A/N: I spent six hours on this so u better read and review :)))) I'm so proud of myself I'm 24 (twenty-four) years old and i thought of this myself :))))) also today marks four years since i learned to use capslock :)))))) yay me!

"Fabian," nina said

"What" fabian muttered not realizing nina was 4589402674902 miles away and he was hallucinating

"FABIAN DO U HAVE ABS YET"

"What" fabian is Confused. "No"

the auditory hallcination drifted into one (1) of fabian's eye. He saw, with his eye, his face photoshopped on Jacob Black's ripped torso. Fabian is no longer Confused.

"I need to become a werewolf," he realizes

"IF U GET ABS I WILL TAKE U BACK" the auditory hallucination said into his eyeball socket.

Fabian decides.

"I will become a WereFabian," he says

"Wait that's not what i meant"

"Yes it was"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

Fabian rolls out of bed and falls down because his weak and non-athletic arms don't allow him walk on his hands for .001 seconds and he cries because he want normal person and roll out of bed and walk on his hands like everyone else in the psychatric hospital.

A nurse appears from deep inside fabian's abdominal muscles. "But fabian," she says, "you don't live in a psychiatric hospital."

"Y not"

"Because u signed the papers to b released and then rolled out of the hospital on a seg way"

"Oh" fabian is impressed with himself that he was able to do that. "Ok so where do i go to be bitten by a werewolf to become a WereFabian"

"Well to become a werefabian u have to be bitten by a wereFABIAN not a wereWOLF."

"Wait," Fabian realizes. "What is a WereFabian?"

The nurse doesn't answer. The nurse has no face.

Fabian finds a scooter under his bed and stabs her with a clown sticker he pulled off the handlebars. Green pus comes out. She rises to the ceiling like a balloon, head lolling, lifeless.

Fabian shrugs and rolls away on the scooter, tracking all the blood from last night into the hallway as he does.

In the kitchen he finds a mannequin shaped like himself sitting on the counter. It is holding its arms out to God and looking up at the ceiling. Fabian looks up at the ceiling too. He sees nothing. He looks back down. The mannequin is now on the floor, pretending to be dead.

Fabian Is Not Fooled.

He holds a gun up to the mannequin's head. "Show me where I can find a WereFabian," he growls.

The mannequin glares with the two (2) eyeballs he stole from the lady Fabian murdered last night. "Why do u want 2 kno"

"So i can get abs and nina will drive her car over the ocean to take me back"

"Oh," the mannequin shapeshifts into a gargoyle and starts to fly away. "That's a good reason, but like, mate… Werefabians scare me… they kill people… sometimes I look like a human if I'm in my mannequin form… I might be caught in the crossfire u kno…"

"I CAN PROTECT YOU" Fabian screams as the mannequin/gargoyle/traitor flies out of the window.

And then Fabian REALIZES.

He's murdered six people in his bedroom! HE'S ALREADY A WEREFABIAN!

"WOOO!" Fabian screams. He pulls off his shirt to inspect his abs. He finds he no longer has eyeballs. The dead nurse floating on the ceiling upstairs plucked them out of his sockets while he was distracted.

Now he will never see his abs.

…..Unless he steals eyeballs from someone else

Which he will probably do tonight when he kills the seventh member of the cult he joined to raise Rufus Zeno from the dead. The seventh death marks the day Rufus Zeno will rise.

Fabian is excited.

Except…. He suddenly remembers…. The seventh member is himself….

He unties the rope attached to his ankle and floats out of the window to escape.

THE END.

A/N: Will Rufus come back to life? will fabian ever get his eyeballs back? will nina ever become more than a hallucination? FIND OUT NEXT TIME

...But probably not cuz there's a nurse attached to the ceiling in my bathroom and she has a knife and i really need to pee so im prob gonna get killed haha no big deal