A/N--I own nothing. I don't even own the plot of this story! I'm just rewriting it from Jasper's perspective. I was lying in bed in the middle of the night last night, and i had a few lines running through my head. I ran to my computer to write them out and only then realized that what I was writing was Twilight from Jasper's perspective. All my adoration to Stephenie Meyer for creating such beautiful characters who inspire so many of us this way.
--
The thirst was overwhelming. It took every ounce of self control I possessed--and even some I didn't think I had—to keep from jumping up right then and there in the cafeteria of the high school we'd all sentenced ourselves to and feed in the way I so desired. To not massacre so many of these innocent children, requiring the death of all the others or our family's immediate disappearance and relocation. I clenched my hands into tight fists underneath the table and I watched my brother and Alice exchange the telltale looks that would mean nothing to outsiders, but that I knew meant that they were having one of their private conversations involving Edward reading Alice's mind.
Just then, a gust of wind—from the air conditioning system, maybe? I wasn't sure, my focus was elsewhere—changed the direction of the air in the room and I was overtaken by the powerful scent of a girl. A vaguely familiar girl. I felt a yearning in my throat and clenched my fists tighter, gritting my incredibly sharp teeth as I forced myself to remain in my seat as the fantasies overwhelmed me. It would be so easy, I thought, to have what I want right now. So easy. A simple matter of coming up behind her, leaning in as if to speak to her—calming her the whole time, or maybe not—excitement and fear would make her blood boil, as though she weren't appealing enough—then just bending down slightly and—
My thoughts were interrupted by the strong kick that Edward aimed at my chair under the table.
"Sorry." I muttered.
"You weren't going to do anything," Alice whispered to me. "I could see that." I sighed. My sweet, beautiful Alice. She really would do anything to try and calm me, even flat out lie. I may not have had the mind reading abilities of Edward, but I could feel what Alice was feeling, and she was worried.
"It helps a little if you think of them as people," Alice continued, as she began to talk about who the girl was, including some story about a garden party her mom had invited our adopted mother, Esme, to.
"I know who she is," I muttered shortly to her. I hated being cross with her, but at the moment it was still all I could do to keep from jumping out of my seat and fulfilling those fantasies I'd been imagining such a short time before. I desperately needed to hunt. It would be that night, I knew. Alice would want to come with me, I was sure, but I thought that perhaps I would bring my other brother, Emmett, instead. Understanding as always of my need to be left alone, Alice rose and left the cafeteria. I knew I would see her later.
The remainder of the lunch hour dragged on, even for me. I had eternity—an hour should have seemed like nothing. But I was thirsty, and temptation was abound in this overcrowded, stuffy cafeteria, with so many human scents surrounding me. At last, I was able to dump my tray of uneaten food, purchased only as a prop in my human charade, into the garbage and go to my senior level Calculus class with Emmett and my sister, Rosalie. Somehow, classes seemed easier than the bustle of the cafeteria—perhaps because there were not only fewer bodies, but stiller ones—they didn't move as much, and so the air didn't blow their scents around, igniting in my system like wildfire.
I made it to the classroom and took a seat as far back as I could, in the corner next to the door. I could always get up and leave, claiming to need the lavatory, if it became too much for me. I wouldn't need to worry about my stuff—Emmett would grab it when he left if he needed to. I was trying desperately to control myself, though; I didn't want to have to leave mid-class, because that tended to arouse suspicion in teachers. Suspicion meant attention, and that was something that we really tried to avoid. So I sat rigidly in my seat, staring at the clock willing the minutes to tick by faster. The hour seemed to drag on forever.
When at long last the bell signaling the end of the hour rang, I stood up and grabbed my bag full of books that I hardly ever even glanced at. I knew all the information anyway; they weren't going to teach me anything. Being around since the Confederate War, you do tend to pick up a fair amount of knowledge. I carried them around, much like my trays of food in the cafeteria, as a prop. I headed out the door immediately, with the plan of going outside for a few minutes until I had to be at my last class of the day. I thought that the air might clear my head a bit, make the last hour almost bearable.
"Jasper, you okay?" came the low mutter of Emmett just behind me and to my left.
"Yeah, fine." I said. "I'm going outside until the next class starts—gotta get some fresh air into me." My voice was gruffer than I'd planned on, but I couldn't help it. I stopped my breath and headed as quickly as would seem normal to the nearest exit. I made it outside and leaned against the wall of the school, breathing deeply and allowing the fresh air to flood my system, clearing out the tempting smells that had so overwhelmed me indoors. I felt calmer—not much, but enough—almost immediately. I closed my eyes for a moment and felt a hand on mine.
"Alice," I said, opening my eyes and turning to her. I spread my arms and she stepped into them, not saying a word as I enveloped her tiny, yet impossibly strong, body.
"I love you," she said in a low voice. "And you are strong, Jasper. You can do this. We'll hunt tonight. Emmett is going to come, too—I think he said something about a wrestling match. Okay?"
I just held her. She had such absolute confidence in my control, confidence that I certainly didn't have. Perhaps, with her ability to see the future, she was able to see that there was a part of me that I didn't even know was there, one that was in complete control of myself in the face of temptation.
"I'm okay now," I said, hoping that I was right, that she was right. "I'm ready to go to my last class. I really have done senior level English too many times now." I smiled down at her, the tiny little woman who'd been the sole source of happiness for me for the last nearly fifty years.
The final hour of the day passed by just as slowly as the previous one had. I was anxious to go hunting, and so despite the hour being more bearable due to my going outside during the class break as well as my not breathing during the class, I couldn't wait to leave. Finally, the final bell rang and I was able to escape. I moved in the flow of people—careful all the time to refrain from breathing in their scents—until I reached the parking lot, where I was able to break away from the crowd to meet Alice and my other adopted siblings at Edward's silver Volvo. Rosalie unlocked the car and we all slid in. Well, the majority of us were there, except Edward himself. Only a moment after I got there, however, Edward slid into the car. He'd clearly been moving much faster than he should have with this many humans around. He said nothing, despite Alice and Emmett's fevered requests for information, simply pulled out of the parking lot, again too fast considering the humans around, watching us in shock, and started driving in the direction of our home on the outskirts of town. Rosalie, Emmett, and I all turned to Alice. She didn't know what had happened to make Edward so desperate, but her beautiful eyes blanked out as she looked ahead to see what his plans were.
"You're leaving?" she asked softly.
"Am I?" Edward growled at her.
"Oh…." She whispered, as her vision changed. We were almost home already.
"Edward, drop us here. You should tell Carlisle yourself." Alice said, and Edward promptly stopped the car. I didn't know what exactly was going on as I climbed out with my family, but I knew that Alice would explain once we were inside. Esme would be wondering where Edward was, anyway. I saw Alice touch Edward's shoulder and lean in slightly to say something to him that even I couldn't hear. She stepped back, an anxious expression on her face as she shut the door and Edward roared off in the car.
"Alice, what is going on?" asked Emmett, as we ran to the house.
"Just wait. I'll tell everyone once we are inside, so that Esme will hear, too."
We were at the house in seconds.
"Esme," Alice said softly. Our adopted mother was in front of us immediately.
"What is it? Where is Edward?" Esme said, her voice betraying her confusion.
"Something's wrong, Esme. I don't know exactly what, because I only know what Edward is doing, not what happened to cause it. But I know that Edward wants to kill the Swan girl-Charlie Swan's daughter who came from Arizona. He's gone, Esme. He's gone up to Alaska. He was stopping to tell Carlisle, and then I saw him going there."
"Oh Edward," Esme said softly. "You didn't need to leave. You could have done this here—we could have helped you." Her voice was sad.
"He hasn't made any other decisions yet, so I can't see anything, but we all know Edward, Esme. He will come back, as soon as he feels that he can. I'm sure of it." She threw her tiny arms around Esme's shoulders. I didn't want the woman who was our mother in so many real ways to worry, either. It hurt all of us to see her, so gentle and compassionate, hurting so much. I reached out to her emotions, calming her with my special ability. She looked over at me and smiled.
"You're right, of course, Alice," she said. "I'm going hunting tonight. I think we all should. You, especially, Jasper. I know you're about at your limit at this point." I sighed. I knew she was simply stating a fact, and not intending to point out a weakness on my part—we were all thirsty, so a need to hunt was universal in our family at the moment—I just hated the fact that I had so much more difficulty resisting the natural urges that we all had than my family did.
"I was already planning to hunt tonight. What time do you want to leave?" I asked.
"We'll leave around three. It'll give us lots of time to hunt and still have our full strength tomorrow." Alice said.
"Three, then." Esme said. We split off then, to amuse ourselves until we left.