"Does this feel wrong?" Elena asks, cradling Damon's cheek. His face crumples. Then his legs.
Elena joins him on his knees, grateful to not have to fight gravity any longer. He looks at her, moving his head from side to side as the thoughts race through his mind.
"I have to do right by you, Elena." He repeats.
"You just said you are the selfish brother. Be the selfish brother Damon. Keep your promise. You said you would never leave me."
Damon searches her face, touches her cheek, tucks a strand of hair back behind her ear, then cradles her face the same way she did earlier.
"At some point Stefan will find that cure, and when he does, you won't have a choice Elena. Klaus will make sure you take it." His hand falls limply from her face. "And then you'll hate me. You will feel… mind-raped. " He falls back onto his buttocks, leaning heavily against the wall. The pain feels like a stake to the gut. "Remember how angry you were at me for compelling you? This is much worst Elena."
She shakes her head, moves to his side and slumps up against the wall. Then she leans her head on his shoulder and locks her head into his arm.
"No, Damon. I was angry that you didn't allow me to choose. I was angry because I didn't ask you to make me forget. Now I am asking you to just let me be happy. With you. "
"Elena….." Elena swings around, putting her fingers on his lips to silence him.
"No, Damon. Stop it. What I feel for you has been there long before I went off that bridge. The sire bond just gave me the courage to be honest and being a vampire being able to… handle… loving you without feeling like you will be the death of me."
"Elena, I don't under…"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're a vampire. You know I couldn't breathe when I'm close to you, you know my heart couldn't even handle you being in the same room with me. Denver scared me the most, because if Jeremy didn't show up when he did….. Being with you scared me, so I chose the safest option."
Damon is searching her eyes, battling to believe that she isn't just saying these things for his benefit. Battling to believe that she isn't just doing what a siree does, to make him happy.
He can see Elena's eyes stretching as she realizes what she just said, and then she bursts into tears.
"I'm horrible. I've never admitted that to anyone. I abandoned you when you needed me most, kept playing with Stefan's emotions knowing that I was just trying to get back the fairy tale that we never really had, and if I didn't wake up from your blood, I, you, we all could've died living in this lie!" her shoulders were shaking as the sobs tore through her, and then she pulls back, gets up and heads to the fireplace, doubling over as Damon's follows.
"Elena…" he puts a hand on her shoulder, but she turns shaking it off.
"I don't deserve you. I'm just like Katherine!"
"That's it!" Damon scares himself with the rage that had suddenly come over him. He grabs her and pins her to the wall next to the fireplace.
"You are nothing like Katherine, and if I have to use this sirebond to get you to finally get that through your head, I will. I never want to hear you say that! Ever! I never want you to even think it ever again!
Elena calms down to a soft whimper. She looks up at him, and again cradles his face, having been reminded of the topic at hand… the elephant in the room he so deftly mentioned just now.
"Becoming human won't make me feel any different about you Damon. You can control my actions, but you can't control my emotions. And I won't hate you for being selfish with me, because if you are, then I can be selfish with you. Please. Don't. leave."
"God, Elena. How am I supposed to say no to you, to this, to us?"
"You're not."
Damon's control is gone. Without another thought, he captures her lips with his, and they both gasp at the intensity of the simple touch.
"I'll never get used to kissing you." He breaths.
"Me neither." And then their lips meet again, but this time they ride out the burn, instead of pulling back with self preservation, they push through, their hands tangling in each other's hair, and Damon's hands exploring the rest of her body. In a flash she pins him against the opposite wall, and get's rid of his shirt. Before she can even think of enjoying the view, he has her pinned on the couch, also shirtless. Seconds later she finds herself in just her underwear on his bed, and him hovering over her as they catch their breath, hoping to calm the hammering of their hearts before putting it back into overdrive.
Again his lips are on hers, then moving down her neck to her collarbone. He hasn't ventured far when she pulls his face back up to hers.
"I'm hungry." She states.
Momentarily confused at the quick turnaround of events, he pulls back a bit.
"Do you want me to fetch you a blood bag?"
"No." she shakes her head, then pushes herself up to his face, melding her lips to his, teasing his tongue with her own, and then nibbling his bottom lip, first making him moan and then making him growl as he feels a sharp sting, tasting his own blood. Elena pulls back just enough to be able to speak.
"Damon, I'm hungry."
He has stopped breathing all together as he pulls her face back to his, offering her himself. He feels dizzy with the sensation as she sucks gently, roaming his back with her hands. This is much more intense than the last time she fed from him, mainly because this time he isn't trying to hide the affect, hanging onto whatever shred of control he has.
Not able to bare it any longer, he pins her to the bed, and gets rid of the offending pieces of cloth still covering the rest of her skin from his gaze and smirks as she flips them over, pulling down his jeans, hearing a sharp ting as the button bounces somewhere in the room, she straddles his warm hips, kissing his torso, moving up. By the time she reaches his face, he flips them over again, and enters her. Foreplay can wait until morning, right now, he needs to make love to her, possess her, consume her.
Their movements get more frantic, the sensations more intense, the vampiric feeling of being touched all over, all at once gets to be almost too much, and Elena know that she won't be able to hold on much longer, she pulls his face closer to whisper in his ear.
"Bite me."
And he does. Elena gasps. And then it is all too much. The wave crests and she has to let go as everything shatters and her body burns all over, her head going blank and her body convulsing, sending him over the edge he was trying so hard to hold onto. In the distance Elena hears a sharp pitched scream, only half recognizing that she is the one making that sound, and then hear Damon chanting her name as he comes down from his high.
For several minutes they lay spent, him blanketing her, her mind slowly starting to function.
"Damon?"
"Mmm?" he lifts his head to look at her, his eyelids heavy over those blue orbs.
"Now I'm really hungry." Elena states. Damon laughs.
"Now do you want me to get you a bloodbag?"
Elena just smiles, touching his face in wonder.
"This is what you must've looked like as a young boy, happy and carefree."
"Elena…"
"I wasn't trying to make you happy, Damon." She scolds, "I was looking after my own needs first. You being happy is just a lucky coincidence."
/