AN: Okay, so this is the result of watching superbad and eating handfuls of oreo fudges. DO NOT ATTEMPT WHAT I JUST DID! It isn't worth the sugar hangover. Well anyway, this was my drunken ramble that needed to be written down so read it, and send me reviews because I might not remember writing this. Tee-hee!

"AHHH, DUUUDE!" Jiraiya screamed as another shot burned down his throat. Orochimaru stumbled over, Tsunade drunk as hell wrapped around his middle like a spider monkey with her mouth on his. Jiraiya was too smashed to realize what was happening and downed another shot of sake. Orochimaru and Tsunade had moved to the couch and were tearing each other's clothes off. The random motel the three had crashed in after their mission was starting to spin in Jiraiya's mind, everything was blurry and he could have sworn he saw a naked Tsunade sprawled all over a surprisingly good looking naked Orochimaru.

"Shu guys doin it? I wann' some!" Jiraiya cracked as he tripped over his pants (dangling around his ankles) and finally fell to the floor, unnoticed by his friends as they got it on.

"OH, hey waaaaiit! Sto-hic-stop!" Jiraiya the drunk screamed and his teammates gave him the briefest of glances.

"What?" Orochimaru nagged as he unhooked Tsunade's bra and threw it to the floor, his eyes widening when the glorious mounds burst forth from their container and into his face. Tsunade lolled her head back to try and meet Jiraiya's eyes.

"Shut up. You're sooo drunk, don't even talk!" She said like a professional drunk without slurring and turned back to start back up with Orochimaru. Orochimaru picked her up and moved her to the bed, leaning over her and started his little snake up. Jiraiya lay on the floor, watching his long time crush and best friend bump uglies. When the grunts and moans started up, he turned away and crawled on his belly to the next bottle of booze, hoping the burn would wash away the only porn he didn't enjoy. His fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle, he raised it to his lips and drank the whole thing.

"OHHH GOD! O-RO-CHI-MA-RU!" Tsunade gasped between thrusts as the snake sannin pushed on, moaning and roaring like a lion. Jiraiya closed his eyes and reached for another bottle, chuckling when he couldn't find one.

"Oh yeah, you just tap that fine ass and I'll be down here watching. Ohhh, I hope she doesn't get knocked up!" Jiraiya giggled and finally passed out on the ugly shag carpet, his teammates still doing the do.

When the morning came around, Jiraiya found himself in the bathroom, lying half naked in the bathtub, wondering where in the hell his pants went. He went to get up when he felt a mass on his gut, then the silky feel of hair on his bare chest. Jiraiya looked down, his vision blurred and hazy and his onyx eyes strained to see.

"Tsu?" He guessed groggily and the mass stirred.

"Yeah?" Tsunade answered just as gruffly.

"Where's Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked and Tsunade looked around, genuinely trying to answer her friend's question.

"I dunno…" She slurred and fell back on Jiraiya's gut. The two sat in the tub until Jiraiya looked down again.

"Hey, Tsu?" He whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"Where're your pants?" He quizzed and there was silence until Tsunade took a breath.

"I don't know." Tsunade answered truthfully. Jiraiya rolled his head back and rested against the back of the tub, smiling all the way. Orochimaru may have gotten into her pants, but Jiraiya got to go without her pants.

"That's cool."

Okay, pretty cool if I may say so myself. Should I continue this or leave it a one shot? I could go either way, so just hit me up.