alone. In those five months, Jace was able to penetrate her thickest walls and make her think it was going to be okay. It wasn't. Things never went back to okay after they went wrong. She should have known. She should have seen it coming: the Heartbreak. Isabelle tried to tell her. She tried to warn her, but Clary wouldn't listen. She needed Jace to need her. She needed him more than she thought she should have and she paid for it.
She was walking away because this wasn't her town anymore. She didn't belong here. She should have stuck to her plan. She should've stayed in her own mind. It would've made living here until college at least bearable. But she'd gone and interacted with people who would be ruthless. She had to see if the world was as bad as she thought. They were right. Curiosity did kill the cat.
To make it worse, it began to rain: Just another thing to get in her way. This was the Angel's way of laughing at her. She was on her way to the train station. She needed to be anywhere but here. She closed her eyes and felt the rain fall on her head. She opened them and looked up at the stars. How did she get here? She used to know herself so well. She used to know her life, her town, herself. How did she get here?
She could see the Train station in the distance. It was the only other light in her view other than the moon. The stars shone darkly. They had abandoned her just like everything else. And now she was abandoning everything she'd ever known. There was no more good left in her.
She walked to train station and bought a ticket. Her next stop was D.C. She sat down in a chair. Her train didn't depart for another hour, and she hadn't realized how tired she was. It wasn't even ten-thirty yet. She closed her eyes and leaned back. She had to let her situation into her mind. She breathed it in. She wondered what Jonathon would have done in this situation. If she were Jonathon, she never would have been in this situation. He was smarter than this. And he would never run away from his problems.
She was weak and that would always stay the same. She would be lucky to make it to her next destination without being hurt. She thought she would be able to handle it. But the truth of the matter was that her life was spiraling out of control. She was on the brink of something. She was bound to fall.
"Clary, wake up." Clary hadn't tried to fall asleep. But she did. She was awoken by Jace. How had he found her? She didn't want to be found. She would have loved to live the rest of her life being lost. She looked at her watch. 12:52 am. She'd missed her train: just another set-back. She got up and tried to see when the next train came. She would skip town. She was going.
"Clary let me come with you."
"No."
"Please don't do this. Please don't leave because of me. Things won't be the same without you."
"Oh, so you want me to come back so people don't tear you to pieces?" She was disgusted with him. Of course he had to keep up his image. People wouldn't look at him the same way if they knew Clary left because of him. His true self would be revealed and he couldn't have that.
"No, Clary, that's not what I meant. Can't you see? You've become part of us. Isabelle's freaking out. She's called the entire school. Everyone's looking for you. Simon threatened to kick my ass. He's so pissed at me he probably could. No questions asked. Even Alec and Magnus said they would hurt me if I didn't find you. That's not why I'm looking for you though. I'm looking for you because I screwed up. I broke your heart and I intend on fixing it. I'm giving back all that's best in you. So if you leave, I leave. I won't let go."
"Why would anyone care about me? Five months ago, no one even knew my name. I know Simon'll be angry. He'll get over it. He'll understand. So go home Jace. I draw the line here."
"Clary, you can leave, but I'll just follow you and talk to you and make you come back home."
"What makes you think you can make me do anything? Who do you think you are? You can't come into my life screw with me and then expect me to be okay. Jace just walk away."
"Clary I messed up, I know. But I will make it up to you. You don't even have to forgive me. Just come home. If you leave, you take the heart of everyone that loves you with them. You can't be that selfish, Clary. I know you. You wouldn't dare hurt anyone."
"Making me feel bad is not going to work. My mind is set. I'm leaving. I don't care if you follow me, but I'm not coming back. Ever. So don't try and make me…"
"Clarissa! Clary where are you going? You can't leave!" Jace and Clary looked away from each other and towards the new, unexpected voice. Jace would have sworn it was Clary had she not been standing in front of him. This newcomer had hair a shade darker than Clary's. She looked emaciated like she was sick. Her cheeks looked hollow and her green eyes were wide. "Clary, you can't leave me. You're all I have."
Clary snorted. It surprised her as much as it surprised Jace. "Oh really, Ma?" She snarled. " That's good and well for you, but what about me. I don't have anybody." She made to turn away.
"Clary that's not true. You have me."
"No Mom, I don't. You haven't been the same since you woke up. This is the longest conversation you've had with me since before Jonathon. I had to mourn his death alone because you decided you didn't want to play mom anymore."
"Clary, you don't understand…"
"I don't understand." She interrupted. "Tell me how I don't understand mom. You know I asked the doctors what sickness you had. They said a broken heart. I saw the cut marks on your wrist mom. I know you took the sleeping pills with the last sip of Vodka we had. I know, mom. I Know."
Jace drew in his breath loudly. He hadn't known. He didn't know. Here he was, thinking he had the worse life and Clary had no life. At least he had the Lightwoods. One by one, everybody in Clary's life left. He had hurt her more than he had thought; all because of one kiss; one kiss that meant nothing to him.
"Clary, I was depressed. But I'm fine now. I'm here now."
"Well I don't need you now. When I needed you, you played the victim. "
"Clary that doesn't give you a right to hate her," When Jace spoke, both Clary and Jocelyn jumped. "She messed up. She's sorry. You have to forgive her. You have to. You can't go on living life thinking everyone's gonna let you down. Not everyone's gonna leave. Let us love you. Let us want you. Let us hold you. Damn it all Clary. You're all that's best in us."
Clary shook her head. She didn't want to believe it. She wanted to forget it. She wanted running away to be easy: no strings attached. "Don't come at me with some sap story like that. I don't wanna care. I don't wanna know. If you cared about me, Jace, you wouldn't have kissed her. If you wanted to love me, mom, you would have. But you let me go. You forgot. And that was all I needed to walk away." She shook her head again as if she was trying to clear it. She went and sat down where she was at first. She put her face in her hands. She didn't want them to see her cry.
Clary could already feel her resolve breaking. She knew she wasn't going anywhere and it made her even angrier. It wasn't fair that she'd stay when people needed her but no one stayed when she needed them. She didn't notice Jace making a phone call. She didn't notice her mother trying to make her feel better. She didn't notice the hours pass until Simon came. She was done crying by then. Simon walked in and sat beside her. Her mother had given up trying to make her feel better. She stood up and went to the bathrooms.
Clary leaned her head on Simon and he wrapped his arms around her. "Simon, why isn't life easy?"
Simon didn't answer immediately. Clary knew whatever Simon said would be enough to talk her down. "Clary, it's been seventeen years. You need to get over it. Life can never and will never be easy. End of story." Clary laughed. Leave it to Simon to see through all the crap that was her life.
"Take me home, Simon. I want to go home."
"Wow, that wasn't long at all. I knew you'd be ready to go home. Just not that ready." He smiled. "Let's go home Clary." Together they stood. She put her backpack on her back and walked beside Simon. Her mother had come back. She stood and pointedly walked next to Simon. The three linked arms. This left Jace and Clary to walk beside each other. For a quarter of a second, Jace had an awkward moment. Then Clary lifted her arm and Jace linked his with hers. They'd leave out all the rest. They would discuss things when they became an Issue. Right now Clary needed to sleep. So she went home.
That's it. What did you think. Leave me some love, or Flames. TO each their own. right?
Sincerely, Cadence.
PS: If I made any grammatical errors, feel free to commit about them or Pm me. I don't have a Beta Reader, so I do with what I got.
Chau.