She couldn't breath. She felt a pressure on her chest, as if something large was sitting on it, getting heavier by the second. Her lungs were screaming for air. What if she gave up now? Just let it all go. There was nothing for her in this world. She was alone. She had played her part and had played it badly. She lost and now she was done. She didn't believe in god, but she didn't want to die alone and imagined Him being there with her. Please have mercy on my soul and forgive me. It was a small comfort for what she was about to do. She closed her eyes and took a breath. There was no sweet release of air filling her lungs. Instead water flowed in fast. She opened her eyes wide in shock. It hurt. Her lungs were burning. She wanted to cough it out, but with every painful cough more water flowed in. Her body was not agreeing with her dying, it's survival instincts kicked in and she started to struggle against the hand on the back of her neck. Her ears were ringing and her eyesight was getting fuzzy. She heard people talking, no, shouting, but it was far away. She couldn't make out the words. Suddenly time slowed down. The pain went away. White and black dots were swimming before her eyes and then it turned black. She had closed her eyes without wanting to do so, but couldn't open them anymore. This was it. She was ready. Her heart had beaten so fast before, adrenaline shooting through her veins. But now it had gotten slower, preparing for its last beat.
Kurt
Her eyes opened wide in shock. She breathed in and to her surprise her lungs, deprived from air soaked the air in. It hurt though. The pain that had gone came back in full intensity. She turned from lying on her back to her side – since when was she lying on the ground? - and was coughing water out. Every cough a painful hacking in her lungs. She wanted to stop, but couldn't. The water needed to come out. Her two tortures let her be till she was done coughing, then picked her up by the cuff of her shirt. She felt a sting in her arm and saw that he man had pulled out an IV of her arm which they had used to revive her.
"We won't let go of you that easily," he said through his teeth, clearly angry, spitting in her face with every word. "Don't pull a stunt like that again." He let her go and she fell to the ground, not having the strength yet to stand on her own. The other man shook his head disapprovingly, but didn't say anything. He picked her up by her shoulders and supported her to her cell, where he threw her in roughly. She fell to the ground and instantly curled up in a ball, cold and shaking. She winched when she heard the door close and the clink of a key turning. The sound of captivity. She closed her eyes and tried to control her rapid breathing. She had almost succeeded, she thought. She had felt the grip of death. She could have gone there. She could have surrendered. But something had stopped her. Kurt Weller... She shivered, unsure why his name had crossed her mind in her dying moments. He had betrayed her. He had given her to be tortured here, without a fight.
But you betrayed him first. The thought felt like a punch to her stomach. Once again leaving her breathless.
To keep him save! She tried to defend herself to her thoughts. To keep him save...But she knew she was lying to herself. She knew she had been in the wrong. She should have trusted Kurt. Or at least, when Mayfair was arrested, she should have spoken out. But she had been scared and Oscar he... He was her finance. Even without her memories she still felt that she had loved him once. Yes, loved him, she thought. She was not the same person she was before. She hadn't loved Oscar as Jane, but she had loved the idea of him and the idea of bringing down corruption so much that she had followed him. Her ego and her intrigue in who he was and who she was, had kept her quiet.
She signed. It would have been easier if she had let herself die today, but she was happy now that she hadn't. The experience had formed an idea in her head. She smiled. For the first time in three months she smiled. She could escape this hellhole.