Author's Note: Drunken Marauders... What else could anyone want?
Warning: Small mentions of slash. (Same sex relationships.)
Why I Love You
by Lady Stone
"I've got it!" Siruis Black exclaimed excitedly after closing the dorm door behind him. He grinned wickedly at his fellow Marauders as they all turned around slowly, and curiously.
It was sixth year and the Marauders had just returned to their dormitory after the annual Halloween Feast in the Great Hall. Glowing pumpkins had been floating easily around the Hall's ceiling, or they were until a certain group of four had made half of the pumpkins explode, sending chunks of orange throughout the Hall.
Remus Lupin was now wiping pumpkin off of his trousers, and raising an eyebrow in the direction of Sirius. "Padfoot, what on earth are you talking about? What have you got?"
James Potter plopped down onto his four-poster and looked over at Sirius happily through his hazel eyes. "Not a brain, that's for sure." He grinned and caught the pillow that Sirius had chucked roughly at him. "James Potter, excellent Chaser; one. Sirius Black, complete baboon; zero."
Sirius glared at him, but then turned his attention back to Remus. "I packed some alcohol from my father's cabinet in my trunk." He grinned crazily.
Remus blinked, and then he finally comprehended what Sirius had just said. He stuck his tongue out partially and shook his head. "What kind of alcohol, Pads?" Remus asked timidly after exchanging a worried glance with Peter Pettigrew, who was folding back his bed comforter neatly.
Sirius skipped happily over to his trunk, and opened it. Revealing messy piles of clothes, and random papers sticking out every which way. He shoved his hand into the trunk, and rummaged around for a bit. His face was in utter concentration and finally a grin spread across it. "Got it!" With that, Sirius pulled out a glass bottle with dark liquid being contained within. He held it up for the three Marauders to see. "I have no bloody idea. Can't read the label."
Remus went to interject, but then his eyes widened in shock as he saw James tackle Sirius to the ground and grab the bottle. Remus wondered vaguely if that could have been funnier in slow motion.
"Me first!" James smiled and twisted the top off. Peter watched him worriedly, obviously thinking it was not such a good idea.
Sirius watched as James took a painfully long sip from the glass bottle. James' face turned into a strong grimace as he swallowed the liquid with quite some difficulty. "Ugh! That's HORRIBLE, Padfoot!" He gagged and shoved the bottle into Sirius' hands.
Sirius grinned evilly as he turned to Remus. "Moony, your turn..." His eyes shown brightly with extreme mirth; white teeth glinting.
"Erm... Thanks, but no thanks." Remus put up his hands in front of his face as though they were some sort of protective shield. He looked over at Peter miserably. Peter shrugged and frowned sadly, shaking his head.
Sirius dropped the bottle back down to his side as his eyes grew wide while he pouted. "Moon-y!" Sirius whined pathetically. Remus closed his eyes quickly, trying to avoid looking at Sirius' pout. He knew that face could trick anyone into anything.
"No." Remus said firmly, he dropped his hands and turned on his heel; finally opening his eyes as he headed over to his four-poster. "I think I'll just get some shut eye." He nodded to himself.
"With them drunk, I don't that's an option, Moony." Peter noted sadly, shaking his head as he too fell onto his four-poster.
"Well, I'll read then." Remus confirmed as he reached over to grab a book on his night stand, and settled down into his nice, fluffy pillow.
Sirius rolled his eyes annoyingly, "You guys are complete dolts." With that, Sirius threw his head back and downed nearly half the bottle. When he emerged a few moments later, his face was bright red. He swallowed, and stuck his tongue out. "Horrible, horrible stuff!" He shook his head. "Want some more, Jim?"
James looked up from his spot on the floor, "Sure!" He grabbed the bottle back, swallowed quite a bit and spoke, "Ugh, Padfoot, I really think that's enough for right now. I'm starting to feel a tad dizzy." He blinked and fell over on his side, bottle still in hand. "I-" He began and then started giggling for no apparent reason.
Sirius snorted and then a fit of giggles erupted inside him, he fell to the ground clutching his stomach. This made James laugh even more as he rolled over.
Their giggled continued on for quite some time. Remus looked over at Peter and shook his head. "They're completely mad, I tell you." Peter nodded and watched Remus look back down at his book that was sitting comfortably in his lap.
Peter turned his attention back to the two boys rolling around on the floor. He let out a small laugh as a smile crossed his face.
Sirius' giggling had toned down to now a mere hiccup of a chortle. He lolled his head in James' direction. "Jim, I feel fantastic."
"Me too." James grinned maniacally. "You guys have to try this!" James looked up at Peter and Remus, holding the bottle up in the air for them to see.
Peter bit his lip in frustration, and finally let in. "S-sure." He stuttered and walked over to James, grabbing the bottle from his grasp. With a last longing look into the bottle, Peter poured the remaining contents into the back of his throat. He coughed violently and stumbled slightly. "Woah."
Remus rolled his eyes from where he was watching. "I hope none of you go unconscious. Because if you stop breathing, I certainly won't be the one to go fetch Poppy." He spoke sternly.
"Aww. Moony's upset because there's not enough liquor for him!" Proclaimed Padfoot from his position on the floor. With that he pushed himself up and stumbled over to Remus' four-poster. He sat down on the edge, looking at Remus pathetically.
"No, Moony's upset because his friends are completely off their rockers." Remus growled. Burying his face back into his book for a while before looking back up again. "You should know better than to drink unidentified alcoholic beverages!"
"No, we shouldn't." James giggled, which sent Peter into a loud giggling fit from where he had dropped down onto the floor.
Sirius laid down on his side on Remus' bed, looking up at him soundlessly.
After Peter had quieted down, it was silent in the room for about twenty minutes. Remus frowned and looked over his book at his friends worriedly. "You guys aren't dead, are you?" He spoke quietly, worry etched into his face.
"I love you, Moony." Sirius grinned up at him.
"Thanks, Pads." Remus rolled his eyes, and looked back at his book once he realized all three were quite alive.
"I love you too, Moony." James chirped in eagerly.
"Me too!" Peter giggled absentmindedly.
"Uh-huh." Remus murmured, trying to concentrate on his book and failing miserably. He didn't seem to be able to get Sirius' words out of his head. Remus felt an ache in the pit of his stomach; oh, how he wished Sirius were sober and really meant those words.
Sirius spoke loudly, "I love you, Jim!"
"I love you too, Siri!" James gurgled and let out a small giggle.
"I love you too, Pete." Sirius added with a bout of uncontrollable laughter.
The other two drunken Marauders joined in on the laughter within a few seconds.
"I love you like a pancake, Moony!" Sirius said between the giggles.
Remus snorted and turned his book page. He remained silent, wishing Sirius would just stop talking. Remus looked over at him, laying on his back down, grinning wickedly at Remus. Sirius' shoulder length black hair was beginning to fall out of it's tie and into his face, framing his intense gray eyes. Remus moaned in the back of his mind.
The giggling became louder all of a sudden.
"I love you, Moony." James spoke again.
Remus thought it'd be better to keep James talking, which meant no giggling and it also meant Sirius wasn't talking. "Really now? Why do you love me?" Remus waited for an answer.
"Because you're Moony. You're a Marauder, and I love you." James said pointlessly and grinned into thin air.
Remus laughed. "James, you sure can be sensitive when you're hopelessly drunk. Perhaps you should talk to Lily Evans when you're drunk, rather than sober. You might actually say something intelligent." He chuckled quietly.
"I love you because you let me have your Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and you help me with my homework." Peter suggested and Remus frowned.
"I don't let you have my Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans... You take them from my bag!" Remus exclaimed.
"Well... You know I take them, and you let me." Peter added.
Remus was silent and sighed. "I suppose. Well, how about you Padfoot? Why do you l-love... Why do you love me?" Remus swallowed and set his book down in his lap. He looked down at Sirius, he had closed his eyes and seemed to be thinking.
He spoke finally, "Because I do. I care about you and... I really love you."
Remus was completely shocked. He felt his heart speed up and his eyes get big. But then, Sirius completely ruined the moment when he burst into another fit of drunken giggles.
Remus painfully rolled his eyes, grabbing his book once more. "You're all insane." He shook his head.
"No, we're not!" James said stubbornly and hiccuped.
"Just Sirius!" Peter grinned crazily.
"I'm insanely in love with yoooouuu!" Sirius sang off-key and grabbed Remus' foot. Remus peered over his book, seeing Sirius hugging his foot.
Remus then found himself laughing at his friends, "I love you guys too."
"YAY! Moony loves us!" James chirped.
"I love you, Moony!" Peter insisted once more.
Sirius gurgled, "I love him more!"
"Do not!" James interrupted.
"Do too!" Sirius said smugly. "I could just snog him right here and now!"
Remus forced himself to let out a stiff laugh. When, in the back of his mind he was thinking, 'And I'd let you.'
Remus then heard Peter snore, and looked over at the boy. He was obviously in a deep slumber, considering there was a trail of drool going from his lips to the burgundy rug.
James rubbed his eyes. "I'm awfully tired." He yawned and after letting out a short giggle, he too fell asleep.
Soon enough, Sirius was about to pass out, but before he did, "I really do love you, Moony. More than a friend..."
He was out. Remus looked at him in shock and frowned once more, he felt like he was going to cry. He sighed and looked around the room, seeing the empty bottle of liquor, Remus decided to retrieve it before the House Elves found it and showed it to a teacher.
As Remus exited his bed and picked up the bottle, he looked at the label quickly. Seeing it was written in Latin and Remus had been taking Latin classes for years, he attempted to read it. After a few moments of pondering, Remus figured out exactly what it said.
Caster's Alcohol
An easy way to trick your friends into telling the truth!
Ingredients: Liquor, Veritaserum
Remus eyes widened. He was completely shell-shocked as he looked over at Sirius, sleeping on his bed. "I really do love you, Moony. More than a friend..." Remus gulped. That's exactly what he said. He wasn't lying, Remus knew Veritaserum wouldn't let him.
Remus felt odd, and then a feeling of superb happiness swept over him. A grin fell across his face as he walked over to Sirius, dropping the empty alcohol bottle on top of his night stand. He looked down at Sirius, he seemed simply beautiful. Remus leaned down next to his ear, and whispered lightly. "I love you too, Pads."
Sirius mumbled something very drunken in his sleep and Remus chuckled, laying down next to him.
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Author's Note: Short and stupid. I know. Just a one-shot, remember?
Check out my other MWPP humor fic: Stuck in Idiotville