GF Fanatics: the Brothers
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Disclaimer: I don't own MTV, 'kay? Ask Mariye,
maybe she does now^-^. Nor do I own FF8's GFs. Caphishe?
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[Outside a normal-looking house.
Whitewolf is standing by the driveway, a big stupid grin plastered on his
face.]
Whitewolf: Hello, folks! It's now
official! I'm Mariye's replacement for the hosting of Fanatics! Lessee…oh yeah.
Before all things, a few announcements. [holds up a poster] First, we are
looking for these two people. If you see this short guy with spiky hair, please
immediately call Garden. If you see this mean-looking guy with the scar, please
call, fax, e-mail, or whatever Ms. Satsuki Yatouii, Ms. Sariss Almasy, and/or
Ms. Butterfly [rolls up poster]. All are currently holding 2-million gil
rewards. Second, there is a vacancy in the position of co-host. Applicants,
please email me for more details. Okay, we're ready. Our first interviewer is
Ellone Leonhart-Loire, formally known as Sefie Tilmitt. Let's go tell her,
shall we? [enters]
[Inside. Ellone is busy posting
something in the FF.net forums, eyebrows furrowed. Whitewolf takes a chair and
sits beside her.]
Ellone: Whaddya mean Error Processing
Data!? I've been trying to post this for 2 days now! @#$%&!
Whitewolf: …Uh, Ellone…
Ellone: [snaps] Who are you!? Whaddya
want!?
Whitewolf: …I'm Whitewolf. Didn't you
want to interview the Brothers…? They're free right now so I was wondering if
you'd like to, you know, start…
Ellone: What!? Oh, sorry. Sure! Let's
go.
Whitewolf: …Okay.
[Both exit.]
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First Impressions
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Ellone: Wow. I've always wanted to
meet the Brothers. Too bad Tonberry's taken. I wonder how Wolf got them out of
the game?
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Sacred: NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKED US.
Minotaur: yeah. let's go meet her.
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[Ellone's front porch. Sacred and
Minotaur are sitting on the grass. Passer-bys keep staring at the brothers.
Ellone is whistling while arranging a few pieces of paper. Whitewolf pops out.]
Whitewolf: Hey, Ellone. You have your
questions, right?
Ellone: Yup!
Whitewolf: Good. You can start. I'll
leave you guys now. It's almost Buffy the Vampire Slayer! [goes inside] Call me
when you're through! Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…
Ellone: [sweatdrops and turns to the
Brothers] Good afternoon, Mr. Sacred, Mr. Minotaur.
Sacred: YO.
Minotaur: ditto.
Ellone: Shall we begin? First
question. How exactly did you two end up living in the Tomb of the Unknown King
in the first place?
Minotaur: we kinda got lost in our
first visit. I swear ta Hyne, maps those days weren't maps at all. they just
had pictures, no pointers. that tomb was much
bigger before…wonder how it shrunk?
Ellone: Okayyyy…So, what was your
purpose in living in the Tomb of the Unknown King?
Sacred: COULDN'T GET OUT. WHAT ELSE
COULD WE DO? THAT "ETERNALLY SLEEPING" KING SNORES LOUD ENOUGH TO WAKE THE
DEAD. YOU HAVE TO STOMP ON HIS COFFIN A FEW TIMES TO SHUT HIM UP.
Ellone: So that's why Squall and the
others found you guys on top of the King…Like, next question. Which of you guys
is the brains and which one's the brawns?
Minotaur: it's quite obvious, I
believe.
Ellone: Yeah, you're right. Sacred,
how'd you end up bigger and stronger than your brother?
Sacred: MINOTAUR?
Ellone: Yes, Minotaur. You only have
one brother.
Sacred: I DON'T KNOW REALLY. MUST BE
THE HORMONES.
Ellone: Oh. Minotaur, do you get
picked on often since you're awfully puny?
Minotaur: I am not puny! i just didn't
eat my greens! no, I don't get picked on often 'cuz Sacred beats the crap out
of anyone who even says the word 'small' to me.
Ellone: Uh yeah. Anyways, what's the
secret of your brotherly love? How did you come up with such a powerful move?
Minotaur: GFs never give out their
attack's origins. please remember that.
Ellone: Sorry. Didn't know that.
Sacred: IT'S OKAY.
Ellone: [smiles] You two are good
examples of what 'real' siblings should be. Any advice?
Minotaur: be nice to your little
sisters or brothers, especially when they're bigger than you.
Ellone: Cool. May I ask you one last
thing?
Sacred: SURE.
Ellone: Wanna play Rock-Paper-Scissors
with me?
Minotaur: 'Kay. [starts tapping closed
fist on open palm] Rock-paper…
Ellone: [does the same] Rock-paper…
Both: SCISSORS!
[Ellone puts out scissors. Minotaur
puts out paper.]
Ellone: Yes!
Minotaur: Ah shoot. It's okay, though.
Ellone: Thanks for your time, Sacred,
Minotaur. Maybe I'll see you some other time?
Sacred: COOL.
Minotaur: yeah. bye.
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Afterthoughts
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Ellone: GFs are cool! Wish I could
have had Tonberry, though.
==========
Sacred: I LOVE FANS.
Minotaur: ditto!
==========
[The Brothers leave. Ellone enters her
house and sees Whitewolf on the couch, drooling at Buffy.]
Whitewolf: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…
Ellone: Uh, Whitewolf? We're finished.
Whitewolf: [snaps out of his trance]
Yeah? You're through? [turns back to the TV] What!? Buffy's over? Oh…[faces
Ellone again] So, how was it?
Ellone: It was great!
Whitewolf: [looks at his watch] Awww…I
gotta go now, Elle. Bye.
Ellone: Bye!
[Whitewolf exits the house and faces
the cameras.]
Whitewolf: Well…
[Seifer comes running up the
sidewalk.]
Seifer: *huff*
Whitewolf: Yes, Seifer?
Seifer: [grabs Whitewolf's collar]
Where's my gunblade!?
Whitewolf: Don't you remember? I gave
it to Sariss. You'll just have to get it from her yourself. So anyways…
[Footsteps are heard approaching.
Satsuki and Butterfly are trying to outrun each other towards Seifer, their
eyes the shapes of hearts.]
Satsuki: I've looked everywhere for
you, sweetie! Where'd you be…..eek!
[Butterfly trips Satsuki.]
Butterfly: [sticks out her tongue]
Serves you right! He's MINE! He said so himself!
Whitewolf: [whispers to Seifer] You
better run while they're still arguing. Hate you as I do, I do not want to see
you naked. In my show even.
Seifer: [gulps and starts running]
[Butterfly and Satsuki stops arguing
and goes after Seifer. Whitewolf sighs.]
Whitewolf: So anyways, thanks for
watching GF Fanatics! See you next time for Shiva!