The farewell

"James! What the hell are you doing here? In my bed!"

He gets up and says

" I'm sorry! I just... Millie and I had a fight! I came out and went walking around and I found myself here."

I sit on the bed next to him and say

" You had a fight? Why? What did you do? You didn't hit her or anything?"

" No... I never hit anyone!... I called her Amelia! I never call her that! Since the first day we met I always called her Millie... and... I was thinking... I couldn't talk to you for several days since I left Arizona and I was preoccupied... then I called her Amelia cuz that's what you call her... and then she flipped out... I've never seen her like that before!... she started screaming and shouting and saying things but I couldn't understand what she was saying... she started throwing fists at me... I was worried she hurt herself so I just came out of the house!"

He puts his head in his hands. Oh my God! This is worse than I thought.

" Please tell me that your kids weren't home."

" No, they're at Millie's mother's."

" Oh thank God."

" So you're back now?"

He looks at me with longing in his eyes.

" No, I just came back to put an end to all of these things. I will put this house in the market and give up my practice here. I will go back to Arizona to my father."

He takes my hand and says

" No, Anna you don't have to!"

I look at him through my tears and say

" No James! I do have to! I'm not gonna break up a family for my own happiness... I'm not my mother... I lived twenty eight years doing exactly the opposite of what she did. I'm not going to do the worst thing she's done like her."

He looks at me with incredulous eyes but he remains silent.

" Go home! Right now... don't talk about anything... just go home and hug her and kiss her and make love to her... let her know how much you love her... how much you love your family... do what you're good at... make her see that she's the one you will spend all your life with..."

I stroke his hand and say

" I'm nothing James... believe me... I'm just a midlife crisis... at the end of the day it is her you go to... it is your family you want... Go!... Go home and let her know how lucky you are to have her..."

He stands up and wipes my tears with the back of his fingers and says

" Will I see you again? While you're here?"

I do my best but I can't not lean to his touch. I close my eyes and say

" Go James... Go and forget about the time you knew a girl named Annabella! Go home to your loving wife and your beautiful kids..."

Tears are running on his face and we both know that this is it... this is the end... he makes me stand up and hugs me hard... I cry like I never ever did in my life... if I don't make him go he won't go... so I have to be the stronger one... I put my hands on his arms and push him away... he's crying too... those beautiful gray eyes are red and puffy... I kiss his eyes and his forehead... he kisses my tears and says

" I won't forget that I knew a girl named Annabella and she has the biggest heart ever... I won't forget the things she taught me... I won't forget that she saved me... I won't forget that I loved her..."

He kisses on my lips... one swift and sweet kiss... and he goes...

I fall into my bed and start crying out loud like I've never ever did before...