Disclaimer: Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, and various other places....(in other words, Sailor Moon is NOT mine. Damn that sucks to think about) ^__^
AN: This was my FIRST Sailor Moon fanfiction. It was also my first Seiya/Usagi fic, written before seeing Sailor Stars (I had only read episode summaries from Hitoshi Doi's site.) I did a little revisions, so I hope it's a little better than it was when i wrote it at 13.
AN2: Hope you guys enjoy this. I'd love any feedback. (who wouldn't?)
~*"I'll never forget you, Odango." "Yes, we'll be friends forever." *~
Her own voice echoed in her head that same stupid phrase she had said even six months after the whole incident. Her friends had made fun of her, saying 'she doesn't understand'...Of course she understood! How stupid did they think she was? She knew very well how Seiya felt about her, but....What Could She Do? She had Mamo-chan...
*Mamo-chan...* she thinks to herself. *He isn't even himself lately. I get the feeling we are not the perfect pair that we used to be...* But, had they ever been the perfect pair? She knew also that the only reason they ever got along in the beginning was because they had found out about their past together. Oh sure, they had romantic moments throughout their relationship and at one point she could actually say they were in love. But, now...He seemed distant. She was no slouch in that department either. She knew that. She had to wonder how it was that the senshi hadn't noticed the couple's odd behavior as of late. Perhaps they were too disillusioned by the thought of the king and queen and destiny...Who knows. With that group, one could just never tell.
"Seiya..." she found herself murmuring his name at the night sky, somehow hoping that the stars would answer her troubled thoughts. Luna spoke softly from behind her, obviously trying not to scare her: "Usagi-chan..."
"Luna..." Oh, no. She hadn't just heard her say HIS name, had she? That would be bad. "What's up?"
"Nothing. Just wondering what you were thinking about." She decided not to comment on the fact that she had just heard her young charge say that guys name AGAIN.
"Me? Think? You've got the wrong girl!" she laughs nervously and waves her hands in front of her. Luna sweat drops.
"Usagi-chan, you can cut the act. Everyone knows you aren't so stupid...."
"But, Luna, I AM stupid. I can't even decipher the feelings in my own heart." She covers her mouth with her hand as soon as she finishes her statement. *Baka, Usagi! How could you let it slip so easily?! Now she'll want to know everything...*
"Usagi?"
"Nothing! I didn't mean it! Just more stupid words coming out of this stupid mouth, that's all."
At this point, Luna gets angry. She hops up on the windowsill Usagi is leaning on so she is eyelevel with the sixteen-year old and puts a claw dangerously close to Usagi's face. Usagi gets tiny little sweat-drops all over her face. "Luna! What are you doing?!"
"If you say you are stupid ONE more time, I'll..." she stops when she sees the tears running down Usagi's cheeks. "Usagi?"
"But I am dumb, Luna, I am. I have everything. I have my destiny. I have peace. I am going to be a queen someday. I am going to marry Mamoru...." *Mamoru? She never calls him by his actual name.* Luna thinks. "But, that's not enough!"
"What are you talking about, Usagi-chan? You're not making much sense."
"I love HIM!" she bites out through sobs. "I love SEIYA, not Mamoru...I love Seiya..."
Luna looks at her in disbelief. Sure, they all knew that she had some feelings for the boy, but still...to hear it from her.
"That's silly, Usagi! You barely knew him! And HE is a SHE. And your destiny..."
"I'm sick of destiny! That's the only thing that's kept me and Mamoru together all this time. Don't you see? Neither of us are happy together! Neither of us want this burden...Oh, God, what am I saying?"
"Do you really love Seiya?" Luna asked after she saw that Usagi seemed to have calmed down a bit.
"I don't know. I don't know if I love him, I don't know if I love Mamoru. I just don't know anything anymore. I do know that something is different with Mamoru and I since we defeated Galaxia. He seems distant somehow. I'm the same way. But, that's just because I'm confused about who I love...I wonder..."
"Usagi-chan, he is devoted to you. You are just being paranoid. You are looking for reasons for your break-up because you are confused about your own heart...But, Usagi-chan, don't you think that you are only missing Seiya's presence in your life and that's why you believe you are in love with him?"
"You may be right, Luna."
"Yes. You just got used to Seiya being around as a friend and confidant and so now that you don't have him around, you are missing him and confusing that feeling with love. And about Mamoru, I haven't noticed anything different about him."
"Of course." She laughs, banishing her tears away. "You're right. I'm just overanalyzing this." She laughs again. "Me? Overanalyze something? The world is coming to an end, isn't it Luna?"
"Usagi-chan, you are hopeless." Luna says as Usagi plops down on her pillow and goes into a giggling fit. *At least she's feeling better.* she thinks and turns off the bedroom light. "Goodnight, Usagi-chan." Usagi promptly stops giggling.
"Night, Luna..." Luna falls asleep seconds later, so doesn't notice the tears running down the blonde-haired girls' cheeks. Usagi looks out at the night sky once again. *Am I in love with him? Seiya, how could you do this to me? I'm so confused!* she falls asleep, having a dream of Seiya returning.
~~~
End Prologue
~~~
Well, what do you think? I know the beginning is kind of strange. Probably completely unrealistic for Usagi's character to do. But, it gets better in the following chapters! I promise! Oh, and I'm sorry all you Mamo/Usa lovers, but if I wanted to see them together I would watch the show or read the manga. There's plenty of sap and mush in there for those two to last me a life time. PS. Yes, I know Seiya is female. In the anime though, it only hints that the starlights are female in their primary form (excluding the poems for their singles where, admittedly, yes it does have Seiya saying they did a lot to get their princess back, including become boys) but that could be interpretted as they have just remained in their senshi guises because of serving the princess. Oy, this is getting long. I'm not arguing with anybody here! Grr...I'm a little strange. Gomen! ~Aurora
AN: This was my FIRST Sailor Moon fanfiction. It was also my first Seiya/Usagi fic, written before seeing Sailor Stars (I had only read episode summaries from Hitoshi Doi's site.) I did a little revisions, so I hope it's a little better than it was when i wrote it at 13.
AN2: Hope you guys enjoy this. I'd love any feedback. (who wouldn't?)
~*"I'll never forget you, Odango." "Yes, we'll be friends forever." *~
Her own voice echoed in her head that same stupid phrase she had said even six months after the whole incident. Her friends had made fun of her, saying 'she doesn't understand'...Of course she understood! How stupid did they think she was? She knew very well how Seiya felt about her, but....What Could She Do? She had Mamo-chan...
*Mamo-chan...* she thinks to herself. *He isn't even himself lately. I get the feeling we are not the perfect pair that we used to be...* But, had they ever been the perfect pair? She knew also that the only reason they ever got along in the beginning was because they had found out about their past together. Oh sure, they had romantic moments throughout their relationship and at one point she could actually say they were in love. But, now...He seemed distant. She was no slouch in that department either. She knew that. She had to wonder how it was that the senshi hadn't noticed the couple's odd behavior as of late. Perhaps they were too disillusioned by the thought of the king and queen and destiny...Who knows. With that group, one could just never tell.
"Seiya..." she found herself murmuring his name at the night sky, somehow hoping that the stars would answer her troubled thoughts. Luna spoke softly from behind her, obviously trying not to scare her: "Usagi-chan..."
"Luna..." Oh, no. She hadn't just heard her say HIS name, had she? That would be bad. "What's up?"
"Nothing. Just wondering what you were thinking about." She decided not to comment on the fact that she had just heard her young charge say that guys name AGAIN.
"Me? Think? You've got the wrong girl!" she laughs nervously and waves her hands in front of her. Luna sweat drops.
"Usagi-chan, you can cut the act. Everyone knows you aren't so stupid...."
"But, Luna, I AM stupid. I can't even decipher the feelings in my own heart." She covers her mouth with her hand as soon as she finishes her statement. *Baka, Usagi! How could you let it slip so easily?! Now she'll want to know everything...*
"Usagi?"
"Nothing! I didn't mean it! Just more stupid words coming out of this stupid mouth, that's all."
At this point, Luna gets angry. She hops up on the windowsill Usagi is leaning on so she is eyelevel with the sixteen-year old and puts a claw dangerously close to Usagi's face. Usagi gets tiny little sweat-drops all over her face. "Luna! What are you doing?!"
"If you say you are stupid ONE more time, I'll..." she stops when she sees the tears running down Usagi's cheeks. "Usagi?"
"But I am dumb, Luna, I am. I have everything. I have my destiny. I have peace. I am going to be a queen someday. I am going to marry Mamoru...." *Mamoru? She never calls him by his actual name.* Luna thinks. "But, that's not enough!"
"What are you talking about, Usagi-chan? You're not making much sense."
"I love HIM!" she bites out through sobs. "I love SEIYA, not Mamoru...I love Seiya..."
Luna looks at her in disbelief. Sure, they all knew that she had some feelings for the boy, but still...to hear it from her.
"That's silly, Usagi! You barely knew him! And HE is a SHE. And your destiny..."
"I'm sick of destiny! That's the only thing that's kept me and Mamoru together all this time. Don't you see? Neither of us are happy together! Neither of us want this burden...Oh, God, what am I saying?"
"Do you really love Seiya?" Luna asked after she saw that Usagi seemed to have calmed down a bit.
"I don't know. I don't know if I love him, I don't know if I love Mamoru. I just don't know anything anymore. I do know that something is different with Mamoru and I since we defeated Galaxia. He seems distant somehow. I'm the same way. But, that's just because I'm confused about who I love...I wonder..."
"Usagi-chan, he is devoted to you. You are just being paranoid. You are looking for reasons for your break-up because you are confused about your own heart...But, Usagi-chan, don't you think that you are only missing Seiya's presence in your life and that's why you believe you are in love with him?"
"You may be right, Luna."
"Yes. You just got used to Seiya being around as a friend and confidant and so now that you don't have him around, you are missing him and confusing that feeling with love. And about Mamoru, I haven't noticed anything different about him."
"Of course." She laughs, banishing her tears away. "You're right. I'm just overanalyzing this." She laughs again. "Me? Overanalyze something? The world is coming to an end, isn't it Luna?"
"Usagi-chan, you are hopeless." Luna says as Usagi plops down on her pillow and goes into a giggling fit. *At least she's feeling better.* she thinks and turns off the bedroom light. "Goodnight, Usagi-chan." Usagi promptly stops giggling.
"Night, Luna..." Luna falls asleep seconds later, so doesn't notice the tears running down the blonde-haired girls' cheeks. Usagi looks out at the night sky once again. *Am I in love with him? Seiya, how could you do this to me? I'm so confused!* she falls asleep, having a dream of Seiya returning.
~~~
End Prologue
~~~
Well, what do you think? I know the beginning is kind of strange. Probably completely unrealistic for Usagi's character to do. But, it gets better in the following chapters! I promise! Oh, and I'm sorry all you Mamo/Usa lovers, but if I wanted to see them together I would watch the show or read the manga. There's plenty of sap and mush in there for those two to last me a life time. PS. Yes, I know Seiya is female. In the anime though, it only hints that the starlights are female in their primary form (excluding the poems for their singles where, admittedly, yes it does have Seiya saying they did a lot to get their princess back, including become boys) but that could be interpretted as they have just remained in their senshi guises because of serving the princess. Oy, this is getting long. I'm not arguing with anybody here! Grr...I'm a little strange. Gomen! ~Aurora