We Will End This War

Zutara Month: Intimacy

Zuko walked around the grounds of the Western Air Temple his mind full of thoughts and memories. He found it immensely hard to believe that a year ago, he was here, and for all the wrong reasons.

A year ago, his only purpose was to capture the Avatar and regain his "honour". He shamefully remembered all his foolish words to his Uncle as he pursued the only hope of the end of the war.

As he walked out into the open air of the grounds, he ran a hand through his hair. Even now he couldn't believe how badly he'd messed up. He knew he'd made the right choice now, but Uncle… Would he ever see him again? Zuko had no idea where he was, and even if he were to find out, would Uncle even want to see him again? Uncle had stuck with him, despite all the mistakes, stupid decisions and treating Iroh like a failure, he'd stood by him. How had Zuko returned the favour? He'd betrayed him, and Zuko was certain that that had finally driven his uncle over the edge.

But at least things were improving. He'd joined the Avatar and his friends as a Firebending teacher and he'd regained everyone's trust and forgiveness. Including Katara's.

Zuko sat right on the edge of the building, gazing up solemnly at the night sky. What if he'd stayed in the Fire Nation? What if he'd made the wrong choice? Again. 'There's no need to think about that' Zuko decided. 'I'm here, I'm doing the right thing and that's all that matters.'

Zuko furrowed his eyebrows. Did he hear crying? Curiosity and confusion caused the banished prince to get to his feet and follow the sound. He identified the cries to be one of a woman's or a girl's. The noise led him to a dark and desolate part of the area. 'Who would be here?' Zuko wondered. The weeping was coming from the dark room directly in front him. Slowly, Zuko stepped in quietly until the source of the sound was merely a metre away from.

When Zuko finally laid eyes on the mystery person, he could hardly believe what he was seeing. Katara. Katara was crying. Somehow, he just couldn't wrap that around his head. She was curled up in the corner of the room. Her face buried in her knees and her arms wrapped around them. Her shoulders shook with heaving sobs and although Zuko couldn't directly see her face, her hair loopies were a dead giveaway.
"Katara are you okay?" He blurted out, then immediately, he wanted to punch himself. Of course she wasn't okay! She was isolated from everyone else, crying her eyes out. At the sound of his voice, Katara's head shot up, looking shocked that she had been found.
"Oh yeah, Zuko, I'm fine." She said hurriedly, standing up and wiping her tears away.

"You're not fine." Zuko replied bluntly. "Come on, let's get you some fresh air." He walked out of the room with Katara following in his wake. Soon they were both out in the open space and once again Zuko sat on the floor, letting his legs hang off the building. Awkwardly, he beckoned for Katara to sit beside him. The Water Tribe girl slowly responded and when she was comfortably seated Zuko turned to her.
"What's wrong?" he asked. Katara sighed in response.
"It's nothing." Zuko stared at her intensely.
"No one cries like that over nothing Katara. Least of all you." Katara met his eyes and Zuko was surprised to see the raw pain she was trying to hide.

'Um, well," She began clumsily. "I was crying about my Dad." Zuko really didn't know how to respond and upon seeing his look, Katara rushed on.
"I know it sounds stupid and it's not a good time to be upset about it but it's just I've hardly seen him these last few years. He left for the war so soon and every opportunity I get is ripped away from me. I saw him after Ba Sing Se and I told him how I felt, about needing and missing him." Katara sniffed. "Then we were off again. The second time we saw him was right before the invasion. But there was no time for anything, we were all getting prepared for an attack, and in the end Dad was captured."

Katara paused to take a breath and Zuko felt his heart sink with sadness. "You and Sokka rescued him from the Boiling Rock and I was really happy. It was really nice to just have him around without having something else to focus on. But when Azula came, he had to go on the warship. It feels like every time I see him, it's only to have him taken away from me. Over and over and over again."

Katara began crying again, in heaving and uncontrollable sobs. Zuko's heart ached at the despair she feeling and he could barely make out her words as she continued.
"And now, I'm so scared if something's going to happen to me or to my Dad and I've barely said anything to him! I can't lose another parent and I just hate this war so much for tearing apart-"

She didn't get any further than that. For in that moment, Zuko pulled the distraught girl securely into his arms. She broke down on his chest, right then and there, clutching her fists in his shirt. Zuko felt dismayed about seeing Katara at her lowest point, so broken, and he felt the maddening urge to reassure her.

"It's not insane to be upset about that at all." He began, as Katara shook against him. "I was thinking about the same thing right before I found you. Not about my father obviously but my Uncle. Except, I had three years with him, and I wasted them all. I was thinking about all the things I regretted. You have nothing to regret Katara. You're doing everything you can to end this war, and even though you missed out on time with your Dad, you'll get it all back when this war ends. I know it seems impossible when you're feeling like this Katara, but we will end this war."

Katara nodded frantically into his shirt and looked up at him with shining eyes. Zuko was happy to see her tear streaked face reveal a small smile.

"You're right Zuko," She said quietly. "Thank you, and sorry about soaking your shirt." She sniffed. Zuko waved away her apology.
"It's okay." Clearly they had finished speaking, so Zuko had expected Katara to pull away and leave him. Instead, she wrapped her own arms around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. Zuko had also expected to feel awkward about this development, especially that they were done talking. But in fact, he felt comfortable and content with their position.
"Your Uncle would be so proud of you Zuko." Katara said abruptly. "I know you made some mistakes in the past but this is exactly what your Uncle wanted for you. You'll find him and you'll see."

Zuko suddenly thought of Mai. Of all the kisses they'd shared and their complicated relationship. Here, with Katara in his arms, talking about the things that actually mattered to them, Zuko felt an intimacy with her that he'd never felt with Mai.

Zuko propped his chin on the top of Katara's head.

"I hope so. You're right about the war Katara, about it tearing everyone apart, but-"

"We will end it one day." Katara finished off for him. Zuko smiled, looking up hopefully at the night sky.

"That we will."