Disclaimer: I do not own
A/N: You will not be able to look at bananas and fezzes the same again. This is madness written by two very hyper college students. me and my friend.
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Once upon a time there was a mad old man in a blue box.
Fortunately:
His insanity isn't contagious.
Unfortunately:
He was allowed to roam the universe resulting in a lot of explosions.
Fortunately:
Time can be rewritten.
Unfortunately:
It can only be rewritten so many times before bad things happen.
Fortunately:
He was nowhere near the limit of bad things happening.
Unfortunately:
This is The Doctor we're talking about. Bad things always happen.
Fortunately:
He always carries a banana with him. Bananas are cool. Bananas make everything all better.
Unfortunately:
His banana was caught in the middle of a nuclear war. Radiation and bananas don't mix.
Fortunately:
The Banana was contained in the safe confines of the TARDIS.
Unfortunately:
The Banana in question can now drive the TARDIS thanks to its new super powers it got because it was exposed to radiation.
Fortunately:
The Doctor disabled the Banana with his spinning bow-tie.
Unfortunately:
Before The Doctor disabled it the banana stole his fez!
Fortunately:
He got his fez back which was relatively unharmed from its horrific ordeal.
Unfortunately:
When the banana touched the fez it transferred all its powers to the fez. Now The Doctor had a talking, evil genius of a fez.
Fortunately:
The Doctor had always wanted a talking fez. They are the best kind of fezzes.
Unfortunately:
They didn't always get on.
Fortunately:
They went to the universal fez convention and worked out all their 'differences '.
Unfortunately:
The fez got incredibly sick and had to go to a hospital specially designed for fezzes.
Fortunately:
The Doctor never left her side. Not for one tiny moment. He loved his fez and was deeply upset about her being ill.
Unfortunately:
His fez passed away that night. The doctor never gave her a name.
Fortunately:
Before passing away his fez had given birth to his child. He now has a beautiful baby boy fez.
Unfortunately:
His child ran away to live in hat land.
Fortunately:
They still stay in contact. He visits every year on his child's birthday.
Unfortunately:
His timing is horrific. Don't let the title ' Timelord ' fool you.
Fortunately:
He gets Christmas right every year. Christmas is The Doctor's favourite time of year and wouldn't miss it for the world.
Unfortunately:
He never knows what presents to buy his child as he is a fez, and he's not sure what fezzes like.
Fortunately:
He's best friends with a Stetson. Stetsons are cool. They know what to buy as they are hats themselves.
Unfortunately:
River shot his Stetson so now he has no one to give him opinions in what his fez love child would like for Christmas.
Fortunately:
All his son wanted for Christmas was to be given a name.
Unfortunately:
The Doctor is rubbish at choosing names. Havelock? Havelock the Fez. Hmmm maybe not the best idea.
Fortunately:
His son gave him an idea of what he wanted to be called.
Unfortunately:
The Doctor didn't listen. In one ear and out the other. Isn't that the saying?
Fortunately:
He wrote it down and put it in The Doctor's pocket.
Unfortunately:
The Doctor didn't find it until Christmas day.
Fortunately:
He named his son Leonardo and his son loved it, and gave him the biggest fez hug imaginable.
So if you ever see a crazy, floppy haired man wearing a fez. Don't be rude and say hello to The Doctor and his son Leonardo for me.