The Day Magneto Went Temporarily Insane
Summery: This one has a moral. It may seem sickly juvenile at first, but it has a purpose and a message. And it's kind of funny, in a sick way, when you get to the end. Read to the end, please.
One summer day, Magneto woke up and decided to rape someone. So he went to visit the X-Men. First he tried to rape Kitty, but she said "like, eeewww" and phased through his grip.
Next, he tried to rape Kurt, but Kurt shouted "No way man!" and teleported in a puff of smoke. Magneto didn't like smoke.
Getting annoyed, Magneto sought out someone else, ran across Multiple, and decided that no one was that desperate.
He left when Rogue wandered into the room. No one was that suicidal.
So Magneto went to the Brotherhood house. He found Toad on the couch, thought about it, and came to the conclusion that it would be best to send Toad a bar of soap first. No good.
Magneto made his way into Lance's room, and tried to rape him. Lance, of course, sent a tremor of substantial proportion in Magneto's direction. Magneto decided that he didn't like getting knocked on his ass. Better try someone else.
He made a grab for Pietro, but Pietro ran away before the thought had even fully formed in his mind. It was probably for the best.
Then Magneto saw Wanda out of the corner of his eye. No. That was even more dangerous then Rogue.
Finally, Magneto decided that he wasn't really cut out to be a rapist. Maybe he should just stick with trying to take over the world. The end.
And the moral of this little story? Magneto is not a rapist- he's violent at times, and misguided in his quest for mutant utopia to be sure, but the man is clearly not one to waste his precious energy trying to rape his children and other mutants. It's just not his style. So could we please refrain from writing stories where he rapes people? Let's keep our fan fiction plausible, m'kay?
Furthermore, see how well the other mutant's abilities keep them from being the victim of rape? It would be pretty hard to rape a speed demon like Pietro, a phaser like Kitty, a teleporter like Kurt, or any of the others. No rapist in the world would look at people like Scott or Lance and think "Fresh meat". Rapists like easy prey.
So what do you say? Let's refrain from the implausible rape fics for a while, all right?
BTW, I placed this under angst because I want the angst people to read this. After all, no one rapes for humor.
PS. Jean is really pissed at you guys because no one ever tries to rape her.
Summery: This one has a moral. It may seem sickly juvenile at first, but it has a purpose and a message. And it's kind of funny, in a sick way, when you get to the end. Read to the end, please.
One summer day, Magneto woke up and decided to rape someone. So he went to visit the X-Men. First he tried to rape Kitty, but she said "like, eeewww" and phased through his grip.
Next, he tried to rape Kurt, but Kurt shouted "No way man!" and teleported in a puff of smoke. Magneto didn't like smoke.
Getting annoyed, Magneto sought out someone else, ran across Multiple, and decided that no one was that desperate.
He left when Rogue wandered into the room. No one was that suicidal.
So Magneto went to the Brotherhood house. He found Toad on the couch, thought about it, and came to the conclusion that it would be best to send Toad a bar of soap first. No good.
Magneto made his way into Lance's room, and tried to rape him. Lance, of course, sent a tremor of substantial proportion in Magneto's direction. Magneto decided that he didn't like getting knocked on his ass. Better try someone else.
He made a grab for Pietro, but Pietro ran away before the thought had even fully formed in his mind. It was probably for the best.
Then Magneto saw Wanda out of the corner of his eye. No. That was even more dangerous then Rogue.
Finally, Magneto decided that he wasn't really cut out to be a rapist. Maybe he should just stick with trying to take over the world. The end.
And the moral of this little story? Magneto is not a rapist- he's violent at times, and misguided in his quest for mutant utopia to be sure, but the man is clearly not one to waste his precious energy trying to rape his children and other mutants. It's just not his style. So could we please refrain from writing stories where he rapes people? Let's keep our fan fiction plausible, m'kay?
Furthermore, see how well the other mutant's abilities keep them from being the victim of rape? It would be pretty hard to rape a speed demon like Pietro, a phaser like Kitty, a teleporter like Kurt, or any of the others. No rapist in the world would look at people like Scott or Lance and think "Fresh meat". Rapists like easy prey.
So what do you say? Let's refrain from the implausible rape fics for a while, all right?
BTW, I placed this under angst because I want the angst people to read this. After all, no one rapes for humor.
PS. Jean is really pissed at you guys because no one ever tries to rape her.