Cat Got Your Tongue?
Meulin purred contentedly in her sleep, stretching her limbs before cuddling up to her matesprite's side. Her brow ruffled as she realized that something wasn't right. Opening her cat- like eyes, she gazed sleepily up at him. The sweat on his face and chest glistened in the moonlight. He was whimpering, just the word "no" repeated as he twisted and writhed in his sleep. Meulin bit her lip. She didn't want to wake him up, but she hated when he had nightmares. She got up and got a cold, wet cloth from the bathroom and wiped his chest and face free of sweat. Meulin got back in bed and put her head on his chest, rubbing soothing patterns on his torso as she hummed in an attempt to calm him down. His heartbeat was pumping faster and faster, it felt like it would burst out of his chest. He was still shaking and writhing, more so now.
"K-Kurloz?" she mewed quietly. He didn't respond. "Kurloz, can you hear me? Kurloz, please, wake up," she pleaded, shaking his shoulder lightly. His whimpers grew louder and louder and turned into groans, making it sound like he was in physical pain. A knot in Meulin's throat formed as she tried desperately to shake him awake. "Kur, please, you gotta wake up. Kurloz!" She was practically yelling now.
Then the screaming started.
Without warning, Kurloz sat straight up, his eyes wide and wild, his messy hair matted and sticking to the side of his face. He was screaming. Oh god, his screaming. It was inhuman, a sound that no creature living or dead ever could have produced. Meulin covered her ears with a cry, her eardrums popping under the pressure of the noise coming from his lips.
"Kurloz, Kurloz PLEASE! IT HURTS, KURLOZ! WAKE UP, IT HURTS!" she shouted, trying to reach him through the scream tearing through his lips. Meulin couldn't even hear herself over him. She backed away and fell off the bed, bruising her hip and elbow. She took no notice however, and continued to back away until her back hit the wall and she couldn't go any further. The screaming wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop. Tears poured from her eyes as her head pounded. There was something warm and wet between her fingers, but she dared not take her hand away from her ear. She just huddled up tighter in her corner and waited for it to end. But it wouldn't. It just went on forever. She pleaded for silence for what seemed like hours, but when the silence finally came, she was caught off guard. There was nothing. No sound, not screaming nor panting, nor footsteps on the floor. Just utter silence. Meulin couldn't will herself to look up at her lover; she just kept her head down as she continued to sob. It hurt so much; the screaming was over, why did her ears still hurt?
Panting heavily, Kurloz wiped the sweat from his eyes and looked at the empty space next to him where his matesprite should be.
"Meu?" he whispered, his heart still pounding in his chest. Then he saw her. "Oh shit," he whispered, leaping off the bed and crawling towards her. Without a word he wrapped his arms around her shaking body and pulled her towards him, rocking them back and forth. She pressed into him, still not taking her hands away from her ears, her sobs shaking them both.
"Shhh, it's okay, it's over, I'm sorry Meu. I'm so, so sorry Meu. It's okay, shh," he repeated quietly, trying to soothe her. Meulin slowly calmed down after a while, the comfort of his warm arms around her making her feel safe. Tears were still leaking silently from her eyes when she realized that Kurloz had been talking. She could feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest, but she couldn't hear him. Meulin looked up at him. His lips were moving; she could tell he was asking if she was okay. No sound was coming out.
"K-Kurloz? Kurloz, why can't I hear anything? Kurloz?" her voice grew steadily louder as his eyes grew steadily larger. Slowly and gently, Kurloz took her hands away from her ears. Olive green blood was seeping through her fingers, on her palms, and down her cheeks.
"Oh shit…" Kurloz whispered, his eyes wide with panic. Meulin's breath hitched in her throat as she realized that her eardrums had burst. She was deaf. Would it last forever? Could she ever hear his voice again? Sobs of panic made their way back up her throat as she looked at her bloodied grey and green hands. Tears streamed down Kurloz' cheeks as he realized what he had done. It was all his fault. Meulin was deaf and it was his motherfucking fault.
"I'm so sorry, Meu, I'm so sorry, oh fuck I'm sorry," he apologized over and over, knowing that she couldn't hear him. He pulled her close to him again, petting her hair soothingly.
"It's okay, Kurloz, it's okay. It wasn't your fault. It's okay." She murmured after her sobs had quieted. Kurloz shook his head, tears still leaking from his eyes. It was entirely his fault. It wasn't okay. He hurt her. He motherfucking hurt her.
"I'm so sorry, Meu…" he whispered again. Kurloz took her arms and wrapped them around his neck before picking her up, one hand under her knees and the other supporting her back. She curled into him, pressing her head onto his chest. He carried her to the bathroom and gently set her down on the counter. Filling the sink with warm water, he dipped a washcloth into the bowl and gently wiped the dried blood off her hands, careful not to be too rough and hurt her. Once her hands were clean and the water in the sink was a light olive color, he moved onto her cheeks and neck. Her eyelids were half closed with exhaustion, and the warm cloth in his gentle hands felt good on her sore throat and face. Kurloz was careful not to look her in the eye. In his head, all he could hear was her sobbing. After gently cleaning her ears, he picked her up again and laid her down in bed. Through her half closed eyes, she saw him say the words "I'm so sorry, Meulin. I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered before she fell asleep. Kurloz sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands for a long time. Getting up slowly so she wouldn't wake up, he made his way to the bathroom and quietly shut the door. He stared at himself in the mirror with disgust before vomiting violently into the toilet at the sight of Meulin's olive blood still in the sink. Kurloz grimaced and quickly brushed his teeth to get the taste out of his mouth. He spat into the bloody sink and looked at his reflection in the mirror again as he wiped his lips. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do. It made perfect sense. If Meulin couldn't hear, then Kurloz wouldn't speak.
Kurloz threw open the cabinet quickly and rummaged through until he found what he was looking for. With shaking hands he pushed the thick black thread through the loop in the needle and tied the end. Adrenaline thundered through his veins like an injected drug. Leaning across the counter to get a better look at his lips in the mirror, he gingerly pressed the tip of the needle against the right side of his lower lip, then brought it back when it started to hurt. He hadn't even pierced the skin. Gripping the needle tightly in his sweaty hands and furrowing his eyebrows in determination, he brought the needle back to his lip. As quickly and cleanly as possible, he shoved the needle through his lower lip. It took every ounce of will in his being not to scream so loudly all of Alternia could hear. He couldn't hold back a small scream of pain though, and he quickly caught himself and bit down on his tongue hard to stop himself, hard enough to make it bleed. Inhaling and exhaling shakily, he slowly straightened up and wiped the purple tears from his eyes. Again, as quickly and cleanly as possible, he shoved the needle through his top lip parallel to the insertion in his bottom one. He groaned again and bit at the same spot on his tongue, swallowing the blood pooling in his mouth.
And so it continued like this. Royal purple blood dripped from his chin and into the sink to mix with the olive-green blood of his lover, creating a murky brown sort of color. Blood spattered the counter and the grey skin of the troll leaking it. By the time the needle pierced the last spot on his lower lip, Kurloz could barely feel his lips, nor could he taste his blood. With blank, unseeing eyes and shaking hands, he tightened the thread and sealed his lips forever.
Meulin inhaled slowly as her eyes began to flutter open. Reaching her arm out to feel for her matesprite, she yawned like a cat and looked toward the opposite side of the bed to see ruffled sheets but no Kurloz. All of the Leo's drowsiness disappeared when she realized he was nowhere to be seen. "KURLOZ?" she called louder than she meant to. She got out of bed and slowly padded toward the door to the bathroom, which was closed. The light was on, so he must be in there. But hadn't he heard her shout? Why didn't he come out? She placed her hand on the handle and slowly, quietly pushed down until the lock gave way and the door creaked open a crack.
"KURLOZ, ARE YOU IN THERE?" again, a little louder than expected, but she couldn't have known that. Slowly she opened the door until she could see inside. Then she saw him. Kurloz's body was splayed out on the floor as if he had passed out on the spot. He was on the tiles with his back against the wall, legs spread in all directions, arms limp, and head lolling to the side. Blood was everywhere. Meulin didn't even realize she had been screaming until her throat grew hoarse. She hurried to his side and desperately tried to rouse him.
"KURLOZ, WAKE UP, PLEASE! KURLOZ, OH SHIT, COME ON! KUR, PLEASE!" she pleaded, volume intentional this time, over and over again, shaking his limp body. He was alive, she could tell from his pulse. He just wouldn't wake up. Meulin sat back and took a moment to regain her breath. What had he done? Was this because of her? Why would he do this to himself? She stood up and got a washcloth from the cupboard and went to the sink to wet it with warm water. She retched at the sight of the murky brown blood in the sink and had to cover her mouth to keep from vomiting. With a shaking hand, she closed her eyes as she plunged it into the sink to pull the plug on the drain. She quickly ran her hand under the water to wash off the mixture of their blood. Taking deep breaths to steady her rapidly beating heart, she soaked the cloth in warm water before kneeling by Kurloz's sleeping body. Slowly and gently she set to work on his hands, wiping and scrubbing his fingernails. Carefully she took off his tee shirt and wiped at his chest and neck. Meulin washed the cloth again before bringing it to his face. Saving the lips for last, she gently washed his cheeks and chin before dabbing lightly at his lips. Now thankful for his slumber, she finished it off with some rubbing alcohol to prevent infection. Meulin picked up his slim frame and stumbled with shaking legs and lead arms to the bedroom, tucking him into bed. Without allowing herself to look at him for fear of breaking down and sobbing, she turned on her heel and scrubbed the bathroom tile by tile until there wasn't a trace of blood to be seen, purple or otherwise. The only hint of purple was under her fingernails, but she couldn't help that much. Meulin slowly walked back into the bedroom. Lifting her eyes slowly, she took in the sight of her matesprite still sleeping on the bed. His hair was matted and sticking out wildly, but his breathing was steady. The bags under his eyes were enormous, and his skin was an unhealthily pale shade of gray. Olive tears streamed down Meulin's cheeks and neck as she stumbled to the opposite side of the bed. She collapsed down, legs hanging off the side, back to Kurloz, head in her hands and shoulders slumped in defeat. She doesn't know how long she stayed like that, just crying. She didn't hear Kurloz turn his head to look at her, or hear him wince as he felt his sewn, cracked lips. She suddenly felt warm, strong arms wrap around her waist. A gasp escaped her lips. Spinning around quickly, her yellow, tear filled eyes met his. His face was contorted in such an expression of pain, but not physical pain. If anyone else had looked at him, they couldn't even tell how much pain he was in. Only Meulin could see the silent screams behind his wide eyes. His emotional and mental pain was written on his face like a novel in a language only Meulin could decipher, and it just made her cry harder. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him into a tight embrace.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF, KURLOZ? WHY? PLEASE, PLEASE TAKE THEM OUT! I'M SORRY KUR, I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE-"
Kurloz stopped rocking her body and petting her hair to make her look at him. Why was she apologizing? This was his fault. He made her deaf. He had to suffer. This was his decision. He looked at her sternly before shaking his head and reaching behind him to get a pad of paper and pen. Quickly he scrawled the words, "If YoU cAn'T hEaR, i hAvE nO rEaSoN tO sPeAk. ThIs Is My DeCiSiOn. It'S nOt YoUr FaUlT. I lOvE yOu."
He turned around the paper so she could read the words. Her eyes scanned the paper quickly, and then looked back up at him.
"I LOVE YOU TOO," she sobbed. Resting her head on his chest, she closed her eyes and waited for her breathing to return to normal. Kurloz just held her, silent purple tears streaming down his cheeks.