A Thousand Times a Day

by youarethemoon

Edward, doing what he believes is right, leaves Bella to protect her from a dangerous secret from his past. Extremely depressed, Bella turns to Jacob for comfort until Edward returns, and then is forced to pick between her two loves for the final time.

1. Epilogue: Losing Him Again

Disclaimer: All characters behind this work of fanfiction belong to Stephenie Meyer. All ideas that this fanfiction are based on belong to me.

It was happening again. My heart seemed to stop pounding and I gasped for air, as if my lungs had disappeared. This had to be a nightmare. After everything we had been through, it couldn't happen again. I couldn't lose him again.

"Edward, please," I gasped, reaching my hands out to grab his shirt. He stepped away slightly, and my arms dropped with a thud. "You can't be serious!"

I stared into his eyes, desperate to find a flicker of emotion. They remained as hard and cold as stone. I could feel myself losing control. "What did I do to deserve this again!?" I whispered, emphasizing the word again, hoping to see him wince in pain from the guilt of what happened six months ago. Nothing.

"You did absolutely nothing Bella," he replied, his musical voice now sounding hard and distant. "My feelings for you have changed, and it would be in your best interest to move on now. You're free to live your life as it should be lived."

I shook my head emphatically, my wet hair slapping me in the face. Tears ran down my face, but Edward did not notice, nor did he care. "I don't want that life damnit! I only want you!"

Edward shook his beautiful head, gazing at me with pity. There was no love in his look. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice full of regret. "It wasn't my intention to hurt you again."

I sank to the ground, oblivious to the wet mud that was staining my clothes. The ground felt familiar and safe. This was the exact spot he left me last time. How fitting that I lose him here again. Forever. The rain started pouring down hard, and thunder boomed in the distance. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to hurt me again. Edward, I don't know if I can survive this time!"

He crouched down to look into my eyes. "Goodbye Bella," he murmured. He stroked my mud stained cheek. I flinched; his hands were like ice. I struggled to breathe, hoping to fight back the approaching darkness that I knew I could not escape.