Simon narrative. Warning: Strong dose of reality.
Not for the delusional or mean of heart. Review please x
So things go by pretty slowly. The clouds still drawl on by with bright swirls of grey and white, r the sky. He sky was a bright bright blue, as if hiding a secret with it's brightness. It's confident array of clouds armed with unlikely rain and cool breezes, it dominates the sky, the most vast thing to a human possible. I watch them steadily creep across the sky, making the buildings of the estate seem like grey fingers pointing accusingly at the brightness and warmth of the summer day, as if to say it didn't belong in this part of London.
And they were partly right, it didn't really. Because around here, murder, rape, overdose, alcohol poisoning, burly louts attacking grannies, stealing, kidnapping, armed robbery, plain old fashioned robbery and just about every petty crime you could think about most likely happened today, just in this part of the estate. People think twice about calling the police nowadays, is there any point really? Another death, and if they are saved, what is to say it wont happen tomorrow. When gangs are after you, they are on your tail, stepping on your heels at every step. I don't live around here, I live nearby, so the crime rates do spill out into my neighbourhood, the odd splash of colour of stealing or assault to my otherwise boring grey neighbourhood. But colour is bad, for me and for everyone else, so I try and stay as grey as possible because grey is a better way of life.
I think so. Colour is a bad thing, so I keep as grey as I can to blend in with the buildings as my backdrop, as grey as any random passer by and as grey as the rock hard pavement between the ground and my tied shoes, the chewed down gum solidly sticking me to the footpath, making me just a piece of scenery in this grey grey world.
So starting community service, the colour was overwhelming. First of all, the jumpsuits of that unnatural orange hue made me stand out among the crowd, as did my blemished record. And I stood in a group for the first time, the other four just as brightly coloured as I seemed on the inside.
Curtis, a brightly coloured individual, with splashes of grey (religion, kiss the cross, unblemished record) that was slashed through with a vibrant green of his drugs run that night and a broken career and regrets filling his eyes. With a strong attitude and being allergic bullshit added a darker hue of green to his coloured personality.
Kelly, a bright flourescent pink, matching her nails. A no crap attitude, bizarre fashion sense, loud, fighting record that matched her look but her personality shone through as a soft baby pink, a heart of gold thumping beneath it all. Her scowl softening into a surprising smile as she tries to cover up her softness with make up and loud words, because she's proper hard. And although no one will mess with her (to an extent), and everyone knows she's tough, she's been through it all, she's a typical chav (though you say it, your dead), but beneath it all, not everyone sees that caring nature that no one bothers to get to know. Her flourescent pink shines through her skin as a tone to her personality, a soul to her being, DEO to BO.
Alisha, a deep thick crimson red stands out as sophisticated among the lowlifes of the others. Community service a mere pit stop in her whirlwind life. Her sarcastic manner, her style in clothes, her pout that spouted words of contempt and spiky tongued comments that seem to hurt but everyone brushes them off as simple as Nathan's comments. But they actually take Alisha's comments seriously sometimes, definitely more than the latter, but that wouldn't be hard. Red as deep as the sea, as red as her lipstick, as close and personal as the dress hugging her curves. As red as the blood spilled around her, staining her face, staining her clothes, staining her mind (though the stains could be rid in the first too, not as easy the third). And as things change for her, her tone lightens, the colour brightens as she finds who she has searching for but it sinks to almost black as all hope disappears as he disappears also, so she turns to me to live up to something I'm not. Not yet. And the the tone lightens again.
Nathan, a vivid colour of no imaginable content. He could be as black as the sea, with thoughts of swirling darkness and dark humour and loneliness. Distress at his never ending power, grieving over seemingly constant death that seems to affect him most of all. Sometimes he's white, as blank as a sheet and as clever as one too. With a quick witted tongue, but nothing much else, he seems to have it all with looks and personality (or so he seems to think).He could be bright yellow with confidence and cheeky comments. A vibrant loud character, overpowering, opinionated with no opinions at all. He had to be heard, like it was a necessity. Talking into the silence filled up space, conducted laughter, annoyed people more often than not but it filled the unimaginable silence that would cause deep thinking of murder death and a series of, 'what now?'. Perhaps you could say that without him, everyone would remember the deaths, or perhaps without him none of this would have happened. He could be orange, annoying and insulting. Big headed, slightly sarcastic and a winning dollar smile that always cut you in time to the pinch. Being immune to Nathan is about as ridiculous as a story that causes powers. He could be a deep dark navy, as he is lulled for a second into deep meaningful conversation, reminiscing on people who always leave, about his tragic life (because truly, they've all gotten it in the butt) but it could just as quickly snap back into any of his other colours just as quick, because anything serious with Nathan is never long lived.
And me, a deep deep grey, seems to be lightening as time goes by, first crushed under Nathan's comments are starting to bring me up to confidence, even considered his friend. Kelly's once fearsome appearance disappears and becomes a fond figure to me, making me more loved. Curtis is not as irritated with me, even going as far as complimenting me (which are usually far and few between) are swelling my chest and making me walk taller. And Alisha's love is bringing me up, high in the clouds I watch by day. So I feel I'm the bright bright blue that floats by everyday. Once a grey, I have been lightened by everyone else's colours, by the orange jumpsuits, by everything we've been through.
And maybe I'm not as bright as the colour of the sky floating by me right now.
But I'm getting there.
It's in my future.
That was a reference to SuperHoody, yes.
Just in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't