Summary- In real life Uzumaki Naruto is a nobody, but in the game, he's Kyuubi, the most wanted demon thief in the Kingdom of Kohona. But now a bounty hunter is after him in the game… and in real life. AU, SasuNaru

Warnings: Eh. Swearing... Yaoi, Violence, Yaoi, Corny humor. …and hey look, yaoi!

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine... I only own pictures of him. D: IT DOESN'T FILL THE HOLE. –sob-

Author's Note: I need to stop getting ideas... eventually I'm going to have a bunch of started stories and never... finish them… Um. Anyways. Enjoy. And… I decided to do this from first person point of view... Cause... Yeah. It works better that way.

Chapter One- Stolen Jewels

The whole forest is silent, and the only thing I hear is my harsh breathing resounding in my ears, and the painful pounding of my heart. I've been running for hours on end, in order to evade my captors. Ha, they're pathetic! Thinking they can catch me, Kyuubi, the demon fox theif, the greatest in the land! I think not.

I pause, bending over and placing my hands on my knees as I pant loudly, struggling to catch my breath. I have a large supply of stamina usually, but this last job completely wiped it out. Now my gauge is completely empty, and running is fucking hard! I mean, I've never noticed it before... But now I have to keep stopping or else I'll pass out.

I can't pass out. Nope. It's not an option.

If I do, the damn guards will catch me, and I'll have to give the Princess her jewels back. And that's not gonna happen. It's not that I don't like the Princess herself, don't get me wrong. In the beginning when I first met her in the game, I liked her a lot. And then... I found out who she was played by.

Haruno Sakura. The bitchiest girl in my entire school, and the one that makes my life a living hell. Originally I had a huge crush on her (come on, she's a fricken babe), but when I finally told her... She turned me down faster than you can say 'Bitch alert.' After that I started spreading rumors about her, saying she was a 'whore,' and slept with nearly every guy in the school (what? I was angry at her for not dating me!).

For a while it was funny, and I got to see the Queen Bitch herself suffer. And then she turned the tables. Suddenly it was I who was the whore, the slut, the cunt. I slept around with not only girls, but guys as well. Um, I'm sorry Sakura, but Uzumaki Naruto does not swing that way.

Nevertheless, everyone believed her rather than me, and I was being shoved into lockers, forced to do… ugh... disgusting things with horny guys, and otherwise known as the School Slut. Yippee for me, eh?

So that's when I delved deeper into the gaming realm, and found the best game of all. A fully interactive (complete with speech) game that let the gamers become any character they like, and explore the city of Kohona. Now it might sound kind of stupid, but really it's quite fun! I mean, you can't just suddenly become something, you have to work your way up.

Lord knows how Sakura became the fucking Princess of the place, but…

Anyways, there are numerous ranks in the game, starting from peasant (You're basically born into a family; my family was a bunch of pig breeders and my mom resembled a dirty, fat man. Let's not go into what my dad looked like…). Apparently (though it's really rare), you can be born into a royal family, but only one in a million players are.

Unfortunately, Sakura was one of those 'lucky' people.

Ahem, anyways. There was no way in hell that I was going to stay a freakin' pig breeder, so I took matters into my own hands, and trained myself in the ways of stealth, disguise, and yes, even thievery. My family had a lot of issues, and once the pigs started dying off from a rare disease, we needed money.

That's when I officially became the famous Fox-Demon Thief, known throughout the gaming world as the greatest bandit gamer known to man. If that wasn't an ego booster, I don't know what is. In any case, I was floating on cloud nine for a while, and not even Sakura could touch me.

But then my protective bubble was popped when I was transferred to another foster home (yeah, my parents are dead...), and this new couple had no computer. I was stranded in the real world, and I found that I was failing all my classes, I had no friends, and I was beaten up daily. It hurt to realize what a … loser I was, and I tried to focus on my school work.

Key word here is tried.

Eventually my new foster family couldn't stand my guts, and I was readopted by this really sweet guy, Iruka, whom I am still with today. He really doesn't deserve to be stuck with me, considering he's such a nice person and I'm a complete pain in the ass. He's always trying to get me to study more, and find some new friends.

Psssh.

First of all, I have a minor case of ADHD, so focusing on anything besides my game was nearly impossible. Secondly, finding friends with the reputation I have now is like finding the lost city of Atlantis. Unless a random merman swims up to me and shows me how the hell to get to the underwater city, I don't think I'm gonna find some pals.

Oh yeah, did I mention I'm rather sarcastic? Iruka says it's one of those traits that comes from being an 'adolescent.' Sure Iruka, you believe that. Do all adolescents talk back to the teacher? Do all adolescents practically egg on bullies to beat them up unintentionally?

Nope, just me. Cause I'm that one kid that's a screw up. And no one cares about that kid. He's a nobody.

I'm a nobody.

At least, in the real world I am. But in my game world, in Kohona, I am the greatest thief of all time, and no one can ever take that from me.

Oh shit! One of the guards snuck up on me while I was resting, and now he's challenging me to a battle.. Great, just great. I have no stamina, barely any energy, and if I get hit too much I could damage the jewels. My only option is to run… But I haven't recuperated enough yet.

"I repeat Fox, I challenge you to a battle! If I win, I get the jewels and you come with me back to the castle. If you win, you get to go free, with the jewels." He stared at me with brown eyes, and I wondered vaguely if that was what he looked like in real life. Yeah, in this game you can pick what you look like. I didn't change too much about myself.. Just my hair and eye color.

My hair's a bright, fiery orange, completely wild, and my eyes are a deep blood red with slit pupils. Oh, and I wear orangish-red fox ears and a nine tails, because I am Kyuubi, the nine tailed fox-demon. Besides that I'm still short, semi muscular, and all around a babe magnet.

Okay.. well maybe not as much as a babe magnet as I would like. I haven't ever gone on a date, and… I've never kissed a girl… Plenty of guys have kissed me (but I haven't kissed back; bleh), and that's Sakura's damn fault, because now all these sex crazed guys come to me for release.

Don't worry, I'm still a virgin. … Not to oral sex anyways, but I haven't done anything else beside blow jobs. (Once again, those weren't willingly done on my part.)

Eh… How did we get on this subject again?

Oh right. I have to reply to that guard…

"I won't fight you. Because I don't want to kill you." I am not bluffing, not at all. And yes, you can kill people in this game. It takes a lot, but you can. You have to be pretty powerful to do so, since when you do kill someone you lose half your health, stamina, ect; it's basically like a punishment for taking someone else's life.

I've only killed one person, and that was because I had no choice. It knocked me down to nearly no health, no stamina, no nothing. If I had run into anything.. I'd have been dead in a second. But luck was on my side, and I managed to fight another day.

"You can't kill me. You can barely stand up!" The guard retorted, and I winced as I realized he saw right through my obvious lie. Damn castle guards. So fucking smart.

Haha, actually that's a lie, because there was one time when I was being chased and-

"Fuck off dude, he's mine!" My head jerked around to look at the owner of the gruff voice, and saw another man, this one covered in scars, and smoking a cigarette. I didn't have to look twice to know he was an assassin, or maybe a bounty hunter. Assassins and bounty hunters are one of the highest levels you can reach in the game, and they can kill as many people as they want and only lose one eighth of their stats.

Lucky bastards.

I had no idea if he was an assassin or a hunter, but I guess it didn't matter.

Either way, he was here to take someone's life.

… And I'm guessing it's mine.

Author's Note: I actually like how this is going... But I should've updated one of my other stories instead of starting a new one. OH WELL. Hm, if there's something that doesn't make sense, tell me. I think this chapter might be a bit scatterbrained. Oh and don't worry, the other ninja people will appear, I promise.