Disclaimer: One Piece and all of the characters don't belong to me, and I don't profit from this at all.
A/N: So, this is going to be a collection of drabbles, as ideas come to me, I'll upload more drabbles. Of course, you're more than welcome to send me drabble requests on tumblr as well.
Zoro stealthily crept into the kitchen, careful to keep his steps light and fast. Even with the commotion of Luffy, Chopper and Usopp running around on Thousand Sunny's deck, the love-cook's ears were still sharp. As Zoro crept across the floor of the kitchen, keeping low to the ground, he kept an eye out for the cook, well, his only eye, out for the cook.
Spotting Sanji standing by the sink washing dishes, Zoro took the chance to pick up the pace as he inched closer and closer to the fridge where Sanji usually kept a bottle of his favorite booze chilled for him. He normally wouldn't have to sneak around, but Sanji was being particularly difficult today and wouldn't let him have any, forcing Zoro to resort to sneaking around.
With a triumphant smirk, Zoro reached the fridge without Sanji's notice. However, before he could open the fridge to steal the bottle, he was rolling to the side to avoid the foot that had now dented the fridge. Leaping to his feet, he came face to face with one pissed off lover. He snarled "Oi! Curly brow, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"
Sanji exhaled and plucked the cigarette from his lips as he said "Oh? I seem to have caught a rat in my kitchen. What the hell does it look like, marimo?! You're trying to steal booze from my kitchen, and I already told you, you don't get any today for the shit you pulled last night!"
Zoro glared at Sanji and said angrily "I already told you it was a fucking accident, you prissy cook! Why the fuck are you throwing a tantrum over one plate?! It's not like Luffy hasn't trashed plates before! We have plenty left!" Zoro instinctively used a sheathed Wadou to parry the kick aimed for his head. Sanji shouted at the other male at the same time "Fucker, that's not why I'm upset! I made the fucking onigiri for you and you wasted some of them!"
Oh.
Well that explained a lot. Sanji always has this hang up about wasting food, but in this case, it really couldn't be helped. The plate's shards had been ground into the flattened onigiri thanks to either Luffy's sandal or Usopp's boot, so the food had to be wasted. Still, Zoro wasn't happy that he was being punished when it really wasn't his fault. Luffy had knocked the plate from his hand, and the ensuing reaction had lead to a rather angry game of chase with Luffy laughing like an idiot as he ran. Still, Zoro wanted the damn booze.
Well, no helping it then. Zoro sighed and decided to use his secret weapon. The cook was already riled up and angry, so he might as well make it worth his while for stealing the booze. Sheathing Wadou back in his haramaki, Zoro watched the other male warily, watching to see if Sanji would attack him. Satisfied that the other male wouldn't, Zoro made his move. Opening his mouth, Zoro started to softly sing a song, one he knew would catch Sanji's attention "Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be."
As Zoro sang, his voice dropped into a husky, seductive purr. He delighted in watching Sanji shiver in response, knowing that the song, and his voice were having an effect on the male. At the same time, Zoro approached Sanji slowly. Tapering the song off into a hum as he pressed Sanji back against the counter, he leaned in to nuzzle Sanji's neck as Sanji stubbed out the cigarette in anticipation of what was coming next.
Zoro turned to kiss Sanji instead. Kissing the other male hungrily, he held on to Sanji's hips, grinding against the other male and guiding the other male to move with him. Pressing Sanji against the counter once more, Zoro continued to kiss a pliant Sanji. Ah yes, Sanji was weak now. Now was the time to strike!
Continuing to kiss and distract Sanji, Zoro's nimble fingers got to work. When Zoro finally broke the kiss, Sanji whimpered in protest, opening his shut eyes to glare at Zoro, only to yelp at the cold bottle pressed against his cheek. "Oi, you bastard!" he snarled, glaring at a smirking Zoro.
Zoro, in response said "Thanks for the booze, cook." Leaning in, he purred in Sanji's ear "Let's talk about sex, baby…later." Laughing, he kissed Sanji's lips quickly before taking off, leaving Sanji standing in front of the half opened fridge with an expression of outrage on his face.
As the door to the ship's galley swung shut, Zoro heard a distinct shout of "MARIMOOOO!"
Sex.
It worked every time.