A/N: At long last...I finally stopped being doubtful about the idea, and wrote this Death Note fic! ^_^ I know I have...er...several other stories for Naruto, and some other fic about a game, still being in progress. But seriously, this idea has been bothering me for TWO freaking MONTHS! I do like Death Note, I know I'm one for action...but I do tend to enjoy a little crime, mystery, and whatever else the series is. :) It's really good in my opinion, the ending to the anime could have been MUCH better though. And I had a few characters I didn't really like much (*Clears throat and glances at Light*). However, I think it was still good, once L died...that kind of made me lose a little interest in the series; he so made the show interesting...
Anyway, so I do like Death Note, but there is other anime I like better. I feel as though I should at least write one fic for it, to IDK spread the love I guess. *Shrugs shoulders* I may write more Death Note fics...it just depends on my mood.
Sorry about the LONG explanation. -_-' Anyway...I'm not sure how long this fic will go on...because it's mainly a lot of little stories that have no relation to each other. These are little drabble-things with various characters (mostly L and Light)...although some will be kind of longer than others. *Raises a finger, as if gesturing to some invisible sign* If the short little stories are related to each other (-Like...a two-parter or something-), then I'll mention that in the A/N! :) This isn't a..."chaptered" story. All the little stories will mostly be separate. If this was confusing...PM me and I'll try and explain this MORE CLEARLY! -_-;
Oh, and most of the characters will definitely be OOC at some point! That's what makes these stories funny after all! ;) If they are OOC at some point, well...bitch about it if you MUST, but it won't get any of us anywhere...*Sighs* Alright, alright! I'm sorry if anyone's OOC! God! :(
Er...enjoy the fic. :) Feedback would make my day and that smiley face right next to the first statement would become reality...but I'm not begging.
Disclaimer: ...DO YOU REALLY THINK I OWN DEATH NOTE? IF I DID, L WOULDN'T HAVE DIED! ...I don't own the anime/manga series, seriously. -_-'
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Death Note: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
1: Light: Caught In The Act
It was quiet. Really quiet. And when we say "quiet", we mean: it's so quiet that one could assume everyone in the entire HQ has unexpectedly died. Hmm...no, that assumption couldn't be true...yet. Until, Kira was at it again, Light Yagami randomly thought as he tore his eyes sore eyes away from the computer screen before him.
His eyes were hurting like hell. Oh...when was the last time he had gotten to get away from those screens in the dark and rather depressing room? Let's see...that was about twelve freaking hours ago.
"If Ryuzaki doesn't take off these handcuffs and allow me at least ten seconds away from this USELESS surveillance, I am going to frigging SCREAM." Light Yagami thought, giving the man sitting/crouching in the chair next to him a glare. But then he inwardly took a deep breath and, in a badass fashion, collected himself. "No...I wouldn't SCREAM, but damn it, I'll do it if my eyes continue feeling like they're on FIRE! Why does he INSIST on this? And why the hell does he look so calm? Doesn't his eyes ever get dry and irritated from this?"
"You seem rather vexed..."
As if he were inside a manga, an angry vain appeared onto Light's head. He clenched his teeth and then turned around to look at L, who was staring at him intensely.
"Oh, I overshot that a LONG time ago..." Light muttered, hoping that L had heard him. But it didn't seem like it all, so he inwardly sighed. "Why are we doing this? You sent everyone else out to get groceries; your sweets, and you're forcing me to sit here and stare at an OBVIOUSLY innocent old woman on a park bench!"
L just stared at Light, until he had calmed down and was through the rant. His rant made his suspicions of him being Kira rise quite dramatically...like always. Once the "vexed" teenager calmed down, L simply shook his head a little bit.
"That woman could be Kira, Light-Kun." L simply stated. This caused Light to glance away and roll his eyes.
"HOW the hell could she be Kira? Look at her: she's got to be at least eighty, and she's got to be blind because she's wearing sunglasses and it's very cloudy outside!"
L tilted his head slightly. "So...what are you hinting at?"
"We are WASTING time, Ryuzaki! She's obviously not Kira, and what gave the impression she was anyway?"
"I had previously sent out Matsuda to set up a camera in the park, that is when I saw her; and only Kira would be that sensitive to the light outside."
Light actually facepalmed at that moment while L reached over and almost mindlessly grabbed a piece of cake nearby and stuffed it into his mouth before looking back at the camera.
"Well I still say this is useless. And you haven't allowed me to have any real freedom since you handcuffed us together..."
"Is that what you are vexed about? I concluded a high percen-"
"Yes! My eyes are KILLING me from staring at these screens for TWELVE HOURS, my stomach is growling like a BEAR, my mouth is unhealthily dry, and I'M PRETTY DAMN SURE I'M GOING TO HAVE A KIDNEY DISEASE IF I DON'T-"
"Light-Kun, there is no reason to raise your voice at the particular moment." L interrupted through a mouthful of cake. It actually came out like this: "Lightbun, thess no reasy, voiceatapartu nom."
Okay...Light was about to completely snap. If Ryuzaki did not allow him at least a few minutes away from computers and himself, he would write his OWN name in the Death Note and give himself a heart attack. But he then noted that he couldn't do that...he still had a few things left to do and accomplish in the mixed up world he was wrapped up in. Suicide...that was just the easy way out.
Light collected himself again and got L's attention by gesturing to those damned handcuffs that trapped them together. "Can you at least let me go for a few minutes?" L gave him a suspicious look. "I'm going to DIE here in this chair if I don't get get some moisture back in my dried out eyes, eat, drink something, and use the restroom."
L had finished eating the entire cake by the time Light was done pretty much literally pleading for freedom. He gave it some thought, and then came to a very spontaneous conclusion.
"Then that means Kira is at it again...now he is out to kill people the old-fashioned way: torture..." Light facepalmed again after L said that, WHEN was he going to get through to him? "In this moment, your percentage of being Kira has gone down very slightly, Light-Kun. In return: the old woman's percentage has gone up by five percent, she obviously likes things the old-fashioned way after all."
Light now had his hands clenched tightly into fists, veins were forming on them and his teeth were violently being crashed against each other. "RYUZAKI! THIS WOMAN ISN'T KIRA! JUST LET ME GO FOR A FEW MINUTES!"
L was not at all caught off-guard by Light's sudden outburst. Once again, the percentage raised again and he gave Light the blankest look one could possibly achieve. The enraged teenager was panting from the outburst and glaring at him. And then L spoke again, as he reached into his loose jeans pocket and pulled out a key that seemed to glow with beautiful music in the background.
"Why didn't you just say that before?"
Light's eye twitched repeatedly.
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"At least he FINALLY let me free from being trapped with him for a few minutes. But I STILL can't believe he's come to the point of suspecting the most random people to be Kira!" Light thought as he took the elevator back up to another floor.
L had finally allowed Light to be free from the handcuffs for a short time. But he didn't like the idea though, Kira could have been lurking anywhere and he still was very much convinced Light was Kira; the outbursts really gave it all away.
Light was even more annoyed that he only got a "ten minute" break away. But he accepted that anyway, and had splashed some water in his burning eyes, used the restroom, drank some kind of cola he found in the fridge, and ate a few potato chips along the way. Now that the elevator stopped at the floor, he left and then continued going for his destination.
"This world really isn't fair..."
Light dragged himself out of his thoughts and then absentmindedly glanced around. He noticed that he wasn't at the room, he was actually by the temporary room he'd been given at the HQ (because L declared he wouldn't let Light free just yet, and had to be with him 24/7). Well...maybe Ryuzaki could wait a little while, right? Besides, he was very stressed and annoyed at the moment...maybe he could loosen up a little.
An idea came to Light's mind. He smirked a little and then walked into the room towards a radio he had on the table next to the Death Note. He glanced around in a paranoid fashion and then realized he was alone for the moment. He wouldn't ever have another good chance to loosen up a little. Hey, he wasn't always so badass and perfect! Light quickly put in some music and then walked over and shut the door as the music started up.
And he did secretly like the song. He was so into it that he started to dance around a little. As he danced, however, he begun to strip off his clothes as if he were a stripper...
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Back in the surveillance room, L had just finished drinking some tea and as he watched the old woman on the camera fall asleep on the bench. He still watched her intensely, even though he also was counting down the time Light has been gone. Strangely Light hasn't returned, and the ten minutes had already past by.
Now L was suspicions again.
"Hmm..." L put his finger to his mouth and then set down the empty cup. "It's been 12.1 minutes and 3 seconds... I guess I should go search for him.
The sweet-obsessed detective then got up out of the chair from his crouching position and then stood up with slouch, he walked out of the room.
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Where the hell was Light? What could he possibly be doing when they had to be alert and ready with the Kira Case? It almost seemed as if he didn't care about the case. And if Light didn't care, that obviously meant that he was indeed Kira.
L took the elevator to another floor; where him and Light's temporary room was. After resisting the urge to go crazy and press every button in sight, he took the elevator to the floor, stepped out, and continued his way. Maybe Light was in the room?
"I wonder where-" L was cut off by some loud music blasting from the room. He noticed he was standing by the room and then walked a little closer and listened in.
He could have sworn he heard music, and he also heard the sound of someone's feet hitting the floor, probably dancing. He also heard some singing...it strangely sounded like Light; but a little more eviler and laced with insanity.
L was suspicious to that. So he lightly grabbed the door with his pale hand and opened it almost all the way. He stood there in the doorway and blankly stared at the sight before him: Light was dancing to the song, his back was turned to him but he was wearing no shirt and only his pants that were beginning to slip a little and reveal his underwear. L was certain he was holding something, substituting the item as a microphone and singing into it. Now, L could have said something, but he wanted to get a good luck at the teenager's weird moment as he started singing:
"End of passion play, crumbling away...
I'm your source of self-destruction...
Veins that pump with fear, it's sucking darkest clear...
Leading on your deaths' construction...
Taste me, you will see...
More is all you need!
Dedicated to how...I'm killing you..."
L crossed his arms and tilted his head a little bit. Light continued dancing, unaware of his sudden audience of one.
"Come crawling faster...
Obey your master...
Your life burns faster...
Obey your master, master..."
Light still continued to sing, way too into the song. He still was not aware of L's presence and pretty much danced all the way over to the bed, his pants almost completely off.
"Master of puppets, pulling your strings...
Twisting your mind, smashing your dreams...
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing...
Just call my name, I'll here you scream...
Master, master!
Just call my name, I'll here you scream...
Master, master!"
L put his finger to his mouth when he heard those last lyrics. Light continued to dance around, having a great time for once in his life. But hey, from what he knew, nobody was around to see it! His pants slid off to the floor, revealing dark red boxers. This made L ponder something...dark red...the color of blood; fresh blood pouring out of a wound of a victim...of Kira...
"Needlework the way, never you betray...
Life of death becoming clearer...
Pain monopoly, ritual misery...
Chop your breakfast on a mirror..."
Light, in the middle of dancing, went back to the center of the room and then whirled around to face the door: that's when he opened his eyes and then they widened dramatically as he noticed L standing in the doorway watching the whole thing. He stared in bewilderment and dropped the toothbrush he was using as a microphone.
L, meanwhile, was still looking extremely blank as he leaned in the doorway. His blank eyes showed brief emotion: maybe either amusement or surprise, Light was just too stunned to read them.
"...H-how...when did you...I..." Light realized speech was impossible at the moment, he furrowed his eyebrows together as his face burned a little in humiliation and turned off the radio before looking back at L, who has pointing an accusing finger at him.
"I was right. You areKira." L declared in that blank voice of his.
Light was stunned even more. "What? HOW am I Kira?"
L had been analyzing the entire moment while he watched Light's...unexpected performance. And he had come to the conclusion rather simply.
"Only Kira would have a singing voice like that, and enjoy a song about death and someone's life being in control by another."
Light rolled his eyes. "Ryuzaki, the song is about freaking DRUGS..."
"Then not only are you Kira, but you are also dealing illegal drugs to minors!"
Light just gaped at that conclusion. Okay...he REALLY didn't want to know how L came up with that one. Before he could speak again, L whipped out his cellphone at a blinding speed and then dialed a number before delicately holding it by his ear with a finger.
"Yes...listen Watari, the Kira case is officially closed. I have accurate proof that Light is Kira, and dealing illegal drugs. Hurry back to the headquarters with everyone else in no less than five minutes...and make sure all the sweets get placed somewhere safe; I don't want Kira to escape and taint them with his foul illegal drugs."
Light couldn't hear Watari's reply. But L nodded afterward and then turned off the cellphone before stuffing it back in his pocket and quickly stepping out of the room as Light tried to figure out what the hell just happened.
"Ryuzaki-"
Light was cut off by L slamming the door. From the outside, L had decided to take drastic measures and handcuff himself to the doorknob; preventing a still-stunned and humiliated Light from opening the door and "escaping" until the rest of the team arrived for backup.
"RYUZAKI! OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR! I AM NOT KIRA!"
"Being in denial won't get us anywhere." L replied in his monotone voice, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a box of candy. "Justice will prevail eventually..."
"RYUUUUUZAKIIIIII!"
So...even though it was in a weird way, this odd story got wrapped by everyone else at the HQ bursting in like a SWAT team...well...except for Watari; Watari went to hide the huge piles of L's sweets in a safe location.
Light was arrested for being discovered as the serial killer, Kira, and for also "dealing illegal drugs". Mr. Yagami was shocked when he discovered his son was a criminal, but then he got over it immediately when L reminded him that their tough and exhausting work with that case was closed. Everyone else celebrated and went out drinking.
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Now that their work was over, it was late into the night and L was poking around in the temporary room he and Light shared. He walked up to the Death Note still lying on the table, but discarded the idea of it being suspicious, besides: the case was closed.
"Hmm...I didn't realize this morning I would discover my suspicions of Light were correct. But what bothers me is: I never did find any of his illegal drugs." L thought as he walked over to the edge of the bed and sat/crouched on it. "Oh well. At least it's all over, and I do not have to suffer through Light's rather annoying whining and complaining. I...I only let him slip away for ten minutes because I was about to lose my mind."
And so...on a final note: the day was full of rather unfortunate events for Light, but great events for L.
Upon realizing all that, the corners of L's lips twitched until a cute/mischievous smile formed.
End.
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Um...yeah, I really don't know. ^^' This was so random and strange, but I strangely had a little fun writing it. Even though...it sucked, right?
Well, let me know how the first little story was. As the very first story, I decided to make it a little bit longer than planned; mainly because of the song I included. This entire fic is about little stories like this, and this one will have NO relation to the next one!
The song Light was singing was Master of Puppets by Metallica. And I'm certain the song is about drugs...and I'm not so certain about how L was convinced he was a drug-dealer. ^^'
Anyway, I hope this was fine. Feel free to tell me your thoughts: I could use the criticism...even though it may sting...I can handle it...seriously. Oh, and if you want: feel free to suggest ideas for little stories that include unfortunate events for the characters. Because...I could get writer's block and could take FOREVER to recover: we wouldn't want that at all! If you are interested in suggesting an idea: it can be with ANY Death Note character...mostly L and Light though. But the idea has to fit under the comedy genre...or it could be a mix of drama wit h comedy...angst with comedy...romance, ect. :)
I am honestly not sure when I'll update. However, I'll try to soon!
Read and review. ;)