All the Different Places We've Kissed
Kyle breathed in hard, trying to keep himself under control. Oliver was the most frustrating person he'd ever met in his life. Once that stubborn lug set his mind to something, it was like arguing with an immovable tank; there was no convincing him otherwise, no compromise, no working around it, no getting through that thick skull of his.
And that was really, really cramping Kyle's style right about now.
"Y'know, I think you've worked over the neck pretty thoroughly," he said to the top of Oliver's head, running his fingers up behind Oliver's ears, through his hair, as he tried to bring that energetic mouth back up to his own. "I wanna kiss you now."
"Nm um," Oliver murmured into his skin, his lips continuing their obstinate sucking-attack on that sensitive patch of skin just above Kyle's collarbone.
"Fine."
Kyle shifted his hips, playfully rubbing his jeans against Oliver's. The way that simple action made Oliver's face tremble against his neck was... fascinating. So, like any conscientious experimenter, he did it once more, just to make sure it wasn't an aberrant result. Oliver shuddered again, and though Kyle could probably claim a definitive conclusion to his little test, he felt it best to err on the side of caution and take a few more stabs at it. Just to be thorough.
Oliver moaned and finally brought his lips back to Kyle's, crashing into him hungrily.
They'd been doing this for a few weeks now, ever since that pretty awesome, totally-not-lame dance party at the frat where Oliver, drunk and fired up, practically pissed all over Kyle in an incredibly hot display of possessiveness and jealousy.
Or, "Best Night Ever," as Kyle liked to call it.
Kyle had been worried—no, straight-up freaked out—that things would be uncomfortable between them after that night, the normal social boundaries that had previously been erected all blurred and indistinguishable. He expected Oliver to run for the hills, or pretend it was all a drunken hazing ritual, or call it a mistake.
But, to his massive astonishment, things had just sort of... settled nicely. Starting their little thing off with a bang, almost-but-not-quite literally, had worked wonders on them both. All of the pent up sexual tension had been released, and the only thing left was to feel absolutely charged with excitement and happiness in each others' company. Oliver wasn't nearly so nervous when he hung out with him anymore, and he stopped acting like Kyle was a venomous snake he had to tiptoe around.
Once they'd crossed that line, Oliver's whole being had relaxed, and they were able to just be together and... be.
Not to mention all the making out. In dorm rooms. In storage closets. In the basement of the maps library. Behind the computer science building, where the architecture dipped and swooped, creating little pockets of privacy. No one they knew had caught them out yet, but the reference librarian did give them a stern look when they emerged from the stairwell after causing a bit of a ruckus. Oliver had the stricken look of a man diagnosed with a fatal disease, but once they were out of the library, the look had faded, the sunlight returning to his eyes as the sun itself peeked out from the clouds. Smiling once more, he had pulled Kyle behind a large pillar and kissed him goodbye before heading off to his programming class.
Everything about Oliver, after that dance party, just seemed... lighter. He was practically floating, like Kyle was his drug of choice and he never wanted to come down from that feeling.
Though PDAs were still totally out of the question. Oliver was a naturally shy guy, and obviously not yet wanting to come out of the closet, but Kyle was willing to give him the time he needed. He'd wait. Waiting wouldn't be too difficult if Oliver kept insisting on accosting him in dark corners and locked rooms, setting little fires in all of Kyle's cells and letting them burn until Kyle felt the need to douse himself in ice cold water.
It had all been something of a surprise, to couch it in the most obvious terms. Part of him had just assumed that Oliver drunk was a different creature altogether than Oliver sober, but that hadn't been the case at all. There were slight alterations, to be sure, but he wasn't dealing with multiple personalities here, or anything.
Sober-Oliver was sweeter, less aggressive, a snuggly kitty in place of the man-eating tiger, really fucking caring and gorgeous and all sorts of other words that were escaping him right now because he had all of that purring gorgeousness on top of him, in his dorm, on the floor, because the bed had just been too far away from his desk where they'd been trying to study together for their Calc III midterm before they decided that studying wasn't the best use of their time any longer.
Still, the guy could be frustrating.
Like now, as he slowly pulled away from Kyle, raising himself to his knees and shoving a hand in his pocket as he sat on his heels.
"What's up?" Kyle asked.
"We should, you know..." He gestured toward their open calculus textbooks with his free hand.
Kyle wiggled his eyebrows. "Make out on the desk?"
Oliver dipped his head as a crimson blush burned across his cheeks like wildfire, but Kyle saw the sneaky little grin there that let him know it wasn't the worst idea he'd ever had and that maybe, soon, they'd go ahead and give it a whirl—when they didn't have thirty-three percent of their grade riding on the line.
"Okay, okay. We can study," Kyle said with a exaggerated sigh. "I guess. Those vectors aren't gonna learn themselves, huh?"
He sat up and patted Oliver on the shoulder, which finally got the guy to lift his face and smile outright.
"Plus," Kyle added, "We need to get this done before we do that other thing tonight."
Oliver's gulp was comically loud. "Do we have to?"
"If you wanna stay in the frat? Yeah. Otherwise..." He blew a raspberry and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Kaput."
At that prospect, Oliver uttered a noise that could've been mistaken for a baby sea lion choking on mackerel. And Kyle just wanted to lick his fucking adorable face right off. He hated to use the word smitten, but when nothing more appropriate could be gleaned from his brain's vocabulary stores, he just gave in and went with it.
He was smitten with the big oaf.
Oliver stood and began pacing the room, twitching like a faulty neon sign. Kyle slowly approached him and placed his hand on Oliver's forearm.
"Hey, calm down, Ollie." He raised the hand to Oliver's cheek. Oliver sucked in a quick breath, but his shoulders relaxed, his beady eyes softened. "I know you don't wanna do it. But nothing bad's gonna happen tonight."
"You promise?"
Kyle leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on Oliver's tense mouth. "Yeah. I promise. I'll look after you."
Oliver smiled into his kiss then, and they forgot about vector calculus for a little while longer.
"This is so juvenile."
"C'mon, Kyle," Danny Esterberger, another freshman pledge, said with a snicker. "We all figured you'd like this prank. More than the rest of us, anyway." He finished strapping a foot-long, plastic blow-up penis onto one of the eagle statues at the center of campus. Kyle and Oliver were working on the same maneuver with the eagle on the right, while Joe Stein and Brian Ho painted obscene words on the commemorative plaques underneath.
"Yeah, don't get too excited, dude," Brian said, waving the rounded end of his thick paint brush in Kyle's direction.
Kyle smirked. "You guys are hilarious. Really. But consider me unimpressed." He sniffed and flicked his thumb against his nose. "I've seen bigger. Tons of times."
A chorus of hushed "ewws!" and uncomfortable twitters followed and Kyle watched with evil pleasure as his hetero friends dealt with their own insecurities. He didn't look at Oliver, but he could feel the heat of the blush coming off him like tendrils of flame licking at dry brush. He turned to him, hoping his goofy smile and roll of the eyes would convey the silent message, "No, that's not true; you're it for me, there hasn't been anyone else..." But Oliver refused to look at him. His gaze was distant, narrowing at first, and then widening so abruptly that it made Kyle's heart skip with fear.
"What's—" he started, before Oliver shoved his sweaty palm over Kyle's mouth.
"Cops," Oliver whispered into his ear. "Run!"
Kyle swung his head in direction of Oliver's stare and saw the campus police cruiser rolling slowly onto the grass from the road.
"Follow me!" He let the giant red penis fall from his grip and float to the ground, then grabbed Oliver around the bicep and started hiking it toward the biological sciences complex as fast as he could. It wasn't the closest building on hand, but it was the best place he knew for eluding. Behind him, he could hear Oliver panting hard, and further back the sounds of the other guys cursing and scrambling.
"Oh God, oh God, ohgodohgodohgod."
Oliver was freaking out, and it was slowing them down. Kyle tugged on his coat sleeve.
"C'mon, faster!" The wind whipped across his cheeks, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins made him want to whoop and jump, but apparently Oliver wasn't sharing his sense of excitement and danger.
Turning swiftly, he jogged toward the entrance of the biological sciences building and swung open the heavy doors, dragging Oliver right along with him. Never was he more appreciative of the university's open-door policy.
"We didn't lose 'em yet," Oliver said, gasping for breath.
"We will, stop worrying." He skirted down the hall, biting his lip, pondering which lab would give them the most cover. "Hey, c'mere. And keep your face to me, all right. Don't turn around."
"Why—why not?"
"I don't think the security camera's actually connected to anything, but I'd rather not find out, would you?"
Oliver threw his arm over his face in a feeble attempt at concealment and jogged over to Kyle. For half a moment, they stared at the closed lab door together. A small sign read, "Locked on evenings, weekends, and holidays," but that didn't deter Kyle. His fingers worked quickly as he entered a code from memory into the omnilock system. A green light flashed and the handle turned under the pressure of his fingers.
"Bingo!" He slipped inside, pulling a limp and heavy Oliver with him. "Get in the corner." He shoved Oliver against the wall, angling him so that someone peering into the small window would lose them in the blind spot. The lab was dark, but seemed to have a slight greenish glow, reflecting off Oliver's tense face, highlighting the luminescence of his frightened, caged-animal eyes.
Gripping Oliver around the sides, Kyle realized he was flush against him, in a dark, locked room, both of them breathing hard, the adrenaline pumping through his veins, making his insides howl. His mind flashed on the dance party, on slamming Oliver against the door... ripping open his shirt... moving against him... hearing those animalistic groans...
He inhaled sharply and the action pressed his chest closer to Oliver's, sliding up and slowly dragging back down with the exhale. Oliver inhaled his own deep breath at the contact. Unconsciously, Kyle's hips followed his chest's lead and rolled into Oliver's groin.
"Kyle." It came out as a squeak, bordering on a whimper.
Kyle cupped Oliver's face with both hands. "I know. I'm sorry. I just... couldn't help myself," he whispered.
Swallowing hard, Oliver leaned his forehead onto Kyle's. His fingers, tense like flesh-covered cables, ran up and down Kyle's arms, while he struggled to breathe normally.
"Kyle, if we get caught—"
"We won't." Kyle gently stroked his face. "Keep still."
Oliver's look said quite clearly how impossible that was gonna be if Kyle kept up his unintentional below-the-belt activities.
"I'll keep still, too."
"Kyle, I don't want—" Oliver stopped mid-breath, shivering in the dark.
"You don't want... what?" Kyle kept his tone soft, soothing, combating the waves of fear that surged off the rolling surf of Oliver's body with reassuring vibes of his own. Oliver seemed to relax... just barely. His muscles still felt like snakes waiting to spring out of a basket, but his eyes lost their wild gleam as he pulled Kyle closer to his body. Taking advantage of this new proximity, Kyle nestled his head into the crook of Oliver's neck.
"I don't wanna get kicked out," Oliver finally said, the words cramped together in one harried breath against Kyle's ear.
"Of school?"
"Yeah."
Kyle pulled back slightly, shaking his head. "That's not gonna happen."
"You don't know that, Kyle! What do they do when they catch you defacing school property?"
"We're not gonna find out 'cause we're not gonna get caught."
"I can't go back there."
Squinting up into Oliver's face, Kyle tried to discern meaning from the all-too-typical Oliver-vagueness. "...back where?"
"Nowhere. Forget it."
"Oliver."
"Iowa," he said, releasing the word on a heavy breath. "Back home. If I get kicked out... I don't wanna go back there."
"Why not?"
"I—I don't like... the person I am there."
Kyle didn't know how it happened, but he seemed to absorb Oliver's sadness then, enveloping it in his own chest, as he rested his face against Oliver's shoulder. He didn't understand how someone else's self-doubts could affect him physically, but he couldn't control it. Oliver's pain transcended. It was their pain now.
"And here?" he whispered, his throat dry and cracking.
"Here... I can be..."
Kyle felt Oliver's fingers on his face, lifting his head so they could look into each others' eyes. Even in the darkness, Kyle could tell that it was important to Oliver, somehow, that he see him say what he wanted to say.
"Here I can be happy."
He saw it in Oliver's eyes, knew it was true, knew that he was a part of that happiness, too, and it made his heart flutter in his chest.
"Hey, don't worry," he said. "We're safe here. I promise. You're not going anywhere." He glanced toward the closed door, smiling. "And no one's getting in here."
Oliver narrowed his eyes, and Kyle could feel Oliver's nerves slipping away like seeds in the wind. "How did you get in here?"
Kyle shrugged. "I used the omnilock code."
"They gave you a code for your freshman research project?"
"First of all, freshman research is a crock. I'm getting credits to wash out beakers and test tubes. It sucks."
"And they gave you a code for that?"
Kyle sucked in his lower lip, trying to decide how much information to divulge. Finally, he settled on the whole truth. It would tarnish the moment if he did anything less.
"Well, if by 'gave' you mean that Professor FitzGerald is so damn old he can't remember the code and leaves it on his desk for anyone to see and memorize, then, yes, they gave it to me."
"Kyle!" Oliver gripped him firmly on the shoulders. Kyle could feel Oliver's chest tighten through his shirt, as if he were holding his breath. "You could get in so much trouble for that!"
"It's not like I've been cavorting in here at all hours of the night, wrecking up the place. I just figured, you know, this one time, we might need an escape route, so I came prepared."
Oliver finally released his captive breath. "You were thinking about that? For tonight?"
"Yeah. I told you I was gonna take care of you, and I meant it." Kyle dipped his head as a string of embarrassment wound around his insides. He felt like such a sap. "I could see how freaked out you were when the brothers gave us our little assignment."
"Thank you." Oliver's lips caressed the top of his head. "Thank you." The lips moved down, while strong, trembling hands brought Kyle's face back up. "Mmm... thank you." Those lips—those amazing lips—peppering every inch of his face in gratitude. Kyle closed his eyes and tugged on Oliver's coat, pulling their bodies even closer, while Oliver's mouth finally made contact with his. It was cold in the lab, but someone had apparently lit a bunsen burner underneath Oliver, because the man had gone absolutely wild.
His hands grabbed Kyle just under his ass and pulled up, lifting Kyle off the ground, and they turned together until Kyle's back was against the wall, his legs wrapping around Oliver's waist. Trapped between the hardness of the wall behind him and the hardness of Oliver in front of him, Kyle felt steady, secure, warm all over, his head buzzing, his groin throbbing, his heart leaping. Their slippery mouths danced together, tongues waltzing slowly at first, then swinging into a frantic jive. Kyle wondered, lightheaded and dizzy, Is this what it feels like? Is this what... love is?
It had moved beyond infatuation, beyond the physical. He felt Oliver's every movement as if it were his own, cupped every emotion as if it were a tender baby bird in need of nurturing. Oliver. His mind filled with Oliver, his body surrounded by Oliver, everything, Oliver, everywhere, Oliver. Oliver, Oliver, Oliver!
"Shh!"
Kyle muffled his laughter into Oliver's cheek. He hadn't realized he'd been speaking his one-track thoughts. He felt Oliver's face tighten into a wide smile against his jaw.
He decided to ramp up the pace, grinding his hips with more gusto. Reaching out an arm to steady himself on a nearby shelf, his fingers lost their grip, fumbling against the steel, grabbing onto anything they could find, and in the process knocking a glass beaker onto the ground. The loud shatter snapped both their heads up, the room cracking into silence once again like a rubber band stretched and released.
They both froze, holding in their breaths. Mere moments felt like eternities. Oliver pulled back his head, Kyle's legs keeping firm around his waist. His eyes were as wide as moons, flickering in the darkscape atmosphere of the lab. Finally, Kyle spoke softly and quickly into Oliver's ear. "I'll tell them you had nothing to do with it. That I roped you into it. That you didn't do anything, didn't know what was going on. I won't let them kick you out, Oliver. You won't have to go back home."
The world could have stopped spinning, falling out of the universe and into the black hole that had taken up residence in his stomach, while he waited for Oliver to react.
Suddenly, Oliver lips crashed into Kyle's once more, all fears of getting caught burned to cinders by the fires in their chests.
"Just... watch out for the glass," Kyle managed to say in between gasps.
Kyle peered out the little window while Oliver finished straightening out his clothes.
"Coast looks clear." He turned to Oliver, who was just stretching his coat over one arm. A sudden thought popped into his mind. "Here. Switch shirts with me. So they won't recognize us."
Oliver's brows knit together, but with a shrug he removed his coat then pulled his shirt up over his head. Before he could stop himself, Kyle dove in and pressed his nose against Oliver's chest, taking in the scent of him, then planted a wet kiss right under his clavicle. He felt Oliver tremble under his touch, then drew back, albeit reluctantly.
Shirts traded and coats resettled onto shoulders, they stood by the closed door of the lab, breathing in deep, as if opening the door would let in a flood of water.
Oliver's fists bumped together nervously, then, squinting down at Kyle's sweater over the wrong torso, he said, "How exactly is this a disguise? We still have the same shirts and faces between us, even in combination."
"I dunno." Kyle shrugged, holding back his smile. "I just wanted an excuse to watch you undress."
"Can I have my shirt back, then?"
"Nope." Kyle couldn't help but laugh when Oliver shoved him lightly on the shoulder.
The light rapport finally gave them the courage to move. They opened the door and crept out of the lab, out of the building, each one attuned to the slightest noise, then they began walking casually back in the direction of the dorms, both trying to maintain their air of innocent nonchalance. Kyle found it difficult to remain completely calm, as every few moments his knuckles grazed against Oliver's as they walked.
He spared a moment to reflect on his mid-grope revelation. Was he in love with Oliver? How could he be? He'd only met him in September, and they'd only been... he couldn't call it dating, but they'd only been together for a few weeks. It was the adrenaline talking, giving him a case of the crazies. He liked Oliver. A lot. He wanted to spend his free time with him. He wanted to see that face when he woke up in the morning. He wanted those arms to hold him while he slept. He wanted to walk with him, hand-in-hand, down a crowded street.
He wanted a lot of things that were stupid and silly and all the evidence he needed to know that he was still too young and inexperienced for things like love. And with Oliver—Oliver who was still in the closet. Who couldn't yet show his true self in public. Who didn't want to go home. Who didn't want to leave the happiness he'd found here.
Kyle shook his head. Too many thoughts. It was late; he was tired. He'd obviously gone a bit loopy.
And it was freezing out. He hugged his arms around himself as his teeth chattered. Suddenly, Oliver's arm was around his shoulder, pulling Kyle into his warm side. Kyle glanced up at Oliver's face, but he was looking elsewhere, and Kyle could see the movement behind those eyes, rampant thoughts scurrying about like mice in a dark hole. Then, Oliver leaned his head down and kissed Kyle sweetly on the temple.
Holding his breath, Kyle turned his head, finally catching what Oliver had been staring at. Another student, a girl he didn't recognize, stood under the eave of the building they had just passed, her bone-white fingers huddling around a cigarette. She nodded her head at him, then continued to fiddle with her lighter. Kyle blinked, holding back the urge to shake his head as if to wake himself from a dream. But Oliver's arm was still around him, his warm body still close, the feel of his lips still fresh on Kyle's skin.